What do you think of the things that my ex said to me? I still find my ex attractive
Q. This is about my ex and his brother. I dated my ex for about four months last year. It didn't go well because we were both unwell at the time. I had only just come out of hospital when I met him. I was in there about my mental health problems...
A. 16 August 2016: You don't seem to be listening to what people have written to you.... (read in full...)
Being introvert is hampering my love life
Q. Hello all, I need your help with a crisis I'm going through. I am an extremely reserved person and tend to be myself most of the time. I like it this way. It's always been like this since I was a kid. However, as an adult there are situations w...
A. 15 August 2016: What have you done to help yourself so far? You realise that if you don't make the effort your chances of finding someone are limited?
If you have to be exhausted by faking it then so be it - that's what it is going to take for you.
Reali... (read in full...)
I want to have the courage to talk to her!
Q. iam attending a 3month java course at a coaching centre suitated 60kms away from my home town.after completing 1 month,i noticed a cute girl and i started falling in love with her.im not very courageous to talk to girls but once i got a chance to ...
A. 14 August 2016: So much depends on your culture, and hers. Also the culture of the country you are studying in. What might be acceptable in one could be offensive in another.
In UK we hear of honour killings. You wouldn't want to put a young woman in a posi... (read in full...)
What do you think of the things that my ex said to me? I still find my ex attractive
Q. This is about my ex and his brother. I dated my ex for about four months last year. It didn't go well because we were both unwell at the time. I had only just come out of hospital when I met him. I was in there about my mental health problems...
A. 14 August 2016: It looks like he is preparing to jump out of one relationship and into another. This doesn't sound good for you.
You have got your life together. You have your own place to live - your own front door key. I don't think you need this kind of comp... (read in full...)
Will quitting my retail job after 11 months look really bad?
Q. Hi there, I am 22 years old. From 17 to 21 i worked at the body shop as a sales consultant however was made redundant there as i could not do the hours they wanted me too as I had stressful universtiy work. Anyway, I moved to Manchester last ...
A. 14 August 2016: Can't you ask for a week's unpaid leave? If you mean anything to the company then they should be amenable to that. If not then you only have one option.
If the people you work for don't appreciate you there is only ever one option.... (read in full...)
Torn between my brothers exes
Q. Thanks to all who respond here. I appreciate it. In about about a weeks time I am scheduled to fly out to another city to visit my brother and his second wife. He has started a new family and I am looking forward to seeing my two year old niece fr...
A. 14 August 2016: Your brother's first wife will probably be looking for a partner. She realises she needs support. The son probably could use a good role model. It is a familiar pattern. Nothing wrong with it but just be aware.
As for your brother, who knows why ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in her but think I may have lost the chance for us to be more than friends
Q. there is a girl who I work with that I have become very good friends with over the past 2 years we go for coffee and lunch when we can on a regular basis. we both get on well I am going through a divorce .was in a bad marriage which my friend knows ...
A. 14 August 2016: Take the opportunity to tell her you like her very much, but you are still healing from your broken marriage and not yet through the divorce. Tell her you need to take things slowly. Ask her if she is OK with that. It's good to talk.... (read in full...)
I have lied to my parents for two years and it's really getting to me. At the crossroads. So what should I?
Q. I really need some help right now, so hopefully someone can turn me in the right direction. First I should start out by saying that I just turned 20 but since I live with my parents I have to follow their rules. Okay, so I have always been a go...
A. 14 August 2016: You are 20 years old. It is time for you to find a real boyfriend. Relationships forged on line are only 20 per cent of what a real relationship is. They are also inherently dangerous because it is so easy for a person to mask his identity and ... (read in full...)
Married but cheating on my husband with two other men. Exciting for me but it's becoming too much. What are my options?
Q. I'm a married female,no kids, who has been cheating on my husband with a single man for almost two years now... A couple months ago when I arrived at my guys apartment,another man was there with him, who he said was one of his friends from way back...
A. 14 August 2016: It's your life. You can run it how you like. You have to be true to yourself. I do think it is always wise to honest with those involved for everyone's sake.
My only warning would be make sure you don't get used. It is comfortable and safe if you ... (read in full...)
Do I go for mr A or mr B ??
Q. im in a bit of a pickle . Ok theres 2 guys one can be A and the other B . A is an old distant friend weve both liked each other for years but didnt think the other felt the same , were finally going on a date tonight hes perfect apart from he do...
A. 13 August 2016: Have you listened to your inner feelings? What are they telling you? If in doubt choose the lighter happiness.... (read in full...)
Vibrator too loud and sharing a room with a family member, what to do?
Q. Ok so I'm 19 and I don't have a car to go by a vibrator at a store and I share a room with a family member so its really hard for me to masterbate late at night for instance now anyways I use a mack massager but its too loud and every time I turn it ...
A. 12 August 2016: Can you get a quiet vibrator delivered somewhere for you to collect. It must be possible to order one on the internet? You sound like you are on a leash. Can't someone take you to town and let you do some shopping on your own? Perhaps you don't have ... (read in full...)
My LDR girlfriend has admitted to being attracted to someone else!
Q. hello! i am in a long distance relationship for last one year,we have spent such a beautiful time in last one year.We share everything, recently my girlfriend told me that she is attracted towards one of his co worker;she explains that th...
A. 12 August 2016: Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain. Are you sure you have a relationship and not just a pen-friend? If the later is the case I suggest you find a flesh and blood girl in you neighbourhood, providing you can get parental approval.... (read in full...)
My brother's ex' has put a hook in me
Q. So here's my dilemma. I have fallen for my brother's ex-girlfriend. I am a 24-year-old male who has not really experienced a lot of romance in my life up to this point. However, I have never felt this way about a woman in my life and I feel terri...
A. 12 August 2016: I honestly didn't know about this rule. Is there a book I can look them up in? I have gone through life not knowing these rules. How have I managed so far?
You say:'I have never felt this way about a woman in my life'. Well, I say stick the rule... (read in full...)
How can I ask her to be my girlfriend?
Q. I'm not too sure where to start so, basically I've been seeing this girl for over two weeks now. We get on like a house on fire it's unreal, we have so much in common, always make each other laugh and always have fun. I haven't had a relationship in ...
A. 12 August 2016: You don't actually have to ask. If you like each other you continue seeking each other's company. You show affection for each other, and you make a few plans to do things you both might enjoy. The only big question is on marriage, and fewer people ... (read in full...)
I am falling for her hard, but I have a boyfriend!
Q. So I'll get straight to the point...I met this chick on snapchat...I tell her everything and she tells me everything...well we have known each other two months but we talked everyday all day even give the kiss emoji with heart when we went to ...
A. 11 August 2016: The thing you have a problem with - and it's not uncommon - is faithfulness and honesty. If you can sort that out then your problems will be far fewer.... (read in full...)
He's telling them our relationship has ended before he even told me. How do I let go and move on from him?
Q. My partner and I have been together 6 and a half years, since I was 16. We both live with my parents and over the course of our relationship we have done for 3-4 years. Roughly 2 years ago, my partner dumped me, for me it was completely out o...
A. 10 August 2016: I feel sorry that you find yourself in this situation. You are owed so much more. Don't bother discussing the other girls. Just deliver the coup de grace. Tell him he's had all the chances he is going to get from you. It's over for him for good. ... (read in full...)
Think I've lost a friend who might have been more
Q. I have had a best friend for three years. At the start of our friendship I let him know I had feelings for him. He was unsure of my sincerity and so did not tell me he did in fact reciprocate my feelings. He has recently informed me that he has ...
A. 9 August 2016: People come and go in life. Some you see regularly; some sporadically; others never again.
This man wasn't sure if he wanted a different, more romantic relationship with you. He was prepared to let you go. He hasn't really changed in that resp... (read in full...)
My brain isn't engaging and my focus is lost!
Q. I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment. I feel as though my brain isn't engaging and my focus is lost. Im almost 21 and instead of acting more mature and getting organised I feel i'm losing the plot. For example I act very irrespo...
A. 8 August 2016: Do you think it might be worth having a chat with your GP about this? Did you have medication for your depression? That could be one significant cause of your forgetfulness.
Sometimes though life is just too full of other stuff, and your mind is o... (read in full...)
My Bf is moving at the end of the year. How can we survive as a Long Distance couple?
Q. Recently i found out my boyfriend is probably going to be moving at the end of this year. we're going to try long distance but billions of people keep saying we wont make it through and im starting to believe them... I really want to stay with him...
A. 8 August 2016: It is a difficult one for you. All you can do is try long distance and see how it goes. It is strange the paths life leads us on. Looking back you can see how all the dots join up, but at the time is can appear a hopeless mess.
At least you can Skyp... (read in full...)
I can't forgive or learn to love him.
Q. I want a divorce. But, I feel that it is selfish and illogical. And I love my husband in a platonic way and do not want to hurt him, I know that it would be better for him in the long run to be with somebody else but he is very dependent on...
A. 6 August 2016: Do you think you would be happier out of the relationship? You seem to be saying that you would. In that case you need to have a civilised conversation about the future.
Many other couples split up with varying degrees of success. These days our ... (read in full...)
Do I make first contact?
Q. Hey , ive seen a guy i like on a dating site the thing is i already know him i dont have a pic up as of yet being new . but he did look at my profile but didnt message . should i casually message saying hi fancy seeing you on here or just leave him ...
A. 3 August 2016: It is worth a try. You ought to post an honest picture of yourself so he can decide, not just on your profile, but your looks too. Stay safe and I hope it goes well.... (read in full...)
I do like him but I need this long distance to stop. But I fear I'm going to lose him now that he's into me. What do I do?
Q. Hi all, I liked this one guy a lot a few years ago but he did not reciprocate my feelings then. We were really good friends at the time so it was really hard for me to get over him. I eventually moved to another city to pursue my education and I ...
A. 3 August 2016: I think you are right. It is unreasonable to put your life on hold for the vague promise of something in the future - who knows what?
It is a bit of an ego boost to know that someone likes you, but if he were that interested he would be on your... (read in full...)
How to ask your teacher nicely to stop flirting with you?
Q. I go to tuition to a male teacher ... suppose his name is MR X . Mr X is 50 yrs old he is really really good teacher as long as he teaches .. My school teacher aint that good in teaching but he flirts with me i think .. he has touched my hands ...
A. 3 August 2016: You need a male friend to tell him that you are uncomfortable with his actions however innocent they may be. He should be aware that in your culture such actions are unacceptable and often have consequences.
That way it doesn't involve your fami... (read in full...)
I’ve been dating a guy my own age for 3 years, I find him cute but I just find older guys far more attractive!
Q. I find older men way more attractive than guys my own age! I'm in a relationship with a guy my own age (3 years and going pretty well) but though I find him pretty cute, I just find older guys far more attractive. And by older, I mean 10+ years. ...
A. 2 August 2016: You say: 'It's not like a relationship with a guy 10-20 years my senior would really be something that works, would it?'
I think history would prove you wrong. There are many examples of older men and younger women - probably the opposite too. As t... (read in full...)
How can I last longer for her?
Q. So recently, I've gotten into a relationship with the woman of my dreams. She's my best friend, we've known each other for two years, shared ups and downs, been to the ringer and back and now things are amazing. We've also gotten physical a few ...
A. 1 August 2016: Sometimes you just have to laugh it off. However if you come first, make sure she is satisfied too, in whatever way you feel appropriate.
Having a full bladder can stop you coming. And I have heard of blokes reliving their favourite football game... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex what happened?
Q. We had been together for two years and they have been great but then recently we had started to argue over petty little stuff and his parents were basically forcing it on me to forgive him and that ended up in me just building anger up. We were ...
A. 31 July 2016: Tell him what? Sorry but I don't understand. Do you mean tell him you feel horrible? If so why not? There is just one male involved isn't there? It has come out like a stream of consciousness. I can't get a handle on what you are worried about. ... (read in full...)
What are signs a girl wants me to move the conversation to asking her out?
Q. How do you know if a woman is into you? I'm a 23 yr old virgin and have had one girlfriend only. It lasted two years. Shyness/lack of confidence gets in my way. Whether I think I'm too short/not good looking/charismatic enough. When...
A. 31 July 2016: If you like a girl then find out if she has a boyfriend already. If not ask her if she would like to meet up for a drink. Choose somewhere you can have a conversation without having to shout to be heard.
If that goes well then ask if she would like... (read in full...)
They say nice things but they won't date me
Q. I'm a 19 year old African American in college. I've been single my whole life because no girl will give me a chance. They'd rather date some idiot who'd cheat on them in the next 2 minutes over a guy who would actually care for them. Multiple times ...
A. 30 July 2016: I honestly can't think of any reason. You sound intelligent and caring. I assume you are reasonable looking and take care of your personal appearance and hygiene. All I can think of is that you haven't met the right one yet. Perhaps you are fishing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's personality has changed, should I address this? And how?
Q. I'm with this guy for a year and a half now. And he had just broken up with his abusive ex of 5 years, by the time we met. He was very frail, little things could upset him greatly, and it took a few months for him to be himself again. But he was ...
A. 29 July 2016: I think a bit of tough love is called for here. When he tells you that you remind him of his previous relationship then say if that's the way he feels then you will save your energy for someone who appreciates all the love and effort you are putting ... (read in full...)
Best ways for getting over someone?
Q. Best ways for getting over someone ? Been speaking to a girl for quite a while but a relationship isn't feasible for us. We both get on great but the past few times I've asked to hang out she's blown me off and has always been busy, the last t...
A. 29 July 2016: I really feel this girl isn't in to you in the same way as you would like to be with her. You've had sex, you have known each other for two years, she isn't that keen on seeing you. Brother this doesn't sound like a match made in heaven.
So now you ... (read in full...)
Could this older man like me?
Q. I'm sort of embarrassed to be asking this, as I normally don't have problems with this sort of issue. I'll give you a rundown of my situation: This man in twenty something years older than me. I am not underage, in my twenties. We work together...
A. 29 July 2016: Oh dear! You say you aren't interested in him. So stop messing about. You are being a tease and a flirt. If this man genuinely is developing feelings for you you could make life awful for him. He might think you really like him. If he is in a ... (read in full...)
How can I believe there is good in the world?
Q. I can't stop wishing badly on people that have done me wrong - I fee like I'm stuck into waiting for karma to get people back that I'm watching my life waste away. I have been wronged very wrong end by a lover and friends and I've been a pushover or ...
A. 28 July 2016: I think you should change your therapist, and possibly your therapy. You should also ask your therapist for a time frame for the treatment. It is ridiculous to be on the couch for years while your therapist just keeps taking his fee.
It is opti... (read in full...)
I'm unnaturally anxious around boys
Q. Hi all, I am a 24 yr old girl, single. My mum is a divorcee, a single parent. I have an elder sister who is,now, married... I don't remember my father. I used to go to girls highschool. I had some of guy friends in my college life,but I used to talk ...
A. 26 July 2016: Perhaps you could take an evening class with mixed participants. This would get you used to being around men. The thing is we really like women. You only need to smile and we can be won over. If you ask us to do something simple like undo a bottle ... (read in full...)
I want to help my troubled lover
Q. I spilt with my husband 6 months ago and met a wonderful man online. We've been together 2 months but two very intense wonderful months and just click. He was in a 20 year relationship previously which ended very abruptly (not his choice) he was ...
A. 26 July 2016: You are both people with needs. You must still be recovering from your break-up. He has issues stretching back to his childhood. Still he has told you about it after only being together for two months so it sounds like he is coming to terms with his ... (read in full...)
How do you look after and help the depressed love of your life?
Q. My partner of two and a half years is severely depressed and struggling with day to day things. Our relationship is on its last legs, we're holding on to memories through this difficult stage. He is irritable and angry all the time and takes it...
A. 26 July 2016: You are not stupid sticking with him, but you need to realise that you can't fix him. He needs coping mechanisms to deal with depression. He needs professional help. In UK there can be a couple of months waiting time to get help so seek it now.
I... (read in full...)
I want to make it work but he's not helping by being inconsiderate
Q. I need help with a fairly new relationship that I really want to work long term. We've been together only 4 months but have known each other for over 10 years. We don't live close enough to each other to see each other on anything other than the w...
A. 26 July 2016: What is going to change in this relationship? Will you move nearer to him? It appears that he is too tied up in his career to move nearer to you. And if you did move to him would he have time for you during the week?
Weekends are full of fun. Livi... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so miserable?
Q. How can I change my negative mindset ; it seems I'm never satrafied and I have hit a rock bottom lately now that my relationship is over - in the grand scheme of themes the short relationship I was in wasn't great - he wasn't a great guy and I ...
A. 25 July 2016: It is hard to escape this trap because the lower you get the less you feel like doing anything. Your head is telling you there is no point. You can imagine the outcome of every scenario before you, and no of them seem to offer what you need.
H... (read in full...)
I'm worried that the man I am dating can do better than me
Q. So, im a gay man and currently seeing a guy. I really like him and he tells me he really likes me too. Im a student home for the summer so i don't have anything to do but the guy im seeing runs a night club and is very busy. When we go out on dates ...
A. 24 July 2016: It sounds like you are being bought by an older man. You must pay your way. You aren't his toy. Relationships must be equal and it doesn't sound as if yours is at all.
Stop acting like his pet or you will end up being used not just by him but by o... (read in full...)
I'm tired of waiting for my boyfriend to come up with the dowry!
Q. Hey everyone....first of all I am African, so no judging please. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. When we started dating he was so excited about our relationship. He actually told after 3 months of dating that he couldn't wait to ...
A. 24 July 2016: I thought this is usually dealt with on his behalf by a relative, perhaps a brother. A price is agreed and a time for the amount to be delivered is set.
Is your marriage to be arranged by your parents or do you get to choose?
The underlyi... (read in full...)
Why am I undecided about the sort of guy I'd like?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, I really need your help. I'm about to be a sophomore in college and I'm so unsure about what I want when it comes to guys. I feel as if all of my friends have had hookups and seem so sure of themselves when it comes to sexual ...
A. 24 July 2016: Slow down. There's no rush. And don't be fooled by other's show of confidence. Many people fake it till they make it. When someone comes along who seems caring, compassionate, interesting... (you complete the list) then you might want to take a ... (read in full...)
I like my best friend. Should I tell him I have feelings for him?
Q. Dear Cupid, There is this guy i like. I have known him for a long time. I have had feelings for him for awhile. The thing is that i dont know if i should tell him or not. I think he likes me but im not sure... Can you please help me? And it is also ...
A. 24 July 2016: If you don't ask you don't get. Find a gentle, non threatening way of getting together - a drink, a pizza, a coffee (not a movie). This will allow you to chat and find out what you have in common. If it doesn't go well then no harm's done. It's ... (read in full...)
My potential date is acting strangely. How should I approach this issue? What can I say?
Q. My friend and i have decided to go on a date next week. We always chat online ( we have met in person ). The other day he said him and his family were doing something for his dads birthday going to a seaside so the original date was canceled til...
A. 23 July 2016: I think you should find a more mature partner. To be honest you both sound like teenagers not adults. Your preoccupations with who's online and who isn't; when you get a reply; and going to the seaside for his dad's birthday without you. Come on! ... (read in full...)
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