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... Send *ellyO a private message | | | *ellyO's profile:Thanks for coming to my column. Yes, i have been there but i am now happily married and i feel with my experiences in life, love and marriage i can help others. I am also a manager in an engineering firm so i can possibly help with some career advice. I am a much softer person in real life so my friends say, but i cant help but tell you the truth because my wish is to help you make the best decision.
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My boyfriend seems to be somewhere else when I go see him, said he would change as he loves me but hasnt, im confused!
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for just under 2 years and throughout the relationship we have had our ups and downs but lately i've felt so ignored by him whenever i go to see him, like he doesn't want me there. i confronted him about it on monday ...
A. 24 July 2006: Hi lozza,
What i would advise you to do is give him space.There is really nothing more you can do.You cant get him to do anything he doesnt want to and he has already admitted that he does ignore you.
I know all this is difficult and yo... (read in full...)
He didnt give me the change from the car parts he got, then said he forget I think its stealing he says not!
Q. I have been dating a guy and he has been staying at my house off and on. The situation is that I gave $100 to get some parts for my car(they ended up costing $40). He claims he "forgot to give me my change and was holding on to it, but yet he spent ...
A. 24 July 2006: Hi there,
I dont think you are being petty. It was wrong of him to have spent your money without asking.I think stealing is rather a harsh term to describe it though because you did give him the money afterall and he used it for the exact purpose ... (read in full...)
It's been weeks and still can't get over her!!
Q. Hi, I went out with this girl a few years back, initially she seemed ok but over a period of time I started liking her more and more and eventually fell in love, but as soon as it was apparant I was in love with her she started turning away from...
A. 20 July 2006: Hi fred,
You posting is a very sincere one. You said it was more like a bruising of pride and i can relate with that. The one thing i would not let anyone do to me is see that becos of them i couldnt move on. That is the satisfaction u cant giv... (read in full...)
We're supposed to move in together... so why won't he get the ball rolling?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 20 months. We are planning to move to a new city to start our new life together in a couple of months. But he just doesn't seem bothered in starting our new life together. He said he is bothered but doesn't make ...
A. 20 July 2006: what i would do is leave him to make most of the arrangements..allow him look for the flats and all the other arrangements at his own time except he wants u involved and asks for your help. Let him know this is what u would do. Since he has assured ... (read in full...)
We were very, very much in love but he's marrying someone else!
Q. I need a lot of help... I have been seeing a guy for 1.5yrs. We were very, very much in love with each other. Since I was going through a break-up when we first met, he had to convince me a lot to be with him and give him a chance. After about 6 ...
A. 20 July 2006: Hi dearie,
There is little u can do about this if he has decided to go ahead and marry her. He shouldnt use you as excuse though. He made this decision based on his needs, his financial gains and comfort. He is selfish and isnt thinking about u ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks i'm having it off with a Priest!!
Q. My husband hates the fact I am friendly with our parish priest. He has gone into a rage cos he saw me talking to him in the town and accused me of sleeping with him. I like the priest as a friend and feel nothing towards him in a sexual way. In my ...
A. 20 July 2006: Well dear i see your point really. I would be very offended myself especially if nothing is going on. Seems your husband doesnt trust the priest for some reason. You did mention in your posting that you have other male friends and he doesnt seem to ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks i'm having it off with a Priest!!
Q. My husband hates the fact I am friendly with our parish priest. He has gone into a rage cos he saw me talking to him in the town and accused me of sleeping with him. I like the priest as a friend and feel nothing towards him in a sexual way. In my ...
A. 20 July 2006: Well dear i see your point really. I would be very offended myself especially if nothing is going on. Seems your husband doesnt trust the priest for some reason. You did mention in your posting that you have other male friends and he doesnt seem to ... (read in full...)
How can i prove to my parents that don't need their help?
Q. I hate myself sometimes because my parents are always helping me with my life. It can be alright sometimes but mostly especially now that I'm 18 it starts to annoy me. I'm doing the opposite or something different to what my parents want because I ...
A. 20 July 2006: Hiya,
Let me console you by telling you i felt the same way myself.Mine was very bad and i need to share it with you.My parents didnt want me to study engineering they thought it was too much stress but i rebelled and went ahead. I am my parents ... (read in full...)
Will guys care that I have braces? Are they worth it?
Q. I have a pretty bad overbite, and at the end of next month i will be getting braces. But i am really worried that once i get them i am never going to have a boyfriend. And that may sound weird, but it's the decideing factor in weither i am going to ...
A. 19 July 2006: Hi dearie,
Truthfully it depends on the particular guy. I am afraid we have alot of different people in this world now and have lost the idea of what is important And being a teenager that age realm is not easy since you have alot to deal with. Su... (read in full...)
Scared that shes hanging out with the ex and will get back with him, as we have only dated a short time!
Q. alright, so seeing a girl for about 3 weeks now, and moving along quite fast. so she says she cant hang out this week because she is with her best friend on monday (which i promote, never give up friends) and again with another friend on tuesda...
A. 19 July 2006: Hi Yohanson,
I understand how u feel no one wants to see an ex lying at the background of their relationship.
I must tell u though it depends really on how frequent she cotacts him if perhaps once in a week or two weeks then there is cause f... (read in full...)
She broke up with me but wants me back... I'm not sure what to do! Any advice welcome
Q. hi i've been going out with a girl for a year.she lives in my home town but we started going out while i was at university.i came home every weekend as she had to work and i couldnt live without her. holidays were realy good but term time wa...
A. 19 July 2006: Hi E,
I do understand how u feel. No one can really make that decision for you, because we are sure bound to have different opinion.But,if i was in your position though i would give her another chance. Relationship is all about risk and sometime... (read in full...)
I hardly know her but she confided in me that shes pregnant, what should I do ?
Q. When i was in a lesson the other day. A girl who sits next to me who i don't know that well. And have only started talking to her through this subject told me that she thought she might be pregnant. I didn't believe her to begin with but i think ...
A. 19 July 2006: Hi dearie,
I must say you are a very thoughtful friend and i can see from your posting that you sincerely want to help this girl.I can see she is in a very confusing situation and feels she has no one else to turn to.
First,you need to advise h... (read in full...)
I can't work out whether my friend is interested in me or not! Should I wait?
Q. I am close friends with a guy. He said he was going into city on his day off. He said he was going there to ‘sort some stuff out’. What does he mean by this? I’m sure he hasn’t got another girl because he is still hung up on his ex girlfriend ...
A. 18 July 2006: Hi there,
First, I have to point out that his being erratic and impulsive is who he is really and you have to decide whether you can cope with that if you two decide to date much later. This is a bearing in your relationship now that is clear fo... (read in full...)
I do love him as a friend
Q. i have fallen out with all of my friends, its awful. the main reason that we have fallen out is that my best friend (male) who has a girlfriend told me he loved me and he now has finished with his girlfriend and we are now together. the problem is ...
A. 18 July 2006: Hi dearie,
I think it will be fair to let this guy know that you dont have any feelings for him other than that of a friend.You shouldnt try and hang on to him because you feel you have lost all your other friends.That wont be fair on him. I k... (read in full...)
I want to get over, but still remain in touch with my ex
Q. Can you really get over with being contact with your ex? I dont want to lose contact, as he does not want either, so he asked me to keep contact and never lost touch when we broke up 3 months ago, but I just found it was so hard to really move o...
A. 18 July 2006: Hi
Whilst it is good sometimes to maintain contact with your ex to find out how he/she is, you have to decide if you can cope with that. For you it obviously isnt working this way so it might be advisable either to limit contact to barely m... (read in full...)
I am really confused, what did I do wrong?
Q. Hi I am really so unlucky with the love bit. I met a new man and we have been texting each other and occasionally he has come to see me at my home. 2 weeks ago we spent a lovely weekend together (we never had sex) but it felt like we were so ...
A. 18 July 2006: Hi sparklygem,
You didnt do anything wrong. He needed you and you were there for him which was very thoughtful on your part. He was the one that asked for you to be there for him and you did. Please dont beat yourself about it.The problem is with ... (read in full...)
I am a virgin, he wants sex, and I don't know if he loves me
Q. I have been seeing my b/f for 4 months now and he has now started to talk a lot about sex and become a lot more physical towards me! He has never made me feel uncomfortable and i have only done anything that i wanted with him, but now it is coming t...
A. 17 July 2006: Hi dearie,
If i was in your position i would tell him that i am a virgin. That would be one of the test for his love for you because if he really does care he would appreciate that about you and try to be understanding. You also have to access y... (read in full...)
I am a virgin, he wants sex, and I don't know if he loves me
Q. I have been seeing my b/f for 4 months now and he has now started to talk a lot about sex and become a lot more physical towards me! He has never made me feel uncomfortable and i have only done anything that i wanted with him, but now it is coming t...
A. 17 July 2006: Hi dearie,
If i was in your position i would tell him that i am a virgin. That would be one of the test for his love for you because if he really does care he would appreciate that about you and try to be understanding. You also have to access y... (read in full...)
What Should I do?
Q. I recently hooked up with someone I like a lot, although he is "talking" to someone else right now. My friend asked him what he was going to do between both of us and he replied "I dont know, I'm "in love" with both of these girls." After the ...
A. 17 July 2006: Hi dearie,
For me I really dont think this guy is ready for a normal relationship with commitment, the type i can see you desire from your posting.For now,he just thrives on the attention he is getting and isnt ready to change that.What you have... (read in full...)
Are these text messages saying that she is cheating on me? What should I do?
Q. Hi, I am in big crisis. I have been with my girlfriend for 16 months now. I'm 23 years old and so is she. I stayed over her house last night, and in the morning while she was taking a shower, I checked her text messages on her phone. Now I kn...
A. 17 July 2006: For me what i would do is do a little bit of investigation to get that extra confirmation that my partner is indeed cheating. All fingers point directly to this though but as you said you didnt really get the exact details of what the text was all ... (read in full...)
My friend seems on a downhill slide and I'm really worried about her!
Q. Hi, I'm worried about my mate. We are both 23. Last year she lost her job. She went really depressed but seemed better when she got a new man. When we talk on the phone I ask her how the job search is going. I go out looking for jobs for her. W...
A. 13 July 2006: Hi there,
You are a great friend and have tried alot for her than you can realised.You have gotten her jobs from friends and she doesnt bother means she isnt making an effort to do something about her life.She is past 21 now and could at least tr... (read in full...)
I don't want to wait years for my friend to get over his ex, but if he'd ask me to be his girlfriend, that'd be fine!
Q. Where to start? Been friends with this guy since the beginning of the year. We ended up kissing recently, but thankfully he put a stop to it because he was still confused over his feelings for his ex. We had a talk a few days later and I told him ...
A. 12 July 2006: Hi there,
what i am really uncomfortable with is guys that tell one there are confused over feelings for an ex. If a guy isnt still sure whether or not he still has feelings for his ex then that means she can perhaps just walk back into his life... (read in full...)
He's wonderful, I like him immensely, and he's involved with someone! Should I wait around?
Q. Hi, I know this must be a common problem. There is a guy who I have known for 2 years, and well I like him immensely, and we have become a closer and bonded recently. The problem is he is involved with someone, but does not see a future with her. I...
A. 12 July 2006: Hi there,
I really dont think it is a good idea to wait around for him really. He is involved with someone else. Alot of my friends(both females and males) initially claimed they didnt see futures with their spouses when they started going ou... (read in full...)
My soulmate is married to someone else...
Q. My soulmate is married to someone else. I am trying so hard to let him go so I can move on. Let me explain briefly why I feel he is my soulmate. When I was a teenager (I am now in my late 20's), we had a very strong connection and he would often ...
A. 12 July 2006: Hi dear,
Whilst i feel you sincerely have stronger attraction/feelings towards this guy i sincerely dont believe he feels exactly the same way as you. Dont get me wrong i know he has sone feelings for you because both of you must have been ver... (read in full...)
She's become distant, what should I do?
Q. my new freind an i were becoming very close in friendship terms but recently she has become very distant. we have not had a disagreement in anyway. its seems as if she doesn't want anything more to do with me. any ideas why?...
A. 10 July 2006: Hi dearie,
I'm not sure why.Not everyone can be close friends as we all have different ideas/view points relating to issues. Some people even become close friends because they have certain things in common.
what i would do is give her abit of ... (read in full...)
He went back to his ex, but now he wants me back....what should I do?
Q. I am young and in love. And its a mess. I dated a guy for 3 weeks, but about a month if you count one week we were friends with benefits. I had always had bad luck with relationships, but with him things were different. We actually worked out and ...
A. 10 July 2006: I wouldnt trust him if i were you. I am sorry to say this because i know you wanted to hear more but he seems the type i have met and have thought me a lesson or two in my past adolescent years never to fall in love or trust someone who still has ... (read in full...)
We're talking marriage, but I don't wan to shift from my son's school, and my guy won't consider any move from his village!
Q. I've been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for 4 months. He lives an hours' drive from me. This weekend we talked about marriage. He would like us to get engaged. I was thrilled. I have a son who he knows that I would not move from his high...
A. 10 July 2006: For me i think this is a little disagreemnt that doesnt needs to be taken overboard.I dont think he is trying to be selfish at all that is far from it.
You should try and see thinks from your partner perspective as well. He seems to love his vill... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's not been acting the same lately!
Q. I wanted to know... well lately my boyfriend has not been acting the same. He always has an excuse on why he didn't call back or when we are on the phone he's really not paying me any attention. Or he says 'let me call you right back' and it will be ...
A. 6 July 2006: Hi dearie,
I know this will perhaps be difficult for you to take but my own advise for you is that you should try and relax. Dont read too many meanings into every call delay or responses.There could be many reasons that can explain why he forgo... (read in full...)
My partner changes when he drinks and he's making my life unbearable...
Q. I moved to another country to be with the one I love. I have been alone (not unhappy and by choice) for 20 years. I put everything financial and emotional into this relationship and I am dying inside. He tells me he loves me all day, he is lovin...
A. 6 July 2006: Hi dearie,i empathize with your situation. You are really in a tight one, being in another country far away from home with different rules to situations.it is up to you to decide and i can help but been fair and allow you to weigh your sitaution.
... (read in full...)
Tough times in my life, but no one to talk to!
Q. I am having a really tough time. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I just found out that my uncle passed away and he and I were really close! I am not doing OK. I feel like I have no one to talk to or that no one cares and I'm sick of it. I...
A. 5 July 2006: Hi
Sometimes our friends and family members find it difficult to approach us when we are down. perhaps it will be better to try and relax a little around them and encourage that closeness. You might get to know that some might really care.
... (read in full...)
Got dumped by my BF because I was a "terrible kisser". Now I'm worried about my kissing skills!
Q. hey um.. This is kinda awkward for me. I've never done this before, liked asked a question like this. I'm really inexperienced and this guy I'm with knows every trick in the book (if you get my meaning). I'm worried that I'll put him off becuase ...
A. 5 July 2006: Hi dearie, my advise for you is that you should try and relax when he wants to kiss you. The attraction and chemistry will lead you on and it will come naturally. Dont try to force it.
They are a tonnes or reasons why the last kiss didnt flow. Co... (read in full...)
Does true love mean you can forgive your lover for *anything* !?
Q. Does Love, I mean Real Love mean that you can forgive your lover for anything and be able to move on together and make that love work or does it mean just love while things are good and when they are bad you just up and run?...
A. 5 July 2006: Hi,
Good question. from my personal understanding of real/true love it is something genuine and sincere. a true love is someone truly or really beloved, a sweetheart and a faithful lover.
It isnt real possible to have someone that meets our p... (read in full...)
I think I should hate him for saying terrible things, but I still like him!
Q. I really fancy this guy and he was being really nice to me and everything, like being a good friend and messing around with me and sticking up for me in front of other people. Then one day at school his friend was really nasty to me and when he ...
A. 5 July 2006: Hi,
No you arent a horrible person at all. I think infact you are a very nice person but i will encourage you to be nice and firm.
From you posting i can see that you are a person who care with all your heart which isnt suppose to be a bad thin... (read in full...)
I want him to be sorry for using me...
Q. I dumped my boyfriend as I found out he was just having fun and using me. How do I make him regret driving me away?? ...
A. 5 July 2006: You best bet is to move on and make yourself the best of what you can be in all ways both careerwise and also look for someone else that will treat you much better and is twice the man that he is.For me that will be the greatest revenge so that when ... (read in full...)
Should I "walk on by"... their house?
Q. Ive just found out that my ex has recently bought a house with his new girlfriend. Im shocked and feel upset as I didnt realise they were that serious. My ex split up with me for her a year ago now, and at the time it was the most painful experien...
A. 3 July 2006: Hi bobbyJo,
I know it is disheartening when u see someone u love with another but you shouldnt let that get to you. I know it is difficult since he is the same neighbourhood but u have to channel your feelings towards other things and people. ... (read in full...)
I'm over my feelings for my best friend, why can't my boyfriend understand that?
Q. My boyfriend’s best friend is also my best friend. But three weeks ago this whole tragedy happened where my boyfriend and I were having problems and my best friend was on break with his girlfriend and having problems of his own and we hung out ...
A. 3 July 2006: Hi ruby_candy,
If you say your boyfriend and best friend are that close and u feel they wouldnt want to loose each other then perhaps it will be better if you allow them work on their friendship by themselves. You dont have to entirely loose yo... (read in full...)
She yo-yos between her ex and me and the cycle is breaking my heart!
Q. I feel like I'm always walking on thin ice here. I met a woman at work. She was in a relationship for six years with the same man. It all began by us going golfing on the weekends together while her boyfriend was at work. I respect people that are ...
A. 29 June 2006: Hi lostleo,
In a way even though you didnt mean to you sort of got yourself involved in a steady relationship between two folks for 6yrs.THis might be the problem becos it seems girlfriend still feels abit of devotion to her ex.
my advise for... (read in full...)
I'm over my feelings for my best friend, why can't my boyfriend understand that?
Q. My boyfriend’s best friend is also my best friend. But three weeks ago this whole tragedy happened where my boyfriend and I were having problems and my best friend was on break with his girlfriend and having problems of his own and we hung out ...
A. 29 June 2006: It's obvious your boyfriend's confidence in your friendship with your best friend took a huge knock when you both of you had a brief interest with one another. As a result he has become more insecured.who wouldnt be really?
You have to weigh th... (read in full...)
My ex's new girlfriend doesn't like the fact that we're friends now. Should I just sever ties with him?
Q. Hi there. I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years a year ago. He relocated back to his home town, met and moved in with someone else depressingly quickly. I felt like I had finally let go when he called to let me know that his mother had...
A. 27 June 2006: Hi there, i am afraid it is really your decision to make whether or not to remain friends or not with your ex. For me i usually decide to remain friends or not depending on how d relationship ended or how he treated me throughout the relationship.
... (read in full...)
He met the parents... And they hate him.
Q. I need help ASAP. My boyfriend and I have been dating eachother for about 4 months. About 2 weeks ago, he met my parents. We are 19 and 22- incase that changes any advice. Well, he liked my parents and thought they were okay, while my parents acted ...
A. 26 June 2006: Hi.
I am sorry that your parents didnt warm up towards your boyfriend as you had hoped.I had a friend that went through the same situation. Her own parents didnt approve because he was from a poor background why she is from an extremely rich and... (read in full...)
He does little things to hurt me and is scared to let us go any further - how do I get him interested again?
Q. I started a relationship with someone via text messages. We met up and things got very serious over a period of 2 weeks then all of a sudden he went cold and started ignoring me by not texting back, making little snide remarks to hurt me and ...
A. 25 June 2006: Hi there,
My own advise for now is that you should give him space.He obviously doesnt want to continue the relationship especially at the pace it was going.If you try to push him things will only get rough. You have already indicated that he is fl... (read in full...)
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