Help! Where did it all go wrong?
Q. I am in love with the sweetest kindest man. He knows I am smitten with him. We sms each other ever other day. I see him at my work as he does consulting for us for the last year. He is 2 years younger then I (42) am. He is obese (150kg) and I am ...
A. 8 December 2009: Hun, so pleased to hear that things are progressing. It does sound like he is really keen on you but prior committments seem to be in the way... for the moment!!
Your reply was perfect!!
Keep us updated... (read in full...)
We got back together, but now my wife is acting the same way she did when we broke up
Q. Hello to everyone. I am thinking I will get the best answer from a woman, but will take advice from anyone. My situation is... About ten months ago my wife told me that she was completely unhappy and didn't want to be married anymore. I am ...
A. 8 December 2009: Hun, drag her off to marriage counselling - she obviously doesnt know what she wants and is easily influenced by her friend. If after marriage counselling she still cannot make up her mind, then go ahead and file for divorce... I suspect this ... (read in full...)
Why will my girlfriend not tell me her secret?
Q. There's a girl who told me she has a secret that makes her cry every time she thinks about it. she wont tell me at all and we're going out. She's dropped a couple hints here and there but I'm confused about the whole thing.... I think she is being ...
A. 7 December 2009: Sometimes it is very hard to open up and tell somebody something especially if you feel that you are at fault.. maybe she feels she is guilty of something, this is why she finds it hard to tell you everything.
Be her friend and confidant and alwa... (read in full...)
Does anyone feel my husband can be trusted?
Q. I have been married for a year and I just had my first child with my husband. 2 months after my son was born I found out my husband was sending text messages to other women. He says he never cheated or even texted them back (which I know is a lie ...
A. 7 December 2009: Hun, go with your gut feelings.. watch and wait and he will make a mistake again... then give him an ultimatum either his marriage or his sms buddy!!
He might only be chatting to them now, but who knows where this might lead. You do not deserve ... (read in full...)
Help! Where did it all go wrong?
Q. I am in love with the sweetest kindest man. He knows I am smitten with him. We sms each other ever other day. I see him at my work as he does consulting for us for the last year. He is 2 years younger then I (42) am. He is obese (150kg) and I am ...
A. 4 December 2009: Hun, why dont you ask him to join you for a cup of coffee, then have a heart-to-heart chat with him... ask him what you have done to him that he is so distant...
let me know what happens!
Honeygirl... (read in full...)
My fiance is convinced I'm cheating!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, My fiance says that the reason why he is being so mean, acting out with so much animosity towards me is plainly because his mother is deceased (about 1 or 1 1/2 years ago). He constantly assumes that I have a dude coming over...
A. 4 December 2009: Hun, why on earth would you want to marry a man like this and spend the rest of your married life being treated badly because he has low self esteem and no trust in you???
Take him off to relationship counselling and if that doesnt help sort out... (read in full...)
My sister went through my underwear
Q. i caught my sister going through my underwear shes 17 and I'm 14 and i don't know what i should do. I didn't ask her what she was doing i just walked back upstairs and pretended like everything was okay but its not. What should i do?...
A. 4 December 2009: Ask her why she was going through your underwear.. maybe she was looking for some of hers which might have been put accidentally into your closet!!... (read in full...)
Is this what a normal relationship is like?
Q. Hi, I have been in love with my BF about 2 years +, I feel my relationship is not normal. He is a White guy and he is a Boss of one factory in asian (Switzerland), I am Asian girl (Chinese), he always told me their culture in Switzerland is d...
A. 3 December 2009: Hun, this man is using you!! Couples do sometimes share the costs of meals etc and care about whether each other has money but this guy has some odd ideas.
He expects you to pay for the hotel, food, condoms and still drive him around?? No that ... (read in full...)
Blood drops in my urine, what could this be?
Q. hi this morning i had blood drops in my urine after 3 to 4 drops the urine went clear this happened the whole day i went 8 to 10 time to urine each and every time what could be the reason.please help i am afraid.i havent masturbated for ...
A. 3 December 2009: Go off to the dr - sounds like a urinary tract infection and will not get better on its own... you need to find out why you have this infection, could be as a result of kidney stones... drink lots of water to help relieve the burning sensation but ... (read in full...)
Should I go with my husband to view his dead friend?
Q. My hubby's friend died and his viewing is tonight. He hasn't asked me directly to go with him, but when I ask him if he wants me to go, he says "I dont care, you can go if you want. What should I do?...
A. 3 December 2009: Hun, you should go... being a man he doesnt want to show that hes hurting and needs someone to lean on..
He will appreciate you being there!! Gently ask him where and what time so that you can get ready to go with him.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Help! Where did it all go wrong?
Q. I am in love with the sweetest kindest man. He knows I am smitten with him. We sms each other ever other day. I see him at my work as he does consulting for us for the last year. He is 2 years younger then I (42) am. He is obese (150kg) and I am ...
A. 2 December 2009: Oh hun, give him a little bit of space, maybe he does have some security things to sort out... he sounds sweet!!
If he continues to be distant with you, then speak to him and ask him whats wrong. Maybe he feels insecure about his weight and cann... (read in full...)
Why am I overreacting so much about all of this?
Q. okayyy, i've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. we get on amazing but his ex issues seriously bother me. she tried breaking us up until she got a bf of her own a couple of months ago, but im still majorly iunsecure. Everything was great until i ...
A. 2 December 2009: Hun, this guy has an ex... so you are just going to have to come to terms with the fact that there was another woman before you...
Sounds like he is over his ex, he even asked you to throw away old valentine cards from her, and honestly, he proba... (read in full...)
I'm getting married and I'm very sad. Why am I feeling like this? Red flag???
Q. I'm getting married. But i'm very sad. I don't know why. I'm anxious and very scared about marrying this man. I love him, but i am scared that im making a mistake. I feel alone for some reason. We went to get our Marriage License the other day ...
A. 2 December 2009: Hun, sounds like this is not a match made in heaven!! Why ARE you getting married??
I suggest that since you are unsure you put a stop to the process until you are 100% sure of what you are doing.
Sounds like your bf is feeling like you... (read in full...)
I am totally in love with a man who will not love me back.
Q. There's this guy I cannot get over. He is amazing and charismatic and I just can't get him out of my mind. Sometimes I hate his guts and other times I swear that he's going to be mine. It's been more than a year now and I'm stuck, I really don't ...
A. 2 December 2009: Why do you say he will not love you back??
More info please!... (read in full...)
I don't know why my husband doesn't care for me... even when I love him so much...
Q. I dont know why my husband doesnt care for me. Even when I love him so much.. He doesnt want to help me. He doesnt see my love either. Some times i Feel he is too tied up with his work.. And thats the reason a NO from him for everything.. But Even ...
A. 2 December 2009: Oh hun, you need to sit your man down and tell him exactly how you feel and that as a couple you want to go to counselling to sort it out. If he shows no interest in going to counselling with you, then sorry to say, you need to pack you bags and ... (read in full...)
Should I keep chasing this girl?
Q. Hi everyone :) I like a girl in my workplace, who is 8 years older than me. One day, in a conversation, she said she can't accept a guy younger than her as bf. Reason, girl gets old faster than guys do. Guess she knows I like her lol. Since sh...
A. 2 December 2009: Oh hun, I think this lady just went out with you to be kind.... okay so she brought along a friend... and I am supposing the friend told her that you are probably not what she needs in her life...
Smile... and walk away!!! Be friendly towards ... (read in full...)
Ex troubles!
Q. Hey, I am in a good relationship with a boy. I have recently spilt with one of his friends, before I started seeing him. I love my boyfriend and am really happy, but my ex is ignoring me and I just want to be friends with him. He is not only ig...
A. 2 December 2009: Oh Dear! You are really stuck in the middle!! I think the best you can do is just ignore the ex, as he sounds very childish and he is probably being nasty because he was dumped by you!
You dont say what the ex is saying about you...
... (read in full...)
He says he won't contact me again. Is this normal?
Q. Hi i have a question. I met this man we started dating for 7 days everything was good then suddenly i was at work he tried to call me i could not answer, He sent me an e-mail saying he tried to talk to me but i refused so he will not contact me a...
A. 1 December 2009: Oh boy.... this guy sounds like he is really odd.... immature and clingy... expecting you to jump as soon as he calls....
Definitely run from this one... as Agony Aunt marieclaire says...hes totally psycho!!... (read in full...)
Wrong makeup! How do I handle this buying situation?
Q. Hi,this isnt a relationship question but i desperatly need some advice. 2 months ago my lady who does my wax and facials etc held a make-up party where we could test the items and then purchase etc... I was after some foundation and she found me...
A. 1 December 2009: Oh dear.... it is very hard to choose the right colour foundation and it is preferable to get a sample to try out for a couple of days before making a committment...
In all fairness, she is not obliged to take the foundation back as you made you... (read in full...)
Why does he keep disappearing on me? Is there something he's hiding?
Q. I met someone online a couple of months back and was surprised to find that we clicked almost instantly. From our very first conversation, we were chatting daily for hours. A couple of days later, he shared that he had broken up with a long-term ...
A. 30 November 2009: Sounds like this was a married man just out to get his thrill.... He has probably found some other woman to chat to....
... (read in full...)
I am torn between my wife and my lover
Q. Should I leave after 13 years? I have a 4 year old and a 3 month. I am a 32 year old male I've been with my current girl friend for 13 years we never married. I will refer to her as my wife. I have had my lover for 3 years. off for 1 and on for a...
A. 30 November 2009: What is more important in your life? Your wife or your lover? You dont seem to be able to decide... so here goes... your lover is everything you could desire - she cleans the house, is hot in bed etc... your wife doesnt do such a great job and is ... (read in full...)
No gift from BF on birthday....?
Q. I have been with my BF for three years. He has always been really romantic and thoughtful in the area of giving gifts on special days. However, our 3 yr anniversary passed about 6 wks ago and he did not get me a gift. A card, which was nice, but ...
A. 19 November 2009: Mmmm.... this sounds like more than just a gripe about a birthday present...
Your bf is obviously feeling like you dont love him, you havent been intimate for ages, hes put on a lot of weigh, so hes probably feeling really down about his self est... (read in full...)
New girlfriend vs daughter from ex wife
Q. I've been divorced for over 2 years now. I've got a 4yr old daughter that lives with mom. I see her on Mondays and have her every second weekend, holiday etc. The divorce was easy, friendly and we're still friendly. I've been dating the girl of ...
A. 19 November 2009: Hun, your gf needs to come to terms with the fact that she is not your first..... It sounds that she is a bit immature and lacking in self-esteem.
Everyone has a past even her... just as I am sure that you were not her first boyfriend or lover...... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to quit my job and let him support me?
Q. my boyfriend and i been dating for 3 years. we been through so many break-ups. he is a very jealous person. he can be controlling also. he is a great person when he wants to be. there's one problem though. i met him at my place of employment. im a ...
A. 18 November 2009: Hun, do not give up your job, by him giving you an ultimatum he is forcing you into a position where he can control you.
You have said that your relationship has endured many breakups and that he is jealous... red flags here....
Why would you... (read in full...)
What should I choose, earth shattering sex or the great looking guy who is not so good in bed?
Q. Which one should I choose earth shattering great sex you know the kind that brings a tear to your eye and make you pull out the hairs on your head and ok looks or do i choose that guy when he walks in the room everyone creams their pants. You know ...
A. 17 November 2009: Oh.. no question about it.. definitely the sex..
Being with mr gorgeous is not fun... you would spend your time wondering if he was being a bit more than just friendly to all those women who will be throwing themselves at him....... (read in full...)
Guys only - circumcision advice needed!
Q. ok this is a strictly GUYS ONLY question, so please i suggest that girls, dont read this. i developed a urinary tract infection, so my doc said that it is best if i get a circumcision done, as it will prevent further infections.so th...
A. 17 November 2009: Hun... sorry got to have a say here... I have to say that sometimes the drs are very quick to circumsize when all that is needed is some education on how to keep the penis nice and clean.
It is a drastic move to have a circumcision at your age... (read in full...)
Sad I'm not his first love...
Q. Hey. :( I'm in a relationship, and in love for the first time. However, I'm jealous of my partner. Who had been in relationships, and in love before. He's my first, but I'm not his. And it just bugs me, and I feel like I'll never be as impor...
A. 17 November 2009: Hun, whether you were with this special guy or any other guy for that matter - you would probably not be the first love...
However.... this guy is now with you and not with them.... is that not more important that wasting your precious time wor... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to marry someone who already has a child, can I ever be sure if this relationship is serious?
Q. hi i dont know if u can answer my question. im in love with this guy i really do love him so much, my problem is i have a child and he dont have any and he once told me that he dont want to marry a person who have a child, though it was hard to ...
A. 17 November 2009: Sorry hun, time to show this man the door - he has no commitment to you, you are his secret...
If a man loves a woman he will accept her and her child/children.... so rather move on with your life...... (read in full...)
Why do I want to see him have sex with another woman?
Q. I moved out a month ago because my boyfriend felt caged in and wanted out frankly so did I. He wants to have sex with other women and wants me to be tolerant. I do not believe that he can or wants to establish boundaries with these women that would ...
A. 17 November 2009: What your boyfriend wants is an open marriage/relationship - so that he can have your blessing to sleep with any woman he chooses...
You both have parted ways, which shows that there are problems in the relationship - yet you want to try agai... (read in full...)
Why lead me on if nothing is to happen? Or does he want something to happen despite having a girlfriend?
Q. I started a new job a month ago. Working with a nice guy, but he's giving mixed signals to me (I think). He has a girlfriend and they've been together for 2 years but he flirts with me. He's sent messages/emails saying 'I love you', always...
A. 17 November 2009: This guy is not worth knowing - he is looking for a bit of excitement at work.... and if you decide to sleep with him, I am sure the whole office will be told the gory details of how good/bad you were in the sack!!
... (read in full...)
Do I believe that he has learnt his lesson? Or should I walk away?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for a year but a few days ago two girls came to me and told me they had been sleeping with him. i truely love him and i dont doubt how he feels for me but i just cant believe he has done this to me. we had been arguing ...
A. 17 November 2009: Hun, he has admitted to cheating and is not going to change... he uses the excuse of when you fight he goes off and sleeps with someone..... shows lack of commitment and respect for you.
Do you really want to go through this in your relation... (read in full...)
Which guy do I choose, the new guy or the one I have history with?
Q. ive bin seein this guy for 4 months he split up with his girlfriend the same night i split with my boyfriend an we became quite close and got together however hes got 2 children and his ex announced she was 3 months pregnant just after we got ...
A. 17 November 2009: You were on the rebound when you met your ex - he has issues with his ex and a history with her... chances are that he will go back to her...
As for the new guy... well if you like him, give him a chance... but forget about the ex!!... (read in full...)
Thinking of getting back with my ex but he frequently doesn't answer my calls!
Q. my ex and i might get back...we have been talking a little over 2 months. We will probably be meeting within the next few weeks..the thing that bothers me is its been about 5 or 6 times when it will be my turn to call and i do and there is no answer ...
A. 17 November 2009: Sorry Hun, but you dont sound like you are on the top of your ex's list of important people!!!
Give him his space, stop contacting him and let him do the chasing... if he really wants to get back with you he will make the effort.... (read in full...)
He doesn't like using condoms and says if I get pregnant, so be it!
Q. Hi All, Im 19 and have a 23 year old BF, I love him very much and he loves me too. The problem is he doesnt like using condoms, Im not on any form of birth control and I dont want use any, except condoms as I feel more safe. I really DONT want a ...
A. 13 November 2009: Hun, in all fairness... it is your body you tell him what you want - and as you well know, our country is riddled with HIV and STI's... so no condom means no sex!!
He is trying to force you into doing what he wants and surely if he loved you he w... (read in full...)
How do I encourage him to show a greater interest in me, without scaring him away?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm have just started a new relationship with a man who is going through a divorce. He is still young and has no children - he was only married for a few years before he realized it wasn't working - he has been separated for ne...
A. 12 November 2009: This man obviously has a lot on his mind and all he wants from you is sex and physical company.. hes not asking questions because he probably doesnt want the relationship to become anything special until he has had time to sort out his life.
... (read in full...)
Could one little white lie ruin my relationship?
Q. Me and my man have been together since may this year and i feel like he does not trust me. For example, yesterday i had to work and had only two dollars to get me to work and no money to get home. I called a couple of my friends to pick me up but ...
A. 12 November 2009: Well your first call should have been to your bf to ask for help in getting home... now he finds that you have rather called on your ex for help...
I can understand that he is angry with you, but you are going to have to be very honest and open... (read in full...)
Are my Irregular periods normal?
Q. I am 13 years old and started my period in May 2009. I had it for about a week and then didn't have my next period until September and then just recently started at the end of October and i'm still on it now so, for about two weeks ......it is ...
A. 12 November 2009: Hun, usually it takes a while before the hormones in our bodies start behaving themselves, thats why you are having irregular periods, however, a cause for concern is the fact that you have been on your period for nearly 2 weeks...
You need to ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to use vaginal cream after two weeks of abortion?
Q. Is it safe to use vaginal cream after two weeks of abortion?...
A. 10 November 2009: Need more info on this one... what is the cream for??... (read in full...)
He cheated on me all through our seven years! And he doesn't feel guilty! What the?!?!?
Q. Hi Aunts/Uncles. I discovered my long term partner had been cheating on me all through our relationship (7years). I turned to all of you for advice. Which you gave me and I greatfully took. The problem now is, he says he didn't feel guilty wh...
A. 10 November 2009: Hun, its time to walk away from this relationship. The fact that he shows no remorse for what he has done should be a sign to you that he will continue to cheat regardless. By staying with him you will condone and accept his behaviour and un... (read in full...)
He cheated on me all through our seven years! And he doesn't feel guilty! What the?!?!?
Q. Hi Aunts/Uncles. I discovered my long term partner had been cheating on me all through our relationship (7years). I turned to all of you for advice. Which you gave me and I greatfully took. The problem now is, he says he didn't feel guilty wh...
A. 10 November 2009: Awesome advice Baby Duck!!! ... (read in full...)
My ex and I are still friends and have sex, he is not sure he wants to get back together, what should I do
Q. my exs and i broke up..we are still friends and he tells me that he misses me alot and thinks about us and we still have sex. but hes not sure if he wants to get back with me. what should i do? ...
A. 10 November 2009: Hun, stop the sex... you are now a friend with benefits... I think that when he thinks about you its in the context of sex not as a partner....
You need to take control of the situation, no sex unless he makes up his mind... unless of course y... (read in full...)
Should I get a part time lover to avoid demanding sex and attention from boyfriend all the time?
Q. I have been dating a guy for about six months now. He is everything i have ever dreamt of, loving, caring romantic, sensitive, except: 1. He rarely has time for me. We live 5 minutes drive apart, we are always free after 4pm but only meet about on...
A. 6 November 2009: Why a part time lover?? You need a new boyfriend!! I am in total agreement with the other Agony Aunts!!... (read in full...)
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