| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!
Q. Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...
A. 8 February 2018: He didn't love you. He lied to you. This has nothing to do with you, it's not a reflection of you in any way, you didn't do anything wrong and you couldn't have done anything better. He is a cheat, a liar and an absolute swine and I think you should ... (read in full...)
Will I ever be able to get pregnant?
Q. So to start im 25 years old my question is kinda going to be all over the place so just bare with me please. So 3 years back I was in a relationship with a guy who did me wrong and gave me a std that I had no symptoms of and it was sitting in my ...
A. 7 February 2018: Sweetheart, your concerns are completely understandable but don't you think it's better if you ask your doctor these questions? I'm sure it's not as bad as you think because you can't possibly be the first person in the world in this situation. As ... (read in full...)
Could my FWB's partner's ego have kept him from admitting that he cares about me?
Q. I've been on and off friends with benefits with a guy for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him and I told him in person. he said he likes me but can't commit to me because of his family situation as his family are not speaking to him. During this ...
A. 7 February 2018: How could you even get the ego angle in here?! What ego could there possibly be in telling someone close to you that you love them? The simple fact is that he's just having sex with you and has zero romantic feelings for you. There is no love. ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with racist comments?
Q. How can I deal with racist people ? I am a European ( originally born in chech) and came here at 3. I have been in the states for 27 Years my life has been shaped here - I love this county and never want to love. I can not identify with people and ...
A. 3 February 2018: In today's political environment in the US, I guess this is more common than ever before because it is validated by the person running the country. From making comments about "shithole" countries, to building walls to #MAGA, it's becoming ... (read in full...)
Do we try to help this couple, whose marriage is deeply troubled?
Q. So this is for a couple who have been family friends for a long time, let call them A (the woman) and B (the man). They've had differences in approach and tension going on, but now they have stopped conversing all together. They have a child and ...
A. 3 February 2018: I think you should stay out of it. Till someone categorically asks for your help or advice, don't go around offering either, especially where private and personal lives are concerned. What happens behind closed doors is for the husband and wife to ... (read in full...)
I didn't realise being a bridesmaid would mean so much pre wedding work!
Q. Hi folks, I’m looking for some help working out if I’m being unreasonable; if my friend is; or if it’s a bit of both. So basically my friend is getting married in August and I’m going to be a bridesmaid. That’s all fine, but the problem is she s...
A. 3 February 2018: While the first instinct in reading your post is to tell her to take a hike, a kinder approach is to look at this this way. She's your lifelong friend, she's about to get married, she's stressed and she's banking on you for support.
Even if you c... (read in full...)
Three dates in and she does't want to kiss!
Q. So I met a girl through Tinder and we went out for dinner. I'm 30 and she's 27. We hit it off really well. We talked for nearly 4 hours. She had a pretty bad cough though, and I didn't attempt any sort of physical contact except a brief touch of the ...
A. 31 January 2018: Wow! Talk about being a freeloader!
... (read in full...)
Three dates in and she does't want to kiss!
Q. So I met a girl through Tinder and we went out for dinner. I'm 30 and she's 27. We hit it off really well. We talked for nearly 4 hours. She had a pretty bad cough though, and I didn't attempt any sort of physical contact except a brief touch of the ...
A. 30 January 2018: She prefers to keep seeing someone to decide if she wants "something" means that she decides for how long this experiment of her continues... At your expense. Literally!
Don't waste your time on her anymore OP. You're giving her way too much imp... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with my sister and I being nude around each other?
Q. I am 20 years old and my sister is 18 years old. Our parents are usually not home: my dad is a long distance 18 wheeler driver and since my sister graduated from high school last year, my mom often goes with our dad. Both my sister and I hat...
A. 28 January 2018: If there's nothing wrong then why don't you do it in front of your parents or your friends?
In no universe is this acceptable or "right" and you are both going to have a very tough time having to explain this to anyone. ... (read in full...)
Love my boyfriend but I'm tempted to stray
Q. Hi there, thanks for looking. I hope it’s ok to ask this.. but please be nice as I’m already feeling in a very low place right now, and hate myself for this already. I guess I’m looking for the sort of advice a parent might give. I can’t stop cryi...
A. 26 January 2018:
When you say that your boyfriend has a bad temper, what exactly do you mean? Is he violent? Verbally abusive?
Anyway what I feel is that basically your relationship with your boyfriend has run it's course and the new guy is a distraction.... (read in full...)
What hope for this relationship?
Q. I’m heartbroken and confused by all of this and appreciate any insight. Please bear with me and my story. I’m 30 and he’s 32. He’s Single. Never married. About 6 months ago, our friendship progressed to us having mutual feelings towards each other. ...
A. 22 January 2018: What rubbish! Can you say no to something that you genuinely feel is "too good" and could be yours?
What he's saying is just a cop out. He's not into you and is just playing games. For whatever reason, he's enjoying leading you on and then dum... (read in full...)
Boyfriend shows no respect
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we have been practically living together since day one. First off he is a total momma's boy, which I have no problem with. But I know he will never out me first before her. My problem is that he ...
A. 20 January 2018: You love someone who abuses you left, right and centre and has zero respect for you? Why do you have such low self-esteem? Do you really see this relationship going someplace good? Are you telling us that you're that deluded?
I also notice t... (read in full...)
I'm getting married soon so why am I thinking of this other guy?
Q. Hello, a few days ago i went to a family wedding with my fiancee. Everyone had a great time and got on well, it was brilliant! Only problem is, my cousin brought a friend with him who i now cant stop thinking about. We found we had a lot in com...
A. 17 January 2018: Everyone has cold feet before they get married! I was almost considering running away! :D
OP don't be too hard on yourself ok? Marriage is a huge step and it's only normal to feel apprehensive as it draws closer. The flirting with the stranger... (read in full...)
Why send me a video of his girlfriend?
Q. My to be ex husband sent me his intimate vdo of him with his girlfriend. After we have been talking about divorce for these past years. We have been lived in 2 different countries though. So he sent me that last week, saying I should know and he ...
A. 16 January 2018:
Obviously to hurt you! To drive home the point in the way that would hurt you the most... That you mean nothing to him while he's completely into her (sorry I don't mean to be gross but that's what he's doing). To humiliate you, to make you cry,... (read in full...)
I thought my luck had changed! Now what?
Q. Hi, I have just come out of relationship with a wonderful guy, i was never treated as good in my life before by any guy, he brought me everywhere, family functions and so on, he was always very affectionate towards me, forehead kisses which are ...
A. 15 January 2018:
Sweetheart he's made his decision and you have to respect that. You might not want to give him up but he's decided that he doesn't want to be with you. Why, when, where, how...these things don't matter. What matters is that he has made the deci... (read in full...)
Am I an evil step mother?
Q. I am a stepmother who will be inheriting my husband Home instead of his adult child. I want responses on whether * am the evil stepmom everyone fears. Here is my story. My husband was a widower when we married,that was 14 years ago. His daughter ...
A. 14 January 2018: Nobody is a monster. Not you nor she.
It's difficult for children to accept their parents being with other people and not everyone can get on board with that. Your husband on the other hand is also allowed to choose another partner after the deat... (read in full...)
I want marriage and children, is he wasting my time?
Q. So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years we both have crazy work schedules so I suggested that we get a place together somewhere located centrally Between both of our apartments.In my mind it’s the perfect solution so we can spend more ...
A. 14 January 2018: Have you asked him why he's opposed to you living together?
How often do you meet each other? Has he ever spoken about marriage and kids? It's very important that you be on the same page regarding the big decisions. You say you are hoping that it w... (read in full...)
Will waxing my upper lip hurt?
Q. hi y'all, I'm 20 yo girl and have a kind of a moustache. it doesn't bother me a lot tbh. I only waxed it once (mum did it for me) and it kinda hurts, so i can't trust anyone to wax it for me( not even myself).. I would like to shave it, but i ...
A. 13 January 2018: Threading works best for me so that's what I'd suggest to you as well. I have a pretty low threshold for pain and absolutely cannot bear the agony of waxing. Shaving is a complete no-no. ... (read in full...)
My friend wont stop pestering me
Q. Since mid December i decided to cut back on social media ( im not on it much ) i let my friends know i was having a break from it so they knew they wasnt being ignored. I really enjoyed having a break from it ive felt free and relaxed so this ...
A. 12 January 2018:
I understand what you're trying to say. It's hard to ignore her before she's in your face literally all the time, gives you no breathing space and has no concept of boundaries.
The best that you can do without being downright rude is to just i... (read in full...)
I found my best friends sex tape online
Q. This is unbelievable. There is a girl I’ve been friends with since we were two years old, and we are now 24. I recently found a video of her on a porn site (one of my friends who met her at a party sent me a link saying it looked like her). It 10...
A. 9 January 2018: How close are you as friends? The question is worded as "best friends" but you say that you're friends and have known each other a long time. There's a difference between the two.
Either way, telling her face to face will not be easy. As Honeypie... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition
Q. Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...
A. 9 January 2018: The fact that she doesn't shower, shave, bother to put an effort into her appearance, eats all the time, doesn't want to do anything at home, has no ambitious, has no friends or hobbies... All this **screams** depression! How have you never ... (read in full...)
I am worried about oral sex and hygiene
Q. I've been in a relationship for a while now. She's coming over for the weekend. This will be the first time we'll be alone together in a private place. We've talked about being physical and we're both ready for it. I want to please her sexually. ...
A. 6 January 2018: First things first: Use a condom. Stay safe always. Shower together so you know that you're both clean and proceed from there.
If you want oral sex then you'll have to give it as well. Are you ok with receiving it?
Don't read stuff online and buil... (read in full...)
My question is should I follow my heart and keep seeing her because I feel great in her company or should I cut my losses now?
Q. So I've been living in Spain for a few months and I met a local girl and we really hit it off the first night. I tried to meet up with her again but she said she just wanted to be friends because she liked a German guy she met a few weeks ago but he ...
A. 4 January 2018:
Financially and socially, are you in a better position than her? Because right now it seems like she's keeping you in the loop because you're a safe catch.
She's sleeping with the other dudes despite you being on the scene because she's obviou... (read in full...)
Should I ask my co-worker out? Or is she a gold digger?
Q. Hello, The thing is I'm getting mixed signals from a female coworker. She said once that she doesn't like quiet guys (like me), or fat guys (also like me), but recently she seems much more eager to talk to me about random stuff (but she does spe...
A. 4 January 2018: How you still want to ask her out despite all this is beyond me. If someone has been pulled up by the boss for flirting relentlessly with a "hot guy" then it just shows the level of professionalism or the lack of it.
I think your buddies are havi... (read in full...)
How do I enact new behaviours so my needs are not negated?
Q. I have a question about what to do regarding a specific behaviour by a friendly couple. I am thinking about this in a general context of re-evaluating my own behaviours within friendships (and relationships with men) because a consistent, recurring ...
A. 4 January 2018: For the record I too agree that they were out of line giving out your address. Addresses and mobile numbers should never be handed out... It's common courtesy and decency.
Anyway now you know where you stand with the. Treat then the same way. The... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the looks I will get if I buy condoms
Q. Hi all, Recently, I got together with a guy and well, our relationship has been moving fairly quickly. I absolutely okay with how it's going. So, I was just wondering, he will coming to visit me at my own place (I live near my uni campus), and lik...
A. 3 January 2018: Sweetie what would you rather have? Isn't it better to have a "weird look" now than all the judgemental looks and shock and horror if God forbid you have to have an abortion? Or the morbid fear of trying to tell your parents that you're pregnant?
... (read in full...)
How do I enact new behaviours so my needs are not negated?
Q. I have a question about what to do regarding a specific behaviour by a friendly couple. I am thinking about this in a general context of re-evaluating my own behaviours within friendships (and relationships with men) because a consistent, recurring ...
A. 3 January 2018:
All that comes to my mind is that some people don't want to get personally involved in other people's problems. They just want to meet in good times, share some happy moments and then go their way. Maybe this couple is like that? As long as you ... (read in full...)
I'm extremely hurt that he doesn't believe I'm contributing enough!
Q. Hello everyone, I am a full time student with the occasional summer internship. I am studying a very rigorous major and while I've been in school for 3 years, it will take at least another two for me to finish my bachelors degree. I am a very good...
A. 3 January 2018: I agree with aunt Honeypie. You're just dating, not married so what should he be taking care of you? And that too for years? Maybe he thought that he could take on the responsibilities when you started dating but he's realising slowly that it's not ... (read in full...)
My husband just can't stop grilling me about my ex and it's getting out of control now
Q. Hi. I am 26 and just got married. I have known him from my school time. And we dated for 1 year untill we got married. He was always curious to know details about my past relationships. I had a boyfriend before him and it lasted for 3 years. My ...
A. 2 January 2018: Before jumping to the obvious conclusion, let me turn the question on its head.
Had you told your husband about your ex boyfriend before you got married?
Did he ever ask you about your past? Did you lie when asked?
What were the conversation... (read in full...)
Could he be ashamed of me?
Q. Hi everyone. I’m in a new relationship (few months) with a man about 6 years older than me. I adore him and he’s a sweetheart but I am finding that we tend to argue a bit too much over silly things , we never fall out though and we make up with each ...
A. 29 December 2017: There's so much that's wrong here!
You're living with a man you barely know. Why? Why him? Don't you have anyone else to turn to? What would you have done if he weren't on the scene?
He lived with some woman for FIVE years.. And you kidding ... (read in full...)
Worried my girlfriend will cheat while out of town on NYE.
Q. My girlfriend of seven years is going to spend New Years Eve with a friend of hers who lives in another state. This is the first NYE we will spend apart since we've gotten together. My girlfriend (and her friend, who has been her best friend ...
A. 28 December 2017: She can cheat on you right under your nose and you wouldn't know! Learn to trust and let go. ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her to be my girlfriend but something is holding me back
Q. I've recently been dating a lovely girl for the past 2 months but we haven't made it "official" so to speak. We'll call her Sofia. She's 25. We've dined together, slept together, taken pictures together, and text each other virtually every ...
A. 28 December 2017: For some reason I'm not very convinced about your emotions for Sofia from your post. Something doesn't quite fit. For starters, if you really, well and truly like someone then you won't think twice. You will do everything that you can to be with ... (read in full...)
Family troubles have me at my wits end
Q. I’m in a tough spot. Due to some circumstances, I am living with my boyfriend and his siblings in their parents summer home. It was a very good living situation - none of us paid rent and we had a huge house to the four of us while his parent...
A. 27 December 2017: OP right now you want everything your way. Your want to live in someone else's house rent free, on your terms, and then you complain when someone misbehaves with you. I agree that the sister has no business to behave badly with you but then again, ... (read in full...)
Is she interested? How can I tell and how do I tell her without sounding too full on?
Q. Hi, I hope some of you can offer me some good advice. A colleague of mine left a few months ago and we got on like a house on fire, so I was a little upset when she left for another job. I also was really attracted to her, but not wanting to mix b...
A. 27 December 2017: Sounds good!! I see your starting 2018 on a good note with your new girlfriend :) :)
I don't know why you've been waiting to ask her out for so long! Don't think so much! Go on, enjoy the date and tell us how it goes!
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Am I a terrible person for wanting an abortion?
Q. I'm 18 in my first year at university. In week one I met this guy and we became friends, and then really close friends, spending a lot of time together and when we weren't together, talking on the phone and texting. As you can imagine, we got ...
A. 25 December 2017: Take the test first. Your period could be late because of stress. It's happened to my friend once and she was absolutely convinced that she was pregnant but thankfully for her, it was negative.
Nevertheless, even if it's positive, you're not a ba... (read in full...)
Do I buy him a Christmas present?
Q. Hey all.. I've met a lovely guy - on tinder actually - we have had 3 dates and have both come off tinder as we have agreed we would like to see where this relationship goes. We are seeing each other again on Saturday.. but Christmas day is Monda...
A. 24 December 2017: Carry a small gift in your handbag. Nothing personal but something general that you would gift an acquaintance. If he gives your something first, then you can give him his gift. Otherwise don't. ... (read in full...)
Will he wait for me to be ready?
Q. My boyfriend got his very first teaching job this fall teaching music at an elementary school. I always knew he would be a great teacher, he loves kids and music is his passion. We met last year in university; he is two years older and kind of ...
A. 24 December 2017: Are you that weak that anyone can influence you and change your opinion on YOUR boyfriend, someone you have loved and chosen for yourself? People around you have no business to comment on your personal life and for heaven's sake, grow a backbone.
... (read in full...)
Playing truth or dare .... I didnt like his answer.
Q. I’ve been talking to this boy he’s in the same year as me but in a different school and tonight we were playing truth or dare I asked him what the most he had done with a girl is and he said he wants to take it back but he’s fingered someone.Ohhh ...
A. 23 December 2017: Here's what you do.
Stop thinking about him in a sexual way and stick to bring just friends. Focus on studies and be a normal teenager. Don't grow up sooner than you should.... (read in full...)
I feel my boyfried obsesses over petty tips!
Q. Hello I'd like every one's opinion on this : My boyfriend is very big on tips. He worked as a waiter at a small restaurant for a few years and currently an Uber driver. Every day he would tell me how this rider or that rider promised to tip ...
A. 23 December 2017: Hi OP
In my first answer I didn't suggest that you leave him but looking at your follow-up, now I'll say you should! Immediately and before he continues to fleece you further.
More than money I now see that it's a problem of attitude and thi... (read in full...)
I feel my boyfried obsesses over petty tips!
Q. Hello I'd like every one's opinion on this : My boyfriend is very big on tips. He worked as a waiter at a small restaurant for a few years and currently an Uber driver. Every day he would tell me how this rider or that rider promised to tip ...
A. 22 December 2017:
You and him are at different positions in life as far as your place and nature of work are concerned. In the kind of work that he does, he thinks that it's acceptable and more than generous to tip a dollar because that is personally what makes HIM ... (read in full...)
I'm crushing on my ex's brother, his partner is my friend
Q. I no this might sound really bad. But I am so confused right now!! I split with my ex over 3 years ago we have a child together. I have stayed close with his brother and with The brothers current partner. Me and the brother have always been flirty ...
A. 21 December 2017: Get a grip on yourself. You're not a horny teenager. You have a child and that too with this man's brother. What good can possibly come off this? Some sex? A few orgasms? Do you think this man who's so disrespectful of his own partner will care two ... (read in full...)
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