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... Send *ellyO a private message | | | *ellyO's profile:Thanks for coming to my column. Yes, i have been there but i am now happily married and i feel with my experiences in life, love and marriage i can help others. I am also a manager in an engineering firm so i can possibly help with some career advice. I am a much softer person in real life so my friends say, but i cant help but tell you the truth because my wish is to help you make the best decision.
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My online bf asked me for advice if he should go back to his ex gf. I was shocked and hurt!
Q. Hi Everyone, bear with me on the length of this one but i need some serious advice. I've been having an online long distance relationship with a guy i went out with last december. For the entire year we spoke everyday on the phone, IM etc, after 2 ...
A. 22 December 2005: Thanks dear for sendiing me this message to let me know how everything is going. I have thought about u ever since and hoped everything was fine.
I think you should give him an ear and listen to what he has to say. But please be careful because ... (read in full...)
My neighbour is a great friend, but she's wearing out her welcome!
Q. I have a great neighbour as a friend. Unfortunately she is beginning to vist us at least twice a week and waits right up until dinner is being served up so that you feel you have to ask her if she wants some. I want to keep her friendship, I en...
A. 21 December 2005: Hi Virginiacc, u have got yourself in a tight situation here. i would be confused myself.
If u do value her friendship then u have to be careful what u say to her.This is just my opinion really but what i would do if its getting late is to tell ... (read in full...)
I'm young, studying law and have my whole life ahead of me. But all I want is a baby!
Q. I need some advice - I'm going mad! I'm 18 years old and I am at university studying law. I have a great family, loads of friends and a great boyfriend. But I really want a baby!! I've wanted one on and off since I was 13 and now I really want to...
A. 21 December 2005: Dear, you must know that having a baby is a huge responsibility. u have to think alot about this because it wouldnt be fair to your baby to bring it into the world and not able to care for it.
I know u really want this but what u have to think ab... (read in full...)
He doesn't reply to my texts, even though he said everything's OK. Should I just forget him?
Q. Hi I'm a very confused girl at the moment. This boy that I've been kinda seeing has just come home from America for Christmas after been gone for 2 months. He rang me from America and everything seemed fine between us, but since he has come home...
A. 21 December 2005: Hi dear, so sorry he has come back for 3 days and hasnt even bothered to contact u. You should be the first person he should call. I mean he should be eager to call.
My advise is that if u r sure he got your messages then wait for him to respond.... (read in full...)
He loves me and his ex gf.. but now he's confused and he's not sure what he wants.
Q. I'm in love with a man that's in love with me and another woman from his past. He says that he's confused and he's not sure what he wants. He loves me but he loves her to. This has been going on for about 2 months. About 2wks ago he told me that he ...
A. 21 December 2005: Dear, i am sorry u are going through now.
My own advise is that u either leave or should give this guy space.Tell him u love him but he should be able to decide between you and this girl and stick with the decision once and for all. Leave hi... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much of my partner to give me more compliments... Is it right to ask him to change?
Q. Hi everyone, I have an otherwise good relationship with my partner. We have been together for two years and living together for 18 months of that. He says he loves me and I believe that he does, but he is not very good at articulating his...
A. 21 December 2005: Dearie, u are right everyone wants compliment from their partners whether they are a male or female. I agree with others here there are alot of people that arent verbal. You have to encourage him, i see him as the type that really wants to improve ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she loves me as a friend but does she really like me?
Q. i am in a very complicated relationship. i dont know where its at or where its going, my girlfriend cant seem to make her mind up about me, our relation ship has been on and off for about the last 5 months.one week were going out the next were ...
A. 21 December 2005: Hi dear, i dont think this girl is treating u right. You obviously arent happy in this relationship.If she had a rough relationship doesnt give her the right to take it on you. I had a very rough myself and i am not taking it out on my new ... (read in full...)
Can I love someone but date someone else?
Q. hi, i broke up with my boyfriend and planning to see someone else. but i can't forget my ex. our's was a mutual and a friendly break up. no hard feelings.i feel this new person is nice and don't want to hurt him. can i love some one and date som...
A. 21 December 2005: Dearie, it would have been useful to state how long you broke up from your ex. you obviously still seem to have alot of issues you still need to deal with. Have u had time to reflect on your previously relationship to ask yourself what went wrong so ... (read in full...)
My friend let on about my secret relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid, This lad and I have kind of a secret relationship going on, we've not done anything but there have been talks that we would. So my best friend, who was telling me about her boy trouble so I told her what was going on. She said she woul...
A. 21 December 2005: Dear, I dont think its cool your best friend decided to tell your secret after u told her not to. She is your best friend and that is what she is there for to share things.
You mentioned here she also tells u about her relationship so i can unde... (read in full...)
Trying to win the heart of the girl I want. Should I go all-out on New Years Eve?
Q. There's a girl I'm crazy about and was told by her friends that she likes me. We get on like a house on fire. But when I asked her out she said it was too soon, cause she had just broke up with someone. But she wishes she was ready. Then we kissed ...
A. 21 December 2005: Dear, i agree with all the guys here. You have a upper hand being her friend just dont rush her. Show her cool side.
All the best.... (read in full...)
My home is a battleground..my wife and my oldest son are bickering all the time!
Q. I am 35 years old and have been married for 10 years now. I have 3 kids the oldest is 11 and from a relationship the other 2 are with my wife. For the past couple years things have been pretty bad at home fighting, bickering, major tension between ...
A. 20 December 2005: If u feel you wife is maltreating your son in any way then u have to take him away from the environment.
Goodluck... (read in full...)
Caught him kissing another girl and I sent him packing...but I miss him!
Q. a couple of days ago i found out my boyfriend was all over and kissing a girl in a night club.ive sent him packing but the thing is this is massively life changing for me.we have been together for 3 years and have a daughter together and i do love ...
A. 20 December 2005: You have caught him before and he has done it again i dont think he will change. Find a decent man who will be devoted to you and your kid. why should u even be missing him.If u insist u must go back at least make it tough on him a few days and ... (read in full...)
My home is a battleground..my wife and my oldest son are bickering all the time!
Q. I am 35 years old and have been married for 10 years now. I have 3 kids the oldest is 11 and from a relationship the other 2 are with my wife. For the past couple years things have been pretty bad at home fighting, bickering, major tension between ...
A. 20 December 2005: Hi there, I feel for you. Obviously your kid isnt accepting your wife in his life. You mentioned u feel the other two kids can do no wrong does that mean u feel she doesnt care for him cos he isnt hers?Do u really feel your wife is really that sort ... (read in full...)
Are there any differences that come along with dating a black guy?
Q. Are there any major differences between a spanish female and a black male who date? I'm dating a black guy right now and he is very sweet, but are there any differences that come along with dating a black guy? I've only dated an egyptian guy and ...
A. 20 December 2005: Hi dear, I am not sure. I always thought its just a matter of skin color. Some people are good and nice,others are bad depending on the individual not race or colour. i really dont think it has anything to do with the skin pigments.I have few ... (read in full...)
How do I build a stronger relationship with my bf's parents and show them I am a quality person.
Q. How do I build a stronger relationship with my bf's parents and family? I'm shy and I get insecure around them and unsure about what to do with myself when they are around and I don't want them to think I'm off-putting or there jsut to eat their ...
A. 20 December 2005: Hi dear, i would advise u to just be urself. They should get know and like the person you are. Treat them with respect like you would do your own parents.
Take care and stay true.
... (read in full...)
'm busy with our 5 kids-and he treats me like crap. Help- I need his respect and love.
Q. I have been married for 4 years. We have 2 children and I take care of his other 3. I am 27 years old. I am a very busy person with no outlet for letting go. My stress level is to the roof. I get no help with the kids or anything for that matter. He ...
A. 20 December 2005: Hi there, firstly i would like to commend u cos u r a strong woman working with five kids must be pretty tough.
You could talk to him about it.Communication also keeps. I think both of u are really strained here and the tension is building... (read in full...)
I love him but he treats me badly..then always apologizes. I am so tired of his temper!
Q. Here goes,I can't tolerate it anymore.I wrote about my 5 months relationship with my bf earlier on. It's gone over the limit now. I seriously am in love with him, but I feel it isn't really the same for him. I have given my best in this relationship ...
A. 20 December 2005: I agree with caramala. How long can u keep going on here. U are obviously very sad even to the attempt of wanting to commit sucide.please seek help from friends, family members and crisis centres.
You have to be strong and walk away from this. i ... (read in full...)
My online bf asked me for advice if he should go back to his ex gf. I was shocked and hurt!
Q. Hi Everyone, bear with me on the length of this one but i need some serious advice. I've been having an online long distance relationship with a guy i went out with last december. For the entire year we spoke everyday on the phone, IM etc, after 2 ...
A. 20 December 2005: Hi dear, u seem really distraught. i am sorry.
Firstly, a year was a long time to stay away from each other. Was there a reason for this? Anyway it doesnt matter now but i just choose to mention it just incase u find urself in this position... (read in full...)
Worried over my exam grades-are my future career prospects in jeopardy?
Q. Please help me. I am 13 years old, about to take my SAT's exams, and in a year, my GCSE's. We recently had a maths test in school, a mock SAT's paper, and I did very badly, 25 out of 60, everyone else was getting in the 50's. I am so worried ab...
A. 20 December 2005: Dear, firstly i must commend u for u writing skills your letter seems really coherent for a 13 yr old.
I can probably help u abit becos i used to have the same problem in school and i also taught for awhile in a volunteer program after my first... (read in full...)
Can't feel good about my post-childbirth body, even though my boyfriend still says I'm sexy. I just don't feel sexy!
Q. I recently had a baby about 4 months ago. I appreciate what my body has done to bring my baby into the world but I just feel really unsexy now that I droop and hang and have all the stretch marks. My bf says he still finds me sexy but he looks at...
A. 19 December 2005: dear, i know its always difficult going back to shape after child birth.
What i suggest u should do is join a gymn. U seem like u r really determined to do this and i know that before u know it ur body will be looking bootylicious again. I used t... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants experience with other men! What do I do?
Q. My younger girlfriend says she loves me, but wants to get as much experience as me. I've had ten partners, she only two and she says thats unfair. She says it will just be for sexual experience and won't hurt our relationship. She wants me to agree ...
A. 19 December 2005: Its obvious this girl isnt taking u and the relationship serious at all. How old is she? she obviously isnt maturedd enough to know what a relationship is all about.she says wants more sexual experiences with different partners at least 8 more ... (read in full...)
She says she still loves me but can't move back in because I'll "never change"!
Q. I have been with my g/f for over 2 years, we argue a lot, but I feel that we do love one another. The other day we got in an arguemnt over the phone. She didn't come home, and went to her dad's house. On the phone she keeps saying "You won't change. ...
A. 19 December 2005: Hi dear, u seem to have cause alot of heartache for this girl. i am happy u have admitted it but the problem is that she doesnt feel things will change. There is nothing u can do here, the decision to come back to you is entirely hers.if u still ... (read in full...)
When my guy gets depressed, he breaks it off with me...
Q. I think my ex is depressed. He just broke up with me for the 3rd time in 2 years. This time he told me he needs to get back on his feet, but can't juggle that and a relationship at the same time. I am 24 and he is 25. I love him more than anything...
A. 19 December 2005: Dear, i feel for u. The truth is i dont like this guy pattern of always wanting to break up with you when then is a problem u shouldnt encourage and put up with that.He is exhibiting instability in the relationship if he does that.
There are alwa... (read in full...)
Is there really such a thing as "Love At First Sight"?
Q. I'm 32 and divorced and in a relationship but.....a guy I met a few weeks into my new relationship keeps popping up in my life. I'm sad to say that I have cheated with this guy twice in the last few months and then we called it off. However in the ...
A. 19 December 2005: Love at first site is not the point. u should sit down and think bout what u want in a relationship why are entangling yourself in web here, do u want to get hurt?... (read in full...)
I don't see my girlfriend apart from at work!
Q. Ok, here goes... my girlfriend and I have been going out for about 6 months. I hardly see her out side work because she has fibromyagia and this time of year isn't nice to her. Still she doesn't call, visit or write. The only time I see or here from ...
A. 18 December 2005: I think eyeswideopen hits the nails at the head here. If u cant see her apart from work, no calls or visits then am afraid there is nothing there but friendship. The best thing is to have a talk with her to find out whether she is still interested. ... (read in full...)
Should he say he loves me?
Q. I know he loves me, but... he just won't say. We've been going out for almost 2.5 years. We're both divorced and neither of us want more kids (ours from previous marrages are grown). I light up when he's around. He makes my heart sing. He says ...
A. 18 December 2005: Hi dearie, U have to ask yourself what u really want in a relationship. This guy obviously have feelings for you but he doesnt want to commit. That is the reason he isnt confessing his love for you.
The choice is yours really.If u want more to ... (read in full...)
What are the guys on dating sites really after??
Q. I'm confused!! I have had 3 relationships within the past three months that all seem to have the same outcome. At first I feel really excited and happy within the relationship, but within a few weeks of it i start to feel I suppose a little insecure ...
A. 18 December 2005: Hi dear, there is nothing wrong with you. I am afraid there are alot of people using the internet basically for their sexual exploits. There are still the decent ones out there that are sincerely looking for partners, but r not easy to come by.
... (read in full...)
Should I give up on her??
Q. There is this girl that I have liked for ages and she has said on many occassions that she likes me too. Just recently she told me she really wanted to be with me but she is scared that it wont work out. I told her not to be scared and that we ...
A. 18 December 2005: Hi dearie, my own opinion really is that u should leave her alone at least for now. U have tried all your best to let her know how u feel and have been patient and understanding with her all this while. Just give her space and sees what happens.
I... (read in full...)
I feel like a failure as all I've done is work for my folks
Q. help, im really annoyed,and frustrated, im 22yrs old, yes i am still starting my life, when i finished school i went to work with my folks straight away, as i felt that i wanted to work and earn myself a living, right, that didn't exactly work out. ...
A. 18 December 2005: Hi dear, you are definetly not a failure. count the things u have achieved so far. Firstly u have a high sch cert there are so many people that dont have that. second u have been able to acquire alot of experience even though u havent got a college ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being my husband's maid and "mother"!
Q. I have been married for almost three years now and I am not attracted to my husband like I used to be. It's not because of his looks, it's the fact that he has become so lazy. I have to constintly clean up after him and nag him to get anything done. ...
A. 18 December 2005: Dear, there are alot of hubby like that am afraid. you are not entirely alone on this i have alot of friends that are in the same position as u.
You just have to get him involve in the housework. Put your foot down and tell him how u feel. I ... (read in full...)
When I asked my husband what he liked about my body he replied "hands and feet" !
Q. Im hoping some of you wonderful people can give me some input on this one. As you will know from my previous post my husband made it very clear that he found porn stars more attractive than me. Since this problem came out in the open he has ...
A. 18 December 2005: Hi dear, u should indeed put him in his place too. start commenting on guys u see on the tv set when u r all alone watching films .Also go out and have a makeover so that u can build on your own esteem. If u r slightly overweight join a gymn ... (read in full...)
My husband tells me he loves me and doesn't want a divorce... but he won't leave his girlfriend!
Q. My husband and I have been separated for nearly 3 months now and despite all that has happened (he cheated and became very nasty) I am still in love with him, miss him and care very much for him. Over the time we have been getting closer again, b...
A. 18 December 2005: Hi dear, i feel for you. I am abit angry with your husband here cos this just reminds me of my past. Please what he is doing to u is so unfair to you and so wrong.How can he want to keep both u and his lover. His childhood is no excuse. If he still ... (read in full...)
Am I too needy or is my boyfriend being cold?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, we plan on getting married when i graduate from college. we are in a long distance relationship and he plans on moving back in march. the phone is our way of communicating and i feel that we should ...
A. 18 December 2005: No you are not crazy. that's the problem with long distance relationship u just feel u need reassurances all the time cos the person is not within arms length.U also want to maintain that connection u too have together.I have been in a long distance ... (read in full...)
How long is too long to wait for a relationship?
Q. We are only platonic friends but I want more out of the relationship. For several months now, I would say that there is only a handful of days that I had not hung out with him. All of our mutual friends want us to date (I want to date him and ...
A. 18 December 2005: You obviously arent happy here. 9 months indeed seems like a pretty long time for him to move on.Why not talk to him again let him know u really sad with the way things are between u too and that u really do love him and want more to the ... (read in full...)
We fight a couple of times a month. Is that healthy?
Q. Cupid: Hi, my boyfriend and I fight like 2, maybe 3 times a month. Is that healthy? And it's not no little fight either; we usually go at each other worse than cats and dogs. What should I do?...
A. 17 December 2005: No its not healthy my dear. try and figure out what causes the problem and both of you should work on it. wishing u the best. ... (read in full...)
He has another gf and won't make a decison between her and I.
Q. I have got involved with my best friend, but he is also seeing someone else. They have been seeing each other for over 3 years, but they lives miles apart and only see each other on holiday, snatched days etc because she lives with her partner. ...
A. 17 December 2005: Hi dear, I think u have made the right decision by telling him he has to make a definite choice between the two of you. You have shown alot of maturity in this aspects. Its now time for you to put your foot down and be strong. am not saying u should ... (read in full...)
I had a sexless marriage until my sexy scrabble playing webcam girl turned up... But now she's found someone else!
Q. dear cupid-I've been married 23 yrs to a good woman.however we are mostly :"freinds" now.About totally sexless. @ yrs ago I was playing games on the net when a woamn asked me to paly w/ her & freind.it was "dirty scrabble".had a blast. I was ...
A. 17 December 2005: Hi there. its obvious this girl doesnt want anything serious with u. am afraid u meet so many people like that on the internet. she has not only avoid meeting u in the flesh but has also started a relationship with someone else. well this is my ... (read in full...)
Is it just my boyfriend's stepmom who's getting in the way of our living together?
Q. My boyfriend and I are supposed to move in together, but I haven't heard from him in 10 days. Then I heard that he was leaving the house, he was living in with his stepmom. They keep telling me he doesn't love me, but when I talk to him he tells me...
A. 17 December 2005: Hi there, the best thing for u to do here is talk to this guy and ask him to be honest with you cos u love him very well and dont want to loose him. let him explain what happened to make him change the plan of u too moving in together. dont jump to ... (read in full...)
Am I just too nice to my girlfriend?
Q. Is it possible to be too much of a nice guy...(wishy washy)? Could that drive a girl away, even if she says that all her exes were assholes compared to me?...
A. 17 December 2005: Hi there, being yourself is always the best in a relationship. if u r a nice guy all the better. u must understand that if ur gf is used to being with "assholes" as u termed them she could feel u r too good to be real. the best thing to do is reach ... (read in full...)
I met another guy..how do I split up with my current bf peacefully, with no hassles?
Q. hi everyone. i dont really know what to do. i am 22 and i am in a relationship of 5 years and have cheated on my boyfriend. i have never done this before. a new guy started at work and we both knew we had chemistry straight away. so there was ...
A. 16 December 2005: Hi there, the choice is really yours but its never best tpo have two relationships at the same time because it usually leads to confusion and u may end up loosing the two guys. You obviously are into this new guy but u should ask urself what u ... (read in full...)
He hits me..he controls me.. so why do I beg him to stay with me when he threatens to leave? Help me!
Q. Im 19, having a bf for nearly 5 months now. Although I wouldn't consider it a very long relationship, I have seriously fell for him like I have never before. Overall, he is a person who treats me nicely once we meet. However, once I leave for home ...
A. 16 December 2005: Hi there, i dont think there is anyone here that would advise u to remain in this relationship. u r being abused and used and u just have to move on. u need to seek counselling and get friends and close families memembers to help. pls contact a ... (read in full...)
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