I saw a condom in his wallet and now it's gone!
Q. I am in a very deep pain. And I have no where to go and ask. Please help. I am married for 15 years. I have three kids. I saw a condom in my husband wallet when he went on a trip to New York with his friends. How i found out was Taking out money fo...
A. 22 February 2017: I don't believe the story about using a condom to stop making a mess during massage. That sounds complete BS. If anything it makes me more convinced he is cheating on you big time.
If you believe that story you are the fool he takes you for.
I don... (read in full...)
Boyfriend looks up his ex on facebook and then looks at porn. I don't like this!
Q. Rcently my boyfriend gave me his facebook password because he had been flirting with girls and ex girlfriends in the past and it drove a wedge between us. We got over that after I deactivated my facebook so I couldn't see what he was doing and so ...
A. 13 February 2017: You turned out to be not the mug he took you for, and decided to cut and run. Thank heaven for the escape you've had.
You will need time to heal, but it will happen. In the meantime look after yourself; a few treats, perhaps lavish some beauty trea... (read in full...)
I thought we shared values. Have I read her wrongly?
Q. There's a young lady that I've been interested in for the past 4 month and it was very clear she was into me before we got separated during a one month (December to January) college break. I'm pretty sure she knows that I was into her but I didn't ...
A. 11 February 2017: If I were you I wouldn't stop being, 'A nice guy'. That is a lovely feature and I suspect what is truly indicative of you nature.
All I would say is don't act like a prude because of some misplaced religious values.
If you decide not to continue... (read in full...)
Should I keep contact with my aggressive, hardline parents?
Q. For the past 33 years, I have had a very rocky relationship with my parents, especially with my Mum. I do believe my Mum is narcissist who is unforgiving and selfish and I've only realised this in the past 3 years, since I've been with my boyfriend. ...
A. 10 February 2017: Why would you want to prolong this unsavoury relationship with parents who treat you so badly? I can't see what you gain from it except some misplaced sense of duty?
Go and enjoy the rest of your life free from the tyranny -is that too strong a word... (read in full...)
I thought we shared values. Have I read her wrongly?
Q. There's a young lady that I've been interested in for the past 4 month and it was very clear she was into me before we got separated during a one month (December to January) college break. I'm pretty sure she knows that I was into her but I didn't ...
A. 10 February 2017: Because you are a Christian, doesn't mean you have to live like a monk. I don't recall any of Jesus' teachings that forbade normal courtship.
If anyone is telling you different then you must go back to your New Testament and look for anything to s... (read in full...)
I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?
Q. My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...
A. 9 February 2017: We all have a past, but it is just that. If you love your wife then focus on all the love she gives you - and your family.
And as for your, "best friend", what a shit he is. Not only could he be mistaken, but it is the sort of suspicion a gent... (read in full...)
How can manage to be less idealistic in this situation? I accidentally idealize my LDR partner and get disappointed when my expectations don't mesh with reality
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship which is hard because in his absence, I fill in the gaps of who I think he is or what he's like from memory and my memory is always more rosy than reality. Like right now I just think he's the greatest I want to ...
A. 9 February 2017: I'm trying to work out what your question is. Your feelings are normal for the situation you find yourself in. Is it worth it? Is it worth saving yourself for an ideal?
I think it depends on what your relationship was like before you had to main... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me going out with male friends for drinks
Q. Am I in the wrong ? After recently starting uni I made a small group of three male friends whom I worked on an assessment with and we automatically became friends. We are all older than the normal uni starting age so its nice to have someone on ...
A. 9 February 2017: You can make all the excuses for him you like, but that doesn't make his behaviour in any way acceptable by any normal standards.
It isn't your problem. It is his. And you are not his health professional. It isn't your job to try and fix him.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend looks up his ex on facebook and then looks at porn. I don't like this!
Q. Rcently my boyfriend gave me his facebook password because he had been flirting with girls and ex girlfriends in the past and it drove a wedge between us. We got over that after I deactivated my facebook so I couldn't see what he was doing and so ...
A. 8 February 2017: Oh come on!
"He looks at her pics late night." In what universe is that OK?
When you are a grown up you have to stop certain things because they are unjustifiable. They are disrespectful to you. And they suggest that he might still have unresolv... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me going out with male friends for drinks
Q. Am I in the wrong ? After recently starting uni I made a small group of three male friends whom I worked on an assessment with and we automatically became friends. We are all older than the normal uni starting age so its nice to have someone on ...
A. 8 February 2017: Lady, his behaviour is totally unacceptable. You aren't property, you aren't even married - not that that should make a difference.
I think this is a deal breaker. You cannot live your life under someone's thumb. It is controlling and it is wron... (read in full...)
Do you think he actually likes me, in the same way that I like him?
Q. I really am crushing on this boy at my uni. It has been going on for quite some time but I don’t see him very often – maybe once or twice a month. Sometimes I don’t see him for a few months. We have very different classes and schedules. We ha...
A. 7 February 2017: You are exaggerating this out of all proportion. It sounds like you have been reading too many Mills and Boon stories.
If you want to be sure then ask him to join you for a coffee. It is allowed.
Step out of your dream fantasy world and start to... (read in full...)
Does he sound like a shy guy?
Q. I am in my 40s and have just recently become friendly with a school dad. I sort of knew about him at school (he is a single dad), chatted briefly to him at a party last year and hadn't spoken since. He didn't really acknowledge me and then I ga...
A. 7 February 2017: No he doesn't sound like a shy guy. He sounds like a man who likes his own company. He isn't unfriendly, but he likes to chose when and to whom he chats.
If he wants to talk to you then he will in his own time.... (read in full...)
My GCSE soon. Feel I am running out of time to ask her out. but I'm hesitant and shy about it. what can I do?
Q. After asking multiple questions on this site I can now confirm that a girl I know well has a crush on me (she keeps staring) and I like her back. It's almost like a magnet; almost as if we are fated to be with each other. Whenever she stares at me...
A. 7 February 2017: Shyness is a control technique. It is way of trying to make people come to you. You stay quiet; you stay in the background so that people will be drawn in. They come to you. Seems so easy.
You can play out your whole life like this. BUT, I thin... (read in full...)
Is there slightly more creative way of surprising her with these books, other than handing her the present and saying Happy Birthday?
Q. Not really a relationship question but any help is appreciated. Recently A Series of Unfortunate Events has made it's way onto Netflix and I have a female friend who absolutely loved it. She and I both share a particular liking for th...
A. 7 February 2017: "My question to you guys is this. Is there slightly more creative way of surprising her with these books as opposed to just showing it to her and saying Happy Birthday?"
Obviously not the real question you were asking as we can now see from your... (read in full...)
We're on a break so he can deal with his issues and I need advice on how to manage this!
Q. My boyfriend has been depressed for a month now. At first, he didn't know as he'd never experienced it but as I have, I started noticing it and told him. His relationship with his father is strained and his father has been putting immense ...
A. 6 February 2017: I feel sorry for you. Dealing with a depressed person in unenviable. If I were you I would treat it as if it were over. You can't help him, that is clear. He doesn't want your help and you may even be part of the problem. He isn't seeing things ... (read in full...)
I saw a condom in his wallet and now it's gone!
Q. I am in a very deep pain. And I have no where to go and ask. Please help. I am married for 15 years. I have three kids. I saw a condom in my husband wallet when he went on a trip to New York with his friends. How i found out was Taking out money fo...
A. 6 February 2017: Yes, you have reason to worry. It isn't certain but it does seem likely, coupled with the massage incidents.
The thing is, if you confront him and get him to admit it, can your marriage survive? Could you forgive this?
Relationship counsell... (read in full...)
Is there slightly more creative way of surprising her with these books, other than handing her the present and saying Happy Birthday?
Q. Not really a relationship question but any help is appreciated. Recently A Series of Unfortunate Events has made it's way onto Netflix and I have a female friend who absolutely loved it. She and I both share a particular liking for th...
A. 4 February 2017: You could write a series of clues that she has to follow in order to get her gift. For added sparkle make them rhyme.... (read in full...)
One of my parents is a bully!
Q. Since I was young, I have pretty much always felt generally low in confidence and down/angry around 1 of my parents in particular. They still live at home with me and my other parent, and are my biological parent. This parent has acted rather con...
A. 4 February 2017: You say you are in your mid 20s. You are an adult. Time to leave the nest. Don't carry this around with you for the rest of your life. Make a life for yourself that you like; that you enjoy. What are you waiting for - an invitation? Destiny doesn't ... (read in full...)
I need help to face my fears so I can ask her out!
Q. Hey ppl, I need some advice. I'll try to keep it short. I like a girl. I have a bad case of social anxiety. I think she used to like me too but think I've waited too long and she's loosing/lost interest.I get to see her once a week. Most times...
A. 1 February 2017: I have seen this question before, and by someone from your country. There are answers that have already been given on this so please check the files for the advice already given. ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to relax and be content in the moment.
Q. I've been dating a great guy for a few months now. In the first few weeks, we had 2 minor communication mishaps, but it's generally been smooth sailing. My friends and family like him, and his like me. It's the first healthy relationship I'v...
A. 31 January 2017: As you are working with a counsellor it would be inappropriate for us to comment, or advise.
These are the issues you must address with your health professional.
However I can say that if you are happy dating this young man as you say then tha... (read in full...)
Should we talk things over or let him go ? His lies and his baby Mama have helped drive us apart.
Q. MODNOTE: two near identical questions combined with additional material from the second question combined below with the first question . . . . . . . . . Dear Cupid Am a 40 year old female with two children from my previous marriage. When I los...
A. 24 January 2017: It doesn't sound like you get much out of this relationship except abuse, stress, mistrust, and aggravation. He would need to be exceptional for anyone to put up with that long term.
Put down your terms on a take-it-or-leave-it stance. Then let the ... (read in full...)
Communication issues with LDR boyfriend. Is it normal not to talk every day?
Q. I've been having issues w/communication frequency and attention w/my bf. We met online and have met in person a couple times. He came up for almost 2 weeks almost a month ago and everything is always amazing w/us when we are physically together ...
A. 24 January 2017: It is even harder to keep the intensity in a long distance relationship than in real life - I use that phrase advisedly. After all, what is it based on?
He has realised that he needs to let some space into the communications. I would allow him to d... (read in full...)
My wife left me for her ex, who found her on Facebook and now wants to come back. Should I give her a second chance ?
Q. My wife was contacted by an ex on Facebook who first said he only wanted to be friends, then indicated he wanted more. She showed me his messages and told me they dated in high school and college and she broke up with him twice. The first time...
A. 22 January 2017: I would not give this one another chance in a million years. If she left you because she wanted a 'real man' then she should stick to what she chose. You were certainly man enough to walk her down the aisle.
Thank your lucky stars you are youn... (read in full...)
I lied to my husband about maxing out my credit card and he found out
Q. So today my husband found out that i maxed my (our) credit card. He was upset by this. Which i dont blame him. Ive totally broken his trust in me. I was going to say that i dont know why i lied about it. But i do. I lied because he gets ver...
A. 22 January 2017: You don't have to agree anything on the spot. You can always say I need time to consider this. Make some notes of things you want to say so that you don't forget. If possible reord the conversation between the two of you.... (read in full...)
Am I too selfish to love anyone? Where or how do I begin to determine what needs to be fixed within me?
Q. I'm in a place now where my mentality is adversely affecting my ability to attract a mate. I'll start off by saying as of now, I see women as sex itself. For the most part, I don't care about their dreams, goals, past, family, etc. When I'm aroun...
A. 21 January 2017: If you think you are then you are probably right. You could try lending a hand helping someone who really needs it. Maybe you will discover the rewards of giving. Volunteer for something; some community project perhaps like clearing a public space. ... (read in full...)
Why does this keep happening? Am I trying too hard? Is this a confidence issue within me?
Q. Why does every close group stop being close as soon as I join? This has been happening since I was little. The whole main reason I joined gymnastics is because I wanted friends. But everyone was so mean to me. They all had their hair done up and ...
A. 21 January 2017: Well, you tell us. If it is really true and not just your imagination then you have to analyse what particular facet of your being is putting people off.
And it seems to be more. If what you say is correct you actually appear to be driving grou... (read in full...)
I lied to my husband about maxing out my credit card and he found out
Q. So today my husband found out that i maxed my (our) credit card. He was upset by this. Which i dont blame him. Ive totally broken his trust in me. I was going to say that i dont know why i lied about it. But i do. I lied because he gets ver...
A. 21 January 2017: Staying with his mummy is he? Well make it clear if he wants to come and collect any of his things he should ring ahead so that you can either be out, or at least prepared.
Then you might want to consider changing locks. I definitely thing some rela... (read in full...)
I'm starting to miss him. Was leaving the best option? How do I heal from being a victim in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Hello, After Christmas (2016) I left my partner, as I came to realise I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. It was slowly wearing me down and I started to get ill; for the first time in nearly 20 years, my eczema came back and spread all...
A. 20 January 2017: You imagine his life as being unchanged without you. It's a fantasy. And even if it were true then that would show how unimportant you were to him.
Do not undervalue yourself. Hold your head up and start to chart your own direction. Life can beco... (read in full...)
Why can't I shake this crush?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles.. I'll make this as quick as possible.. I have been working at my company for 8 months now. I have a few bosses here, but there is one in particular who I am so incredibly attracted to. From the minute I met him in our ...
A. 20 January 2017: Is there any chance you can change jobs? There is a multitude of answers on this topic on Dear Cupid and you should consult the files for the nuggets of wisdom on workplace romance. ... (read in full...)
I lied to my husband about maxing out my credit card and he found out
Q. So today my husband found out that i maxed my (our) credit card. He was upset by this. Which i dont blame him. Ive totally broken his trust in me. I was going to say that i dont know why i lied about it. But i do. I lied because he gets ver...
A. 20 January 2017: What you tell us shows what an unhappy situation you have been living in. Change is scary after eight years but I don't see how living in this oppressive relationship can be right for you.
Making decisions is the most empowering thing. You have orga... (read in full...)
I lied to my husband about maxing out my credit card and he found out
Q. So today my husband found out that i maxed my (our) credit card. He was upset by this. Which i dont blame him. Ive totally broken his trust in me. I was going to say that i dont know why i lied about it. But i do. I lied because he gets ver...
A. 19 January 2017: I am confused by your angst over the credit card. What does the bill amount to? The first order of the day must be to clear the debt because the interest is horrendous. Perhaps he should sell a toy - or two - to clear it, as it was for used for ... (read in full...)
Should I end things? Boyfriend's friends are vulgar and rude
Q. Should I end my relationship?. My boyfriends friends make disrespectful comments , such as saying "get them off" to me ( meaning my underwear ), and asking my boyfriend if his finger has been inside me ( you know where ), and making gay rumours up ...
A. 19 January 2017: They sound like an unsavoury bunch. If you have to endure this you might save up a few choice comebacks to use.
In the longer term you need to start building a different social circle.
Organise a few dinners with your friends and their partners... (read in full...)
I lied to my husband about maxing out my credit card and he found out
Q. So today my husband found out that i maxed my (our) credit card. He was upset by this. Which i dont blame him. Ive totally broken his trust in me. I was going to say that i dont know why i lied about it. But i do. I lied because he gets ver...
A. 19 January 2017: There seems a lot of inequality in you financial arrangement with your spouse. I think it is time to sit down together and redraw the rules about what you pay in and to where; what you are allowed to keep for personal expenses; what you put aside ... (read in full...)
Am I assuming too much? Should just leave now, as he resembles some qualities of my ex?
Q. Modnote: Two very similar posts started off the same and were from the same poster. The two have been combined herein. without repeating the identical start . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . So I have been going out with this guy for...
A. 17 January 2017: Presumably your ex wasn't all bad so sharing qualities with your new man may be part of the reason you are attracted.
I think it is commendable that he doesn't want to cycle with you. Some people would but for others it just spoils their enjo... (read in full...)
How do I ask my parents for a day off study?
Q. Hi everyone i need some advice on parents.. So recently my parents told me not to go for hangouts with my friends as my exams are in April. They were also worried at first that i was not going to get an offer from any of my universities, bu...
A. 17 January 2017: You are old enough to make important decisions. In UK, 16 is the age of consent. It is also the age you can join the army.
I think you could gently put your foot down this once and say, 'I need to take a day off'.
You write: 'If my dad says no,... (read in full...)
I live at home and my Mum won't let me clean it up, its a biohazard mess!
Q. It's a long story, but I got laid off from my job last year and I live at home with my mom. I feel like I've failed at life and this wasn't how I thought I would turn out, but this is just background information. What's going on is that I'm ...
A. 17 January 2017: You can of course clean some areas which you are entitled to do: your room, the bathroom, probably even the kitchen. With the communal areas you may not be supported by her in keeping it clean but I can't imagine she would stop you.
However I noti... (read in full...)
I get pouty when we are apart and he doesn't text!
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 Submissions combined. I'm embarrassed to even ask this question, but how often can I expect my BF to text me when we're not together? A little background- we've been together about 4 months. He's very kind, patient, considerate, an...
A. 15 January 2017: It is lovely you are so devoted. While you are apart you should be developing your own interests. Then, when you are together you bring something extra with you. There is a saying that trees do not grow well in their own shadow. Having you own ... (read in full...)
Should I just quit the job I hate?
Q. I have been working for the same company as a CNA for 5 years and I absolutely hate my job. I went back to school for dietary aide and I just got a offer in different facility to work in the kitchen.I went for training and I must say I like the job ...
A. 15 January 2017: Thank you Honeyppie. That has cleared that up for me. :-) OP you are right about not leaving a job until you have another. It is much easier to get a job if you already have one. And it is certainly a more secure way to do things. Life is too shor... (read in full...)
I'm so in love with him but I don't even think I know who he is!
Q. So ive been with my boyfriend a year and 2 months now. I recently found out he was lying about having a Facebook, I never cared he had one in the first place because I trusted him. So I'm on my moms Facebook and I see he still had it when he told me ...
A. 14 January 2017: You were in love with the person you thought he was, not who he turned out to be. How recent is this stuff? Has he put it behind him since he has been with you? If so he deserves a chance.
However I would say no more FaceBook messaging to other girl... (read in full...)
Should I just quit the job I hate?
Q. I have been working for the same company as a CNA for 5 years and I absolutely hate my job. I went back to school for dietary aide and I just got a offer in different facility to work in the kitchen.I went for training and I must say I like the job ...
A. 14 January 2017: CNA - what is that: China Northern Airlines; Caribbean News Agency; Canadian Numismatic Association; Cisco Network Assistant; Certified National Accountant?
Anyway you don't like it. In fact you hate it, but you like your new job. However you aren... (read in full...)
What kind of dating etiquette should I go by?
Q. Sometimes when I go on a date with people, I'm not quite sure how it went. Sometimes I think it went well and I don't hear back from them. Is it worth messaging and saying "hey, would you like go on another date?" even after a a few days after date ...
A. 12 January 2017: Yes of course try and arrange another date. She isn't going to call you, you numpty! Preferably ask her before you part for the evening on date one.
And don't say anything as geeky as, "Did u see this as more of a friendship chemistry?" Act norm... (read in full...)
What makes a relationship different from a friendship?
Q. What makes a relationship diffrent from a friendship? I'm twenty one and my boyfriend is eighteen. At first he would call me pet names say random sweet things and say he loves me randomly and he hasn't done that for the last couple of months (we've ...
A. 12 January 2017: I don't think he is adult enough for you. Girls mature faster than boys. Perhaps he has a bit more growing up to do. Anyway you can't rush it. Perhaps you should gently drop him and find someone more on your level.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 5 months constantly mentions how good looking he is
Q. Dear Cupid, I (25 years old) have recently started going out with a 26 year old guy. He is a gentleman, treats me well, but I've noticed one red flag (or at least, I think it is a red flag) about him. He constantly mentions how good looking he ...
A. 12 January 2017: This sounds bizarre. I don't think I have met anyone as vain as you describe. I think I would just have to take the piss out of him. What's more I would encourage all my friends to take the piss out of him too. I would rag him rotten until he either ... (read in full...)
| *enizen's friends
These are mutual friends, so *enizen has
added them and they have added *enizen!
|
