A
female
age
30-35,
*ustmop
writes:My boyfriend has been pressuring me into blowing another guy and I feel completely uncomfortable with the idea, I have told him this everytime he's asked and now he brings it up in the middle of sex or while he's dirty talking, I told him I'd consider it but I still do not like the idea or want to. I finally agreed to it and he's trying to arrange it within the week and I just feel empty I already feel degraded before it's even happened. I am unsure what to do or say as now I feel like I have to do it. Do a lot of men want their girlfriends to give other men head? I wish he'd at least give me some time to adapt and try and be okay with it.
View related questions:
oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, marianox  +, writes (23 December 2016):
I think that you're over reacting. A blowjob is something very ordinary, almost every woman has done that. Degraded?. The act itself is degraded if you look it up from a "moral" perspective. Some might says " if the act is done with love".Just 2 days ago I slept with a lady, married with 6 children. She did everything!. No love there...at all.It is just sex! Don't lie ourselves anymore! The only thing to take into consideration is that both must be agree. So...don't hear the ^^^^^ down here If you want to suck and make happy your BF, go ahead. If you don't ...easy: don't do it.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 Are you easily led? The moment you opened up with he is pressuring you, I knew that this post was not going to end well. I am scared because you have gave in to doing something you don't want to do, something that will leave you feeling degraded and horrible about yourself.
My guess is that you love him and that is your reason for doing it. But does he love you? I doubt it, as he would never pressure you to do anything. This time it is a blow job, your self confidence goes and next time it will be a threesome, anal, group sex, prostitution. Where does it stop OP, where are your limits? Be very careful as this could ruin your confidence and self esteem and no man is worth that, especially one who does not care how you feel.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2016): That's disgusting of him to ask, no respect, no man who loves a women would ask such a thing. What straight man wants to see his gf giving head to a man. You sure his not gay. Dump him please.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (27 November 2016):
 He sounds like a pimp and he is whoring you out. He is what he is... a fucking arsehole. I cant help but feel very angry on your behalf. If you do this now ,where does it end for you? What do you do when he ups the ante? Let yourself be sexually abused in ways that will degrade you beyond repair? Offer up your soul on a plate to satisfy and keep this pig happy. Honey you need to tell this guy to fuck off. You are not ok with it so IT IS NOT OK
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): You must be stupid to even think of doing this. No man in his right mind would ask someone who he cares about to do something they did not want to. If you had a daughter would you tell her to behave like this.
He is not for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (27 November 2016):
 If I were you I'd tell him:" honeybunches, I have thought it over and there is NO WAY in HELL I want another man's dick in my mouth for YOUR pleasure,I find the whole idea degrading to me and THAT is not something I WANT to feel or do. IF it's VERY important to you, maybe you need another GF, because it's NOT going to happen with me.".
You NEED to stick up for yourself more, OP. Telling him:" I will think on it" makes him think that he can persuade or manipulate you into doing it, and guess what? HE almost got it! And guess who would feel disgusted with herself afterward? YOU. And guess who might USE that to manipulate you into doing other degrading (in your eyes) things? HIM.
I'm sure there are PLENTY of men who could have this fantasy, but I don't think there are many AT ALL who would try and coerce their GF into doing it. Especially if she isn't willing or interested in swinger-type things or polyamorous things..
THERE IS NO WAY you OWE him t od this OK? JUST say no! Or Fuck no! Hell no!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): This is asolutely not ok! This guy is very, very bad for you and you should leave him immediately. He allready got you as far to agree to somethimg you know you don't want to do, and he knows you don't want to do this!! Whatever his reasons may be doesn't matter, all that matters is that YOU don't want to do this. It is YOUR body and he has absolutely nothing to say about what you do with it. This man clearly does not respect your boundaries. Please read your post and pretend it's your best friend, your sister, or your daughter who wrote it. What would you say to her? That's right, you would tell her to get away from this guy as soon as possible. You do not owe him anything, you are an independent person who deserves to be treated with respect, just like everyone else! I realize it is difficult because you are probably in love with this guy, but how he is treating you is NOT love. If you love someone you want to make sure they are happy and healthy. By pressuring you to do something he knows you don't want, he is knowingly making you unhappy and mentally unhealthy. There are so many great men out there, please do not spend any more time on a guy who does not have your best interests at heart and only thinks about himself. I hope you find the strength (which you do have!!!) to leave this guy and to NOT engage in any of his sick plans. I wish you the very best.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2016): Would a decent loving BF have this fantasy? Possibly.Would a decent loving BF want you to do it? That is less common but still possible.Would a decent loving BF push you into doing something you aren't comfortable with? Absolutely not.
...............................
A
female
reader, LoveShoudntDestroy +, writes (26 November 2016):
 I'm sorry that you got put in this situation. I hate when love gets gross and ugly. Since you seemed to be in a monogamous relationship, I personally think think is not a good sign, and I sure as hell wouldn't do it-I have been put in bad situations similar and the times I didn't do what I felt was wrong, the better I felt. Don't give away your love and body to someone only to exploit you. In my opinio, If a man really loves you, he doesn't want to share you or push you sexually. Unless it is something that you wanted badly to do with your body, don't do it only for the sake of pleasing your boyfriend. I promise I'm trying to help you out here. He needs to respect your boundaries. Healthy Relationships have to have respect, boundaries, empathy, trust, and communication. Looks and sex and all that is just lust, not love. It's taking me 32 years to realize all this and I wish you the best.??
...............................
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (26 November 2016):
I agree with the others in that this is horrible thing for him to do to you, and a very bad thing for you to do.In dealing with this, you should know your boyfriend's motivation: 1) His pal is giving him some money or other compensation? 2) He's been bragging to his pal that you give great BJ's and wants you to prove it to his friend? 3) He will get aroused by this?To give him a little perspective about how you feel about this, ask him to give his pal a BJ before you do it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2016): Finally my dear please remember that there are men out there who are looking for female victims for snuff movies.
You gasp in horror and so do I but you are already in a vulnerable ++++ situation with two men, a potential date raped drink and a devious plan.
Some groups are emboldened by what they hear others get away with and they need cash for xmas, hence the hurry.
You however dont need to be part of their plans, so do yourself a favour and get away as soon as you as you wake up!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2016): Your darling other half has revealed himself to be your pimp and he has been working on you so long that you have no idea where you are going in this fog.Pimpy is posing as hubby and he has decided that now is the time to 'break' you in.After that he will reinforce the message with compliments, degredation and beatings and also get you to engage in other acts you were formally uncomfortable with.As calculating as he is , he will already have his phone or camera ready for online screening of your first magnificent debut into the world of porn performer!Who knows what else he has on his hideous script!And the Zod has practically talked you into consent...Well you could arrange for the police to bust in on cue and rescue you or you could find its time to call mama or just head out to post a letter, buy milk, get a hairbrush or anything mundane that doesnt require his attentive presence and then get on the bus to anywhere.Call someone he doesnt know and stay with them or book yourself into a hotel without 20 minute time slots.Flee the scene.Text him "Pimp yourself asshill!!! And choke on your own sad plan. By the way I'm sueing you for coercion and intimidation!"He will not believe your outright gall and cheek and may self implode.But you will be free.And sue him for return of your property and make pimpy bluster in court.Never see him as anything decent again.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (26 November 2016):
 It's a fantasy for some men but I for one would never fancy something like this.
If he's pressuring you into things you don't want then he's not showing you any respect. Who knows where it will stop?
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (26 November 2016):
This isn’t good. Dougbcoll has explained very clearly why any man that valued you wouldn’t want this to happen or expect this of his girlfriend. But what is worse than the fact that he wants to share you around like this, is that he isn’t respecting your feelings about the matter. You don’t want to do it and yet he continues to pressure you. What kind of person is he?
I think you are very sure of what to do: you just don’t have the courage to tell him what you are really feeling about this. I’m not surprised really, because he wouldn’t care anyway. IF he enjoys it, you feeling degraded, humiliated and uncomfortable isn’t going to matter to him. This is a bad guy who you should get away from as soon as possible. Please, please don’t go through with this to please him!
You certainly don’t want to be having sex with this man either if he uses your most intimate times together to pressure and bully you in to things you don’t want for his own gratification. Definitely not normal, and definitely a major warning to you to run for the hills!
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (26 November 2016):
 anything of value a guy does not want it used much, touched by other people, and keeps in a safe place- maybe on a high shelf.
when a guy has a girl that is valued, loved and cherished to him he wants to protect, not be touched by other guys,keep her safe.
and when he does these things you feel safe, loved ,and valued to him.
what he is doing is destroying what you to have together, by inviting in a third party. do you think things would be the same afterward of another person ?
"do a lot of men want their girlfriends to give other men head ? " no! i could not stand the thought of it, that would hurt me forever.
your guy is a type of guy that only cares for his self, and little thought of you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (26 November 2016):
 Please leave him immediately, before he forces you to do it.
No, most guys don't want to share their girlfriend/wife.
A good boyfriend will *never* pressure you into something you don't want to do.
Please get away from him!
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (26 November 2016):
 I couldn't agree with Anonymous123 any more! What should you try to get used to the idea or try to adapt?? No, its not normal for men to want to see their partner perform a sexual act on another man. Yes, there are some people that are ok with this lifestyle, but the average man wants his lady all to himself.
Sweetheart, do yourself a big favor and RUN...not walk from this man. He isn't a good guy and heaven only knows what he might ask you to do next.
Love yourself and find someone who loves you in return. You deserve that!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2016): I think about my girlfriend doing it, and as much as I know how hurtful it would be to me, it's also a huge turn on. I'd like it to happen but if it's something she really isn't okay with, then I'd drop it. He should have given you more time but if you're truly not okay with it, just put your foot down and let him know.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 November 2016):
 What what what!! OMG this is just atrocious! No, men do not EVER want their girlfriends to give other men head, unless they are sick perverts with no moral compass whatsoever.
Please please please dont do this. He is pressurizing you into doing something absolutely sick and this could lead you down the road of lifelong depression and self loathing for not being able to refuse.
Break up with this asshole AT ONCE and do not ever look back. Believe me, you don't "have to" do it just because you've agreed to it. Just tell him to get the hell out of your life and under no circumstances should you either give in to his demands or take him back. This man is nothing but evil. Today he's asking you to perform oral sex on someone, tomorrow he'll ask you to sleep with someone else! He's even worse than a pimp and for all you know, that might be what he's planning on doing with you.
Get as far away from this guy as you can, tell your family and friends the truth because there is nothing to be afraid of. Don't let him or societal fear of what people would say if they know, get the better of you. If he harasses you, do not hesitate to call the police.
Please be safe and keep us informed.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (26 November 2016):
 WHAT THE HELL? DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!
If he had any genuine feelings for you, he would (a) not want to share you and (b) would not pressure you into something with which you are uncomfortable.
Why are you with this low life? You are worth more. Can you not see he is pimping you out?
Dump this disgusting creature and find someone who loves you and doesn't want to share you or make you uncomfortable.
PLEASE!!!!!!
...............................
|
