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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: What do you say when a guy says that he only wants to be friends? Yet wants to have sex? I feel like a whore! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Friends with benefits is BS. The title doesn't even make sense. Friends do not have sex. Ever.
A
female
reader, LisaTweed  +, writes (4 December 2010):
i think it sounds like you need to stop what your doing if you feel like a whore. why would you want to feel like that!
i have met a few friends with benefits online and its just fine for me. i am not a whore though and don't feel like one. i have recently come out a long and committed relationship and marriage and want no commitments at the moment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): All I have read so far is that most guys and girls once they "come" they fall asleep, dont talk or just agree to set their next love-making session.I'm in a friends with benefits relationship which started 2 weeks ago. We both agreed it was gonna be frienship and sex only. But we've been spending most of my weekends together and he's always looking forward to see me. He's invited me to parties, he calls me once in while and returns my calls when I'm feeling bad, we talk on msn alot because we like 1hr,30min away from each other. When we are having sex, he cares for me and wants me to "come" firts, that makes me feel good. We cuddle after sex, he kisses me when we say good bye when he's around his best friend.He is only having sex with me, and wants us to be faithful to each other.He's funny, friendly, outgoing and patient, he actually listens when I speak and feels what I'm feeling, he wants me to say anything that's in my mind. We had a lot of chemistry the first time we contact each other, and was through the college email, I dont know how, then we started chatting on msn, till we decided to meet each other in real life.This confuses me a little bit, becasue we agreed on something different.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): honey, you are clearly chasing after someone who is not 'feeling it' ultimately, you will get your heart broken. i did. he will never change, and the day that you hope for when he says he wants you and no one else will never come. you will waste years of your life on some one who only wants a comfort fuck when he is lonely.good luck hun.x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008): I believe not everyone is looking for love.nor is everyone looking for emotional attachments.some people consider both or each "baggage".I would not recommend having a FWB relationship withan ex. Because, there were feelings, love etc.But, I do believe if you meet someone you like, respect and enjoy being with you can have a FWB relationship. This does involve HUGE respect, and other good healthy relationship etiqutte. You can have dinner, you can see a show, take trips...whatever you normally do dating. It may be someone that lives a distance away and your not in a position to take the "steady realtionship" plunge. You may not know how long you can have that FWB relationship. So, the other person knows NOT to invest too much emotionally, because they know up front they are not in a commited relationship. JIM
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): Run as fast as you can away from him. He's a player and will only use you.
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (12 December 2006):
 If you were comfortable with this you would not be on here asking this question. Stop doing it now!!
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (12 December 2006):
 I meant to say *loser*
Sorry!
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (12 December 2006):
I'd say " you cheeky losetr, how dare you."
Seriously, he wants his cake and not only does he want to eat it, he wants cream inside and icing on top. That is very disrespectful and no FRIEND should even make such a suggestion. Take care. xXx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006):
I dont see why people are advising you to be rude to the guy. Just politely say you are not interested in the arrangement.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 Yikes! If you feel like a whore then why are spreading your legs? Friends with benefits is a crock.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): i have been friends with benefits for about a year and a half and i absolutely loved it.we had amazing sex and i didn't have to cook or wash his clothes or listen to wot a crappy day he had at work. it suited us both very well. you both need to be very comfortable with the situation for it to work. if you can handle just having sex with him then go for it but if you can't don't try and convince youself that you can.
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male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (12 December 2006):
 Let me get this right, you're good enough for him to have sex with but not good enough for him to invest himself emotionally in you!?!...
I donno!? [he says quizically]...
I suppose it is cheaper than taking you out for a dinner, having to earn your respect and trust, making the effort to find out what makes you tick or worst of all [ta-da] FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!...
Never fall for that line, this is coming from a man, he's just too cheap or clueless to find a whore!
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (12 December 2006):
 I know many people in this situation and have been there myself. The way I have usually seen it work is that the guy just wants the sexual part, yet the woman agrees to it in the hope something more meaningful will arise from it. Many women lower their guard and agree to this, only to seriously regret it.
I was in the situation once when I split from a previous ex. We both found it hard to deal with the fact that we were not together and were both unsure of our next step. She suggested just being friends with benefits, to which I jokingly agreed. I had always hoped for a reconciliation with her and one night we did sleep together. She was on top and as soon as she came, she got off me and lay down with her back to me. I now realise the value in cuddles after sex. I had never felt so humiliated (up until now anyway)before. I realised the reality of friends with benefits. If sex is ALL you want, then go for it. If you hope for a relationship to come of it, then decline the offer. Sex outside of a relationship plays with your emotions and hurts like hell.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (12 December 2006):
 Well you say to yourself....do I want to have sex with him?
If the answer is no you tell him to buzz off.
If the answer is yes....
then you get over the whore part(unless feeling kinda nasty makes it more fun) and enjoy every moment.....NOT FALLING IN LOVE.....just having physical pleasure.
It is totally up to you and your old enough to have figured out that what other people think....or tell you you should think....doesn't really make a tiddly dang in the big picture.
Practice safe sex (condom....no other choice ever)
Don't fall in love (or allow yourself to convince yourself to fall in love...sex and love are not the same thing)
Expect that YOUR pleasure will occur first...if not....don't ever bother with him again.
don't be TOOOOOOO available...your not on call.(neither is he)
Stay friends by talking openly...if you can't talk openly about sex...your not old enough to have it yet.
Oh and whores get paid....you will technically be a slut...so will HE by the way.....welcome to the club...there is always room for more fun!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): You tell him you don't want to be - better still, you WON'T be - his sex toy. Then you say "Goodbye. Call me when hell freezes over." That should give him a very clear indication as to what you think about his idea!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): I agree with the others who take a negative view about having casual sex with your so-called friends.
I have met many extremely different people in my time, but I have never come across someone who has been in a situation where they are sleeping with a friend where it hasn't ended in at least one person, usually more, getting extremely hurt. Women, especially, seem to come through experiences having their self-worth and sexual identity severely damaged. In my opinion and experiences, anyway.
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (11 December 2006):
 "Friends with benefits" is a sham. Don't reduce yourself to that. I have been approached by some female friends of mine with the same offer. I don't want to degrade myself like that. I want to be in a committed relationship. I want making love to be what its suppossed to be SPECIAL. Some other guys think I'm insane but I have a strong moral background and I won't let someone make me feel like something so special should be taken so lightly. Sorry just my view.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006):
A "whore" would be someone who has sex overridingly for reasons of monetary gain. I dont see how you qualify.
However it could still be a bad idea.
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male
reader, agu30 +, writes (11 December 2006):
I disagree I would have to say that it is a bad idea all around if he just wants your body then he is a no good dog pretty much because he just wants you for sex and nothing more sure he may say he loves you but he really does not because if he did he would want a real relationship with you thats my belif.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): That just means you all are friends who have sex friends with benefits but no emotional attachment basically yall just have sex.That dont make you a whore i had a friend like that.
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (11 December 2006):
 If you dont feel good about it, tell him to take a hike:-P well since he's brought it up, I guess it'll affect your friendship somewhat. Atleast its not your fault!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Look, if you don't want to have sex with your guy friends, then just don't do it. You're not a really 'whore' until you sleep with 50 different men in a week - exaggerated of course, but you know what I mean.
Some relationships don't have to get so deep - eg: lovers, to have a consenting sexual friendship. It works for some. For others, not so well.
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A
female
reader, bellachic385 +, writes (11 December 2006):
 Morals are huge things that get in the way for things like friends with benifits which isn't a bad thing. It could be fun but if there isn't feelings involved then it is like nothing. If he doesn't want you for you and is just being friend for the sex then he isn't worth it. Good Luck.
You deserve more.
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