A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey cupids! Ill just jump into it, I have been good friends with my colleague *rob at work since he started 2 years ago. We have always been quite close, always having a laugh and can talk about things we can't with many other people. In the last few months we have been very flirty with each other. We've been pretty inseparable at work most of the staff joking about where there is one of us the other will be there too. It's been the usual flirty things like playful comments on appearance, texts, bumping into each other, he would tickle my neck softly as he walked past, he would slap my bottom playfully sometimes, go for cigarettes together no matter where we would be working. We work nightshifts and we had started cuddling in a chair together a couple of times a night too (on our breaks obviously) and he would give me a lift to my bus stop in the morning. You get the picture. A couple of weeks ago however, I had a silly drunken argument with my recent EX partner. I rang rob who was also out with his friends and told him all about it. He told me I could stay at his house which I have done before now, in the spare room.I went to his and let myself in using the spare key and stayed in his room until he got home from his night out. When he got home he woke me up and checked I was ok. Then we kissed me. We slept together and I spent all day at the house with him and his housemates, sneaking off to his room for more privacy. Nothing has been said since except to keep it between us as his housemate (who is also one of our colleagues) has a thing for me and we wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. Rob has still been acting the same with me, the flirting and texts and cuddles but everything seems a little guarded between us.I'm not sure if I should ask him outright if he regrets what happened between us. I'm just not quite sure where I should go from here really. Some advice would be lovely, especially if anyone has been in this situation before.For the record I don't go jumping into bed with just anyone so no flames on that one please
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 October 2012):
 WTF?!?
Okay, frankly I'd be pissed too if I slept with a guy and then he had the nerve to basically say:
"Of course I don't regret it. I got to have sex! But don't think I actually want to be with you. I just like having someone at work who I get to flirt with and possibly sleep with. But seriously, don't think that I like you like that because I actually like this Polish girl. So don't text me, unless it's completely undercover and nobody will know about it."
If he likes you, he'd be pursuing you, not this Polish chick. I say this guy gets an: ew. He also gets labelled as: scum.
You can do better. I guess you were right to call him and ask him... you found out his true colors. Sorry that you get tangled up with a guy who is a little bit of a dirtbag.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so I decided to ask this guy if he regretted what happened between us earlier on this evening. He rang me not long afterwards and told me that he likes me and he liked what we did and he does not regret it. However he would like us to stay friends and that he values me as a friend. He then told me that he is interested in this polish girl and that I shouldn't text him outside of work in case she sees it (he is polish btw)
I am at a total loss and I am pretty angry too. I feel really used. I asked a work mate who is close to both me and rob what he thinks of us without letting him know anything has happened and our work mate told me that rob likes me and is always talking about me and why we should just get together. I had to check to see if I wasn't just being silly and misreading the signs.
I am glad he still wants to be friends but I feel really confused, upset and angry. Maybe it's because I am English and he is polish which is what is keeping him from wanting to be with me? I'd like to think he was better than that but it's just a random guess.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 October 2012):
Don't feel bad about his housemate. If not making him feel bad ruins a potentially great relationship, well that just sucks. You two really like each other! You have good chemistry, you get along well, it seems that you have a good thing going. If you don't have feelings for his housemate, but for Rob, then you should date Rob and not feel bad about it. His housemate ought to move on anyway if he's chasing a woman who doesn't have interest in him.
I don't think you should ask if he regrets it. I think you should ask him to dinner!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 October 2012):
 Why would we flame you, you two are obviously crazy about each other and hooked up. If you want to start something, make a move on him. Ask him to a movie or something or even to coffee. If he was feeling terrible about what happened, he would have stopped being flirtatious with you. He might be waiting to see how you respond. If you want this to turn into something, ask him to hang out outside of work.
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