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Is it possible for men to move on so quickly?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi, I need some advice. I was in a relationship with a guy for one year. We had a great relationship until September this year then we started to argue because his behaviour changed towards me and I also fell out with my best friend because I thought they were cheating on me with each other. He ended up dumping me. He swears he hasn't moved on in the 8 weeks since he dumped me and we still talk occasionally. He also still says he never EVER had any interest in anyone else, he is telling the truth and always did...and one day it will see that he was telling the truth and the relationship ended for nothing. I would like to know if its possible for men to move on so quickly, and if he has, why would he want to keep in touch with me? Surely it would be easier if he just cut all ties with me??

View related questions: best friend, move on

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (4 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI think you are better off breaking ties with him. You obviously don't trust him therefore just tell him no more contact.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2017):

Denizen agony auntDoesn't sound that hopeful does it. I think you should put this one to one side.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi Denizen

When I say moved on I mean meet someone else. He has even sworn on his daughters lives he didn't cheat on me.

I went through a bad time with my best friend stalking me, and throughout I don't think he was very supportive and he seemed to stick up for her. Then she told me she had seen him on the train one day but he had avoided her and ignored her. When I asked him he totally denied it..and still does to this day.

When you say he still there for me, he has arranged to meet up twice since..both his idea...and has cancelled either the evening before or the day we should have met

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada + , writes (30 December 2016):

BrownWolf agony aunt

YES!!! Men can turn off there emotions much easier than women. Especially if they are angry or cheating.

Secondly...There is someone else if he moved on that fast. His emotions have turned off you, and now on to someone else.

Women have very go instincts when it comes to sensing a man's cheating. We try to hide as best we can, but you still sense it.

Best thing to do, is to move on yourself. Last thing you want, is to be the girl he comes back to, if things don't work out with the other girl.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (30 December 2016):

Denizen agony auntBy 'move on' do you mean find another partner or get over being with you? Also I would like to ask you if you had good reason to doubt his fidelity?

He is either a mighty good liar swearing to his faithfulness or you were overly jealous and drove him away.

Whichever is true, do you want to take a second crack at it? It sounds as if he is still there for you, if you want him.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (30 December 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou need to decide whether you want a relationship with this guy or not.

If you do, then you need to talk about a reconciliation. If not, then you need to cut ties (it takes two to keep contact going so you can do it just as easily as him) and move on.

As you are not in a relationship at present, it has nothing to do with you whether he has moved on or not.

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