A
female
age
51-59,
*abugs
writes:I have a fantasy and I am not sure how to approach my boyfriend about it. I don't want him to think I'm weird/something wrong with me or to embarrass him. I know it is natural for men to masturbate and I have no problem with him doing it. However, when I think about him doing it or picture him doing it I get really turned on. I really want him to let me do it for him, or him let me watch, watch me do myself, or do it together sometimes. I really would like to be able to tell him my fantasies and him tell me his. Mostly so I can make his happen. I am willing to do anything for him as long as it is between me and him. I'm 49 and he is 50. Our sex life is fantastic and I love how he touches me so I don't want to upset him with this. He is the dominant lover and I'm the submissive one. Actually I think I'm submissive by nature. I really like to be told what to do. He is very private about somethings and I don't want him to be mad about the masturbating part. I am worried that me asking for advice on here may upset him. I have let him know I would love to give him oral or a hand job but he never ask me to or better yet just order me to do it. He stresses a lot and I would just like him to be able to sit back and let me relieve his stress. Is there something wrong with me, am I not good enough, or does he just not want me to be part of his self love? How do I approach this with him?
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hand-job, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (8 August 2017):
Just be upfront with him. Tell him what you really want, and how you want it. If he is an open person, he will gladly do it.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 January 2017):
 Try not to over think it, you are probably building it up more in your head than it actually will be. While being intimate just whisper in his ear what you want.
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A
female
reader, Mabugs +, writes (4 January 2017):
Mabugs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I just couldn't get the nerve up this past weekend. I'm so afraid my boyfriend will not be receptive to my fantasies. I really just don't know how to introduce the subject. Thank you for your advice I just wish I could find the nerve to do as you all say!!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 January 2017):
So how did the weekend go? Did it work?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2016): Don't tell him.Wait for the moment.When you are having sex together, or in the foreplay stage more likely, you can then introduce the concept to him.It is sexiest when it is done unexpectedly and when you take charge.Perhaps start playing with yourself and let him watch. This might start the ball rolling. Then you can tell him what you want him to do. Whisper it in his ear...Trust me, you are going to impress him! :)
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A
female
reader, Mabugs +, writes (30 December 2016):
Mabugs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice and help everyone. I still haven't gotten the nerve to do anything yet but I'm hoping maybe this weekend. I am happy to know that there is nothing wrong with me:) and that I am not weird!!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (30 December 2016):
Sometimes men love it when a woman just does whatever she wants, and shocks the crap out of us.
If you are lying in bed, just start playing with him, and then move into oral or a handjob. Once he is turned on, you could pretty much ask him for anything at the moment.
There is nothing wrong with you...I think most guys here probably envy your boyfriend right now.
Most men are trisexual when it comes to women...They will try anything sexual.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (30 December 2016):
 It's all in the way you ask. Don't hold a summit conference first, but if while you are love making you ask something like,'Touch yourself for me', it becomes a shared experience and not a totally voyeuristic one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2016): There's nothing wrong with you at all. I'm in your general age group and I've watched my boyfriend masturbate and he's watched me masturbate. He is also a dominant type. Both were my fantasies and he was all for it. Don't be afraid to tell him this is a fantasy of yours. The worst that can happen is that he will say no, but I'd be very surprised if he did.
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