A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:After 3 years together and making future plans, for the third time i have found my almost wife to be is still frequenting chatrooms,registering on dating sites and texting men from these (usualy younger). From day one she has denied doing anything wrong and calls me paranoid. Her behavior with me has been very possesive and jealous which i find strange. I asked a friend to contact he under a different description and yes its her alright. She was sexualy explicit and sent pictures of her parts. Any mention and i get no answers. Usualy anger and counter accusations along with throwing up past relationships over 10 years ago. She has always called me her soul mate,says sex is good and wants us to marry. Why on earth would she risk everything then? I have no proof she has met any of them and still wondering if she has. I'm 40 she is 42. Is it time i moved on?
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female
reader, alwaysreadyandwilling +, writes (25 July 2009):
 Rings a few bells this. I have come across one or two of these women who get turned on by sending pics,so if she is one of them,accept my apology. I dont collect these pics myself i just delete them,if she was one of them it doesnt mean i didnt like so dont be offended. The ones that send them are far and few between. It paints the wrong picture because they are not all sluts and there are some virtuous women on these dating sites. These types of women should be on adult swinging sites and they put people off joining. I`m sorry you got a bad one. Why not give it a try yourself? Get your mind off that woman it will.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/what_people_lie_about/public/online_affairs.html
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Cybersex addiction and online affairs,are the most common forms of Internet addiction.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): This type of cheating happens because its easy to do and has no reflection on a relationship. It is the choice of the person. More often than not the partner has cheated in past relationships. When caught shows an angry reaction,blames partner and has a list of allegations already to throw. I would think twice and note her reaction. She has already shown signs. I cant say she doesnt love you. Unfortunately,its no guarantee as they dont think they will be caught. See it with your own eyes and they will ask if you have a witness. Your future well being is seriously in doubt here.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): She was lying to you because you had to get a mate to set her up. You got your proof. She wont change because she is in denial and that means she doesnt care how you feel about it and she would probably leave you in the end when a better screw comes along. She will then do the same to her new guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): Hun,this woman is suffering from me me me syndrome. She will cheat at opportunity and if caught she will play like she`s hard done to and feels neglected. She projects herself as the victim and probably will have you feeling guilty for being cheated on. No you dont deserve to be cheated on,but if it hasnt happened yet,i expect it will. Its up to you. If you enjoy being hurt then stay put.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): i know one things for sure,you will never find inner peace with this one. she says she would rather salvage it than run away,yet goes online dating. i would run as far away as you can,at least 200 miles. she has made her excuses and clearly blames you. not a single thought for how you feel. she refuses point blank to accept nothing less than everything on her terms.what is amazing is that she believes you deserve it for not wanting a future with her.i have no idea what she does but i wouldnt be suprised if she has done a lot more than you know about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): I dont see that anything healthy in this relationship. Against advice i would normaly give,you need to know about her past. If she has ever cheated then end it. I have seen this before and has got all her excuses written out before the act takes place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): it must b difficult to propose to someone who uses dating sites. i dont believe he has made it up. he got a friend to find out the truth and the lady attacks him and doesnt care what she does wrong,but still thinks he should stay around wot ever the cost. it would b good to b updated on this. i think he should move on and put it behind him and she can carry it to the next one she says she loves. wot other outcome could there b?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): I think what she is saying is marry me or i go on date sites. I would not let her go on date site if i was you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): This is rather old,but she has reacted exactly as you put it,clearly not caring and refusing to see anything wrong. Male anon states your`e not giving her a chance,but it appears you have given her several chances. You are not letting strangers decide your future,you are deciding. If you cant put up with her teenage behavior then fly away. Every time things don`t go her way,back to the dating sites she will go. You have proof of her picture sending. Anon male would be far less understanding in your sad situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): to all you aunt and uncles,i am worthy of any mans love and a good provider,good lover,good mother and stepmother,the needs of the children and my partner come 1st,i would do without to give to them no matter what it is,and if he thinks there is any woman out there who can connect as we have in everyway known to man would put up with his behaviour,his unthoughtfulness,his few and far between complements,his holding bck of making you feel special with words as he dont want you to feel good then i say good luck to them both, me i put up with it because no body is perfect and i love him for who he is not what he his and he is my soulmate,we can even finish off each others sentences and im not afraid to work at a relationship and will try and salvage it not run away
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): i am the woman he is talking about and i am respected for my honesty,sometimes i offend because of my honesty;im loyal to him and faithful,i spend all my time with him,even go to his works and sit with him,would i be as keen if i was unfaithful,is that the way cheaters behave i think not,i would spend 24/7 with this guy if he allowed me to and yes i love sex with him and would spend the entire day in bed with him,but unfortunately that aint possible,if ever i have any free time its with him i want to be and he knows this,and i spend my entire days doing whatever just to please him,putting in time,money and effort so dont you dare judge me as wotever i do aint enough for him,try asking him what i aint done for him the list is endless and thats because i love him with all my heart and soul
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): this is a guy who has never proposed to me sorry yes he did and when i said yes he laughed and told me to fuck off,wont even say the word future and never mentioned us even living together even as parents or lovers to our son, spends a lot of time on the computer at his home and has the internet switched on,on his phone at the same time i find that very weird?obviously does not want anyone to see what he is looking at, his facial expression say more than he does and he never voluntalry shares or comments on anything from mobile internet with me and switches it off if i get close never has it on if we snuggle up together yet sat apart its on and he gets angry and defensive if i ask him whats so interesting on his phone ,also receives call backs to his home phone and mobile from sex chat sites and then tells me they must have got the numbers from a mailing list and im expected to trust and believe him when he cant or wont trust and believe me,he is a spoilt grown up brat who wants his own way or no way,no compromise and then blames me and ignores me and his son for weeks or months no contact whatsoever ,how pathetic can a grown man be,im not perfect but he truly believes he is,also when i went to chat sites i was bored and wanted a laugh,as i find it difficult to get a babysitter so im stuck in with a son who is ADHD quite alot also i dont drive so that limits things and we was not together and never did i send pics and he has not 1 pic to substanciate the accusations and i hate my body so im not about to show it,but he believes i done wrong by him, have i?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): This could very well be a form of sexual addiction...she cannot stop on her own and will put you through hell.
There are plenty of women that are honest, faithful, loyal..go find one and put this behind you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): on reading what you have said and given the answers you have received this lady has not been given a chance,and surely she would not risk her future marriage to you by going to dating sites looking for younger men to date but have you not asked yourself why if she has have you made her feel ugly,worthless it takes two people to make a relationship work,also may i add that not all chat sites are about dating,i frequently go to chat sites and talk to men and women about motorcycles some women even push their luck and ask me for dates and camsex but it never goes any futher as these women are known as players and teasers,you obviously must love this woman yet why the hell are you allowing strangers decide your future,talk to her and let her know how much it has affected you and how you can work together to overcome this and you should also be ashamed of what you and your friend did somethings are private in a relationship have you any idea how she feels i think not communication is the key try it you may learn something
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): Her own jealousy is possibly her attempt of diverting her own shit onto you. I do not see a very nice person. She in her own world is available. I would bet you have only touched the surface and theres a lot more you havent found out yet. Tell her why youre leaving and find a better woman.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): into her 40's,in a relationship,yet behaves like she's single. she's hardly worthy of any trust. you would be a fool to believe anything she has told you. i dont think she would tolerate this sort of crap from you. she's not worth it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): Yes you do need to move on.
Shes wasting your time shes being completely insensitive and to be honest engaged or not i know i would of dumped them by now! even if shes hasnt done anything shes still emotionally cheating.
get rid soon
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): If she is determined to cheat,then she will. By the sound of things,youre in for a bumpy ride.Things dont look very good.She isnt worth wasting your life for and she certainly doesnt seem to be wasting hers.
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A
female
reader, Darcy2uk +, writes (8 May 2009):
I doubt she's able to be faithful to anyone. Its likely that this is her kind of exitement and the secrecy makes her believe she's in total control. I went in chat and 99% of men who contact are looking for sex. Have you got a cam?is the most common question. Dating sites are self explanitary. Her denial and unwillingness to sort it out shows she has no intention of fixing her habit. She has no problem decieving you and i fear she has probably done the worst already. You are on the road to hell with this woman. You dont even have to tell her why you're going,just go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): Think youv got your hands full if you stay with her. Of course you will miss her but its better than a life of insecurity. Every time you cant get in touch with her what will cross your mind? you need to run as fast as you can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): She has every intention of cheating on you,if she hasnt already. Some would say even if she hasnt met any of them,then she is still cheating. Leave and dont listen to her. She is round the twist.
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A
female
reader, Mikados are lush! +, writes (8 May 2009):
 This woman doesn't sound ready to be exclusive with you, or anyone for that matter. In her 40's and seeking reassurance from strangers on the internet? I wouldn't take a gamble on her if I were in your shoes. The odds dont look good enough.
Chat sites aren't so bad, but dating sites and sending saucy pics? Nah, she's taking the michael in my opinion. Hardly wife material.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 Sweetie, It is time you moved on! She is not honest with you and I suspect that if you marry her you will have to put up with her being dishonest and possibly unfaithful.
Honeygirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): She's untrustworthy. Forget what she tells you. There are names for women like her.
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