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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i wen to a party and kissed aguy i ddnt know...i have a boyfriend and i love him and wouldnt do anything to hurt him but it just sorta happend i didnt think to stop it.Should i tell him or keep it to myself there are 5 people that know and they are him andmy 4 friendi can tell anything to and ont be juged!they all say not to telll him except for one and he says to tell him asap!!!!HELP ~shortie~ Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): Honesty is always the best policy. How true this statement is.
Tell your BF. Be prepared for the hurt and anger and he has a right to feel these emotions. Be prepared that he may call off the relationship; a consequence for your actions/decision.
Make a promise to yourself you will not cheat be it physically, emotionally on someone you care about and align yourself with. This would include kissing, holding hands, talking for hours over the phone sharing thoughts and feelings (this is best left for Mom or Close GF's ...we like to be that for one another and we understand one another's perspective more readily than a male would be willing to do); anything that can be seen as dating.
Don't make excuses of justify when you stumble (we all do), admit-take the responsibility for your actions, be accountable for your decision, then re-commit to your promise and keep it.
Eventually this will become part of (a leant behavoiur/habit) your character.
Be a trustworthy individual.
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (26 December 2006):
 My dear, this kind of thing happens a lot with young people when they go out and the atmosphere is geared up for something like this to happen. The thing is, you say you love him, but if you LOVE him, then you wont have kissed someone else asd you would be able to control yourself and not alow something to happen with someone else. A kiss is NOT just a kiss, that is nonsense. A kiss is a very intimate thing and if the last reader says they do it all the time, then I find that disturbing. If it means nothing, then why do it? Does that makse sense. If I say I love my guy, then kiss someone else as it means nothing, what does that say about me?
My dear, as Dr Pete says, and I totally agree, are you ready for a COMMITED relationship?? xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2006): I wouldnt worry too much. Its just a kiss. Ive kissed guys when ive had some drink and it meant absolutely nothing. You probably know yourself if it meant anything or not. Though since you have a boyfriend i wouldnt make a habit of it. If your boyfriend finds out just make light of it and tell him it was just a kiss and if hes hurt just apologise sincerely and say you wont do it again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2006): i am in such a similar situation. I kissed another guy too when i was drunk and have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years. I just got to college and i pulled away of course but still you feel guilty like your not loyal to him. But as i thought about it and almost wanted to tell him i realized that i would lose so much more than i gained. I would lose his trust even though it would never happen again. If you love him and it meant nothing then forget it and learn from it. And in reality sometimes people don't need to know things. I know if he was me and i was him in this situation i wouldn't want to know.
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A
male
reader, jimbo_jones +, writes (24 December 2006):
If it's a mistake you've learned from and don't intend to repeat, I see no reason why you're boyfriend needs to know about this. If your conscience will be eating at you then go ahead and tell. Either way the fall out from this may end the relationship. Regardless of what you do , I think u can see how doing stuff like that can really make life suck for everyone involved. After it's all over, think of how you could've handled the situation better and learn from it.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (24 December 2006):
 I suggest that you tell him. Let him make his own mind up about what he wants to do. Just explain to him that it was a heat of the moment thing and you never meant it to happen. Tell him that you love him and you will never be unfaithful again.
If you dont tell him the guilt will eat away at you and will affect your relationship badly. Also, I know you said you could trust your friends but there could be a way that he would find out. That would make thing worse as he will realise that you have been lying to him and he will think that people are laughing at him behind his back. He will not only be hurt but humiliated aswell.
I say tell him now and work through it.
Good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006):
I'm so glad I didn't date when I was a teenager. =)
It's not love you feel for your boyfriend. You're just attracted to him, that's all.
There is obviously a problem with your relationship for you to end up kissing someone else e.g. - you're far too young to be in a relationship?
I'd be very, very surprised if this doesn't get back to your boyfriend. People love to gossip. Whether you tell him is up to you but the bigger question is - are you really ready and mature enough to be in a commited relationship with someone?
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