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How do I make my cousin love me back?

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 October 2016) 25 Answers - (Newest, 11 January 2017)
A male Iraq age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back so i dont know if she accepts me but im chatting her every single day so she knew that i love her but she ignored me for 3 days and then i said hey im so sorry for what i have done so u wanna pls forgive me about it and she said okey ?? but now im chatting her all the days but i want to tell her that i love her but this is really hard i cant take her out of my heart so guys pls help me especially girls pls i cant live without her so now she is in germany maybe next year i can see her and how do i make her love me back and how can i tell her if she has boy friend ???

So pls help

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (11 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou need to stay away from your cousin or else you will end up having all off your family having a big huge fall out and over nothing because you will then realize that it was a crush not love but your family will never trust you again. You need to accept that your cousin is off limits, listen to the advice you get and move on with your life.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2017):

Denizen agony auntYou aren't listening OP. You are fantasising. You may have concocted feelings but they aren't based on anything real. Get your head out of the clouds and find someone near you who you can become attached to; a real girlfriend who lives in your neighbourhood.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntOP, you do not love her. You don't respect her either, or you'd just let go and move on. Accept that you shouldn't be with her and make the active decision to move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I really love her ??

I dont know but she is loving me too but i dont know if its fake or bo

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (28 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntJust because you are going to see her next year does not mean you need to talk to her now. If you leave her alone you will be well over her by then.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntThat's several months away - stop talking to her until you're over her, then just talk to her as you would talk to a brother.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2016):

Denizen agony auntDude - you can't make people love you, nor should you. Chat away by all means but realistically what are your expectations?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

But she is my cousin and 8/2017 im gonna see her so it will be shame for me that im not chatting with her

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2016):

N91 agony auntYou're right, she's not interested in chatting with you, so leave her be and move on.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntThat's okay. Now you can get over her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks anyone but . I think she is mad on me now because she doesnt answer me fast

She answers after 2 day and she is not interested chatting with me ??

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (17 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntThat is a good thing, now you stop texting her.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (17 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntThat's not a bad thing because you can get over your crush. Leave it be.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok thanks but now she stopped texting me ??

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (9 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntWe have, OP. You need to stick with it; it may take a few months.

Talk to her less.

Treat her like a boy cousin.

Don't compliment her on her looks.

Don't be alone with her.

Don't kiss/hug/lean on each other.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Im trying to forget her and take her out of my head but i cant ??

Tell me a way to forget her

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntAt 14 you should not even be thinking about marriage, legal or not it could turn out very messy. You are to young to be getting in to something like this. Treat her as a friend. Your crush will fade.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIt may be legal, but they are close family members and if there's a break up, it could pull the family apart.

You don't have to stop talking to her, just don't be alone together and treat her like you would with your boy cousin. Don't flirt, don't compliment her on her looks, don't talk to her as often and don't allow yourself to think of her like a girlfriend. Let the crush fade, OP.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

And marrying cousin is allowed in my country because my other cousins has married and my aunt too

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys but so hard to leave her :( does there any way to forget her because i dont want her to be mad at me because i dont talk with her she said that my other boy cousin is boring because hes not chatting with her

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (4 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou have a crush it is not love. Don't spend time alone with her, try and not contact her so much. You need to accept that she is your cousin, she is family not a potential girlfriend. Try and keep yourself busy and meet girls that are not relations.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIt means you're both acting inappropriately. If you won't block her, you need to treat her like a boy cousin, not let her lay on your chest or hold hands.

It's normal to have a crush, but it's a bad idea to allow it to continue.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks andie but she is my cousin so i cant block her

Thanks denizn but she hugs me so much and at night she was on my chest and taking my hand si what does that mean

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntStop talking to her for a while. Tell her you need a break and block her. This isn't going to work out, OP. You need to find someone who isn't a relative and who lives closer to you, so you can get to know them. Your cousin isn't a real person in your head because you don't see them often enough, so your brain makes them sound perfect, when they won't be.

Let go, block them and distract yourself with a hobby and friends who live near you.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2016):

Denizen agony auntThere is nothing so bitter sweet as unrequited love. However you don't love this person. You love the idea of being in love. You haven't had time to properly know her. She is a fantasy. It is difficult at your age because the hormones are running amok. My advice is to find a friend nearer home and one you can meet face to face.

This is important because it helps your body produce oxytocin, a vital hormone. Oxytocin has also been dubbed the hug hormone, cuddle chemical, moral molecule, and the bliss hormone due to its effects on behaviour.

It doesn't happen on Facebook, the phone or email. It is a vital part of trust, a key ingredient in a real relationship.

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