My boyfriend is addicted to porn. How can I help him?
Q. Help my boyfriend is obsessed with porn? am with my boyfriend 2 half years, and i had alot problems. woman has been big threat in our relationship cas of cheating and him having them as friends. my boyfriend also loves porn never stop looki...
A. 3 June 2009: Sweetie, sounds like porn is not the only problem in your relationship, you mention he has cheated with other women.
Well, when someone is caught out doing something they know they shouldnt be doing, they will blame all sorts of things. He is sh... (read in full...)
Her family doesn't like me. She's avoiding me. Do I break up with her?
Q. Hi,i'm 22 of age i being in the r/ship 2 and half years after 1 and half years we had sex and to find out she was a virgin after talkin about it to have sex in our r/ship we had it ones.After that all changed our r/ship,she came busy with r/ship,no ...
A. 3 June 2009: Sweetie, it certainly sounds like she wants to break up with you but lacks the courage to tell you outright. I suggest that you stop trying to contact her.
I think that she is using her brothers and her parents as excuses to break up with you... (read in full...)
He cheated, we got engaged. Then I cheated but he doesn't know!
Q. I need help, i am 22 years old and i've been in a relationship with my boyfriend/fiance since highschool (6 yrs) he was my first everything. I was so in love with him, I thought we'd be together forever, but the last few months have been rocky for ...
A. 3 June 2009: I think that you should put a hold on your plans for marriage and rather see a relationship counsellor to help you both sort out your problems.
I do understand that you have both made some silly mistakes and it would be better to sort out these is... (read in full...)
Would this be considered cheating or unfaithfull?
Q. Well over the weekend my husband and his co-workers threw a retirement/55th B-day party for his work friend "Corey" that they threw at the beach. We had games,alcohol,food and all the typical beach party gear.When we were playing volleyball on a few ...
A. 3 June 2009: Its great to be desired by another man, but when that man takes advantage of a woman when she is asleep.... well that is sick and who knows what he would do if he had had more opportunity?
Stay as far away from this man as possible and limit al... (read in full...)
My feelings are so messed up!
Q. I have been meeting up with this guy for a month now, with both have issues on either side which is making it hard for us to both be together as a normal couple, he has kids i have a boyfriend, we text, email meet up once a week, my feelings have ...
A. 1 June 2009: Would the ex just have a problem with you seeing him or any other women seeing him???
Very few people remain friends after a divorce and if you date a person who has an ex, it is to be expected that there will be some problems.
What really c... (read in full...)
Texting his co-worker 30-40 times a day but says nothing is going on
Q. My husband has been texting a female co-worker at work. Sometimes a multiple of 30 times a day.She is a lot younger than he is. I found out. He swears nothing is going on. Do I believe him, or am I being stupid to think that nothing is going...
A. 28 May 2009: I would believe him that nothing is going on IF he is not replying to her text messages.... he's replying to them so there is definitely something going on!
... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready! Why did I have sex?
Q. I feel awafull, I am almost 30, and a single mum, have met a man on a dating site, he is 34, we just met once, that went ok, chatted a little online, and send a 1 or 2 text messages, and than, yesterday he invited me over for dinner. I went, but I ...
A. 27 May 2009: Well, it sounds like all is not lost! Let us know how things progress.
Honeygirl... (read in full...)
I cant let go of my younger lover
Q. How do I let go of my lover? I am in an unhappy marriage. I have asked my husband to leave so many times but he refuses to because according to him, he wants our family to be complete. We have one son.We talk only when absolutely necessary, mo...
A. 27 May 2009: You dont say how old you son is and judging by your age imagine he would be around 20 or so?? If you are unhappy and have discussed this with your husband, who seems to want to hold the family together because he is in his comfort zone, then take ... (read in full...)
We were so good together but he cant cut off ties with his ex!
Q. I thought we could make this into a great relationship but hes turned around and said he doesnt know if he can cut ties off with his ex who he has kids with, saying i might get hurt in the long run as hes not sure how he feels about her, im so upset ...
A. 27 May 2009: Sounds like he is still in love with his ex and has lots of unresolved feelings for her. I suggest that you dont pressurise him into choosing but take things slowly and see what happens.
He has a history with his ex - [kids] so he cannot cut ties... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready! Why did I have sex?
Q. I feel awafull, I am almost 30, and a single mum, have met a man on a dating site, he is 34, we just met once, that went ok, chatted a little online, and send a 1 or 2 text messages, and than, yesterday he invited me over for dinner. I went, but I ...
A. 27 May 2009: Well, you were drunk and since you were drunk you were not in control.
You cant go back now, you have slept with him! But I would be very wary as he sounds like he lied to you to get you to have sex. First telling you hes gay then telling ... (read in full...)
My husband finds the idea of retirement dull but I would like to spend more time with him
Q. I am 51 and my husband is 54, and he told me that his firm said to him that his retirement is set to come in six weeks time. He told me that they didn't really want to do it, and when he asked why they wanted him to retire, they said it was nothing ...
A. 22 May 2009: Sweetie, your husband wants to feel wanted, hence his reluctance to accept retirement. Perhaps encourage him to get a part time job assisting in a store or as a charity worker, just something to make him feel that he is still a valued member of ... (read in full...)
My affair ended and my husband forgave me....but the guy I cheated with wont leave me alone!
Q. Ok, this is my story I have been working for a great company for 2 years now have a wonderful marriage well lets say we have our ups and downs but who doesnt. I started training this man that came to work in my department, well I started flirting he ...
A. 20 May 2009: The first thing you need to do is change your mobile number. He is threatening you by saying he will tell your hubby about the text messages, your hubby already knows you had an affair and if these messages were sent during the affair [which they ... (read in full...)
I feel like he decieved me and wasted my early youth....should I leave him?
Q. I met this guy seven years ago,and six months into the relationship I asked him when we were going to get married he said soon.The following year in 2004 I asked him again and he said soon.In 2006 we had a break and we got back together in 2007,that ...
A. 20 May 2009: Sweetie, basically this guy is wasting your time. He seems to have no intention of ever getting married. Why would you want to tie him into a contract for marriage when already there are problems within your relationship?? No you will not be able ... (read in full...)
Is there life after a marriage breakdown?
Q. OK, it's over. If you read any of my previous questions you can chart the decay and destruction of my marriage, it's all there. We're now going to seperate. her choice, not mine. She says she needs to "find herself" and decide what to do with her ...
A. 8 May 2009: Sweetie, what worries me is that she wants her 'space' but she has also said that if things dont work out, she wants to come back.
So basically, she wants to party with the boyfriend and when the novelty wears off, she wants to come back to ... (read in full...)
My future wife to be is still frequenting chat rooms and dating sites!
Q. After 3 years together and making future plans, for the third time i have found my almost wife to be is still frequenting chatrooms,registering on dating sites and texting men from these (usualy younger). From day one she has denied doing anything ...
A. 8 May 2009: Sweetie, It is time you moved on! She is not honest with you and I suspect that if you marry her you will have to put up with her being dishonest and possibly unfaithful.
Honeygirl... (read in full...)
He keeps asking me if I'm a virgin!
Q. I went out on one date with this guy, and then the next day we were talking through text messages and he asked me if I was a virgin or not. I told him I didnt feel comfortable answering that at this stage yet and he said thats ok I dont have to ...
A. 8 May 2009: As I see it, he is looking for a virgin.... and I guess that if you tell him you are one, he will put the pressure on you so that he can be your 'first'.
It is a very rude question to ask someone when you have only just met them.
Ignore ... (read in full...)
Applied to be his carer...now he is coming on very strongly!
Q. Hi Aunts/Uncles, This is not a problem, I just please please need your views/advise on the matter because im not sure how to react to this myself. Im a Healthcare Student studying at Uni at the moment. I have a few years yet before i graduate, b...
A. 8 May 2009: Sweetie, turn down the job because it sounds like he is using the excuse of being disabled to make you feel sorry for him and perhaps in feeling sorry for him you will have sex with him.
Surely as a Healthcare giver you learn not to become e... (read in full...)
Age difference. Great relationship. What do I do?
Q. Hi all. I am a 50 year old man, who has just had a 3 month relationship with a 27 year old woman. We hit it off straight away and have enjoyed the most fantastic three months together. We have had numerous weekends away in romantic venues and roma...
A. 7 May 2009: Sweetie, she is being selfish, how can she expect you just to revert to being there for her when she needs you. Its almost as if you will be a fall-back for when her friends are not around or when she feels like a weekend away or be spoilt by a ... (read in full...)
Am I diabetic?
Q. My mum is dibetic, and i had symtoms of diabities, dizziness,blurred vision,thirsty all the time and going to the loo alot a feel like am gonna faint all the time. so i used my mams one touch to take my blood sugar levels and it came back as just ...
A. 7 May 2009: Sweetie, no a reading so high is not normal. You need to tell your mom what your symptoms are, the dizziness, thirsty all the time, going to the loo all the time, and I suspect that you have also lot quite a lot of weight. You urgently need to go ... (read in full...)
She went back to her ex!
Q. She Went Back to Her Ex When I met Dee, she had been out of an abusive relationship for six months. Her ex is an unemployed alcoholic who used to physically and mentally abuse her. She had to take out a court injunction and seek Police help to prote...
A. 7 May 2009: Sweetie, you need to cut ties with her because she is going to go between you and her ex as long as you let her. Unfortunately, its a vicious circle and you will be very hurt in the process.
The fact that she goes back to the ex and when things g... (read in full...)
Am I diabetic?
Q. My mum is dibetic, and i had symtoms of diabities, dizziness,blurred vision,thirsty all the time and going to the loo alot a feel like am gonna faint all the time. so i used my mams one touch to take my blood sugar levels and it came back as just ...
A. 7 May 2009: Sweetie, your blood sugar reading should be around 4.5 however I would suggest that you go to your doctor right away for a check up. My son is diabetic and he had similar symptoms to you.
Mail me if you want to chat further.
Honeygirl... (read in full...)
His story doesn't add up... is he lying to me?
Q. I have been married for close to 30 years and after a strange happening my husband told me he needs space and doesn't love me any more. Last week he told me he was going to a men's bible study group then came home and said he saw a stabbing and put ...
A. 6 May 2009: Sweetie, sounds like your hubby has gone and found himself another woman!
Give him his space, then either wait for him to decide or give him an ultimatum. ... (read in full...)
I get erections all the time but they aren't as hard as they used to be which is a bother, help?
Q. Hi Ive been with my partner about a year now, things are generally good, apart from in the bedroom. This weekend for the second time in a few months i wasnt able to get hard enough for sex with her on top, i do find her attractive but- when sh...
A. 5 May 2009: You dont say whether you have been to your doctor to find out if you are not suffering from something medically wrong.
It sounds like you have a loving and very considerate partner, so perhaps it would help to discuss your problem with her, so ... (read in full...)
My fiance won't let me see his email! Is this childish?
Q. My fiance refuses to let me see his email. He signs on under his own account on my computer. He says it is something that is "just his" and won't give me the password. We are both in our 40's. I think this is childish...or he's hiding something. The ...
A. 5 May 2009: So you already have trust issues in your relationship... what will happen when you finally get married? They wont just go away! There should be no secrets between a couple and he should be free to look at your email/mobile etc just as you should ... (read in full...)
He's a year younger..should I date him?
Q. hey everyone,i am 18 years old.. i met this guy through a common friend.. he actually goes to the same school as me,but he is 1 year younger than me.. i like him,but i think he's too young.. should i go for it?? thanks in advance.....
A. 4 May 2009: He likes you, you like him... hes only 1 year younger than you.... its only an issue if you make it one!... (read in full...)
This is not some two-bit affair.....but I'm wondering if he actually loves me?
Q. Some advice please,I am in a relationship with a man who is married and I have been on and off for 30yrs,and i know a lot of you out there are going to be critical of me.but maybe some of you will understand.This man has been married for over 40yrs ...
A. 30 April 2009: No Sweetie, you are just his bit of excitement on the side... If he loved you he would leave his wife for you and clearly, that is not going to happen.
You have wasted your life wanting someone who had no intention of taking things any further.... (read in full...)
Did he just lose interest?
Q. I met a guy two weeks ago. Our first date went on for 5 hours, the second for more than 10, the third date we went for a drive and hung out, and the fourth we had dinner at his place and watched movies. We gradually got closer physically and the ...
A. 30 April 2009: It has only been a day so relax, maybe he has been under a lot of pressure or perhaps he mobile is not working.. it did sound like he was keen on you though...... (read in full...)
Thinking of having a three-some!
Q. me and my boyfriend are thinking of having a three-some. he of course is the 1 with the idea and im half there for it. i do want to experience it but of course there are reasons that put me off it a bit. i know we need to set boundaries, but does...
A. 30 April 2009: If you value your relationship do not go down this road. No matter how 'strong' you think your relationship is, this will damage it if not destroy it completely. If a 3-some is a fantasy well then keep it a fantasy. ... (read in full...)
Is he being my friend or playing mind games with me?
Q. A guy I work with is married and we are friends. I gave him the cold shoulder to adjust my self after an hurtful 'emotional affair', we did nothing wrong as he would stress to me. during a abreif make up session he said we are cut from the same ...
A. 30 April 2009: This man is manipulating you and before you realise it you will be in full blown physical affair with him - because that is what he is working towards. He also sounds like he could be a bit of a control freak, so I would be very wary around him. ... (read in full...)
My friends are always coming to me with their problems!
Q. Hi all, everyone who I know is used to tell me everytime about their problems. I meet my friend and he/she only complains. Well , I don't mind it. I even like to listen to them and help them to feel better. But the problem is if I have a problem ...
A. 30 April 2009: Your friends obviously value you listening to their problems, but try not get bogged down by some peoples negativity. Like when they find a willing ear all they can do is complain... it can get a bit much. So if you feel someone is taking ... (read in full...)
How do I show this married man I'm over the affair?
Q. I mistakenly had an affair with a colleague that lasted half a year. We became extremely close but I ended things with him because I wanted more and knew it would be an emotional dead end and the whole act was beating me up inside. Now this man a...
A. 29 April 2009: Sweetie, start showing this man that you dont care for him anymore by moving on with your life. You need to either transfer to another section or find another job. If that is not an option, then make sure that your husband is encouraged to visit ... (read in full...)
Angry boyfriend!
Q. Hi Guys Please some advice as not sure If i am over reacting here!! Well my boyfriend obviously can be lovely very sweet etc always complimenting me. But he gets angry and irritated by the slightest things, if he calls and I miss his call he will ...
A. 29 April 2009: Your boyfriend is using all his ability to control you, he wants you to do exactly as he says. I dont like the fact that he swears at you, another worrying fact is the physically punching/hitting - ok, so hes not hitting you, but I dont think that ... (read in full...)
Lied to him about smoking and now he doesn't trust me!
Q. when I met my boyfriend we were both smoking until I fell pregnant and decided to stop for my babies sake. a year ago my Mom passed away and the stress made me start again, I have have been smoking for a year now, lied to my boyfriend that I have ...
A. 29 April 2009: Sweetie, fine, so you lied about smoking - are you telling me that he couldnt smell it on your breath or on your clothing???? I suspect that he knew all about your smoking but is using it as an excuse to physically abuse you and to question you ... (read in full...)
How do I rebuild trust in my partner?
Q. How do I rebuild trust in my partner? He was unfaithful to me in the early stages of the relationship with his ex, I was devastated when I found out but thought the relationship was worth saving and so we worked through this. In a previous ...
A. 29 April 2009: Dont hesitate, drag your man off to a relationship counsellor!! Both of you need to work at this relationship, you - overcoming your insecurities and him - helping you to trust him again. If he sees a counsellor as a 'waste of time' - you must ... (read in full...)
Is he just a two-timing lowlife??
Q. I met this guy a while back. He lives in a different state, one that is right next to mine. Since we cant see each other all the time since he went back home, we talk on the phone and on the computer. My problem is I have trust issues! I dont think ...
A. 29 April 2009: Well, considering you have trust issues and have 'proven' that he cannot be trusted, stop making contact with him and move on with your life. ... (read in full...)
My sister is being played -- how do I help her?
Q. Ok this is not about me its my adopted sister she is 30 years old and is in a long distance relationship. The guy is 26 and is a truck driver. They have been together for 4 months and he proposed to her they have only seen each other twice since ...
A. 29 April 2009: You cannot make her see what he is like, she is going to have to come to that realisation herself. Sometimes it is easier to believe what we want to believe, it is easier than facing the reality of the situation.... (read in full...)
I let the relationship get physical without commitment, now I want to back off from sex with him
Q. Theres this guy ive been seeing for umm maybe 4 months or so.We started having a sexual relationship after a few dates.I know,dumb on my part.He seemed interested in more than sex,and still does seem to be.Sometimes we just go out and do things ...
A. 29 April 2009: Tell him that you want more than a FWB relationship, he sounds like hes just in for the occassional company and sex. So tell him that since you are not in a committed relationship with him, you will no longer be having sex with him. Be strong and ... (read in full...)
Was I too nice?
Q. I met a wonderful girl on the internet, and after only sending eachother a couple of e-mails, she gave me her mobile number. We started texting eachother frequently and we got on great, then when we spoke on the phone and things got even better. We ...
A. 28 April 2009: Sweetie, doesnt sound like you did anything wrong, it sounds like she doesnt know what she wants. Personally, I dont think you should waste your energy on her!... (read in full...)
He's just talking the "tall talk" isn't he?
Q. I do not get this situation someone give me some advice its driving me mad! I was with my boyfriend two years on/off we broke up mainly cos he cant give me the commitment dont live in the same town he put his mates first is selfish and he dont ...
A. 24 April 2009: This man is not worth it - he obviously thinks that just cos you had sex and it was great that there is nothing wrong - that he can continue to treat you like he treated you before. This is not good enough you need to send him on his way cos he ... (read in full...)
Alone too long...
Q. I am a middle aged man who has let his sexual life become none existent. It has been ten years since I even considered getting close to someone. How long is too long without any personal physical contact or a relationship?...
A. 24 April 2009: How long is a piece of string?? Nobody can answer your question as each individual has different needs and wants. Some people are happily celibate for their whole lives, while others crave physical attention all the time. Perhaps you just have ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this guy?
Q. i met a guy... we lived in same apartment... first... he acted very very nice to me...i have never been treated that nice before... we became friends... he talked to me everyday... it was fun. but things went out of control... he started making me ...
A. 24 April 2009: Sweetie, this guy is a user and abuser. Stay away from him, dont contact him and ignore him when he tries to contact you. You dont need his nonsense in your life!... (read in full...)
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