Why is my ex-fwb still contacting me after he ended things?
Q. I was recently dumped by my fwb because he and his girlfriend is getting serious. i wanted to end things when i found out he got back with his girlfriend but i wasn't strong enough to leave. after a week he ended things he texted me something that ...
A. 8 May 2017: I think he said he didn't want to sleep with you because you are not together because he realised how obvious he was being. He doesn't want to lose his fxxk buddy.
Let's have a little recap'. He has a girlfriend with whom he is getting serious and ... (read in full...)
My friend told my parents that I am contacting girls
Q. My frnd told to My parents about my relationship...i mean not exactly bt he told that, ur son is contacting to girls.. And my parents hate to be in contacting with girls... So plz tell me what should i tell my parents......
A. 7 May 2017: What do you think the reason is that they don't want you to contact girls? In western culture this would be a normal occurrence. They might even be pleased you were acting like a normal young man.
I take it you mean ordinary young women and not ... (read in full...)
The teasing in our relationship is starting to get to me
Q. Me and my fiancee are planning to get married in just over a year but I'm starting to have a few worries. We like to tease each other and give each other a hard time, its just part of the dynamic of our relationship, but lately I've been taking it ...
A. 5 May 2017: Yes talk. Always good. Call him out on his comments. For example, the clothes. When did he become the style guru for the area?
Just tell him to 'leave it out' and if he continues give him the cold shoulder until he gets the fact that there is a li... (read in full...)
Should I move back home? I'm feeling pathetic with no close friends, boyfriend and stalled career
Q. I'm feeling so lonely. I live with a roommate who is also very alone. I satisfy myself by watching porn. I recently found out the I was the side girl with a guy who was cheatimg on his main gf and basically wasted 8 months. My family is not near ...
A. 5 May 2017: Then how come you haven't made any friends? Is it just that you are feeling generally low and run down at the moment? Would taking yourself off on holiday help?
It can be hard to arrange when you feel down but I'm sure a good travel agent migh... (read in full...)
Will it bother this man that I'm dating that I have personal problems?
Q. So I guess I'll start from the beginning in September my dad became very unwell I was originally born in London but live in Ireland in Dublin as my parents split up when I was younger. Since I found out my dad was sick I've been travelling to Londo...
A. 5 May 2017: Honesty is the best policy. If you don't feel able to date him then tell him that too.... (read in full...)
Should I move back home? I'm feeling pathetic with no close friends, boyfriend and stalled career
Q. I'm feeling so lonely. I live with a roommate who is also very alone. I satisfy myself by watching porn. I recently found out the I was the side girl with a guy who was cheatimg on his main gf and basically wasted 8 months. My family is not near ...
A. 5 May 2017: Have you done anything to improve your social life? It sounds as if you don't have one. In order to build a circle of friends you need to pursue different interests, hobbies, volunteering, sport etc.
Baby steps! Get out there. Get involved. Get doin... (read in full...)
Why is my General Manager so hung up on whether or not I like him?
Q. He is already liked by the entire staff. Especially the female staff. I am not sure if he is looking for "all" of us female to like him to boost his ego, but all he keeps mentiong is how he doesn't understand why I don't like him. I never gav...
A. 5 May 2017: If this doesn't interfere with work then don't give it another thought. You only have to get on with people at work well enough to do the job. Have a life outside work. That is the important one.... (read in full...)
I can't be what my LDR boyfriend wants me to be!
Q. My ldr watches porn stars mistress who dominate men . When we talk sexy I am extremely self conscious. It's simply not in my nature to be anything like that . That's not how I am as a person but I know that's what really floats his boat . I have...
A. 5 May 2017: Perhaps I'm wrong but I suspect his motives. A long distance relationship in which you are expected to strip and be sexy on Skype or role-play over the phone just sounds dodgy to me.
You wouldn't be the first woman to be duped into being expo... (read in full...)
How do I show my emotions, open up to my boyfriend and confide in him?
Q. I have a hard time with showing my emotions to people. It 's only hard for me because I think it's embarrassing and I was honestly raised to not show any emotions like sadness or even love at times. But my boyfriend wants me to share my feelings ...
A. 4 May 2017: You don't have to share your emotions with anyone if you don't want to. However people in general do find it helpful to talk through issues with someone they can trust. It seems that you have found a couple of people with whom you can share your ... (read in full...)
Unhappy in my relationship and I'm attracted to my friend but he's got a girlfriend.
Q. Hello dearcupid, I am a 24 year old woman, currently in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend--let's call him K. We have been together for over five years, and a lot has changed during that time. He is about to turn 39, so there is an age ...
A. 3 May 2017: Hopping from one relationship to another, even if it were possible, is a recipe for disaster.
End your current relationship. Recover yourself - that might take longer than you imagine - and then look to a new future with someone more suitable for ... (read in full...)
Confusedabout my feelings
Q. I apologise this is very long! Around 4 years ago i met this man online. We eventually met up and went for a meal, (i need to mention i was in a bad place back then and very insecure) he was a bit of a d***. He said i had bad table manners, asked if ...
A. 2 May 2017: I am confused about you! You say he insulted you and it took ages to get over it. And yet you slept with him?
When he apologised, could it be that he just wanted to screw somebody and he thought why not try her again?
If you really think this mig... (read in full...)
Is this something to stick with?
Q. Now just so you know my partner does not want to leave me ....however should I leave him??? I have been through a lot in life I grew up with a compulsive liar for a mother (not spoke to parents for 2yrs)..I have also lost a child when he was 11yrs ...
A. 1 May 2017: You say, at the end, you have had counselling. What conclusion did you reach with your counsellor? Are you posting here because you don't want to make the move you already decided on?
Probably at some time you have listed the pros and cons. But ... (read in full...)
Am I being too demanding? His excuse is, ''yes, but just not yet.''
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years. We do not live together. He wants me to move in with him, but I won't, because his ex-wife still has a key, and he refuses to change the locks. I don't feel safe leaving my things in his house ...
A. 1 May 2017: I agree with the other Aunts. It is time to draw a line in the sand. He doesn't want to commit to you in marriage, and is still living in her house apparently.
I clean break with his ex' should mean the house be sold and he invests his share in a... (read in full...)
How do I leave this abusive relationship? He always finds me when I do leave.
Q. How do I even begin to leave an abusive realationship?? My partner has became very abusive in the last 9 months ( I know what your going to think .. why am I still with him after that amount of time) the answer is I'm sacred!!) what can I do?! ...
A. 1 May 2017: You must gather all the support you can: from family, friends and authorities if necessary.
You are being bullied because you are alone and weak. He won't stop until someone stands up to him.
You feel alone and helpless. Don't let this happen t... (read in full...)
Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?
Q. I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...
A. 28 April 2017: Dear Female Anon, I haven't been able to make you understand my point, and for that I apologise. Probably my example, which I hoped would be inclusive to both sexes, was a bad example.
As we are now starting to dissect semantics it serves no purp... (read in full...)
Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?
Q. I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...
A. 27 April 2017: To be honest, Female Anon I find the insinuation that all men are testosterone-driven, sex-crazed animals who can't wait to hump the nearest female a tiresome generalisation.
It is a point of view that needs to be challenged at every oppo... (read in full...)
Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?
Q. I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...
A. 26 April 2017: Dear Anonymous Female,
When I said in my early post, Providing he wasn't horrible', I was in an inverted way saying 'Attractive'.
And as for your proposition that: 'If an attractive woman just took her clothes off and was willing to have sex with... (read in full...)
On a break from boyfriend and have a job offer in another town
Q. My Bf and I are on a sort of break right now. We are still with each other but spending time with our own families to reassess what we both want. There is a job offer for Me far away from home but I won't be happy there (I will like the job just not ...
A. 26 April 2017: Sorry I don't quite understand what you have written. I see that you and your man are apart and that you have an offer of a job away somewhere. You don't imagine you are going to like the place.
But you might when you get there. Or have you been... (read in full...)
Should I be mad because my friend helped get me fired?
Q. I was working with this girl K and my friend L and her friend C. Our boss LO, was always ingrained in L's life calling and texting her, and L asked me to make him stop with the text messages. After a while I discovered that LO was spreading rumors ...
A. 25 April 2017: I don't know about being mad but it sounds like a mad house you were working in.
Go and work somewhere more normal, and quit the txting. Definitely quit the txting at work. Get your head down, do your hours then go home.... (read in full...)
Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?
Q. I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...
A. 25 April 2017: There is attraction and then there is love. You generalise in your question about men but are specific when speaking about women - as if you speak for all of them.
Put yourself in the desert island scenario. If you were there for long enough woul... (read in full...)
How can I find out if my neighbor likes me?
Q. Hi, I live in a mid terrace block of 3. To one side I have my sibling and to the other I have a really nice guy. I moved in here near the end of last year and I must admit it was a shock. Not because I have a place of my own, but because it's nex...
A. 24 April 2017: Ask pairs of friends to dinner. Also invite him. Park the kids somewhere for the evening. See how it goes.... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?
Q. Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite? So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too...
A. 24 April 2017: If you are serious about her then offer to support her so she doesn't have to do sex on cam anymore. Is she a hypocrite? Well yes and no. It could be hard for her to perform if she thinks there is someone who knows her closely watching. The cam girl ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to be more than FWB do I tell him how I feel?
Q. Hi I've been friends with a guy for 3years the friendship turned to friends with benefits in January he stopped talking to me and now has got back in contact with me he said he stopped talking to me as he had soem family issues which he explained. ...
A. 24 April 2017: You ask should you tell him how you feel. Well, how do you feel? He has told you he doesn't want a relationship now. He stopped talking to you and now he is back - sort of.
This isn't a person who loves you. No mater what his, 'family issues', are ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a prostitute who says she is pregnant and the baby is mine
Q. Here is the situation I am in love with a prostitute, from the beginning I accepted her for who she is and what she does as a prostitute but it's hard to me as a man, knowing she dates other men for money I mean i do love her and she says she does ...
A. 23 April 2017: Paternity test and rehab. If you are to have a future together then there needs to be a change. It looks like a struggle to make this one work. Not impossible but very difficult.... (read in full...)
I enjoy getting hit on but how do I keep my respect?
Q. I am 42 yr old average looking guy and am getting hit by young girls more then before since I took up fitness and gained weight. Now I find my every interaction with the opp sex becomes sexual. Even my sis in law has started flirting with me ...
A. 23 April 2017: You are being fooled by your own ego. You feel fitter; you think you look better, and you are naturally expecting to see a reaction in the eyes of others.
OK, go with it, but don't take yourself too seriously.
It's great that you are taking c... (read in full...)
She says she's into guys but does she like me?
Q. A girl has been getting closer to me and grabbing my wrist, and above my wrist but below the elbow. I'm also a girl but am not a lesbian. She says shes into guys but me and my friend are not so sure. my other friend is a girl. Do you think that girl ...
A. 23 April 2017: I think there is too little to go on. Some people are more touchy feely than others. If she really fancied you - if she wanted you sexually it would be in the eyes.... (read in full...)
Worried about future involvement
Q. I am an extremely emotional person. I had ended my first and only romantic relationship four years ago. There have been quite a few women who have shown interest since then but I wasn't ready for it again. I now find myself finally into a nice lady ...
A. 21 April 2017: Look chum, when you fall for a woman you accept the whole package. You love the quirks along with the tenderness. It sounds like you are being over analytical.
And as for your being 'extremely emotional' what does that mean - you cry when you see ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out, I don't know how
Q. I went to a school for 9 years, this year I switched for high school. I had a close friend at my old school. She is very nice and very pretty. I have not communicated with her in the last few weeks. I want to ask her out, but I am not sure she feels ...
A. 21 April 2017: Ask her to join you for a coffee. See how it goes. If you find things to talk about you can ask her on the spot if she would like to join you for a pizza or a Sub' sandwich another day. If she declines the coffee then it's no big deal. But every ... (read in full...)
Should I ask out my instructor?
Q. Should I ask out my instructor after I graduate? I really like one of my lecturers, he is really cute and nice, and obviously very smart. I've gone to his office a few times, and during one of my visits he scooted his chair over really close to ...
A. 19 April 2017: I don't think you should make any approaches to your tutor, particularly on the evidence you offer. He's there to do a job. He isn't there to be your friend, confidant, or more.
If you appreciate the work he has done with you then send him a nice... (read in full...)
Boyfriend travels constantly and has friends and family he refuses to let me meet
Q. I'm 44 years old, my boyfriend is 53. We have been dating for 4 years now. He has 2 jobs. One job has fee flying perks. So far in 4 years he has gone to Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, he went to Las Vegas and ...
A. 18 April 2017: Dear lady I think you are being cruelly used. What kind of relationship is it where he never takes you away? You never meet his family except by accident and you only see him three hours a week?
Please don't continue with this. There seems noth... (read in full...)
A week after losing my beloved dog, my partner wants to split up with me
Q. 4 weeks ago my gorgeous staffy died. She was 15 years old. I got her from rescue when she was 18 months old. I am still heartbroken over her death. I knew it was coming as she hadn't been herself for a while and she was on steroids. I had to get ...
A. 18 April 2017: At the moment feelings are raw. I would advise you both to take things slowly. Don't rush to enforce decisions which you might later regret.
In the meantime may I suggest a trip to the dog's home? There are so many animals just waiting to give thei... (read in full...)
Are my own strong feelings for guy number one affecting my feelings for guy number two? Is this why I can't commit ?
Q. Six years ago, I was going through a very weird stage in my life. Mentally. The following year, I ended up being diagnosed with anxiety and impulsive control disorder. During this time I met this guy, and my whole life changed. He is the male...
A. 13 April 2017: I don't think you are in the right state of mind to be in a relationship at all. It can take years to get over someone. Until you are completely free you are better off staying free and enjoying being your own person.
It isn't fair to your new boyf... (read in full...)
My housemate has invited her new Bf to stay in my home over Easter. I feel intimidated and think he's a criminal. What can I do ?
Q. My housemate (lodger) has recently starting dating someone from a foreign organised crime background and they are staying over this weekend in my home. My housemate met this person on holiday 5 weeks ago and has been seeing this person every week...
A. 13 April 2017: Either tell her that she may not invite this person into your house or give her notice to quit. It can be difficult to be tough about these things, but sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns.... (read in full...)
I don't really feel like a part of my boyfriend's family and I know his sister dislikes me immensely. How can I try to become friends with her?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 2 years and I don't really feel like a part of his family. He isn't an only child and his parents work pretty much full time to support quite a large family, which I fully understand. Whenever I have spo...
A. 11 April 2017: You should look up the Benjamin Franklin effect.
In his autobiography, Franklin explains how he dealt with the animosity of a rival legislator when he served in the Pennsylvania legislature in the 18th century:
"Having heard that he ha... (read in full...)
Is it time to end this relationship? 2
Q. Hi hope someone can help. I've been with my fiance for over 3 years now lately my feelings for him have changed due to him almost cheating on me. He went to the pub with his mates and I was meeting him later in the same pub. I walked in and caught...
A. 10 April 2017: You might as well end it. His attentions are elsewhere. You will be doing the both of you a favour.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend slept with married woman before we dated
Q. I found out through old messages that my bf slept with a married woman before. It bothers me because I believe marriage is sacred. Also I never would have thought that my bf would do something like that. But in the messages he told his friend that ...
A. 10 April 2017: Your curiosity has opened a Pandora's box. You either have to trust that he will be true to you or else be haunted throughout your time together with the suspicion that he will cheat on you. It's your call.... (read in full...)
I've been unemployed for 3 years, having a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings
Q. hi all. I am a life science post graduate. I graduated three years before. And worse part is, I'm unemployed for last three years. I love shopping and used to do so in my college days. The problem is my mother used to scold me whenever I was abou...
A. 10 April 2017: Depression, self assertion problems, low self-esteem. Do you think that perhaps it is time to get some professional help? It is quite common that fairly intelligent people can be very slow to pick up on how to help themselves.
If money is the prob... (read in full...)
Boyfriend likes to ejaculate on my boobs and face and he finds this "adorable". Is this normal guy behavior?
Q. Ok I need some other perspectives on this. My boyfriend is just my second sexual partner, so I'm not sure what to make of this. He's also 11 years older and way more experienced. Anyway, he's really good in bed compared to my first boyfriend. He ...
A. 10 April 2017: This has become more normal, in my opinion, over the last 20 or 30 years. As long as he is attending to your needs as well then let him enjoy it. ... (read in full...)
He won't accept my apologies! How do I get him to listen?
Q. So today my boyfriend and I were having a great time.He came over to fix my computer.He is so clumsy and dirty.And I'm not clumsy and I love my room and bathroom clean.So he made a mess in my bathroom and I got mad at him and then we went pass ...
A. 10 April 2017: Where do I start? You are both acting like children. You don't know how to talk to each other and the results you are now enjoying, or not, are because you both have not respected the other.
Stop calling him because that is making him feel more powe... (read in full...)
Married man gave me his phone number!
Q. I'm a blogger and I'm trying to get an interview with this married guy I'm semi-acquainted with on social media (I'm married too). We follow each other and we have never spoken until a few days ago when I asked him if he would be interested in ...
A. 8 April 2017: Sorry but I disagree with many of the comments by other aunts and uncles. If you are in the business of news gathering it is completely normal to get someone's phone number.
You sound as if you may be new to this so I guess you haven't started buil... (read in full...)
My boyfriend texted his ex and said he missed her
Q. Hi all, I think I've got a messy situation on my hands... I love my boyfriend very much. We've been together for half a year and he had only just broken up with his ex when we got together. He was with her for 3 years. Normally I wouldn't be ...
A. 8 April 2017: I think his comment was inappropriate You have every right to be upset with him. He shouldn't be contacting her saying he misses her. It sounds like he has regrets, and that means he can't focus on you.
Sort this out now and save yourself pain late... (read in full...)
Married man gave me his phone number!
Q. I'm a blogger and I'm trying to get an interview with this married guy I'm semi-acquainted with on social media (I'm married too). We follow each other and we have never spoken until a few days ago when I asked him if he would be interested in ...
A. 7 April 2017: Interviews are always best done face to face. A good reporter can read body language and inflections, and know when to press and when not to.
If the distance between you is too great then phone or Skype might have to do. You can also present your... (read in full...)
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