| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I'm crushing on my ex's brother, his partner is my friend
Q. I no this might sound really bad. But I am so confused right now!! I split with my ex over 3 years ago we have a child together. I have stayed close with his brother and with The brothers current partner. Me and the brother have always been flirty ...
A. 21 December 2017: Get a grip on yourself. You're not a horny teenager. You have a child and that too with this man's brother. What good can possibly come off this? Some sex? A few orgasms? Do you think this man who's so disrespectful of his own partner will care two ... (read in full...)
21 year old currently lost in the world, any help?
Q. Hello all, Lately, I have grown incredibly depressed. It seems like last year, I had everything I could of wanted at the time. I had a boyfriend, I lived in a nice house, I had a great and fun job, I had a good relationship with my co-...
A. 21 December 2017: I fail to understand how people equate drinking alcohol with being fun and someone who doesn't drink as boring! I am a vegetarian for personal reasons, don't touch alcohol, never have, never will. I laugh when people say that smoking and drinking is ... (read in full...)
I don't think I can ever trust again...Even my family
Q. Generally, I am not open at all. Not shy either. Just prefer to keep things private and off limits. This has happened because I've lost trust so many times that I built up this barrier, and I know it's unhealthy. But that's happened because of ...
A. 20 December 2017: Your question seems to be a puzzle and we're expected to be detectives and solve the riddle!
You haven't said anything much and I wonder why. If you're asking a question then tell us clearly. How can we help you if you're this cryptic? You seem... (read in full...)
21 year old currently lost in the world, any help?
Q. Hello all, Lately, I have grown incredibly depressed. It seems like last year, I had everything I could of wanted at the time. I had a boyfriend, I lived in a nice house, I had a great and fun job, I had a good relationship with my co-...
A. 19 December 2017: Life isn't always fair. We've all been kicked in the ass when we least expected it but to get up, brush the dirt off and keep going on is the sign of strength and resilience. You can sit and pity yourself or you can take a deep breath, sit up, get a ... (read in full...)
Do I need to step out of my bubble with this outgoing guy?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles I'm not in any precarious situation but just looking for some advice on things in my relationship i've just not encountered before. About two years ago I left a long term relationship, it was wholly amicable and ende...
A. 17 December 2017: Your say you were used to minimal affection... Are you sure you're not doing the same with the new guy in the sense that you're withholding affection from him? Why don't you respond to his gifts positively? Why do you have a delayed response? Would ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance my crush likes me back?
Q. There is a guy nice guy at my church and I liked him the monent I saw him but he had a girlfriend and I back off which was a year ago and forgot about him. Me and him are in the same weekly church group but never really talked much Recently I had...
A. 16 December 2017: Your post made me smile and brought back memories of all the times I'd had a crush on someone and desperately wanted them to like me back!
Sweetie I'm sorry it's very unlikely that he likes you based on what you've described... But you already ... (read in full...)
Do I owe her an apology?
Q. Dear cupid, Guys I've done something stupid and I don't know how to make it up. I feel like I am a dirt bag for this but I feel like I was being taken advantage of and I lashed out. See I've kind of sort of been seeing this girl for the past 7 m...
A. 12 December 2017: This is a strange relationship that you share because you're barely even friends, let alone anything else. You've met 10 times in 7 months despite being in the same city so it's not even twice a month! She takes a week or two to answer your texts... ... (read in full...)
Do you find this touching odd or it’s normal?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your inputs. I’m 40 years old and just started dating 5 years after my divorce. I’m independent with a great job. I met a guy online who turned out to have some mutual friends with. He is 45, professional, ...
A. 8 December 2017: Odd.
He's going too fast, too soon.
Time to pull back here... (read in full...)
How can I get over this embarrassment?
Q. This boy I like knows I was spanked and now I can’t face seeing him ever again. Me and my brother got caught skipping class. Mom was so pissed she had us stay in our rooms all afternoon. When dad came home, my brother got to go down stairs but cus ...
A. 7 December 2017: What's the problem OP? Why are you skipping classes? Is everything ok at school? Do you have a counsellor at school who you can talk to about any problems that you might be having?
OP neither is it right to miss school nor is it right to disc... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 7 December 2017: No!! Really? She's not taking you back? After you put flowers and candy in her car, bombarded her with texts and followed her to the mall! "The way she's acting is not right..." Exactly OP!! It's not right at all. Because by now, she should have ... (read in full...)
Can I ever make this right?
Q. I'm 38 year old guy. A year back my younger brother wife became close to me and we got too closer. Initially i thought she is giving this attention just due to the respect towards an elder brother. I loved it. But finally she was treating me like ...
A. 26 November 2017: What rubbish! Stop calling her your sister and claiming that you're worried for your family's "good". Where was this feeling when your penis was inside her? You didn't just screw her, you screwed your brother as well, but in a whole different way. ... (read in full...)
Any advice on Dear Cupid burn-out?
Q. I know I'm not the most active poster here and I'm not hoping that anyone would recognize me but I'm just gonna post this here for a message and maybe some advice. I'm thinking of leaving DearCupid for some time, all this posts about cheating...
A. 23 November 2017: Sam, DC is meant to help people feel better about themselves and hopefully sort out their problems. You seem to have difficulty in differentiating between what's really yours vs something that is others'... Problems, personal life, etc. Just because ... (read in full...)
How much does having a girlfriend actually cost?
Q. So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...
A. 13 November 2017: All these years on DC and yet a question that stumps you!
OP... You can't quantify relationships in this way! You might argue that it's only practical to ask, after all there are people who calculate the cost of having a child so it's only acc... (read in full...)
Married to a distant, abusive man and I'm desperate to be touched and loved and I'm wondering about how it would be with this man!
Q. Confused! I am 33 years old, been with my husband for 12 years- married for 5 years-no children. Our marriage is not good-we have not had sex for almost a year and before that is was twice a years-continually got less and less throughout the y...
A. 7 November 2017: Thank you for posting your response OP. You are an inspiration to everyone. It goes to show that no matter how dire the situation, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. So glad that you're happy and in a loving relationship and are trying ... (read in full...)
A coworker eats smelly food right next to me!
Q. Hi everyone, this might sound like a trivial problem but it’s really bothering me. I recently started a new job and the man that sits next to me is a bodybuilder and as such eats an entire tub of cottage cheese at his desk every day at 9am. I think ...
A. 2 November 2017: When I was a student, these girls who lived next door used to eat the smelliest food and it was absolutely nauseating. I can well imagine your ordeal. However, in your case I don't think you can do much other than request the guy to please maybe ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should ask a colleague out
Q. I'm 26 and have been single for around 7--8 months now since splitting with my gf of 3 yrs. I found that break up hard and I'm unsure if I want a new relationship. However I've only been with 2 girls in my whole life and I'm desperate to "get out ...
A. 1 November 2017: Young people often get into a relationship because it just seems like the done thing. However, just because everyone else is doing it doesn't necessarily mean they're happy. You have no idea about others' lives or what goes on behind closed doors so ... (read in full...)
He wants to propose and I'm just not ready!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years. Recently, he has been hinting A LOT that he wants to proposed. He also keeps asking me to find time for him to see my mom.. I know he wants to ask her. Any girl would be super happy... and I am happy... ...
A. 31 October 2017: I have a simple question for you that I think even you need to ask yourself.
If not now then when?
... (read in full...)
I have nowhere else to live my mother and stepfather have offered me to live with them but my stepfather is a nudist and walks around naked most of the time!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 44 year old single woman (and a virgin) and have nowhere to live because of various events in the past 2 years. However I am welcome to live with my mother and step dad, who are generous and considerate generally speaking. ...
A. 29 October 2017: Hey it's their home, their choices. They're still opening their doors for you. I think you should be grateful and take it till you can get back on your own feet.
What happened in the last two years that has rendered you homeless? Do you have a j... (read in full...)
A guy keeps sending me mixed signals.
Q. Last month I met a guy, he's a friend's(F1) friend's(F2) friend.. We were a few girls and him. We had dinner and drank alcohol so we were all kinda drunk. F1 would continuously tell me that she feels like this guy is coming on to me really strongly ...
A. 28 October 2017: I have never understood this thing about playing games but one thing I've seen is that if a guy likes you then he'll make it crystal clear. You will never have to speculate or guess because the writing will be on the wall.
And so the big question... (read in full...)
I want marriage and emmigration with him. How do I approach this?
Q. I have been dating this man that I love for a year now. I do not get (on) very well with my family, nor am I adapting too well with in my country and culture. My boyfriend is English and he is working here until summer 2018 then leaving. I wan...
A. 27 October 2017: Has he asked you to marry him? Has he at least spoken of a future with you? What would you have done if he wasn't on the scene? Have you chosen to be his girlfriend because of his nationality?
It's difficult to convince him to get married ... (read in full...)
I want marriage and emmigration with him. How do I approach this?
Q. I have been dating this man that I love for a year now. I do not get (on) very well with my family, nor am I adapting too well with in my country and culture. My boyfriend is English and he is working here until summer 2018 then leaving. I wan...
A. 27 October 2017: Has he asked you to marry him? Has he at least spoken of a future with you? What would you have done if he wasn't on the scene? Have you chosen to be his girlfriend because of his nationality?
It's difficult to convince him to get married ... (read in full...)
Am I being played here, or does he really associate being my boyfriend with one day marrying me?
Q. My ex-boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me last month, we had a pretty amicable breakup (he told me that we have a good thing and it was hard because he loves me but he just doesn't see himself married to me one day and tbh I don't either since ...
A. 24 October 2017: He's using you for sex. You're his FWB without having signed up for it. ... (read in full...)
I'd like to help them save their marriage!
Q. Oh boy. I have two friends that have been married for ten years. The husband has been having an affair off and on for three years with a chick he refused to ever completely sever ties with. The wife has taken off with other guys during their splits ...
A. 24 October 2017: The only piece of advice for you is to stay out of it. It's their marriage, it's their mess to clear. Never ever try to meddle or help someone else's marriage. It *does not* work. Did they take your permission to get into affairs? Did they ask for ... (read in full...)
The relationship I am in has become exhausting
Q. So I need to preface this by saying I am not a second-chances person. Basically once someone loses my faith or trust, they usually can't get it back. That being said, I dated this guy for about a year, from September of last year to earlier ...
A. 23 October 2017: You guys sound like Carrie and Mr.Big... And everyone knows how that worked out!
Look OP, this "vulnerable", "can't open up" talk is just bullshit. He doesn't want to be with you as much as you want to be with him. He doesn't love you, he led you ... (read in full...)
My long distance love wants me to send sexy pictures of myself
Q. I've been going out with this boy for 2 months now and it's a LDR situation. I knew it was going to be hard to not spend all that time together but I felt I could handle it. Lately he's been asking me to send naughty pictures to him and it m...
A. 23 October 2017: I don't know how you can't read the obvious but Oh My God!! This guy couldn't be a bigger creep and he's playing you like nobody's business! Please don't send him nude pics, don't meet up with him alone to spend the night with him and don't have ... (read in full...)
How do I lay my cards on the table? He wants to go into the Navy but I think he's missing a good thing in us!
Q. Hi. I'm sorry for the long email - but I feel like I need to get loads of details into this to give afull picture. Here's my story: I'm a 25-year-old woman who struggles to meet guys that I'm attracted to and have a really great connection with....
A. 19 October 2017: I'm going to try and answer this as best as possible without being harsh.
OP he couldn't be more clear but he doesn't want you in his life but you are not ready to leave him and in the process coming across as a really desperate and clingy. ... (read in full...)
I think he likes another girl but I don't know how to broach the topic
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months but it's not exactly official, his family don't know and only a couple of our close friends know, it's like a need to know basis. Recently he went on holiday back to his home town with a mutu...
A. 18 October 2017: Sweetie if you feel that something is wrong then it probably is. And the sooner you sort this out the better it is...although I honestly don't know how on earth he's going to convince you. Let's say you ask him what's going on and he swears that ... (read in full...)
Is it a good sign that he told her?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I wanted to know what your opinion was on this. My new boyfriend of a month has a huge circle of friends and he's pretty well loved by people as the "nice" guy/good guy. Yesterday he told me he spoke to this girl and told her...
A. 16 October 2017: The message on its own is ok, it's a good sign. However, and I'm maybe digging too deep, but if this girl did like him in a romantic way then can she really be just friends with him now? And why would she help with his decorating? What's the need? ... (read in full...)
My friend was in town and didn't tell me
Q. A few months after a bad breakup, I reached out to my high school prom date who I'd always had a crush on. I suspected it may be mutual. We began talking and flirting regularly. He visited me once and I visited him once, as we live several hou...
A. 15 October 2017: You feel ridiculous because you put yourself out there hoping for a rebound relationship with someone you thought had a crush on you and now you feel rejected.
I know what hurts now is the rejection. The fact that he didn't get back to you when... (read in full...)
I have been helplessley in love with someone for too long, what do I do?
Q. I am in love with someone. I have known him for years now. When I fell in love with im, it was slow, and so pure. He was my first love. I love him with all of my heart. Around the time I fell for him he had a girlfriend. And that hurt my heart, b...
A. 9 October 2017: Sweetie you sound really jumbled up and confused and I feel for you because it's clear you're deeply infatuated with this young man. You say you're both in love but then if that's the case, why aren't you together? You then say that you've changed ... (read in full...)
He found the girl he dumped me for was too costly and wants me to take him back.
Q. So, this guy and I were dating for almost two years and he proposed to me in May. A few weeks later he tells me hes going on vacation with his old crush/ friend since high school there both 28. But they have been friends forever. So, he breaks off ...
A. 9 October 2017: Not only is he an ass, he's a stalker and that's what's scary. Listen stop being polite and nice to him and explain to him once and for all when you are IN A PUBLIC PLACE (cannot stress this enough) that you have nothing more to do with him and ... (read in full...)
My ex bf new gf texting me how good their relationship is
Q. I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. We've had our ups and downs but we pulled through. We also had lots of arguments. On our last argument we had I went to work, came home and he packed his things and left. My ex bf now, left a ...
A. 8 October 2017: You should celebrate the fact that you're FREE from this asshole and you actually got saved from a potential disaster. Imagine if this had happened 5 years and one child later! When they tell you how happy they are, beam at them and wish them all ... (read in full...)
I think it's degrading to give oral if it's not reciprocated and he thinks I owe it to him because I gave it to other lovers!
Q. An Oral Sex Dilemma My boyfriend and I have been discussing about oral sex for a few weeks now. We have very different opinions and want the opinion of outside individuals. I think that it is degrading to give oral when if it is not reciproca...
A. 4 October 2017: OP you are both going about it the wrong way. Why have you been discussing your past with him and the number of men that you have performed oral sex on? How is it any of his business and why should he know what you have done in the past?
I am ... (read in full...)
How to come to terms with my academic failure?
Q. So basically, I've spent the past two years working towards my masters degree as well as working full time. Up until this summer I've been doing really well (average grade 75, on track for a distinction), only to choke in my last few months and ...
A. 4 October 2017: I would like to share my experience with you OP.
I have a PhD in Sociology and there was a time I was very keen on a prestigious fellowship for the Masters level and I was really sure that I would get it. I didn't.
My world came crashing do... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps asking to meet my former best friend
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 16 months. We met through a social group in which we both joined around the same time, and that group is my main circle of friends. I do not keep in touch regularly with anyone else. I have friends whom I call ...
A. 3 October 2017: I agree, it's absolutely a nuisance. He's behaving like a petulant child throwing a tantrum. Well since he's being a baby, you have to deal with him the way you would with one. Tell him firmly that you are done with this discussion and that you see ... (read in full...)
I deserve better than to be ghosted by someone that I thought cared about me
Q. We were close friends (according to him) but our feelings for each other complicated things. He shied away from having a relationship. He told me he was scared to be a rebound, because his last relationship was a rebound and ended miserably. I was ...
A. 30 September 2017: He doesn't want anything to do with you and I think you should retain your self respect and not have anything to do with him either. You keep reaching out and he keeps dismissing you and each time that he brushes you aside, you feel worse than ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I argue constantly but I love him.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 and a half years. Things were great in the beginning but more recently we seem to argue about everything. Things are lovely when we're getting on but we seem to argue most days and he goes silent and will ...
A. 29 September 2017: I sort of understand where you're coming from because my cousin's husband is mad over football as well... So much so that I don't even think he has a very stable job and she supports him financially but anyway. My point is that, this can get very ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a new friend & he seems to care more about their relationship than ours.
Q. I've been in a relationship for five years, and cheating has never been something I was concerned about. But about six months ago my boyfriend made a new friend through a club at colleg, and they became close friends real quickly. They talk all the ...
A. 25 September 2017: He calls her for 2-3 hours? This is not normal in any way and I'm surprised you're this accepting of things. If he's not cheating then exactly what is he doing? Leading her on that's for sure! And are you telling me that it's acceptable for a person ... (read in full...)
She stopped responding, is that it?
Q. Girl I liked a lot and went on a few dates with started getting cold after I told her I liked her and the time we had been hanging out. I asked her why she was acting so different and she said, she was dealing with stuff and I couldn't help her. She ...
A. 25 September 2017: She's not hinting... She's screaming from the rooftops that she's not interested. Stop pursuing her OP. Don't contact her or initiate conversations.
How could you not understand such blatant signals?... (read in full...)
How do you cope and embrace change?
Q. How do you cope with change. More so change within the work place. I work in an office and have been here for many years . I do like my job and the company i work. Obviosly i know things change and people come and go. At the moment we have a good ...
A. 23 September 2017: You have to learn to detach yourself. You have to realise that you are there at a professional level and not let external factors influence you. It's only normal to feel the way that you are, but for the sake of being realistic, try to not be so ... (read in full...)
Is the guy I'm dating being a jerk?
Q. I started dating this guy about a month ago and we've been on four dates so far.. We haven't gone all the way yet but have done some stuff in bed, as well as the usual things like cinema etc. TBF to him he does have his good points like he pays for ...
A. 22 September 2017: I agree with aunt honesty. I don't think he's being a jerk but I do think that you and he are not a match. You seem to be nitpicking quite a bit and really trying hard to figure out the meaning behind innocuous words and actions of his.
I thi... (read in full...)
Married to a distant, abusive man and I'm desperate to be touched and loved and I'm wondering about how it would be with this man!
Q. Confused! I am 33 years old, been with my husband for 12 years- married for 5 years-no children. Our marriage is not good-we have not had sex for almost a year and before that is was twice a years-continually got less and less throughout the y...
A. 4 May 2012: An affair is NEVER a solution to any problem, it will just make things worse. I'm curious though, if your husband is all that you say and you're trapped in a loveless marriage, then why haven't you considered leaving him? Its better to be free from ... (read in full...)
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