Boyfriend of 5 months constantly mentions how good looking he is
Q. Dear Cupid, I (25 years old) have recently started going out with a 26 year old guy. He is a gentleman, treats me well, but I've noticed one red flag (or at least, I think it is a red flag) about him. He constantly mentions how good looking he ...
A. 12 January 2017: This sounds bizarre. I don't think I have met anyone as vain as you describe. I think I would just have to take the piss out of him. What's more I would encourage all my friends to take the piss out of him too. I would rag him rotten until he either ... (read in full...)
How do I say NO to my boss?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, This is not a romantic relationship question, but I need help :) My boss wants to change some fundamentals we agreed on years ago and I need to find a delicate way to say no. I work for a minuscule company as a trans...
A. 12 January 2017: Essentially she is trying to change your contract of employment. That is not necessarily something that is written down. It is what you normally have done from when you first started. To give you an example, a practice nurse went to work for a GP... (read in full...)
Will sex ruin the relationship or make it better?
Q. Male(21) Hi..I am 21 and she is she is younger than me. We are in a relationship since last 7 months.We meet frequently.And now I think we both are ready for getting physical. I am confused is sex good for our relation or will it ruin our relation...
A. 12 January 2017: As you say, you live in a traditional society. You do not want to bring dishonour to her or her family. You know the right steps to take.
Furthermore remember this isn't just your decision. Her wishes must be respected and taken into account.... (read in full...)
Why do men disappear? And should I reach out?
Q. Why do men suddenly disappear? And should I reach out or let it go? Here's the situation : I met a guy a year ago. I gave him my phone number. He lives in a different city but for one year, casually kept in touch (maybe one text a month). Then i...
A. 12 January 2017: I think you are right. It is hard to maintain enthusiasm for a long-distance relationship. There aren't many pluses I can name that are associated with them.
So I wouldn't take this setback personally. You had a great time. However distance will... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 11 January 2017: You aren't listening OP. You are fantasising. You may have concocted feelings but they aren't based on anything real. Get your head out of the clouds and find someone near you who you can become attached to; a real girlfriend who lives in your ... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: This doesn't sound like a woman you should be tied to. I think you will eventually count your lucky stars for the release.
To call you out on a white lie so long ago shows a very unforgiving nature. If you were to bend on this you will forever be u... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 10 January 2017: He may have thought it was an original and amusing way to ask you. It backfired. Why don't you tell him you were underwhelmed by his attempt. Then give him another chance to ask you in a way that will impress.
Tell him the engagement is 'on hold... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to date other men for sex!
Q. I have been married for 17 years my husband for the past 5 year asks med to have sex with other men while we are having sex it gets him harder, should I? I have explained to him sex is more then sex to me, he says for me to go out and date then. I ...
A. 9 January 2017: What do you think? I wouldn't want to share you if I were your husband.
He says it will get him harder. Perhaps, but how long will this effect last?
Getting into the wife swapping scene is a big decision. Some couples seem happy with it but it i... (read in full...)
Every time we talk on the phone, he is always clicking away on his computer.!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We are both in our early 30's. We are planning to move in together around Summer/Fall. But, I have a problem with him... every time we talk on the phone, he is always clicking away on his computer....
A. 9 January 2017: Well this speaks to a general trend in his personality. This will be a future problem for you. You ask him to do something; he says he will; then he goes back to what he was doing.
Can you just imagine what this could mean in the future? For exam... (read in full...)
How do I get him to last longer?
Q. M boyfriend and I are in a Long Distance Relationship. We see each other every 4-6 weeks. I've been noticing that when we have sex, he doesn't last long... no more than maybe a minute or two at most. His explanation is that because he goes without ...
A. 9 January 2017: This can be awkward for both of you. He needs to understand that your timings are different. However he can still be a good lover.
There are several simple things to do. First he can relieve himself sexually beforehand so that there is not so much... (read in full...)
I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my in laws!
Q. I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my husbands family . He has several family members who beliefs and behaviour are very challenging and they sometimes stay with us as they live interstate . Some are currently or were in the past ...
A. 8 January 2017: There are two aspects to this question - the family and your husband. The family sound hilarious. I mean unicorns? That is fantastic.
I would be laughing up my sleeve the whole time they were staying. How long do you have to accommodate them - a we... (read in full...)
I always fear something bad is waiting for me
Q. Hey all! I have a dog of 2 years. I love her like a baby and so does my family. Sometimes I just watch her sleeping and worry about how long she will live. I want her to complete the 15 year mark and don't want to lose her young- of course if I h...
A. 8 January 2017: This is an unusual question from someone from India. My understanding is that the attitude to domestic pets there is different to that often seen in the west.
I would say your fears need addressing, probably by a health professional. They hint at u... (read in full...)
How to get over the embarrassment of rejection?
Q. I expressed interest in guy that I had my eye on 9 months ago but I was politely rebuffed. I felt embarrassed but brushed it .However,I try to be polite and friendly whenever our path cross but things are extremely awkward between us.I wish things ...
A. 7 January 2017: It was fair enough to show interest - why not. He wasn't in to you so OK - but it's no big deal.
Now perhaps he is acting awkward because he senses your discomfort. Lighten up.
Get on with lining up a more worthy prize - one who will truly ap... (read in full...)
How do I step out of my brother's shadow?
Q. My brother is very well known around here, because he played basketball. On the national level he was an average player but in a small town like where we live, he was a legend. After moving to Texas to play college basketball, and spending a couple ...
A. 7 January 2017: There are many examples of siblings who independently have gone on to make individual successful careers. Your brother knows something about sport and nutrition.
But you don't have to be in competition with him unless you want to. You are youn... (read in full...)
What does he mean? I want us to have a future together!
Q. i told my boyfriend that we are impossible because we live in different country and our culture is totally different. we are at on the right age and he knows that i want to have my own family at the age of 30. he didn't say anything but when i want ...
A. 7 January 2017: Breaking up is an option for either party. You don't need permission to break up with him. Just tell him, and then cut all communication.
As you have already broached the subject it won't be a surprise.
I think your decision is sensible. Trying t... (read in full...)
I feel deserted through my period of illness
Q. Hi all, I went through a difficult time recently with thyroid cancer that was surgically removed and followed up with radioactive iodine. During this time, I felt my family wasn't really supportive and there for me. If it wasn't for my boyfriend...
A. 6 January 2017: Well, it's certainly true that you can choose your friends but not your family. Family dynamics are complicated. You don't have to like them, nor they you.
You are lucky to have a partner who showed he cared. Perhaps your family were just not sens... (read in full...)
Should I be more angry or just let it go? My wife confessed that she gave oral briefly to a male stripper at a party
Q. Hi, my wife went to a girls party night recently where we both knew there would be male strippers. I was totally cool with it but she got carried away with the night and ended up giving a few seconds of oral to all but one of the stripper...
A. 5 January 2017: I don't think putting a stranger's, or worse, strangers' dicks in your mouth is acceptable.
It is the crowd-effect which can draw normal people into actions which they might usually shun. People have to be confident enough in themselves to avoi... (read in full...)
He doesn't give me the attention I want.
Q. My boyfriend claims he loves me but yet is nonchalant about everything. He hardly call me. Not only me - he hardly call his mom. He is always saying he's not used to calling and if am angry he was tell me am stressing over little issues. I love him ...
A. 5 January 2017: Find another boyfriend who will value you more than this one does. It will either make him jealous and pay you more attention, or you will have the option of a new boyfriend.
Perhaps you are being too obviously infatuated with this boy, and he thin... (read in full...)
Why are they discouraging me?
Q. I'm 14 and taking an interest in guys, maybe even girls, and people are discouraging me. They say I should worry about my education instead and that I'm being too mature already? I don't get it. I do focus on my education. I have good grades. All ...
A. 5 January 2017: Who are 'They' who are giving you the negative opinions?
One of the things you will learn as you grow older is when to listen to advice, and when to ignore it. It is a lesson we continue to learn throughout life.
If your parent thinks it is all r... (read in full...)
Why do men insist on commenting about other women's looks?
Q. I was wondering if anyone could shed some light in this for me . A guy was seeing went out of his was to make a point to me how beautiful his ex wife was. I have also noticed before that men seem to do this when on dates sometimes . They seem to ...
A. 5 January 2017: I think it is wise to steer clear of generalisations like this. If this is your experience then I think you need to widen your pool of friends and associates.
I think it is true that people behave in the way life has taught them to be; psyc... (read in full...)
I don't want to nag, but my boyfriend won't shower. Solutions? How should I respond?
Q. I'm 26 and I've just got into a relationship with a guy who's just turned 25. We've been seeing each other for months and we've been official for less than 3 weeks. As you can imagine I'm still in the honeymoon phase but he's straight away made him...
A. 4 January 2017: Do you love him enough to accept his idiosyncrasies? If not then it's time to part company. You have made your views clear. What else is left? You can't brainwash him.... (read in full...)
Why did he tell me about his ex wife?
Q. I like a guy I work with and have been getting closer to him. We've known each other for a few years now but before I was very shy. We have a bit of an age difference so that made me a bit more hesitant as I wasn't sure if he would be interested. ...
A. 4 January 2017: When adults are serious about an ongoing relationship they tell the other person relative information about their pasts. It helps in understanding who they are and where they are coming from.
I would take his shared history as a good sign that he w... (read in full...)
I'm dating one boy but think about another.
Q. Hi I'm a sophomore girl in high school. I'm dating a junior boy, well call J, but I like a freshman, we'll call F. Any way J and I have been together for 2 months and he doesn't even hold my hand, I'm not sure I like him anymore, but he says he's ...
A. 4 January 2017: I think you should gently separate yourself from the boy who won't even hold your hand. He isn't mature enough yet for you. He might hurt for a bit but he will get over it.
You then need to learn through mutual friends if the other boy would like... (read in full...)
I've wasted 20 years trying to be good enough.
Q. I am soon to be 50. I have beautiful children and a low income in a job that is not a career. Have always had a turbulent relationship with both my parents. My mother died recently and my father became manipulative and abusive towards me - he is ...
A. 3 January 2017: Part of the trouble with New Year is that is a time to look back before moving on. You are doing that with your life. No more looking back. Don't hold regrets. You did what you have done for good reasons. Now is the time to concentrate on what you ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for men to move on so quickly?
Q. Hi, I need some advice. I was in a relationship with a guy for one year. We had a great relationship until September this year then we started to argue because his behaviour changed towards me and I also fell out with my best friend because I ...
A. 2 January 2017: Doesn't sound that hopeful does it. I think you should put this one to one side.... (read in full...)
He is also my colleague at work and we just broke up. How can I face him when I go back to work?
Q. Im from India working in a bank. I had a relationship with a colleague since last January.. he has one friend or girlfriend i don't know with whom he spent a lot of time..now even after our relationship they talk over phone. Once i caught him ...
A. 2 January 2017: Ask for a transfer to another branch of your bank.... (read in full...)
I'm 25 and feel like my best years are behind me. Am I going to be ok?
Q. I'm 26 no job, no degree and have no sexual/relationship experience. I know that I could live to 50 and beyond but it feels like my best years are behind me. I can't help but feel like once you destroy your youth opportunities your life is ...
A. 2 January 2017: Oh dear - got the January blues and doing a bit of 'poor me'.
If you check the internet you will find a great number of CEOs who do not have degrees. The other truism is that no-one ever got rich working for someone else. That might be a gene... (read in full...)
Should my BF come to a wedding on his birthday? What would be appropriate to do in this situation?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 3 months now and all is going well. We've met each other's friends and spend lots of time together. He's very considerate and caring. I am very happy! However, I'm a chronic worrier and tend to worry wore somet...
A. 2 January 2017: Well, you need a definite answer from him because there will be a guest list and the bride and groom need to know who's coming. Places are limited and if he comes someone else can't. That is OK because you are probably expected to bring someone. ... (read in full...)
How can I reason with her?
Q. My girlfriend of 4 years always avoids conflict so we don't argue. That is annoying considering we stay silent rather than face solutions. For example it's New Year's, she is working at her Xmas party till midnight. Because she is working I ca...
A. 1 January 2017: You just have to start making your own arrangements. She can join in if she wants. It seems sad because she doesn't want to plan for any sort of shared occasion.
I don't quite get what you mean when you say,"She is working at her Christmas part... (read in full...)
My husband is constantly looking at other women and doesn't even try to hide it
Q. My husband constantly looks at other women not a slight glance a full look , and repeatedly looks at same woman if we are out on a social event . I feel very upset by this as surley the woman in question can see that he is with me yet still looking ...
A. 31 December 2016: Stand on his foot when he does it - hard!... (read in full...)
I hate being alone and will do almost anything so that I am not
Q. A few weeks ago I posted a question about being reallyyyyyyy sad all the time I am an honours student in university, I have a great life at home, I am well off financially, and I have everything I need (not to toot my own horn but I have a ver...
A. 31 December 2016: Are you living with your parents? Do you live in the town or in an isolated area? From what you say it seems to be home that is depressing you. Can you work out why that is?
Is it lack of control over your living space? You have to conform to the ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I'd like to watch him masturbate
Q. I have a fantasy and I am not sure how to approach my boyfriend about it. I don't want him to think I'm weird/something wrong with me or to embarrass him. I know it is natural for men to masturbate and I have no problem with him doing it. However, ...
A. 30 December 2016: It's all in the way you ask. Don't hold a summit conference first, but if while you are love making you ask something like,'Touch yourself for me', it becomes a shared experience and not a totally voyeuristic one.... (read in full...)
I've only had one night stands or FWB ... how do I ask a girl on a date?
Q. Hi guys, I've never had a girlfriend before or been on a date up to yet, more because I've been happy being single rather than an inability to speak to girls. Basically my experience with girls has been one night stands and a few fwbs. However...
A. 30 December 2016: Use your intelligence and imagination.
Quae dant, quaeque negant, guadent tamen esse rogatae.
(Whether they give or refuse women are glad to have been asked.)
Ovid.
Bet you wish you knew that when you were 17. LOL.... (read in full...)
He lies about money, I am fed up with being his doormat!
Q. I would love your opinions please on whether I am being unfair or judgmental. Me and my husband have been together for 15 years. Over the years I have caught him out in lies over money. About five years ago his aunt passed away, I knew she had left...
A. 30 December 2016: He is frightened of being without money. It is deep within his psyche. It will be nigh impossible for him to change this. It is deep rooted.
You must both separate your finances, separate accounts, and pay expenses jointly from your separate inco... (read in full...)
Is it possible for men to move on so quickly?
Q. Hi, I need some advice. I was in a relationship with a guy for one year. We had a great relationship until September this year then we started to argue because his behaviour changed towards me and I also fell out with my best friend because I ...
A. 30 December 2016: By 'move on' do you mean find another partner or get over being with you? Also I would like to ask you if you had good reason to doubt his fidelity?
He is either a mighty good liar swearing to his faithfulness or you were overly jealous and drov... (read in full...)
I told him that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. Am I just a friend to him?
Q. I told one of my guy friend that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. From that day we started texting a lot. It's been 9 months.. I don't know where exactly we stand.. We talk and meet up sometimes but we haven't talk on this top...
A. 29 December 2016: Or leap tall buildings!... (read in full...)
I did the most stupid thing I've ever done. How to repair the damage? How can I make it up to him?
Q. Im an idiot for what i did . Theres 2 guys , one texts a lot and makes a lot of effort through texts the other could make me wait a few days for a reply . the one who texts me a lot i see a future with but he drags his feet wanting to spend ti...
A. 29 December 2016: Just 'fess up. 'Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive'.... (read in full...)
Why has my Boyfriend changed his sexual style to a more conservative one, to the style he favoured previously? Could he be cheating?
Q. Hello friends. I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend. We have always had a good time experimenting with each other sexually. We have a good bond and have connected from the get go. And we have also had stellar chemistry and a gr...
A. 29 December 2016: Believe it or not experimenting can become passée. The fact that he wanted to make love to YOU is a beautiful thing. At least that is how it seems in your story. Sex can be a truly transcendent experience not just a massive release of hormones. Go ... (read in full...)
How can I make this work, with her? We both need to lose weight, but her motivation is waning.
Q. I want to be fit. I want that for my girlfriend too. So does she. She complains about how clothes look on her. She is very attractive but could be in better shape. Obviously, I’m on board. She is all talk but little action. I tried to make i...
A. 29 December 2016: It sounds like you are already half way out the door. Here's my best advice: 'Know what you want'. ... (read in full...)
Can our relationship work? we have a baby on the way but the father of the baby has an addiction. Should I break up with him and move back with family?
Q. We have a baby on the way and he is addicted to marijuana. I had my own personal addiction to it myself but after realizing I was with child, I don't need it anymore. I want my child to have the extra money instead and to use it to benefit as a fam...
A. 28 December 2016: You need to talk this out and tell him your intentions. Part of the problem for him is that it is a lifestyle choice isn't it.
I'll bet his friends are stoners too. It is hard to walk away from a lifestyle. If you can get some sort of reso... (read in full...)
I told him that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. Am I just a friend to him?
Q. I told one of my guy friend that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. From that day we started texting a lot. It's been 9 months.. I don't know where exactly we stand.. We talk and meet up sometimes but we haven't talk on this top...
A. 28 December 2016: Sorry but he isn't that into you. Find someone who will break down the door to be with you. Throw this minnow back in the pond.... (read in full...)
How can I make this work, with her? We both need to lose weight, but her motivation is waning.
Q. I want to be fit. I want that for my girlfriend too. So does she. She complains about how clothes look on her. She is very attractive but could be in better shape. Obviously, I’m on board. She is all talk but little action. I tried to make i...
A. 28 December 2016: Running isn't for everyone. Some say it will ruin your knees by time you are 40. Gym doesn't suit some people either. Cycling or walking are good exercise. Some like swimming but I find swimming in a pool boring. I think the bottom line is to find ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 28 October 2016: Dude - you can't make people love you, nor should you. Chat away by all means but realistically what are your expectations? ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 4 October 2016: There is nothing so bitter sweet as unrequited love. However you don't love this person. You love the idea of being in love. You haven't had time to properly know her. She is a fantasy. It is difficult at your age because the hormones are running ... (read in full...)
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