| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My girlfriend left, I want to fix it but she is ignoring me.
Q. My girlfriend of 12 years has just left me. For the last 4 years we've lived together in our own place after a spell living with her family, we moved in shortly after my father passed away. I really struggled to deal with my father's passing...
A. 16 April 2018: Your ex girlfriend did something that she should have done years ago.
You cannot keep making mistakes and pretend to not know you are wrong...you are not a 2 year old child. You are completely aware of right and wrong and yet you chose to keep ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a 48 year old man who lives in utter filth and doesn't know what he wants from life
Q. I've Been seeing a 48 year old man for about 5 weeks now. He is not physically attractive in anyway. I looked past all this because I am actually pursuing a serious relationship and my criteria isn't based on looks. It would help but doesn't matter. ...
A. 16 April 2018: I'm saying this in the nicest possible way, it's you who needs help more than him. There's no other explanation for your behaviour. Why on earth you'd willingly want to date and marry a man who you yourself have denigrated (and rightly so) at every ... (read in full...)
What does this married man mean when he says he finds me physically attractive?
Q. I've met this guy at work. He is married. We have a lot of things in common.He is a very private man. He doesn't talk much to anybody until I started working there. He said he likes me and enjoy being his friend. He is always careful about what he ...
A. 14 April 2018: He wants to have sex with you. He's looking to start an affair and is putting his cards and his penis on the table.
Didn't you already suspect this?... (read in full...)
I laid my cards on the table and he backed right off!
Q. I met Mark 3 months ago. We had both gotten out of 5 year relationships a year before that, and he told me that he lived with his ex during their relationship. She broke up with him because she didn't feel a spark anymore, and he was very hurt ...
A. 14 April 2018: Let him go OP. He's not into you... At all.
He sounds like an ok guy because he's not using you for sex or his visa (!) but the fact remains that he's still not over his ex and may never be. While he appreciates your concern and feelings for him,... (read in full...)
Is it okay to tolerate "triggered" disrespectful behavior when I know she doesn't mean it otherwise?
Q. I'm in a long-term relationship (about 7 years). I've accepted my girlfriend's personality, both the good and the bad. However, I'm finding it more and more difficult to tolerate the way she treats me when we disagree. It seems her "go-to" when ...
A. 13 April 2018: I'm sorry OP, I feel really bad for you. You're right, she's a mess and you've allowed yourself to get treated like dirt by her.
Writing things down is cathartic, isn't it? You see things for yourself without someone having to point out the obvi... (read in full...)
Is it okay to tolerate "triggered" disrespectful behavior when I know she doesn't mean it otherwise?
Q. I'm in a long-term relationship (about 7 years). I've accepted my girlfriend's personality, both the good and the bad. However, I'm finding it more and more difficult to tolerate the way she treats me when we disagree. It seems her "go-to" when ...
A. 12 April 2018: No one is perfect and if we look at it that way, every single person has something or the other about them that drives their partner mad. That being said, no one (theoretically, at least) has the right to be mean to their partners. And yet at some ... (read in full...)
I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?
Q. I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...
A. 10 April 2018:
Here's what could happen.
You're going to get a horrible reputation.
Probably end up with a disease because you don't know where he's been.
He'll move on with his life but you'll be stuck in yours, pining for him.
You're going to ruin... (read in full...)
Does anyone have an experience with a successful meet up with online friends/lovers?
Q. I've met this guy half year ago, I'm from the US and he's from Sweden. i was only on an educational site, and i was really into chatting with people who likes to talk about literature etc.. Until i came across this guy. We talked alot at first via ...
A. 10 April 2018: Sweetheart, you're very young and at this age when you meet someone, all of us... well at least most of us.. think we're in love and it's "pure love". You are innocent and have the best intentions and possibly the Swedish guy is also a good person. ... (read in full...)
My cousin talked me into having sex with her when we were just 12 and 13 and now I feel uncomfortable having her stay over at my place
Q. When I was 12 years old male, my 13 years old female cousin talked me into having sex with her. Over the next two years, we had sex on several occasions (maybe once every 3 months). We stopped having sex when she was about 15 years old and when I ...
A. 10 April 2018: Just a few questions here. Why did the sex stop when it did? Did you ask for it to stop or did she? What is the nature of your relationship like with her now? Do you talk? How have you managed to avoid her for almost 15 years? You said she wants to ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my co-worker?
Q. This guy at my work likes to stare and/or glance at me from afar; he seems nervous every time I come closer to him or walk past him. Afew weeks ago, I was smiling at him to try and calm his nerves down and show I am a friendly person and he seemed ...
A. 7 April 2018: Stop with the childish games please. No one in their right mind will advise you on how to get the attention of your co-worker. You're there to do a job, do just that and come back home. Not only will you end up messing up your work, you'll get a ... (read in full...)
My old nemesis might sabotage my new life
Q. I am seriously thinking of moving to a new city to start my life over. At 50, I know this won't be easy, and I want to think ahead and do as much as I possibly can to get things off on the right track. Partly this is because I have tried for 23 ...
A. 6 April 2018: As a fellow PhD holder, albeit in a different subject, I totally understand how difficult must have been for you to complete your degree. I also get what you say about the fact that the art world is not as free willed and liberal thinking as it ... (read in full...)
What is his deal? Can someone decipher his behavior?
Q. I started a new job recently, and on my second day there I crossed paths with a guy who works in the same building; I had seen him wandering around earlier that day, but later on we were walking in opposite directions down a hallway so I attempted ...
A. 4 April 2018: I think you're taking it too far for no reason. It's obvious that you want him to be interested in you that's why you've noticed every glance, every action and every twiddling thumb. It's more likely that he thinks that the new girl at work keeps ... (read in full...)
I've found the love of my life in a chatroom in Poland and I'm planning to move there to be with her
Q. Last time I post on here, I had visited an escort. I had visit an escort only once and never again. I decided to get back into dating, but I had no success. One day I joined a chatroom and I happen to meet a Polish woman who lives in Poland over a ...
A. 3 April 2018: Great! Let us know how things go! Enjoy the chocolates while they last! ... (read in full...)
I've found the love of my life in a chatroom in Poland and I'm planning to move there to be with her
Q. Last time I post on here, I had visited an escort. I had visit an escort only once and never again. I decided to get back into dating, but I had no success. One day I joined a chatroom and I happen to meet a Polish woman who lives in Poland over a ...
A. 2 April 2018:
Locust, honey, you're lonely and vulnerable but that doesn't mean you do something that you'll regret forever. Right now you think you're on cloud nine and the world is at your feet because you've found the "one" and hence you've suddenly... (read in full...)
His neediness bothers me. Should I feel guilty for blocking him?
Q. Okay so I've only known this guy for 2 months only, he is at my university. He seemed nice at first and we hang out together, but then he started to creep me out with his neediness and him being too clingy. I was nice with him and i gave him hints ...
A. 2 April 2018: You're certainly not overreacting and you need to be careful of this guy. I think you need to tell him in as many words that you're not comfortable with him and that he needs to back off. Not a pleasant conversation to have I know but you just have ... (read in full...)
Is my husband being shady, buying a gift for a coworker?
Q. My husband recently bought a gift for a female coworker. I found text messages of him asking other people what this female coworker likes. When I saw the gift, I asked him, oh who is this for and he ignored my question and started talking about ...
A. 29 March 2018: A few things definitely stand out. One, why is he asking others what she likes? Then the fact that he avoided your question and then his response that he hoped to get her something better next time. He's definitely more than friendly. How did you ... (read in full...)
I'm really into my best friend's ex
Q. Okay, so this is a very simple story. I am extremely into my best friends ex. We were really good friends while they were dating, and she brought us closer. I always found myself helping them out, and literally being to solution to their problems...
A. 28 March 2018: He says that you're not his type and that he deserves better? Either you've said it wrong and you meant to say that he says that YOU deserve better or you are just not getting the point. He couldn't be more clear when he says you're not his type and ... (read in full...)
Is it my destiny to be forgotten?
Q. Is it normal to be "invisible" to everyone? I know there are billions of us on this planet and we are all invisible unless we are famous, but that's not what I mean..! Am talking about to those who know us in life.. friends colleagues...
A. 27 March 2018:
Praises on Facebook are mostly always fake so don't take that at face value. Regarding someone praising you in real life, maybe as another aunt said, people do say good things but you just don't get to hear it.
It's not that you're being single... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...
A. 26 March 2018: Time to kick his boyfriend's ass to the curb so hard, that his ass is not worth sitting on ever again and he remembers this every single day for the rest of his sorry life. Then block all numbers from both brothers and inform them and entire family ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for wanting to blow up my marriage and the last 20 years for my first love from 30 years ago?
Q. I arrived at this site searching on line for "I'm still in love with my boyfriend from 30 years ago", (sigh). I read a really good post, similar to my issue, but in many other ways not similar. My college BF - we will call him "T" - definitely my ...
A. 25 March 2018: Life is too short to be spent unhappy. You're stuck in a bad cycle of not being able up communicate effectively with your husband and if it hasn't changed all these years, then it's not going to change now. The good thing is that there are no kids ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this drama at work?
Q. How can I deal with this drama at work? I have been at my job for a year now (big corporation) office type of environment - really Quiet I work in HR. We sit in cubicles and the people areoinf me (two male coworkers) are VERY noisy. We had a ...
A. 25 March 2018:
And why exactly do you think you should believe your colleague? He was fired for his own inadequacies and as a parting gift, he gave you a bouquet of insecurity. If they were indeed talking shit about you then why didn't he say so earlier?
OP li... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair and now I can't sleep with him
Q. MOD NOTE: two questions combined into one Hi everyone. I've been married for nearly 6 years. We have a three year old son. Last year my husband and I had some issues where I focussed too much on one my hobbies and spent less time with him. He t...
A. 23 March 2018: "I'm trying to make my marriage work but the idea of sleeping with him or anything makes me want to run away."
But OP, while I understand that you hate him, isn't sex the underlying factor, the one connection,the one thing that sets a marital ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling under pressure and trapped.
Q. Hi all, I have an issue really bugging me at the moment and beginning to stress me out. I'll give a little bit of backstory: I'm 26 years old, recently gotten together with my first ever GF and everything was going swimmingly and I was very ...
A. 21 March 2018: I understand you so well OP!!
There were times I felt claustrophobic even after marriage because I could relate to every feeling of yours! I too felt "trapped", so to speak. Trapped in a life that I hadn't signed up for. I felt that I couldn't... (read in full...)
I'm feeling under pressure and trapped.
Q. Hi all, I have an issue really bugging me at the moment and beginning to stress me out. I'll give a little bit of backstory: I'm 26 years old, recently gotten together with my first ever GF and everything was going swimmingly and I was very ...
A. 21 March 2018: I understand you so well OP!!
There were times I felt claustrophobic even after marriage because I could relate to every feeling of yours! I too felt "trapped", so to speak. Trapped in a life that I hadn't signed up for. I felt that I couldn't... (read in full...)
I'm feeling under pressure and trapped.
Q. Hi all, I have an issue really bugging me at the moment and beginning to stress me out. I'll give a little bit of backstory: I'm 26 years old, recently gotten together with my first ever GF and everything was going swimmingly and I was very ...
A. 21 March 2018: You sound like you're commitment phobic. You want the fun, the thrill of the chase, the good parts without the strings attached. I was a lot like you and my husband almost had to pin me down to marry me! But you know what, marriage was the best ... (read in full...)
The only time my girlfriend has orgasmed was with an ex boyfriend.
Q. We're together for a few months, our sex is great but she can't orgasm with me. I asked her why and she said she can't orgasm and that she had just one orgasm in life once with other guy in the past. I'm very jealous and insecure about that and d...
A. 20 March 2018: Oh dear! What a thing to say! Did she have a fight with you and was trying to hurt you? Because I don't think any sane person would make a comment like this which is guaranteed to hurt their partner, no matter how "cool" they are with their ... (read in full...)
My ex has said sorry after many years, but I want her to apologise for more!
Q. My ex apologised in a MSG many years after we broke up but all she said was sorry things were said. A lot more than things were said and I'm not an emotional person. She went out of her way to get to me on numerous occasions because I wasn't b...
A. 20 March 2018: Why is she still being able to contact you after all these years? Block her immediately!
The apology means nothing now and you should just toss it aside like you would an empty soda can. I think she's trying to bait you into talking to her so t... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if this should be ringing alarm bells.
Q. Hi everyone This isn't a serious issue, i'd just like some of your thoughts. My girlfriend asked me if she thinks it is true that if someone cheats once they will cheat again. I said I think it depends on the person. I didn't know why she wo...
A. 13 March 2018:
Well if I were you then it would be somewhere between alarm bells and perfectly fine. I would have my eyebrows raised, that's for sure. It's ok that she had a dream about him... That can't be helped... But going out of her way to get his numb... (read in full...)
Family and friends want me to present as more "girly girl."
Q. I’m a girl, I’m not really girly but I don’t dress like a guy either. I just prefer to wear normal casual clothes like a crop top a bomber and nice jeans, vs heels and dresses. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t judge people that do but they seem to judge ...
A. 13 March 2018: Be true to yourself DeJah. You are who you are.. No apologies, no regrets. Do what makes you happy, live the way you want to, don't ever change your ways just to suit others or even worse, to appear attractive to guys. Don't let anyone and I mean ... (read in full...)
What should I do with a badly behaved dog?
Q. I have a bit of a problem and just wanting advice. I have a dog but I have had for 10 years since I was 20 years old I probably been through more with the dog than anyone in my life. he's always been a bit of a problem and recently I am living in a ...
A. 10 March 2018: You have done a lot for the dog OP and I feel it's the frustration talking now. I can only imagine your predicament... You can't live with him, you can't live without him.
OP you have given 10 years of your life to this guy and he doesn't have much... (read in full...)
She says her married boyfriend will get jealous if we have sex.
Q. I met this girl, after speaking for weeks, we met for casual sex. It was great and she seemed to be enjoying it. We were probably busy for 2-3 hours. She even asked me to whip her, first time for me but she enjoyed it. She was good and was eager to ...
A. 10 March 2018: What are your expectations from her? You obviously and hopefully don't think of her as a long-term partner, do you? If sex is all that you're looking for then you can find other women who are unattached and will be willing to sleep with you. Why are ... (read in full...)
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Is this old saying true?
Q. Is it true what they say, that once a cheater, always a cheater? I mean if a wife forgave his husband for having cheated on her for a year and a half, are there chances that after 2 years he will cheat again? What are your thoughts or experiences on ...
A. 9 March 2018: Well my personal opinion is that if I caught my partner cheating then there's no way that I could forgive him and move past it. I don't know about the "once a cheater" thing but I do know that once my trust was shattered there was not a chance I ... (read in full...)
How should I reply to his text?
Q. Hi Thank you for reading. I dated a guy for 7 months last year. He dumped me in late December, saying that he felt that our relationship wasn’t moving forward as quickly as he wanted. He wanted me to move in with him and I didn’t feel ready...
A. 3 March 2018: Go with the first option. Ignore the text completely and don't reply. It's taken you a long time to get over him and the last thing you want is to get sucked into an emotionally draining situation again. If you reply and then he replies, it's going ... (read in full...)
Dude at work shows a lot of signs of interest but not much action!
Q. Here I am again. I've developed this ridiculous crush on someone I think is showing interest (he's a coworker - same company but not in the same department, just works on the same floor) * we always make eye contact * he gives me shy smiles ...
A. 27 February 2018: Don't make the mistake of dating a co-worker. You'll be stuck in a miserable situation if it doesn't work out, you'll get a terrible reputation at work when word spreads and your credibility will suffer. Keep things strictly professional at the ... (read in full...)
I feel worse after breaking up with my married lover
Q. I finally pulled the plug and broke up with my married lover but now i feel worse. I am having an extremely hard time getting over it. It was an ugly break up and even though he begged to remain friends and promised to be the man i met in the beg...
A. 23 February 2018:
Are you really that naive? This man couldn't stay true to his wife, the woman he took his vows with. How on earth did you think he would be faithful to you, his mistress?
You need to get over your feelings and there's no magic way of doing tha... (read in full...)
I’m pregnant and constantly worrying that he’s still in love with an ex!
Q. Sooo, I'll try to explain all this as well as I can. I'm sorry if It all seems a bit confusing. It's quite a long story. I have a boyfriend of nearly 3 months. I have known him for almost 4 years and am 5 months pregnant with his baby. The first ...
A. 22 February 2018:
I don't think anyone could explain it better than uncle Wiseowle...His answer is spot on. All I can add without repeating what he's said is that don't depend emotionally on this guy for any kind of support. Yes it takes two people to make a baby... (read in full...)
I want to start a business but struggle with anxiety and depression.
Q. Im writing this today because I am turning 25 and I'm a failure. I so badly want to be a productive and sensible adult but I'm just a big child. I've failed in so many areas of my life it's laughable. I have no career, no super, I finally managed to ...
A. 16 February 2018:
Well what are your interests? What do you know about starting a business? Have you done your research? Or are you just thinking that you'll dive into it and make things up as you go along? Starting a business or a new venture needs a lot of plan... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't understand how important my sister is to me.
Q. My husband recently lost his job. I told my sister immediately. My husband is now angry at me and said I should have asked if he wants me to make it public. I told him he cannot control me and that I share everything with my sister and also that my ...
A. 16 February 2018: I also wanted to add that a marriage is about two people OP. Let some things stay between the two of you. If you know that there are issues which he doesn't want others to know about then respect his wishes. That's the least that a partner can ask ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't understand how important my sister is to me.
Q. My husband recently lost his job. I told my sister immediately. My husband is now angry at me and said I should have asked if he wants me to make it public. I told him he cannot control me and that I share everything with my sister and also that my ...
A. 16 February 2018: More than breaking his trust, you broke his ego. He's already down and out after losing his job and understandably doesn't want others to know lest they think badly of him. His reactions are normal OP, he's feeling let-down because you immediately ... (read in full...)
I think he really likes me, so how do I help him get his feelings back?
Q. Hey. So I’m 19. There’s this guy who is 17 and has been a very close friend since the last 7-8 months. He’s like a best friend now. We bonded real well, people actually shipped us. However, there were no feelings back then. Last Saturday, he asked...
A. 14 February 2018: I've seen that it's the common friends who are responsible for a lot of wrong ideas. These people are probably having a good laugh behind your back as well.
Why on earth will a guy tell you that he doesn't like you if he really does? You have to ... (read in full...)
I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!
Q. Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...
A. 8 February 2018: He didn't love you. He lied to you. This has nothing to do with you, it's not a reflection of you in any way, you didn't do anything wrong and you couldn't have done anything better. He is a cheat, a liar and an absolute swine and I think you should ... (read in full...)
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