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... Send *ellyO a private message | | | *ellyO's profile:Thanks for coming to my column. Yes, i have been there but i am now happily married and i feel with my experiences in life, love and marriage i can help others. I am also a manager in an engineering firm so i can possibly help with some career advice. I am a much softer person in real life so my friends say, but i cant help but tell you the truth because my wish is to help you make the best decision.
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Druges help me feel a little better...help
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 5 mths. ago. He cheated and i do not want him back. i can't seem to get happy without him. I do drugs to numb thee pain. I am a mess. help. ...
A. 2 February 2006: Dearie, I think you did right reaching out for help. I also think you made the right decision ending your relationship since he wasnt faithful to you. You should be with someone totally devoted to u.
You did indicate in your posting that u dont w... (read in full...)
Druges help me feel a little better...help
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 5 mths. ago. He cheated and i do not want him back. i can't seem to get happy without him. I do drugs to numb thee pain. I am a mess. help. ...
A. 2 February 2006: Dearie, I think you did right reaching out for help. I also think you made the right decision ending your relationship since he wasnt faithful to you. You should be with someone totally devoted to u.
You did indicate in your posting that u dont w... (read in full...)
My friend kissed my boyfriend and slapped him on the face! What should I do?
Q. what would you do if one of your friends kissed your boyfriend and slaped him on the face? can you help?...
A. 17 January 2006: I would find out what the whole episode was all about from both my friend and my boyfriend. See whether their stories line up and take my decision based on this.
... (read in full...)
Stay with my boyfriend? Or follow my heart with the new guy?
Q. I have a big problem. I have a boyfriend and I've liked him since high school, but I've met someone within the last year or so that I've grown to love and he really loves me. I just recently got into a relationship with my current boyfriend. I don't ...
A. 17 January 2006: Dearie, You should be with the one you truly love. follow your heart. Dont stay in a relationship because of pity or responsiblity u wont be doing this person or yourself any good.
Goodluck... (read in full...)
Happy with my wife, but I can't stop fantasising about a threesome with her and her sister!
Q. I'm a 30-year-old married man. I am happy with my wife but the only problem is her twin sister! I am attracted towards her too. I try to avoid them and get successful also but whenever I see her again I am back to square one. To be true, I don’t ...
A. 17 January 2006: I agree with the others here. what you are suggesting wont add any value to your marriage at all. it will only cause alot of bitterness and remorse.
If u really do love your wife and want your marriage to work then seek counselling.
All the... (read in full...)
Why would my ex-wife lie about seeing another guy?
Q. My wife and I got legally seperated almost three months ago she has a daughter that I have known since she was 10 months old and is now 5 yrs old. I found out the other day from her daughter that my ex-wife is hanging out with another guy. when I ...
A. 17 January 2006: Well there could be a number is reasons. could be she doesnt want to hurt you, she still cares for you or maybe she isnt accertained yet what this guy means to her. She could be seeing him as a friend for now and probably havent crossed the ... (read in full...)
I raised my voice, and my girlfriend left me because she was afraid I'd abuse her! I've never hurt a woman. What can I do?
Q. I had a misunderstanding with my girlfriend of 1 yr. She said that i was loud and she left. now she says that she's afaird that i'll abuse her. i've never hit a woman and don't have a hot temper. i never called her names or cussed her just raised ...
A. 17 January 2006: Dearie, i agree with everyone here. perhaps u could find a way to see her and set things right. Tell her what u said here that u have never raised your hands at any woman before and wouldnt to her. Try also to find out if she has been abuse in the ... (read in full...)
When we were together, we chose to abort our baby, but now his one-night stand is pregnant, and they're keeping the baby! I feel so hurt and alone...
Q. I am 27 years old and newly single. A week ago I found out my ex is having a baby with a supposed 'one night stand'. She is keeping the baby, with no respect to him. A year ago I was pregnant with his baby and aborted cause neither of us were ready. ...
A. 17 January 2006: Dearie, I just have to add something else to what the other aunts mentioned cos ur story really moved me.
i understand how hurt you must feel. But i must add that u shouldnt feel bad about any decision u made in the past. You just have to grow ... (read in full...)
We were friends and slept together...now he won't even talk to me
Q. Hi there, I hope you are able to offer me some helpful advice. Last year me and my best friend (who is male) slept together. It was my first time. It wasnt meant to happen but it did, and it kept happening over a long period of time. In the e...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, my heart went out to u when i read ur post. You two must have shared some special bond, at least so u thought. I know he was your first lover and u had hoped he was ideal and was very dissappointed to find out he has being unfaithful to u at ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my shyness?
Q. i am 20 year old and im to shy to talk to a girl what can do?...
A. 6 January 2006: Dear, you could go out with male friends that are confident in approaching females. Go to parties, clubs, e.t.c. start by making friends with them and this builds up.
Goodluck ... (read in full...)
I'm a 23 year old virgin with a 5.5 inch penis. I feel shy about having sex...help!
Q. i am 23 old virgin and i have 5.5 inch penis .should i feel shy from having sex ? i feel shy :(...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, u shouldnt be shy about ur body. Everybody has different sizes and to me its not the size that matters. I prefer a guy who is honest and loving. who treats a woman with respect than one who has a bigger sized organ. i am sure plenty of ... (read in full...)
I always have time to text him a quick message, but my boyfriend doesn't seem to have the same time for me!
Q. hey there, there is something that is really bugging me. My bf is currently working in another city, and we are devoted to each other, during the day we both get very busy, but I whether i'm busy or not always send him a sweet message or, how are ...
A. 6 January 2006: Hi dearie, maybe u should talk to him first. Call him and tell him how u feel not through text so that u can hear his immediate reply. Make him know that u would like u guys to keep the connection there by sending more messages to each other as you ... (read in full...)
Help us! My girlfriend is too small and I'm too big to have enjoyable sex!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years. and had sex about 5 or 6 times. The problem is that im big and she is small. What can we do, so that we can both enjoy sex, and not end up hurting her every time we have intercourse?...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, first u have to make sure there is alot of foreplay. u should also use lubrication.
goodluck.... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and really like this guy in the 12th grade. Should I go for it and see if we can date?
Q. ok i'm basically in the same position as alot of other freshman girls. well i'm a 14 yr old 9th grader. i reeeeeeally like this one 12th grader. but he looks older than me and he's really tall. would he be interested in me. it's really not a big ...
A. 6 January 2006: Hi dearie, u could start by being friends. u could get someone to introduce u two.
All the best.... (read in full...)
I thought when she split with her boyfriend, I could ask her out. But now she's not sure if they're back on or not!
Q. Recently I have been having strong feelings towards a girl I have been good friends with for about a year. We're pretty close and we have a good laugh together plus I feel I can really talk to her about anything. So when she said her and her boyf...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, my own advise is that you should allow her to sort her feelings out first. You could be her friend and show your support.
If u really like her then u will have to give her time to sort things through.i'm sure it wont take long u will soo... (read in full...)
Brushing her off was a mistake. I see that now, but is it too late to get her back?
Q. Ok well I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. She was 15 and i was 18. She always talked to me through text messages. I was a complete jerk and was never as nice to her as she was to me, but she still loved me for it. Near December...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, am afraid u werent at all nice to this girl. it seems she has had enough and u cant blame her really.
If u really want her back then u have to tell her, not by messages but arrange to meet her. You can take her to dinner or try getting ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and I think my 13-year-old cousin is attracted to me!
Q. I just turned 20 and my little cousin is about to turn thriteen. I only see her a couple times a year and when I saw her over Christmas she said she had a nightmare and that I was killed and when she woke up she thought of killing herself because ...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, it probably a crush. she is still 13 and i had alot of crush at that age for guys older although i wouldnt voice any out.
My advise is that u should treat her like your little.dont encourage her.
All the best dear.
... (read in full...)
I love a girl at school more than anyone else, but she says there'll never be anything between us!
Q. I have been intrested in a Girl at school for some time now and have only told her my feelings for her 6 months ago. She is after someone else and has just told me that "there won't be anything between us I don't see you like that". This does not ...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, u could be her friend.
She has mentioned that she doesnt see u in that way and there cant be anything between the two of u. You should find someone who will share your feelings. Its been six months now and no change and she is even con... (read in full...)
It's illogical, but I stress myself out worrying about my girlfriend cheating on me with her ex-husband!
Q. Ok .. I dont know where to begin. *sigh* Thanks for advance in reading this. (5 years ago) I'm 25 , male .. been in 2 serious relationships in my life. I was cheated on the first time , walked in and caught her with my best friend. Never sp...
A. 6 January 2006: I think you are just plainly angry with this guy and all he put her through. The thought of him treating the woman u love with such disdain makes u even more angry.
You are right though he has children with her and he cant help but want to be pa... (read in full...)
I've made lots of mistakes in my relationship with a guy I like, starting with snogging another lad!
Q. i'm messing my relationship with this lad i like up and i don't know why i'm doing it. i started hanging round with him more and we went on a couple of dates. i really like him although i haven't decided if i want to go out with him properly...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, i feel things ended this way for you cause u havent really made up your mind who u want to be with or you are probably not ready to commit.
You seem young not sure of your age,but u should think about what u really want. what a relation... (read in full...)
Can't decide if I should tell my friend that his girlfriend is just waiting around for the next guy...
Q. Hi, Please help me, This girl I walk to college with has been seeing her boyfriend for about 3 months. She recently told me that she's never fancied him, and that she likes him as a mate. Her boyfriend is also my friend and I do my duties with him ...
A. 6 January 2006: Dearie, i understand how u feel. This guy is your friend and you feel partly responsible to tell him what is going on.
I really dont like involving myself with other problems like that cause i learnt a bitter lesson in the past.
When i wa... (read in full...)
Is my married friend playing games with me?
Q. hope someone can answer this.for along time now i have been attracted to a married man and he told me that he felt the same for years as well.i know this is bad but last summer we went out for a drink,nothing happened as we both agreed it was stupid ...
A. 5 January 2006: Dearie, i agree with the other aunties. Having a relationship will this guy will only get ur hurt. You can see all the signs now as it is just starting and there are not good. Just imagine what will happens when u are already too deep.
You w... (read in full...)
Do I not love him or is it because I'm homesick?
Q. I am a homing bird i love being with my family and have ner been apart from them.I just moved in with my boyfriend and we were getting on great. we had a row and all of a sudden i feel I don't love him any more. i know i do my life would not be the ...
A. 5 January 2006: Give it time and see what happens u just might be home sick. Dont dimiss him yet or push him away.
If ur home is within a few miles u could go visit and come back it might cheer u up.
All the best dear.
... (read in full...)
She had a dozen pictures of her ex on the dresser and we've been together 3 months. Red flag?
Q. In the past 3 months I got back from Iraq and have been "dating" a girl that I have known for years since high school. Currently both of us are 24 and just trying to see how this relationship could work out. I'm new to relationships on a recent a...
A. 4 January 2006: Dearie, maybe u should ask her about it and see what happens.
Goodluck... (read in full...)
A small percentage of people invited to my party showed up..what could be the reasons that more didn't show up?
Q. Had a wonderful party on New Years Eve but feel annoyed and disappointed with some of my friends and relatives. Sent out invites to a new year's eve party - only 36 out of 105 people came to the party. Seems a low number to me - is that the usual ...
A. 4 January 2006: Dear, i agree with u there could have let u know earlier if they werent coming. i usually do that if i have a special invitation to a party and i know i cant make it. But what u should realise is that no everyone think this way.
Also, New year eve... (read in full...)
My husband asked me if he can sleep with other people..I am horrified! But I'm wondering am I being a prude?
Q. my husband asked me this week if he can sleep with other people and would i mind as our sex life has gone flat. we have been married for six years and together for eight. i was horrified now i wonder if im just being a prude? am i?...
A. 4 January 2006: No you are not being prude!!!Except u are into that stuff.
You should ask yourself what u want from your marriage and what it means to u. If u want a husband that is committed to you then u guys should work on you sex life. I can see that is ... (read in full...)
We argue. Sometimes we don't even know why we do...
Q. My boyfriend and I argue all the time..and sometimes we don't even know why. We are very different, and have very different opinions. One of us ends up getting mad and then there is always tension between us. But we love each other very much and we ...
A. 4 January 2006: I must say it is good to let things out,but arguing alot in any relationship can subsquently lead to its down fall.
You seem to have pinpointed the problem here. You say u guys are opposite and have different opinions on things.
Perhaps u... (read in full...)
I've got no pubic hair... Now everyone knows!
Q. i am 13 and have no pubic hair at all its so embarrising and i dont want to tell or talk to anyone about it. please help me as my ex boyfriend found this out and has spread it all round my school, people took the mick out of me for a week i got so ...
A. 4 January 2006: Dont worry about it. it will grow with time. Am sure there are alot of 13 years old in your school who havent gotten any too even if they dont say.Some grown ups dont even keep their and prefer a shave.
By thinking of growing some it probably ... (read in full...)
Is it crazy to love a man who drinks and has multiple other problems?
Q. My fiance and I recently seperated from each other due to his drinking problems and multiple problems that have spawned from them. He acknowledges that he has a problem. I am madly in love with him, and despite his willingness to speak to anyone on ...
A. 4 January 2006: Hi dearie, if he indeed wants to work on those problem and u do love him then perhaps u can give it a go and help him. see what happens?? its ur call really.
They are counselling and alcohol support groups he could go to that really does help. If... (read in full...)
My gf wants a break, but she says she loves me. I don't know what to do!
Q. Last week my girlfriend suggested that we should take a break (no time limit) claiming that she feels a little smothered and she needs her space. We have been together for almost two years and we had been doing very good. She says that she loves me...
A. 4 January 2006: I agree with the other here,i think u need to give her some space as she requested. she obviously seems confused and it might help her to think and weigh what she wants. She might even at the end realise she wants to be with u and she misses u ... (read in full...)
My ex husband wants me back... Reason say walk away but my heart says otherwise!
Q. I am so confused. I was married for 7 years. We have two young children. About a year ago I found out that my husband was unhappy in our marriage and wanted out. After he left, I discovered that he had been cheating on me. Shortly thereafter I ...
A. 4 January 2006: Hi dearie, follow ur reason here. If he wants to work things out with u then why is he still leaving with his girlfriend??? why cant he leave now why should he wait till the ned of the month.Is he baby sitting now!! He doesnt have to be there 24 ... (read in full...)
I took back my husband after 15 years apart... Now he's impotent and I feel I've made the wrong move
Q. I am a 57 year old woman. My husband and I have been back together after 15 years apart. He ask me to forgive him for the wrong things that he has done and if he can make it right. We have one adult child together. We have several problems but the ...
A. 4 January 2006: Hi dearie, i feel he hasnt realise how important it is to you that is why he has gotten around to doing something about it yet. Maybe u should try talk to him again let him know that u do love him but would like to him to seek medidcation so that u ... (read in full...)
Feel free to add your thoughts!
Q. I just wanted to say a belated Happy New Year to all the people who visit this website, whether it's people asking for advice or the agony aunts who give it. The things being achieved on this site are amazing - I think it is the best site on the ...
A. 4 January 2006: Happy New year to You too.
We all try our best to help the readers and each other as well.
I learnt alot from this site myself and i have tried to give back to help others. Everyday i seem to learn new from this site.
Thanks all that have ... (read in full...)
My husband seems to think I should just "get over" his infidelity because he said Sorry!
Q. I discovered my husband had an affair one year ago. We are still together but he treats me so badly. He is constantly nasty- and emotionally abusive. Everything is my fault and I am rubbish. Everything I read says how "sorry men are and how they beg...
A. 4 January 2006: Hi dearie, my own opinion is that ur husband probably isnt sorry that he did it period. if he was then he would be compassionate and not blame everything on u. How can he think u can love him when he is beastly to u.
You say he treats u bad then... (read in full...)
I'm developing feelings for him but he already has a gf...what should I do if he makes a move on me?
Q. Okay I have known this guy for about 10 years and we have always got on well, he would always ask me out when we first met but I always said no because I felt that we where friends and I didnt want to lead him on when I never saw anything happenin...
A. 4 January 2006: Dearie, i agree with happytochat. what are u waiting for really? You two seem to like each other. You might regret it if u let him go again.
He is single now and u wouldnt be dating someone else boyfriend. He did mention that they have permanen... (read in full...)
I have a great new job-I'm back in school-I'm back with my husband...so why do I still feel unhappy? Help me understand.
Q. I had my daughter with my boyfriend when I was 20 but we broke up. I have been with my husband for 5 years, since she was almost 1. We have been married for a year and a half. I left my husband for another man a few months before our first ...
A. 4 January 2006: Dearie, could be that u have had a lot of events this past period and made u feel strain. Getting a job, going back to school, ex-boyfriend and ur husband. It is alot of acitivities to have happened and i am sure u feel abit numb for going thru all ... (read in full...)
Worried my boyfriend will do something awful if I leave him
Q. i'm 24 yrs old and currently dating my boyfriend for nearly 7 years. I'm having an affairs with someone else he seem to knew about it and started to cursed me saying that he would want to kill me and the guy if he saw it on his own eyes.I broke up ...
A. 4 January 2006: Dearie, i would advise u to leave this guy still. u obviously dont have feelings for u and he has been threatening to stay with him against your will.
Thread carefilly here.Is there nobody u could run to and stay with without him knowing so that ... (read in full...)
She has 75 guys in her address book... And I just hate to share her with any of them!
Q. Some one please help... I have a small problem with sharing. My girlfriend and I have been friends for many years and have always wanted to date but something has always stopped us (distance being one factor). We are together now and are extremel...
A. 4 January 2006: Dearie, well i have twice that amount of guys name in my address book cos i read engineering and there were mostly guys in my courses from undergrad, to masters then phD. it doesnt mean i did it with them, they are purely my friends and i am sure ... (read in full...)
A big fight with my girlfriend means I can't talk to her...what do I do?
Q. I have fallen completely in love with my girlfriend and she says she loves me too and talks of nothing but our future. Over time baggage from her past has haunted us more and more leading to more heated arguments. i came back from a 2 week vacation ...
A. 3 January 2006: Hi dear, my advise is that u need to stay with family and friends.
She doesnt seem to want u to contact her now and there is nothing u can do.
U said here u cant contact her, and i really dont think that it is advisable right now anyway.The l... (read in full...)
For our 16th anniversary, he took me to Home Depot! How do I get this man to romance me more?
Q. I am 39 yrs old married for 16 yrs with three children. I am tired of being married and taken for granted. For our 10 yr anniversary I said how I would like to renew our vows in a church since we didn't get married in a church. Hubby states, he ...
A. 3 January 2006: Dearie, i would have suggested you talk to him and let him know how u feel. i am sure if u have already done that.
Also,my mum used to complain about my dad doing the same and he only recently started getting her gifts and cards becos she was ... (read in full...)
He's not a man of his word but I love him and we are to be married! Help
Q. I'm not sure what to do. I have a fiance that simply doesn't do what he says he will do. Everything from huge issues like getting a job to small things like coming in for supper. We are supposed to be getting married this year, and I'm scared. He ...
A. 3 January 2006: Dearie, my advise is that if u have doubts at all about this guy then dont marry him.
It seems u have tried talking to him before and he hasnt changed. maybe u should do it again before u make ur final decision. Tell him What u wrote here,tha... (read in full...)
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