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I always fear something bad is waiting for me

Tagged as: Breaking up, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2017)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey all!

I have a dog of 2 years. I love her like a baby and so does my family. Sometimes I just watch her sleeping and worry about how long she will live. I want her to complete the 15 year mark and don't want to lose her young- of course if I had the option I'd not want to lose her AT ALL!

It's just that there are so many dogs out there getting scary diseases like cancer, canine distemper etc. She's the only perfect love and perfect relationship in my life. All human relationships are flawed for me. So I have this fear that something bad is waiting to happen somewhere down the lane to ruin my perfect bliss with regard to my dog. It's almost as though the best things are not meant FOR ME. But she is the best love and how come I have it?

Do other dog owners feel this too? How do I stop myself from these worrying thoughts?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2017):

Thank you all. I will remember to be take the journey with my dog as it comes and enjoy it as advised by anonem and anonymous 123.

I'm so sorry for your loss Anonem, I know you're hurting. Probably adopt another dog? :(. Anonymous aunt, I can relate to your story a lot. My mom thinks it's my grandmother's (her mother) reincarnation haha. And my father thinks that it's his dad who came back to spend time with us!

Denizen, I understand you concern with regard to the underlying insecurities. I'm just at a slightly frustrating point in life and hope that's going to change as I'm making efforts to get where I want to be. So I keep swaying between being happy to suddenly becoming cynical. Somehow, I just feel that being cynical is protecting me from the things I experienced in the past by not being so. I hope it's a phase.

Here's an article you that might help you understand better about pets in the modern India.

Things were different before with people having a dog only as a watchdog.

Now, in the urban areas everyone lives a fast paced life, often lacking in love and out of touch from nature/animals, betrayal from kin etc while a dog walks into your life, gives warmth and loves you unconditionally. She has brought me closer to my parents and them closer to each other. Eg. People sit with their respective laptops and phones and have nothing to speak about. Then the dog brings her toy asking one of us to play and this brings about a conversation.

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A female reader, anonem United States +, writes (9 January 2017):

anonem agony auntThis just took me back to memory lane. I lost my male lhasa apso last yearand everyday has been a living hell for me. I wake up everytime suddenly in shock calling his name and thinking about him.

Your post is something I would have written a while back. A word of advice, don't go about thinking about the loss of your dog when she's still around. Enjoy everymoment with her. Make sure, I repeat, make sure you give her allthe necessary vaccinations and injections possible and froma reputable vet.

I believe someone like you, if you'd ever lose your dog, you won't get over it like me. You dog is in good health now. Make sure to enjoy every moment with her. Everything dies.

My warmest regards to you and your dog.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (9 January 2017):

Anonymous 123 agony auntOMG...this post could have been written by me a few years back!

My entire family and I were completely obsessed with our dog as well, and no one thought of her as a "dog"..she was the baby of the family. When we had guests over, she would sit in the drawing room ON the sofa next to us! She slept on the bed, between my parents and my mom would wake up numerous times at night to make sure she's covered with her blanket and not cold. We made sure someone or the other was with her at home at any given time so she wouldnt be lonely. She used to go on a drive with my father every Sunday morning, and would was just about the most indulged pet! In turn, she loved us more than we could ever lover her, was gentle to a fault, affectionate, loving and a huge big coward! The next-door cat used to scare her no end and she used to tremble on seeing that silly cat...and keep in mind this was a big, fat Dalmatian we're talking about here!

Our worst fears came true when she passed away suddenly...and in all happened in a few hours. We didnt even have the time to understand what was happening.

Even though its been a few years now, I dont think we've ever truly come to terms with her loss. Not a day goes by when she's not mentioned in my house. The sadness has faded slightly over the years and we talk about the happy memories. She was so important and special to us that when my daughter was born, my father declared that she was back :)

I truly understand what you're feeling OP. You and your dog are so blessed to have found each other. Enjoy every moment that you have with her and dont think about the inevitable because if you do, you're only losing precious time. Live your days together to the fullest, make sure she gets her injections on time because that's very important and just relax and stop worrying about the worst. She will be with you for many years to come and you should just cherish every moment that you have with her.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (8 January 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI think most people who love their pets have underlying fears about losing them. We all know they don't live anywhere near long enough and that, one day, we will have to say goodbye.

I think the only thing you can do is make sure you look after your dog the best you can. Make sure she gets regular exercise and has regular vet checks so that any health issues can be picked up as early as possible. If there is anything you are worried about, or notice, speak to the vet or join a good on-line forum.

Yes, sometimes dogs do fall incurably ill, just as humans do. However, with good feeding and good care, you can minimise the risks.

I hope you and your dog have many happy years ahead of you and that, one day in the not too distant future, you meet someone who restores your faith in human nature.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2017):

Denizen agony auntThis is an unusual question from someone from India. My understanding is that the attitude to domestic pets there is different to that often seen in the west.

I would say your fears need addressing, probably by a health professional. They hint at underlying insecurities. You need to work through these with someone if you can. You probably already are aware that your transference of affection to a pet dog cannot be altogether healthy at the level you suggest.

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