| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
|
We've been dating for 5 years. Why does he need so much attention from other women?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years. Throughout the relationship I have caught him engaging in online flirtation. He signs up for dating sites to chat with women, and he uses Facebook to chat with multiple women (sometimes the ...
A. 4 June 2017: Two questions:
1. Why are you still with him when you should have broken up with him in the first year itself when you knew that he was an ass?
2. Sorry for the language but can he get it up and perform?
The reason I'm asking you this is b... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't want to move abroad
Q. We've been dating for only a few months, our first month I told her I have a dream to move to another country and she said "Yeah if you go we'd break up because I wouldn't leave my family behind!" We decided to stay together but recently a few d...
A. 3 June 2017: There you go. She's a nice girl but you don't have the same goals in life. There's your answer. If your goals don't align and you don't see yourselves in the same place (physically and metaphorically), then that's pretty much the end of the ... (read in full...)
Recently, my girlfriend starts to bleed everytime she orgasms. What could be wrong with her?
Q. Hello all, I've been with my girlfriend for around seven years. We are our firsts in pretty much everything. Love her to bits still. No fights, good sex life, nothing wrong really. However, something has occurred in our sex-life which I...
A. 3 June 2017: My God your options are STDs and cheating? She needs to see a gynaecologist without any further delay because any bleeding which is abnormal is exactly that... It's not normal and it shouldn't happen. Common sense says that when her uterus spasms ... (read in full...)
Wanting to be seen as Hot. Is it an unrealistic expectation?
Q. I've never been much of a romantic; I don't really believe in love at first sight, or soul mates, and far prefer my relationship to be based on practical criteria over emotions (we have common interests, we have good conversations, we have a similar ...
A. 2 June 2017: You have way too much free time on your hands to be thinking about all this!
Life is short and time is fleeting. Cherish what you have. At least you have a personality that people like. That automatically puts you ahead of most others!... (read in full...)
Living together is making me broke
Q. My question is about sharing expenses as a couple. I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years, and we enjoy each other's company. We've been living together for 5 months, which has resulted in my expenses more than doubling. We both work and we ...
A. 2 June 2017: Great! Please show her the door! Tell get very nicely and politely that you can't keep paying for everything and since she's made it clear that she can't and won't contribute then maybe she should just move out. You can think about living together ... (read in full...)
I want to tell his wife that I was his mistress
Q. I am a 44 years old divorced woman. 15 years ago when I was 29, I dated this one guy who was an American soldier. I wasn’t very much attracted to him at first, so it took a lot of effort for him to get me into a relationship. We never said ‘I love ...
A. 30 May 2017: What will you get out of hurting her? You seem to be punishing her for not being pretty in your eyes! You were jealous of her when you thought that she was smarter and prettier but now that you know she's not, you're thinking what? He had fun with ... (read in full...)
I don't want both of us to be broken after we are dating
Q. Im that type of girl who seeks relationships that has deep connection and not just a plain relationship. So i know this guy for two years, and he's madly in love with me, at first i was really trying to avoid him because i wasn't interested in him ...
A. 30 May 2017: Tell him.
You never know how miracles happen and even if nothing comes out of this, at least he'll know that you loved him back. That in itself is a beautiful feeling
... (read in full...)
I fell in love with a part-time escort and not sure what to do now
Q. Long read, please be patient. I am a working professional in my early 30’s and I've been living and working in Southeast Asia for the past 10 years. I live and work in a rather remote and industrial area and thus I've always found it diffic...
A. 26 May 2017: Be very careful. You shouldn't become vulnerable just because you're lonely. You are very eager to find someone for yourself and hence are falling in love very easily. Not saying that an escort isn't a human being capable of being loved? but keep in ... (read in full...)
I cheated and had a one night stand!
Q. Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. She honestly is the love of my life and I am very happy with her and would do anything for her. Unfortunately, I made a terrible mistake a couple of nights ago , had way too many drinks (which I know ...
A. 24 May 2017:
OP when it comes to relationships I personally don't think there are any grey areas. It's either black or white.
So here's the thing.
Your girlfriend is NOT the love of your life.
You say you would do anything for her but that's a big fat... (read in full...)
Was he drunk or did he experience memory loss?
Q. hi, i am 43 years old and been on my own for 17.5 years, my ex left me when my daughter was five months old and i have remained single. i have met someone i really like and we have seen each other a few times. last night he came to see me and sa...
A. 23 May 2017: Major red flag... Based only on this reaction. Not only is this very suspicious, it's also bizarre and there's no good reason for a response of this kind. Lack of memory my a##. Please be careful of this guy... (read in full...)
I'm trying hard for us to be intimate but he is just not interested and won't give a straight answer as to why!
Q. Hello all! I was hoping I could get some other input with my problem. I don't really need to get into the past cause that's what it is. So I'll ask now (: I've been married for 4 years in August. We have 3 daughters together. 9,1 and 4 ...
A. 23 May 2017: I don't think you're doing anything wrong by what you've written... You sound like a great wife and mother. However, you said that you don't want to get to the past and you need some other input for your problem. What exactly has happened in the ... (read in full...)
5 years with girlfriend, losing attraction, annoyed and frustrated
Q. I been with my gf nearly 5 years, we are still living apart due to money issues and our permanent jobs. But things have changed. I'm avoiding her because I feel like i can't really speak to her like I speak to the guys. For example, I mentioned I'm ...
A. 23 May 2017: As you have both grown older since you first met, a lot has changed since the way things were 5 years ago. Your maturity levels are different and so are your priorities. You enjoy living a full life while she seems to be stuck in a rut, doing the ... (read in full...)
He argues about everything! Will our relationship last?
Q. My partner and I have been fighting a lot ever since getting together 2.5 years ago. I love him a lot but often have doubts about whether we will work long term. Whenever I ask him to do something small (like take his shoes away from my front do...
A. 21 May 2017: Simple answer- No, it's not going to work long term. Because it's next to impossible to live with someone and build a life with someone who's constantly looking to pick up fights and argue. Even worse, your partner is passive aggressive afterwards. ... (read in full...)
I feel used. Should I tell his Gf?
Q. I had been speaking to this guy that I met online.. we had been flirting away and getting on super well. Time passed as he asked to meet which I agreed. However he didn't make it and I found out it was because he has a girlfriend. I've accepte...
A. 21 May 2017: You shouldn't have agreed to be friends with him once you knew he had a girlfriend. If you had cut him off then and there, he wouldn't have had the audacity to mess with you any further.
Tell his girlfriend the truth if you like although I don't ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 years older than him, I know its crazy but its so intoxicating!
Q. I feel like I've completely lost my mind here, so maybe someone can give me some perspective. I'm a 38 year-old mother of one. I've been divorced for years. I've always thought of myself as a rational person until now. For reasons I cannot explain, ...
A. 20 May 2017: Think of your daughter. Don't do anything that will put her to shame. It's perfectly acceptable for you to have fun but do it responsibly. Also, remember that hot sex won't take away the fact that you're sad, depressed and lonely. You're filling the ... (read in full...)
Closure on possibly unfaithful ex boyfriend
Q. I was in a four year relationship in which I pretty much did everything for my partner. I paid for everything, was disrespected, even had him move in with me for a couple months until he got back on his feet. I come from an extremely broken family ...
A. 19 May 2017: How will anything change whether you know the truth or not? He's your ex and it doesn't matter in the least. And let's say that for the sake of argument he DID have sex with her which is likely, so what now? You know he's an ass and he's not a part ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's emotion letter to ex for closure has left me feeling second best
Q. I'm in a confused relationship, my boyfriend of 3 years (were living together) send a closure to his ex-gf behind my back. She cheated on him with another guy 5 years before we got together. He already told me that he dated one girl after her before ...
A. 19 May 2017: He's not over her yet and I doubt if he ever will be. You're right when you say that you're at second place. If that wasn't bad enough, he yells and cusses at you. Don't get taken in by the crocodile tears, they don't mean a thing. Just get up and ... (read in full...)
My female friends keep hitting on my boyfriend. What do we do?
Q. My boyfriend and I, both 26, have been together one year. We met through a social group meetup. We are the youngest among our large group of friends as everyone else is in their 30s. We have been with the group for 1.5 years. We are both social ...
A. 16 May 2017: You have to be selective about who you're friends with. And if you look at it in the truest sense of the term them you're not really "friends" friends with these people. You are part of a Meetup and that's how you know each other.
Too much soc... (read in full...)
My boyfriend needs time to figure his life out!
Q. I've written on here before about concerns with my boyfriend not saying I love you after about 5 months. However, we split up/decided to take a break yesterday although I'm unsure exactly which it was. Our relationship has been very happy...
A. 13 May 2017: Sweetie I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now but this guy is not in love with you. He's good to you, he cares for you, he loves you but he's not IN love with you. If he was, nothing and no one could have stopped him from ... (read in full...)
Why does my teacher take photos of me? Yes I do have a crush on him.
Q. So I have a crush on this particular teacher for at least 4 years already. At first, i was completely not interested and found him extremely ugly. However, tables had been turned around in my second year of my Secondary school. Apparently he f...
A. 12 May 2017: What do you mean he takes photos of you? Does he ask you to pose for him or does he do it in a clandestine manner?
Either way, it's beyond weird and it's very very wrong. Get over your crush... Nothing's going to come off it and you'll just get... (read in full...)
What can I do? My Gf of 5 years says she wants to have sex with another guy.
Q. Okay so I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. Recently I started noticing a big change in our sex life like she was losing interest. After a few months and started asking her what changed and all she would say was I don't know. After it e...
A. 11 May 2017: There's nothing much to do here. Either you're into this kind of stuff or your not.
She is. You're not. And never the twain shall meet.
If you give in to her then you'll be doing something that you don't believe in and that is abhorrent to ... (read in full...)
How should I approach this situation? I think he is messaging other women.
Q. Recently I have had suspicions that my partner is messaging other women and watching porn. What makes me think this? On a few occasions I have heard orgasms, which made me feel uncomfortable, as I don't like the thought of my partner getting ...
A. 10 May 2017: You're very young OP and the reason I'm saying this is because you have the best years of your life in front of you. You have your entire 20s' lined up and you want to waste it on someone who you don't trust and possibly never will?
I get that... (read in full...)
I'm torn between boyfriend and a new guy. Do I stay with my Bf or go with the new guy?
Q. I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We have a huge age gap 11years??. We met at work and fell hard for each other. We've obviously had our ups and downs but grew stronger throughout the year. My boyfri...
A. 10 May 2017: So Harley, I'm assuming from your name that you're 28 and your boyfriend is 39?
Ok so here's the thing. As much as you think that you want to make things work with the boyfriend, take it from me it's not going to be easy. You're right when you... (read in full...)
I'm thinking about people in my past! Also I'm not satisfied with my sex life! Advice?
Q. A little back story before getting into my concerns-I have been married for almost half a year. We are both very much in love and have a great relationship and I'm treated very well. I'm happy! I lost my virginity to my husband, as he's the only one ...
A. 8 May 2017: I was going to ask you the same question as Uncle Wise... How do you have the time to think of all this? Are you working? What does your husband do for a living? After you alone at home for most of the day?
You seem to have a LOT of time on your ... (read in full...)
What, if anything, should I tell my future husband about my dating history?
Q. After dating few men and some random hook ups, i eventually had to agree upon an arranged marriage by my parents. While my parents are seriously looking out for a groom, I am confused if i have to change my contact number and also delete my faceb...
A. 8 May 2017: Keep your Facebook completely out of bounds for anyone other than whoever is on your friend list. The simplest thing would be to block the exes and the hookup guys.
As regards your past, just keep totally mum. It's what you present to the other pa... (read in full...)
My husband is almost forcing me to have sex with my lesbian neighbor
Q. Hi, my husband has recently come home after a month away and suddenly started wanting me to have sex with my lesbian next door neighbour, he doesn't want to watch or be involved at all. We have known she has a crush on me for a long time and given ...
A. 5 May 2017:
OP if you don't want to then you don't have to. No one can force you to do anything and he's almost pimping you out. I think he feels that this would spice up your sex life for some reason. Tell him firmly that you will not tolerate this nonsense... (read in full...)
Does this man care?
Q. I recently returned back from Australia to Ireland to look after a sick relative. My WHV was almost up and I have plans to go back in the near future to some touring that I didn't get to do this time round. 3 months before returning I started a "no ...
A. 30 April 2017: Slow down! You barely know this guy, you're living on different continents, you started off with a no strings attached thing and now you're talking of marriage!
Put the brakes on for now and take some time to see how and where and how this goe... (read in full...)
Kissed another woman for the first time and enjoyed it. What happens from here?
Q. So i was at a friends wedding today (some alcohol consumed!) i was chatting with my girl friend (friends for years) about something random in the bathroom stall. Out of nowhere she said she had never kissed a girl and asked would i be up for it, i ...
A. 29 April 2017: You might be treading on a landmine here. I presume from the tone of the post that by open relationship you mean that you're free and forthcoming with your fiance regarding most things and not that you're open to sleeping around when others.
What ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend promised to pay for salon visit after being told the price then backed out but is willing to spend $$ on his niece??
Q. Last week, I told my boyfriend I'm going to get my hair colored for the first time. I showed him photos to get his opinion. After I settled on a style, he said he wanted to treat me to get my hair done. I told him he didn't have to do that and it ...
A. 28 April 2017: I totally agree with the lady who said that she would find it unsettling too but she doesn't really know why. My thoughts exactly!
This isn't about the money, it isn't about competing with the child or being jealous of her, it's not even like you... (read in full...)
Did I do something so offensive that my b/f needs to rethink our relationship?
Q. Soooooo my bf and I have been together for a few years now. We have a mutual friend who we've been cool with for a decade. This friend chills with us every other day. My bf feels like our friend doesn't respect him and has attempted to talk with him ...
A. 27 April 2017: Your boyfriend is clearly not ok with the friendship with the other guy. How has the relationship with him sustained for so long? And how and why does he hang out with you guys ever other day? Who's friend was he to begin with... Yours or his?
... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to have sex when women are having their periods?
Q. I'm meeting up with my bf next month who stays in another city. The problem is that the date when I will be going, I might be on my periods. I've told him that already to which he has said that he's fine with it. What can this possibly mean? Is he ...
A. 27 April 2017: He's just desperate to be with you, periods or no periods! It doesn't matter to some men... It's not about being kinky or gross, it just doesn't matter to them.
If you are comfortable with it then go ahead. If not, then you can always say no a... (read in full...)
Is my relationship healthy?
Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We got into a relationship pretty fast. I expressed how not having sex until marriage was important to me but after a month he talked me into it. We have went out a lot and he says things like this relationship...
A. 24 April 2017: If you ever have to ask this question, then you know it's not healthy.
You're young and naive; he's older, controlling and manipulative and looking to get you pregnant so that you have no way out.
Get out of it please. I'm not sure how easy it... (read in full...)
The boyfriend, the receipt and not sure of the meaning behind leaving it out
Q. We went out with my boyfriend and my parents for lunch. My parents are visiting from another country. They have met 3 times.. At lunch I asked the waitress for the check, my father wanted to pay. My boyfriend quickly left and I saw he is paying the ...
A. 23 April 2017: He did a good thing and anyone else in your place would have been happy.
Exactly what isn't a big deal in your culture? Being decent and polite to elders or caring for your partner's parents enough to pay for them? As far as I know, this would be... (read in full...)
Are there any telltale ways to see if he sees me just as a sister/friend?
Q. Hey guys, first of all, thanks for stopping by, even if you don't plan on answering. I will cut to the chase: I'm a 20 year old girl, and I really like this 25 year old boy, whom I met over the internet. Our locations are too far away to go see e...
A. 21 April 2017: Just stop for a moment and think about what you're doing and how naive you're being in today's day and age when you know the pitfalls of the dark underbelly of the internet.
There is no way, absolutely no way for you to know who you're talking ... (read in full...)
I stumbled across hidden videos in my girlfriends computer of her having sex with her ex
Q. I am engaged to my dream girl and our relationship is perfect. We've been together for 2 years now and We are the perfect couple... or so I thought.. Things changed when I found some things on her lap top. I needed to finish up a report but forgo...
A. 19 April 2017: Ok here's my take on the situation.
Let's leave aside the snooping for a moment here and focus on your insecurities.
You (understandably) have a huge problem with the fact that she was enjoying herself a lot more with the ex. We don't know wh... (read in full...)
Should work always come first for my boyfriend, even in case of a minor medical emergency like mine?
Q. My boyfriend of one year works from home. We live together. He's the project manager of a small but successful company. He works at least 10 hours a day. I had severe stomach pains yesterday which came back this morning, so my boyfriend took m...
A. 18 April 2017: Work shouldn't always come first but in this case you're overreacting. He took you to the ER and your grouse is that he didn't display affection and concern for you the way you wanted him to. Some people are just not very demonstrative and maybe ... (read in full...)
I thought my fiance didn't love his ex wife but his old Facebook post seemed to imply otherwise
Q. I am so disappointed please tell me if I'm over reacting. I found an old post from 6 years ago on my Fiancé face book on his marriage anniversary stating how lucky he was to have her and he hit a jackpot and hope this happiness never ends! I know ...
A. 18 April 2017: I agree with every single thing that Chigirl had said and I couldn't add anything more to it.
That is, in reality, the truth of Facebook posts. Don't read too much into them.... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I am 19 years old and I still hang out with my parents ?
Q. Hello, Well, i am 19 years old, i am studying in college, but still living with my parents. The thing is i don't hang out with my friends: i still don't drive and we live far away from the city, and there's no public transport nearby. So whene...
A. 17 April 2017: What is the world coming to if children have started questioning if it's "weird" to hang out with their parents? *Sigh*!!
Sweetie, I'm 15 years older to you and married and a mum myself and yet some of the best moments that I spend and cherish ... (read in full...)
Ho do I deal with her speaking FOR my Dad all the time?
Q. Dad's girlfriend is always speaking FOR my dad. She comes off very possessive but in an enthusiastic way. Constantly bragging about how she is with my dad. I didn't think much of it at first but overtime I have seen more signs of her narcissistic ...
A. 17 April 2017: Honestly, I don't think she means anything bad; I think it's more of a case of you not liking her for obvious reasons and that's why she pisses you off.
I also don't think she's controlling his life per se and I think that whatever control ... (read in full...)
Husband comes home drunk with his underwear inside out and stained. Is he cheating?
Q. Yesterday my husband came late from work again. This time it was far worst than the last time ... He works at a restaurant , he is a waiter. Three weeks ago he came home 6 hours later after leaving the workplace, He doesn't use a cellphone since he ...
A. 15 April 2017: Oh yes I remember you, the condom sniffer. This is probably the third or fourth post of the same nature and each gets more and more bizarre and outlandish. You are either a troll or someone who seriously needs a grip. Weird doesn't even begin to cut ... (read in full...)
It's now a reunion weekend instead of a romantic getaway, and I'm paying for it!
Q. Dear Cupid!!!! I recently started dating this guy about three months ago,he's currently not working because he's training to be a police officer. I met him right before he went into the Academy and the things that they go through it is excruciati...
A. 12 April 2017: You've known him for three months and it's a little extravagant gifting him a trip just to make him happy. Don't get him used to nice things this early... You barely know the guy. How did he even agree to accept this gift from you?
Look, tell him... (read in full...)
| *nonymous 123's friends
These are mutual friends, so *nonymous 123 has
added them and they have added *nonymous 123!
|
