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It's now a reunion weekend instead of a romantic getaway, and I'm paying for it!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2017)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid!!!!

I recently started dating this guy about three months ago,he's currently not working because he's training to be a police officer. I met him right before he went into the Academy and the things that they go through it is excruciating and unbelievable. I wanted to do something nice for him because I felt like he definitely deserves a little getaway so I actually bought tickets for us to go on a vacation. It's just a weekend getaway but the location that we're going to apparently his sister and his best friend are going to be there too. Whwre we are going was a surprise and the fact that his friend and sister will be there is a coincidence In my mind I wanted it to be more of a romantic getaway but he hasn't seen his friend or sister in years. I do feel a certain kind away about it and last night we were talking and I was acting weird. I just don't want to act weird when we are with his people. I just don't want to be upset on our trip because I know I have to share my time with other people because we don't really see each other that much to begin with. I did talk to him about it and he said he does wish that it was just me and him but he feels like he can't miss out on the opportunity seeing his sister and friend. How do I get over the fact that I bought tickets for romantic get away and now it's reunion... on my expense.

View related questions: best friend, my ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (13 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou said it was something nice for him which it will be. I get why you are stressing but try and make the most off it. Meet them one of the days and spend the rest off the time doing something together. Talk to him about it before you leave so that one day will be spent together.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2017):

If you really DID buy this trip to do something nice for HIM, then let this BE something really nice for HIM.

He would like to not miss the opportunity to see his sister and friend, so that's what part of this trip will be. If you go along and enjoy it for his sake, then you are fulfilling what you SAY you did this for.

It sounds as if you bought it for you, so you could get him alone. Nothing wrong with that, but it hasn't quite worked out that way this time.

Think how relaxed and happy you will make him, if you don't throw your toys out of the pram, but go along and enjoy it with him.

Next time he can pay and reward you :-)

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (12 April 2017):

Anonymous 123 agony auntYou've known him for three months and it's a little extravagant gifting him a trip just to make him happy. Don't get him used to nice things this early... You barely know the guy. How did he even agree to accept this gift from you?

Look, tell him that this trip will be more of a reunion than a romantic getaway for both of you so he should just go alone and maybe you'll go some other time. There's no point going and then being irritable about it. If he's a decent guy then he'll say no and ask to do something else. If not, you have your answer.

Don't lie, just tell him the truth. After all you *are* paying and he knows that. Don't deny your feelings and act like everything's fine because eventually you'll feel like an idiot when you're actually there and they're all having fun and you're the odd one out.

If anything, it's him who should be feeling bad about how things are turning out for you!

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