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Is it a bad idea to hook up with a single mother?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 November 2016) 11 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2016)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Recently I broke up with my girlfriend and now I'm single. I know it's too early to hang out with other women but there is this girl she's 09/10 rating hot brunette, younger, she used to be my coworker but she got pregnant, got married and now she's divorced, I hung out with her years ago when I was married and she was single (I know, I cheated on my ex wife), we kissed but I didn't have sex with her back the. I was married and she didn't want to hang out with me again because of this.

Fast forward days ago she was at my workplace because her sister works there and I met her there again and later I texted her saying "Where are you? You already gone? I can't believe I've lost the chance of kissing you again" and she said "You missed what? Why? You have another chance...LOL" and I said again "Ok I'll ask you out again" and she replied "Ok call me later, bye!"

Guys is it best I ask her out to a nightclub or a bar? Even though I won't date her because she's a single mom. Don't get me wrong, I'm sorry to all single moms here but I had a single mom girlfriend in the past and it was the worst relationship I had in my life. I want to hang out with her, hook up and have fun but because she has a kid this turns me off! Maybe I should forget about her?

View related questions: broke up, co-worker, divorce, ex-wife, kissing, my ex, text, workplace

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntYes, I think you should leave her be. IF she is as good looking as yo u say, she won't have a problem attracting the kind of guy she wants (and sorry OP, you might not be "it".)

Most single mom's I know are not looking for an F-buddy or someone who has issues with kind and single moms.

Pick someone to "hook" up with who is a free agent... and make sure you don't knock her up.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (27 November 2016):

mystiquek agony auntDon't waste her time! I've been a single mom and I would have been sickened if some guy I liked had the attitude that you have. Your best bet would be to find a single gal who just wants sex like you, not a mom with a child to worry about.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (27 November 2016):

like I see it agony auntIf she's a single mother she probably takes dating a lot more seriously than she did when you last tried to hook up with her, because now she has a child's safety and well-being to think about too.

If you expect to hook up with her on your first night out, I expect your plans to be unsuccessful. And since you've said you won't put in the effort to actually date her, it's not likely you're ever getting laid out of this. If that's all you're after, don't bother.

She's not a good fit for you, sorry. And for future reference, the decent thing to do is to be upfront about your intentions when you only want sex. Other human beings aren't your personal sex toys to be used and then discarded.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (27 November 2016):

Aunty BimBim agony auntYou are pretty darn gormless .... if she didn't want to hang out with you when you were a married man she sure as hell wont want to be your stop gap hole to stick your dick in until the time comes when its not too early to hang out with other women.

Piss off and leave her alone you POS!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016):

Do the child a favour and stay away from the mom!

You are technically a disaster zone waiting to negatively impact this persons life and worse still you feel entitled to because as far as you are concerned she is a hot brunette.

Somehow this girl has got the idea that you are a decent person and you probably rank quite highly in your own opinion but you are everything they dont need.

Your lack of maturity will soon upset her equilibrium and you are not worth the pleasure of a one night stand.

If you must amp yourself up for a quickie then head for the nearest sex worker after a night with the boys at a local strip club.

Being a single mom doesnt mean she is desperate for sex.On the contrary, it means she is looking for a sensible relationship with some with a future and much higher committment level than you have, so leave her alone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016):

What a charming gentleman you are.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016):

Do you see the reactions you're getting from women? You are self-admittedly a cheat, your greeting to someone you haven't seen for some time is a cheap pickup line. And you ask such a question?

Single-mothers have kids who depend on them to make wise decisions. These can be very vulnerable women; because in most cases the men who fathered their children have left them and their kids, for various reasons. You sound like a guy who would get his kicks, and he's out the door.

The question is not should you date her; but should she date someone like you?

No, sir!

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A female reader, Slippers  United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2016):

Anon 123 hits it

And btw you are an idiot ..grow up

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYour final sentence is the best thing you've said.

You should totally forget about her. Preferences are one thing, but you just seem to have a bad attitude about it all - coming across pretty entitled too.

If you want to hook up with someone, try to come across a little less arrogant - especially in a situation where you haven't seen them in a long time and haven't even said anything else to them beforehand, like "hi, how have you been?"

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016):

Haha!!! Do her a favour and keep away from her. You're clearly an idiot and a disrespectfull one at that.

Fyi: as a single mum, i wouldn't date you as you're a child....'hang out' is for kids, and so is the nightclub!

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (27 November 2016):

Anonymous 123 agony auntWow you're a keeper! Any woman would be lucky to have you! It's difficult to find such amazing people and maybe she wouldn't be able to find someone quite as good as you once you leave her so do her a favor and keep away from her.

It's bloody utterly disrespectful how you're taking about her and her child and it's best that you keep away from both of them.

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