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I just found his sex doll, I’m upset! What do I do?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 December 2016) 13 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2017)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I just found my boyfriend of 4 yrs silicone sex doll. I haven't had a chance to talk yo him about it bc his mom has been in the hospital but is now coming home. I can't hold it in much longer. I'm upset what do I do?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI guess he has double standards if he asks you not to use any sex toys, just talk to him and tell him how you feel.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2016):

Don't do anything... or say anything. Act like it isn't a sex doll. - And ask if you can use her as a passenger in your car as well because you don't always feel safe when driving at night.

If he faithful to you, and comes home to you. and you are really into him. Don't mess it up by having an argument over a rubber doll. It might have been given to him as a joke. And its not something he would know how to discuss.

Words can't be unsaid. Think before you talk to him...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2016):

I dont think it will be long before a smart businessman will stumble on the idea of opening a sex parlour where the entire sex workers consist of sex dolls male and female where the members of both sexes can come and have a quicky.Sure it will be more hygenic and carry less stegma than the real thing.It is only a doll dam it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2016):

Maybe he ordered it as a joke gift for someone for say a stag night or something. Or maybe he ordered it as a toy for himself while you are not there. I wouldn't worry too much about it, a sex doll can't really replace the feeling of a real woman. He might just find it a turn on when he's alone. At least he isn't out cheating on you with a real woman.

Just talk to him about it, but don't be too serious about it , maybe there is a perfectly logical explanation behind it :)

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A female reader, Sheree71 United States +, writes (24 December 2016):

He ordered it online in early dec. and has used it nc I checked. I couldn't say anything nc of his mom. I have issues wit it bc we have always agreed no vibrators or dildos that's his job and he doesn't want me using them. I never had issues with that.

This doll makes me feel like I'm not good enough in bed period. We have a good sex life. Plus how stupid does he think I am by hiding it in our closet floor and think I'll never find it. He should only be having sex with me

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (24 December 2016):

Anonymous 123 agony auntWhy are you upset? It's not like he's having an affair or has another girlfriend! It's a sex toy... Like a vibrator for women!

How long have you been with the guy? Maybe he used it before he met you

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (24 December 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntPut yourself in his place and think how you would like it if he found a vibrator you had stashed away? I really don't think it is any of your business - unless you are not getting enough sex, in which case that is a completely different conversation.

In your shoes I would put it back where I found it and say nothing.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 December 2016):

Honeypie agony auntBe calm when you ask him. It could be a gag gift or a joke that he just hasn't tossed out... OR it could be his "sex toy" for when YOU are not around.

What exactly is your problem with him having one?

I am not judging you here, I'd be pretty baffled if hubby got himself a blow-up doll kind of thing, but I'm not sure where your anger is coming from. Are you disgusted? Do you feel he is "cheating" on you wit ha piece of rubber? What exactly is it that makes you so upset?

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A female reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] United States +, writes (24 December 2016):

[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony auntHave you both been having enough sex? Maybe he feels like he isn't getting satisfaction or enough intimacy from you?

I don't know that much by what you described.. Would you mind elaborating further? You should let him know how you feel about him using the sex doll, all I can say at this point.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2016):

are we talking life-size? very detailed? costs 6 000 $ ? That's a little creepy if you ask me...

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (24 December 2016):

fishdish agony auntI don't know how this is different than if you used a vibrator in your spare time. Why are you upset?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2016):

I guess to add to my last answer I would ask: Do you guys have a regular sex life? Is he positive and respectful in bed (or does he perhaps have some bdsm traits?) Was he single for a long time before you two got together?(hence this was an outlet)

Honestly I don't know how common it is to have a sex doll, maybe this is not so bad after all...you will have to talk to him, see what he says. honestly if it's just another means to masturbation there may be nothing to worry about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2016):

Well, it sure is a little strange that he can't just wank off like a usual guy....

Are you sure that this wasn't just a joke present that some of "the guys" got him as a joke?

How detailed is this doll?

At least it's not cheating! Just a little strange...I guess I would wonder what other fetishes he has? Or if this indicates he is a sex addict or something? (doesn't necessarily mean this, but it is one possibility that he has to have the feel of a pussy all the time)

But I would approach him CALMLY about this. You can freak out later if you need to. You will only get the full story if you calmly present the situation to him.

Tell him "i found something a little strange today. Look, I know all guys wank off, so I'm not judging, but i'm just wondering what this sex doll is all about? Can you tell me about this fantasy?" or something like that.

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