Like what
she writes?
... Add *ellyO to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ellyO a private message | | | *ellyO's profile:Thanks for coming to my column. Yes, i have been there but i am now happily married and i feel with my experiences in life, love and marriage i can help others. I am also a manager in an engineering firm so i can possibly help with some career advice. I am a much softer person in real life so my friends say, but i cant help but tell you the truth because my wish is to help you make the best decision.
|
|
Why did he cheat if he loves me?
Q. Hey I've recently broken up with my (ex) boyfriend who has been cheating on me. I can't seem to move on, he is all I ever think about. I've blocked him on Facebook many times but then I unblock him so we can talk. We have tried many many times ...
A. 17 October 2012: Hi,
Is not always easy to break up especially in this case when you gave your heart/all in the relationship and you felt betrayed. why did he cheat? My answer would be because he can. Is that simple and for me if my boyfriend was to ever do that ... (read in full...)
Please help me. Should I confront my hypocritical and abusive father?
Q. This is kind of long because it all relates I appreciate you reading and helping I'm in my mid twenties in grad school and I live with my parents. I am also a massage therapist. I work at a wellness center an hour away from home as well as have ...
A. 14 October 2012: Hi,
Is sad that you took the responsibility of looking after your sister children especially when you were only a kid yourself. With much responsibility you still found the time to go to grad school and work part-time. I must say you are a hard-w... (read in full...)
Am I really in love with this guy or does it sound like a physical attraction? How can I tell the difference betwen like, love and just physical attraction?
Q. Dear Cupid How do we know whether we truely someone or its just physical attraction. I'm with this Guy for 2 years, I love him a lot. I never thought he is really handsome or anything, but its something in him I don't know want, makes me crazy a...
A. 13 October 2012: From what you say it sounds that you are in love!... (read in full...)
Can someone please tell me what 'treating a girl like a Princess' is all about?
Q. what is all the stuff about boyfrinds treating their girlfriends like a princess about Sorry I am clueless about this. How is this done? What do I do? why is it required?...
A. 13 October 2012: Treating a girl like a princess might mean different things to different people. For me I do believe my husband treats me very special almost I would say like a princess but i equally treat him very special as well. It should be a two way thing. I ... (read in full...)
I am terrified of having sex,feels as if my whole life is going to crumble.
Q. I have joined this site with lots of hope. Since my younger days I used to be afraid of having sex but now it seems that I have succumbed to that fear.And I am unable to focus on anything now because of this pressure. I have been in love with ...
A. 1 October 2012: Hi,
I was also scared myself for the first time.It seems to me that you are in a committed long term relationship which is good. Sex is way to become much closer with a partner in a committed relationship. Regardless of what you have been told it ... (read in full...)
Every time a budding relationship ends I get more depressed
Q. Hi there I am really suffering in many ways. I was seeing a guy after a very bad break up which led myself and partner abroad only to realise that we were not compatible living together. It was heartbreaking. I went back to uk he stayed in ...
A. 30 September 2012: Hi,
Sorry to hear that you are depressed. Maybe for now u should focus on sorting out the job issue. It will be a great confidence booster if you can find a job you love. This will also give you opportunity to meet new people through work.
A... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a guy, who loves someone else.
Q. I have this best friend and I am head over heels in love with him. He makes me so happy and i just want to be with him. He was upset today and I asked him why. I finally got through to him and he told me. He said that he has been in this long ...
A. 29 September 2012: Oh poor you! I don't think it is the best time to tell him though because his heart is elsewhere. From what you say even if they break up it is still going to take sometime for him to get over her. I am just surprised though that he didn't mention ... (read in full...)
My problem is low self-esteem and low confidence. But can I fix it ?
Q. It seems like the root of my problems is low self-esteem/confidence. I think I have gotten a lot stronger, especially with the help of my boyfriend... but how can I make sure that my doubts don't keep coming up in my mind and affecting our rela...
A. 29 September 2012: Believe it or not most women have low self-esteem and confidence issues more than you think. That doesn't make it right and is good you are working on it. Don't worry about it affecting your relationship this guy understands and love you that is why ... (read in full...)
My g/f isn't "the one" -- but her best friend might be
Q. so ive got myself in a bit of a jam. im 25 and have dated around a lot trying to find exactly what im looking for. I started dating a new girl about 3 months ago and a few red flags are up...I know she's not the girl for me. The problem becomes ...
A. 29 September 2012: You are in a situation here i can see! I agree you indeed need to end the relationship with your girlfriend if you really believe she is not the one. But I don't think you should be asking her best friend out at least not anytime soon. You wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Torn between 2 men
Q. My sister has opened a shop 15 minutes away from her house so i help her to sell. I met a guy who wants to date me and i thought he was just a player and i didn't take it seriously but i gave him my number. Two days after that i met another guy whom ...
A. 23 September 2012: Hi,
You seem to be a bit confused which guy to pick but obviously you don't want to pick a player. On the one hand I don't know how you can be sure that guy 1 or indeed guy 2 are not players.I think you need to find out a bit more about them bot... (read in full...)
When they discover my religion guys take a step back!
Q. I always get a lot of attention from guys and have never felt insecure about anything. But recently I've realized that guys start looking at me differently as soon as they find out I am a Muslim. I live/study in Christian society so pretty much ...
A. 23 September 2012: Hi,
People generally have different views about religions so this is a tough one. Because of compatibility issues some Jews, Muslims or Christians might prefer to be with their own kind or be with someone who is ready to learn about their religion... (read in full...)
My B/f and I have grown distant after he got a job and is busy working.
Q. Me and my boyfriend for the most part are very close but lately we have grown more distant , he got a job and spends soo many hours working. and when he's not working he doesn't seem to wanna call or text me and at school he kinda ignores me But ...
A. 21 September 2012: Hi,
Maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you feel.He seems to have a lot on his plate at the moment with work and school and might be having trouble finding enough time for himself as well as you.
Maybe you could help him organize his... (read in full...)
Can I expect some kind of commitment from him?
Q. I have dated this guy for 2 months. It was a mess at first. Basically he dated me and my friend at the same time. I didn't know about this until my friend told me after a week. I talked to him and he said because we were not BF and GF yet so he...
A. 21 September 2012: Hi,
Is obvious you don't trust him and I think you have reasons not to. Your relationship is still very young and I am afraid it hasn't been built on a solid foundation right from start. Although two months relationship is still very young to... (read in full...)
We have been married for 18 years but recently he has been cold and we don't have sex for months.
Q. Any advise will be appreciated. I have a situation going on with my husband of 18 years. We married young and maybe this is a factor because I think he is tired of me. I have always been a little colder than him and would try to hide my emotions, I ...
A. 18 September 2012: Hi,
why not try counselling? Is that something you think he would be open to? If talking to him makes things change even for a short time as you say i think counselling could work. if you are still in love with him then i would suggest to fight ha... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'll cheat if I go to Kent
Q. My boyfriend doesnt like the idea of me going to Kent because he thinks im going to cheat on him and not tell him because of my past relationships. i tell him everyday that i wont do anything to hurt him and i wont but he thinks im a whole ...
A. 18 September 2012: Hi,
I don't really know what you mean by past relationships or what you do when you drink as you have not fully explained. However I do think from what little you have said that if i were your boyfriend i will be a bit concerned also. You may thin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps files on all his previous girlfriends
Q. My boyfriend keeps files on all his ex-girlfriends. Is this normal? He was on a dating site before he met me and he had files, manila folders, with print-outs of the women he dated and their correspondence back and forth through the computer. ...
A. 18 September 2012: Hi,
This is not normal I have never heard of anyone who has ever done this. I am sure you haven't yourself until now, then how can this be normal?I suggest you dump this guy as quickly as possible. He sounds weird and egoistical. what makes yo... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to get involved with an alcoholic?
Q. Is it possible or even advisable to have a relationship with a guy who has a serious drinking problem? I care for him deeply and he says he loves me.... but he is occasionally abusive and I have always stood up for myself but I just feel that I am ...
A. 15 September 2012: I have a friend who is married to an alcoholic. She knew what he was before they got married and was hoping he would change once he starts a family. It is now 10years and they have got three kids but he is still the same. She has grown into a bitter ... (read in full...)
I hate going away on holiday with my fiance! Should I be marrying her?
Q. HI,I live with my girl friend 3 years.we get on fine most of the time.We are engaged and due to get married.But every time we go away I dont really enjoy been with her.I can count 6 or 7 holidays that we have gone on that im just ready to run away ...
A. 14 September 2012: Hi,
Are you sure you are just not having cold feet?Are you she is the only reason why you didn't enjoy these holiday? I will tell what i think love is and you only can decide.
Love is Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, love is defined ... (read in full...)
Is my husband secretly gay?
Q. I have a strong feeling that my husband is either gay or bi.... 8 months after we have gotten married I found in his email that he posted on craigslist about sex with a guy... Of course I asked him about it and was upset... He told me he didn't a...
A. 14 September 2012: Hi Anom,
I am afraid all this should indeed be a big red flag. He could be gay or bi-sexual, or simply just curious but the fact that he is willing and still thinking(cos he talking about u watching) of having sex with someone else in your mar... (read in full...)
In the midst of a mid-marriage crisis, suggestions appreciated!
Q. We are both in our fifties. We've not had any sexual relations for many years. But we were madly in love once upon a time. We still care a lot. But the lack of communication, constant and bickering arguments and bickering is stressing us both out. ...
A. 14 September 2012: Hi,
It seems to me that you are(both)trapped in a situation with its root in the past but with an unrewarding present and an unsatisfactorily future outlook. Staying together sometimes just become a habit.Maybe it is simply time to accept that you... (read in full...)
Once someone has moved on will they ever come back?
Q. Once someone has moved on will they ever come back? The reason I ask is me and a guy were seeing each other. There had been signs he'd like me for years but always said he didnt, and when we got together it seemed like everything was falling into ...
A. 14 September 2012: Hi,
I am afraid people change and people move on. i think deep down you know he has and I am afraid is time for you to do the same. Hey, i know it is hard believe me a lot of us have gone through this one time or the other in our lives. maybe is... (read in full...)
My husband can't tell his family no, and it's causing trouble in our relationship.
Q. Every time my husband's family comes home he don't know when to come home, all he do is drink with them and forget all about his family, then curses me out when he gets upset, I want my marrage to work, and we have been doing so good, its like if we ...
A. 14 September 2012: Hi,
Totally get you cos my dad was like that too in the beginning. I remember he used to go out drinking and late nites only when they are around, smokes a lot around them which made us ill and he gave them money even though we were struggli... (read in full...)
It hurts so much that we were once friends but now we aren't
Q. I had a bad friendship break up 4 years ago, that still bothers me to this day. 4 Years ago, i was best friends with this girl named Kayla for about a year and 1/2. She was the first person I opened up too, Gave her my heart, and let her know ...
A. 2 September 2012: Hi SassyElegancexoxo,
Some friendship last some don't but that is life for you. This is beginning of learning to be strong and to handle disappointment. Forget about her and make other friends. Think of it as she was never a real friend. A real f... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't treat me with love and care like he used to
Q. in terms of problems this maybe isnt huge but it is playing on my mind a bit. i have been with my boyfreind for 2 years now...and he just doesnt treat me with the same care and attention he used to. Yesterday was my 24rd birthday....and i got ...
A. 2 September 2012: Hi Alexandria,
I agree with you here. Your boyfriend should make an effort to remember your birthday. Not even a card? My husband and I have been married now for some years and he always remembers my birthday, valentines and our annivers... (read in full...)
Husband won't work and we are about to lose our house!
Q. I am needing some advice and am not sure what to do about my marriage. My husband refuses to look for work or get a job. First off, he is not depressed at all. He has seen the doctor for an evaluation and he is not depressed. He was lai...
A. 2 September 2012: Dear Anom,
After reading your post i felt i needed to reply because i have seen people in similar situations. The first thing i looked at from your post is the age listing.
I have come to realize that some people feel this way when they have wo... (read in full...)
I just started college but have no idea what type of job I want. Any suggestions?
Q. i started college last week and i really like it, i just have no idea what kind of job i would want, i want to do something that i would enjoy ,that would make me a lot of money and doesnt require that much school,i like to work with people and i ...
A. 2 September 2012: Dear Anom,
it seems you are enjoying college and your course work then what you should do is have a talk with career adviser to find out what type of career roles are related to what you are studying now at college. Having a degree matching... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the age difference!
Q. My long distance boyfriend is 18, and im 15. Im still nervous about meeting him and how he will react when seeing me, but not as much now. My mom sorta aproved so far. And i have not told my dad because he dont like me even thinking about boys :/ ...
A. 2 September 2012: Dear Anom,
I am also concerned about the age difference. 3 years may not sound much but at your age those 3 years are significant as the teenage years are the years you develop the fastest and grow into the person you will become. In those te... (read in full...)
I feel like my love for him died.
Q. I had a pregnancy scare a few days ago, I told my bf and I took a test, it came out positive. But, just to be sure I made an appointment for another test. At first, my bf seemed supportive and soothed my nerves. On our way to the appointment though, ...
A. 2 September 2012: Dear Anom,
You are right.
Hugs
Kelly... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to see me as often as I want to see him!
Q. I'm 23, my boyfriend is 26. We've been together a little over 2 months. I would like to see him everyday or at least every other day, but he only wants to hang out maybe 2-3 days a week. We've talked about this, and he has said "You're not my life. ...
A. 2 September 2012: Dear Anom,
To want to be with somebody all the time and thinking they are wonderful is illogical but that is what we all do when first fall in love with someone. That is what love is all about. The fact that he doesn't want to spend all his time... (read in full...)
Why does he pull away when he gets an erection?
Q. hi :) I dont have a major problem but just need some general advice. So iv been going out with a guy for about 3 weeks and we havent had sex yet. we both would like to wait a little until we know each other better. But whenever we cuddle ...
A. 21 August 2011: Dear Anom,
If you both havent had sex before then he is probably nervous/scared. This is something you can talk to him about.
I think the decision that you wait a little is the best one and a wise on for both of you. Focusing on other things ... (read in full...)
He never wants kisses and affection - just sex
Q. I've been dating this guy for about six months. He never wants to kiss (And I am xtra fresh with my breathe, so it's not that), hardly wants to hug but wants sex. He never take me out and the one time he did, I nearly had to beg for it. I keep ...
A. 21 August 2011: Dear Anom,
You should go with Instint on this one. It clearly isnt working out for you.
Hugs
KellyO... (read in full...)
Since my last relationship ended I cannot seem to meet women that I want to stay with
Q. I have been single for just over two years. In this period I have dated six women, which I have not stayed with for more than a month. Before I became single, I was with my ex for 2 and half years. We broke up over a argument and never spoke again. ...
A. 21 August 2011: Dear Anom,
It is always difficult dating and finding the right person. I myself was in a relationship that ended bitterly after 7 years. Because of pressure from friends a year after that I started dating but none seem to work out or last even up ... (read in full...)
He tells me he loves me but tells others that he stays with my out of pity
Q. ok , here it is i've been with my bf for like 11 month now , but last week he left me his laptop since we had a project to finish together he was so dumb to leave his laptop while he knows whats on it, so out of curiosity i checked his chat logs to ...
A. 3 December 2010: Hi Anom,
The question you need to ask yourself is if you can stay with a guys who talks bad about you to his friend behind your back, you cant trust his intentions towards you or his faithfulness.
Is it worth it?
You seem a very nice person... (read in full...)
Just been dumped and it's so hard to let go! Help!
Q. I dated my boyfriend for 1 yr, 9 months, and have lived with him for 1 yr, 4 mos. I left my hometown to move to his small town, not knowing really anyone. He recently broke up with me and I am in the process of moving, reasons being we fight too ...
A. 3 December 2010: Hi Anom,
My advise will be to take some time apart and get your life together. fighting isnt healthy in any relationship and if you do want to salvage what is left you have to take time to think about what the main problems were in the relation... (read in full...)
Pregnant and stressed out, does anyone have any suggestions?
Q. I lost my job because my son was extremely ill and they wouldn't give me personal days to care for him as I'm all he has right now. My bf tried to take his dash apart in his newly purchased 2000 Monte Carlo and he ended up breaking his ign...
A. 3 December 2010: Hi Anom,
I empathize with your situation.
First is it necessary to have a car at the moment. maybe it is possible to use public transport for now or not fix the car until needed or maybe sell it?
Second, maybe it is possible to have a simple jo... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me? I want to help Karma out!
Q. What's wrong with me? I broke up with my bf of 5 years, it has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to go through. A year and a half later and I still feel as if I got kicked in the gut. I caught him cheating, he is now living with the ...
A. 3 December 2010: Hi Anom,
I think you should get over it and move on so that your life doesnt feel with hate. Right now you are spending time thinking of this instead of giving other nice guys out there a chance. Is being a year half and is time to start afresh. ... (read in full...)
Pisces man dumped me, will he ever swim back?
Q. Pisces Man Dumped Me Will He Ever Swim Back? Pisces dumped me He has a lot of girls around as friends and a girl best friend that he used to be with..also they say pisces men are freaks..well its true because he's always saying things about men..how...
A. 3 December 2010: Hi Paridisepassion,
You have to ask yourself what indeed you are looking in a relationship and if it is in line with what he is searching for. Apparently it seems he is not ready for anything serious at the moment and he is more interest... (read in full...)
"He's single, he can do what he wants" I'm told. But in MY house with MY friend?
Q. I'm 20, he's 22. We dated for two years before I broke up with him. Very bad breakup because I ended up dating someone else soon after and he thinks I was cheating on him. I wasn't, he just got really hurt by everything. He has been totally ...
A. 3 December 2010: Hi there,
if i were in your shoes i wouldnt give this guy a single thought anymore. He apparently doesnt respect or care about you and he is not matured enough to be in a any relationship. As your friends says he is indeed single and he can do w... (read in full...)
I know I'm not getting coal for Christmas, is it a ring?
Q. My boyfriend has recently told me he's already bought my xmas gift. This would be our first Christmas together and we've been together about 7 or so months. He even showed what he got me to my family to see if I'd like it. He doesn't understand how ...
A. 9 November 2010: Dear Anom,
Reading through you sound so much of my kid sister she does the same with her boyfriend or when i get her a gift.
Hmmm Jewellery would have been my first guess. But did you mention anything recently to him that you would have really ... (read in full...)
Help, Is my marriage over befor it starts?
Q. Dear Hope, I am 28 years old. I have been with my now husband for 2 months, we have been dating for 5 years prior to getting married. We have had issues in the past, I have gotten bored in the past and end up searching for attention from o...
A. 6 November 2010: Dear Anom,
It is apparent that your marriage wont work out if you continue to flirt with other men. For now you dont act the temptation but is pretty likely it is going to happen soon.
Yes something is wrong. You are married and shouldnt be ... (read in full...)
Never broken up before! How do I do it?
Q. hey. i have a problem. i have been seeing this super nice guy but in all honesty i'm just not that into him. i thought that if i continued seeing him the spark would develop. but obviously it didnt and now im stuck. he is really into me and tries so ...
A. 6 November 2010: Dear Anom,
Be honest and let him know as you said here that you dont have feeling for him and thought initially it developed.
If he has been super nice let him know it has nothing to do with him. In this way he doesnt feel is something he... (read in full...)
| *ellyO's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ellyO has
added them and they have added *ellyO!
|
