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How do I get him to last longer?

Tagged as: Long distance, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

M boyfriend and I are in a Long Distance Relationship. We see each other every 4-6 weeks.

I've been noticing that when we have sex, he doesn't last long... no more than maybe a minute or two at most. His explanation is that because he goes without for 4-6 weeks when I'm not there, that it's natural he can't keep it in for as long as couples who have sex on a regular basis. I understand that... however, if I'm there for two weeks, by the end of the second week, he should be able to last longer... especially if we do it 2-3 times per day. But still, he can't seem to hold it. I'm not upset but rather frustrated. I do see him trying but it doesn't last long enough to pleasure me. We're not into foreplay either because I think neither of us knows what to do... I somewhat enjoy what he does, but I don't think he does it well.

I just don't know how to make him last longer....

View related questions: foreplay, his ex, last longer, long distance

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2017):

Premature ejaculation in young men is a sure sign of physical fatigue and being out of shape. He should have a health checkup,exercise,eat healthy,get enough sleep and take medicines if required.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (9 January 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Andie's Thoughts is dead on.

Most men believe that a penis is for pleasure...So wrong.

There is a reason why woman need 20 minutes to get even close to orgasm, and a man averages around of two minutes.

The penis is to finish her off, not start her up. FOREPLAY is name of the game. For men to learn that two hands, lips, tongue, and teeth for nibbling, can turn her 20 minutes into 5 minutes.

When he get you down to two on :)

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (9 January 2017):

Denizen agony auntThis can be awkward for both of you. He needs to understand that your timings are different. However he can still be a good lover.

There are several simple things to do. First he can relieve himself sexually beforehand so that there is not so much tension there. If he has a full bladder that will also help delay his climax. He can distract himself by thinking of something else when he feels he is about to come - not very romantic, but I have heard of some guys replaying a football game in their head, LOL.

But more than anything he can help you to a climax before he even gets started. You will be able to encourage him to join in your favourite turn-ons whether it be oral, a toy, or even just caressing parts of you which give you pleasure. For some women it doesn't necessarily have to be genital stimulation to bring you to the point.

If none of this works then the GP might prescribe some Viagra or similar to keep him erect.

Hope all that gives you something to work with?

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (9 January 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYour problem is that you refuse to learn foreplay. He won't be able to do tons of penetration and you probably won't orgasm from it reliably because 70%+ women can't.

I wouldn't advise having sex that many times a day, especially with almost no foreplay; it'll become monotonous and dull.

Read up on foreplay together, but most of it is just trying new things you feel able to try and telling each other what feels good and what feels naff.

If you learn some good foreplay, then him lasting longer won't affect your orgasm because he can focus on you. Foreplay doesn't just have to be before penetration.

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