A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my partner for 6 years, and this will be the first time we are spending Christmas with my family. Though my boyfriend has met the rest of my family, this will be the first time he's meeting my aunty.She's actually a really nice person but I've avoided the two of them meeting so far - as I don't see her very often and I know she will enjoy winding me up. Last time I saw her, she had transferred all of the family photos onto her iPad, and found all of these really embarrassing photos of me (weird teenage phases and ugly dress sense, awful photos of me eating, photos with acne and no make up, and also some weird and very embarrassing goth phase I went through which my boyfriend doesn't know of - honestly just memories I would love to forget) -My parents were also breaking up at the time, and for me I don't ever want to see these photos - anyway she made sure she got her iPad out and showed the whole family - she even sent the photos to another family iPad and said I wasn't allowed to delete them - she made such a big deal out of it saying I was being petty and I actually felt like crying- and this was just in front of my family. She didn't do it to hurt me, but the more I asked her to delete them the bigger deal she made to show everyone.Anyway I'm actually dreading Christmas Day because of this - even thought of 'uninviting' my boyfriend. I know he will still love me if she embarrasses me, but I just don't want this part of my life to be mentioned and don't see why it should - it was 10 years ago after all.I'm not close enough to her to ask her not to embarrass me. However I want to be prepared on Christmas Day should the situation arise. I feel that if I ask her not to, she will 'not understand' why I care and will do it anyway. Is there anything else I can say to stop her? She's not a bad person but can be a little insensitive.Thanks guys!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 December 2016):
 She loves to get a reaction out off you so don't give her one. If she shows photos just ignore her, your boyfriend is not going to care. In fact he might enjoy seeing you at different stages off your life. Am afraid most families do have that one person who wants to embarrass us, just don't give her the attention.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 When I read your post and tried putting myself in your situation, my first instinct was that of anger. But then I thought, why not take a different approach? Why not just laugh at the pics yourself if she does show them and make fun of the situations that you were in? You see, it's clear that this Aunty of yours loves riling you up and if not today, she'll choose some other situation to it. What if she chooses to do it when you're getting married, at your rehearsal dinner? You can't stop her and you certainly can't create a scene!
What you do now is, don't allow her to make fun of you; instead laugh at yourself and you'll see that it won't be quite as bad. We all have embarrassing pictures, each one of us. Bad hair, terrible posture, awful dress sense... You name it! It won't make your boyfriend love you any less... If anything, it'll make you even more endearing.
Remember, you can't avoid your Aunty forever and at some point of time she and your boyfriend will most certainly meet. Just get the picture story over with and let her know that you're not bothered by these things. People irritate others when they know that one will get irritated. If you don't give in and take the fun out of it, they'll stop.
Also, why don't you also look up some embarrassing pics of this Aunty and others and keep yourself armed? If you see things getting out of control, give as good as you get!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (21 December 2016):
 I'm afraid I would be having a word with this "insensitive" aunt and pointing out you are now an adult and entitled to be treated with respect. Also I would be telling her, in no uncertain terms, that her "joking" spoils your Christmas and that she should get her kicks in some other way.Sorry, but to me she just sounds like a bully.
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A
female
reader, Nittynora +, writes (21 December 2016):
 You say that you are not close enough to her to tell her how you feel, but she obviously feels close enough to you to show all your photographs to everyone. I would be really upfront and I would ask her to refrain from showing photos and sharing memories you would rather forget. If she thinks you are being petty, tell her what you have told us, that it makes you feel like crying, that is embarrasses you and that you have been dreading Christmas day because of it.I'm sure she loves you but you say she does not do it to hurt you. I'm sure she does not but by telling her how you feel and being upfront you can put her to the test. I know she is your Aunty but that does not give her permission to behave in that way. If she THEN does it. I would say in front of everyone I have just had a quiet word with you and I have begged you not to do this but you have why? Then SHE will find out what its like to be embarrassed. Don't cause a scene and don't shout, Do NOT Lose it with her. J8st say it in a very calm quiet dignified way. Like Aunty Bim Bim has said don't make too much fuss on the day, however I do not think she should get away with it and dismiss your feelings and requests. PLEASE don't uninvite your boyfriend that would be such a shame. I too think you should forewarn your boyfriend that she may show you some embarrassing pictures, maybe he could be supportive in not joining in the fun at your expense. x
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 It sounds as if the more you ask your Aunt to cease and desist the less likely she is to listen to you .... tell your boyfriend before then that your Aunt is insensitive and you are worried about her showing him the worst possible photos she can find of you. Let him know this is a serious enough issue for you that you have considered cancelling his invitation to attend the family event ...
You cant stop your aunt, and your boyfriend might be interested in seeing the photos, but ask him if he could refrain from joining in the teasing if that is the direction your aunt wants to take.
While we all have those photos lurking, where we are not at our best, or were taken during one of our weird phases, I do understand how you feel about this, I travelled overseas with a friend, she vetted and deleted all photographs off my camera where she didn't look her best, and yet posted on facebook a picture of me asleep, head back and mouth open. Because it was one rule for her and a different one for me it was almost the end of the friendship, and I still don't quite trust her.
Good luck, if you don't make too much fuss on the day it shold blow over quickly.
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