A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do men suddenly disappear? And should I reach out or let it go?Here's the situation : I met a guy a year ago. I gave him my phone number. He lives in a different city but for one year, casually kept in touch (maybe one text a month). Then in Nov, he came to my city. Took me on two dates. Amazing dates. We face timed after he went home and then he said it was a "crazy" idea but invited me to visit him in his city. I did. We had a wonderful time. We both said so.Then he was sent away for 3 weeks during the holidays. He texted me every single day, even emailed me questions to get to know me better. We talked several times, 2 hour phone calls. Then he went to see his family. And got cold. Texts were shorter and less flirty. Now he's home again and I didn't hear from him in 2 days. Very unusual. I then texted him (he had been sick while with his family). He answered right away but not super involved. Today I didn't text him and didn't hear from him.The behavior since he was home with his parents is a 180. So what should I do? Call him? Give him space? Text and ask what's up?I don't understand the sudden switch. My only thought is he decided he doesn't want to do long distance relationship but he hasn't said a thing.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2017):
 Honestly I think at your age (mid to late thirties) he should be capable off talking. If he runs then he is obviously not wanting anything serious. Surely he is to old for this play ground behaviour?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut Aunt Honesty - is it too early to ask those kind of questions? You know, men view it as a "talk" and might freak out?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (13 January 2017):
Is it possible he could have met with an ex in his home town? It won't do any harm to ask him why the U turn. Just ask and see what he has to say. If he denies anything is wrong then just cut contact it is obvious he has lost interest.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (12 January 2017):
 I think you are right. It is hard to maintain enthusiasm for a long-distance relationship. There aren't many pluses I can name that are associated with them.
So I wouldn't take this setback personally. You had a great time. However distance will dampen any romantic relationship - at least that is my take on it.
Now concentrate on finding someone nearer home. unless one of you is prepared to move in proximity to the other.
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