A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I like a guy I work with and have been getting closer to him. We've known each other for a few years now but before I was very shy. We have a bit of an age difference so that made me a bit more hesitant as I wasn't sure if he would be interested. Over time we've gotten to know each other and enjoy each other's company. Recently we've gone out to lunch a couple of times. He always pays and last time I asked him if he wanted to split but he refused. He also always opens the door for me even when I'm getting in the car.The one day after we came back to work from lunch he suddenly came up to me and told me how a couple of weeks ago his ex contacted him. Now I knew he was married before when he was very young and they divorced after a few years. He has mentioned his ex a few times, but never in a positive or negative way, just general stuff if it relates to what we're talking about. I don't even know her name. But this time he told me more about their relationship. I assumed he hadn't been with her since they divorced but apparently they had an on again off again relationship. This went on for over 10 years. It was mostly just for sex but he ended things with her because he wanted more, and from what I understand she got married at some point but strung him along without any intention of getting back with him. He hadn't been in contact with her for a few years, I believe before we even met. He said he told her off because he's done with her and how his sister was proud of him because he never rejected his ex before. What I wonder is what his intention was telling me this. Is he trying to show me that he's not interested in anyone else? I can't help but feel like maybe he rejected her for the first time because of me and somehow wanted to let me know.
View related questions:
divorce, his ex, I work with, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 January 2017):
 Yeah it does sound like he is interested in you. He is sharing his past with you and opening up to you, not to make you jealous but so that you understand him more, and that he is single. If you like him then you should invite him out for lunch and insist on you buying it for both off you, show him that you are interested as well.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (4 January 2017):
 When adults are serious about an ongoing relationship they tell the other person relative information about their pasts. It helps in understanding who they are and where they are coming from.
I would take his shared history as a good sign that he wants to be honest and open with you, with a view to forming a closer partnership.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 January 2017):
 How big is the age gap? Sometimes it's barely important and other times it makes a difference.You can ask him, or just ask where this is going, as you could just be going out as colleagues and he's still a gentleman.
...............................
|
