I'm cheating but there's only one life
Q. I'm a guy who is happily married in a long term relationship. While sex can sometimes be an issue between us- she has a very low sex drive- and it's often a discussion/argument that we have, it's not so bad that I would consider ending the ...
A. 29 November 2016: If your wife isn't into sex in the same way as you would she be happy to let you make other arrangements? The French seem to be more comfortable with this sort of thing than the British. It seems unfair to be deceiving your wife and yet I can ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, girlfriend is 14 ... I am thinking of breaking up because we cant find anywhere private!
Q. Am a 16 year old teenager in High School. Am currently a junior dating my 14 year old freshman girlfriend. We've been together 2 months and its been working out. Me and her have kissed before a couple of times, but never making out. The reason being ...
A. 29 November 2016: I seem to remember in the distant past that the cinema was a natural choice on Saturday afternoon. The park was also quite nice. Of course you shouldn't be attempting full intimacy because that could land you in big trouble. You do realise how the ... (read in full...)
My head is turning! how do stop this?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over 3 years. Our relationship has always been a bit turbulent. We have had issues as all relationships will suffer through from time to time, but we have always stuck it out and gotten through. We lived toget...
A. 29 November 2016: This other girl has just flagged up the cracks in you current relationship. It doesn't sound if she is for you. She probably allowed herself to flirt because there was little chance of it ever coming to anything.
As for your partner, you aren't resp... (read in full...)
Should I ask her to study with me .... I really like her!
Q. So in my Art History class there is this girl I find very attractive. Before class we usually have good small talk. Now the semester is coming close to an end and our final exam is coming up. I was thinking of asking her to study so I can spend more ...
A. 29 November 2016: Surely you can think of something more imaginative than study. Take a night off. Take her for a pizza. What is in your area that you might do together?
I think furtive fumbling disguised as study is a bit juvenile. I can see you are trying work some... (read in full...)
I'd like to ask her out, should I text her again?
Q. Looking for advice on a woman I just met recently and really like. Text her last night and she replied a few times but didn't reply since last night then. How long should I wait to text her again or should I not text her at all if she doesn't text ...
A. 29 November 2016: You need to suggest a date - something she might like - not necessarily something you would like. Faint heart never won fair lady.
If she isn't interested she will make an excuse. If she is interested but busy she will say something enco... (read in full...)
My head is turning! how do stop this?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over 3 years. Our relationship has always been a bit turbulent. We have had issues as all relationships will suffer through from time to time, but we have always stuck it out and gotten through. We lived toget...
A. 28 November 2016: Your relationship is under strain and a little bit of temptation comes up. Sure, you have the hots for someone else. It is common enough. What you do about it is the real question.
Whatever you do you should be honest with yourself, and ever... (read in full...)
How do you know if you are doing the right thing?
Q. Every now and again I still miss my ex, I love her which I hate to admit but I dont want her back. I feel like its having a child who just made you so angry but you still cant help loving them. I am in a new relationship and love my gf, just gone...
A. 25 November 2016: Take off the rose-tinted spectacles and remind yourself of all the infuriating, humiliating, frustrating things that told you it would never work.
It is a mistake to look back, and an even bigger one to try and go back. You will find all the same... (read in full...)
What does my best friend want from me? He is married but keeps asking for a secret relationship
Q. He is married for 7 months. And he wants me to be in secret relationship with him. We are close friends since very long time and back in our college days we used to like each other not genuinely but just like crush on each other. We got so ...
A. 24 November 2016: Surely you have some sort of moral compass? You can't really need us to tell you how wrong this is, and what a complete douche bag your friend is wanting to inveigle you into an extra marital liaison only 7 months after he was married.
And what... (read in full...)
I need to feel confident again!
Q. I have just come out of a lesson long term relationship(8 years). My ex is older than me by 15 years and we barely ever had sex, or even kissed for that matter! We certainly never kissed with tongues! My problem is that I have lost all confide...
A. 23 November 2016: Find someone with a gentle manner, and by the way not all older men have given up sex. Sometimes it's the opposite, so don't rule anyone out. Often an older guy can be more patient, considerate and understanding.
Let your natural feelings guide you.... (read in full...)
She broke her virginity with my brother and friend
Q. Well this happened Saturday during her 18th Birthday celebration, after I left for the night. anyways she had a threesome with one of my best friends and my younger brother and lost her virginity as well. (they did it about four times that night), ...
A. 23 November 2016: I can't ever see this working for you. A trust was broken by her, by your brother, and by the friend. You should call it quits and find someone who will put you before anyone else.
For heavens sake we are not just animals. We don't copulate wher... (read in full...)
Sexting and video chat is not enough for me ...
Q. So me and this guy talk but he lives like almost 3 hours away from me, and me and him sext all time but it's just not fun for me anymore... I feel bad because we can'r see each other and sexting is basically all we have... How do I make things fun ...
A. 21 November 2016: You can't change a negative into a positive but you can change it into reality. Unless one of you moves how will it get better. You have exhausted the gamut of techniques you used to get off while sexting. It can be an addiction in itself, and like ... (read in full...)
Am I his re-bound girl?
Q. He was in a long term relationship which broke down maybe 4-5 months ago. we have started talking online these past few weeks, but have been on each others social media pages since before the break-up ( just as friends or support) He knows i am her...
A. 21 November 2016: Be careful. Go slow. Find out more. Be prepared to break this connection. You are already expecting too much.... (read in full...)
My online girlfriend cheated on me.
Q. So, my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 years, because of her age and my age we never told our family the truth...that and we live a thousand miles a part and have only gotten to see each other twice. Well a month ago my girlfrien...
A. 21 November 2016: It is a shock when people don't turn out to be who you thought they were. She told you she wanted to experiment with another girl and you tried to forbid her. It's tough.
But you know what you want? You want a girlfriend you can hold and talk to f... (read in full...)
I want to sort everything out with my boyfriend!
Q. Sorry this is really long and kind of a rant but I need help sooooooo bad ?? Me an my boyfriend have been having a few problems latlely and it feels like I'm going to lose him. We've been together for 1 year and 3 months today and I need him like...
A. 21 November 2016: You need a face-to-face meeting. Be honest about what is happening, and what you expect. Ask what does he see as a problem and, importantly, listen.
Listening to what people say - and sometimes to what they don't say - is one of the most impo... (read in full...)
He lives in a different city and I really like him. How can I get him more interested in me?
Q. Hello! In a complicated situation. Help me out ! I really like this friend who lives in a different city. We have been on a couple of dates but we don't get to meet because of distance. I asked him out on a date recently but his response was " I ...
A. 20 November 2016: Sorry to tell you but it doesn't sound as if he is that into you. If he were he would be breaking down doors and leaping tall buildings to be with you. I think this may not be the best match for you. It seems too one sided.... (read in full...)
What happened to our relationship?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship. Everything was going great until about half a year ago. Our daily routine for the first two years of our relationship is to Facetime for about an hour and a half to two hours, while having dinner and watching...
A. 19 November 2016: It is hard doing LDR and I think yours has had its day. There is nothing going on to sustain it. Unless you meet up regularly, and have things going on in your lives to share it becomes pointless, boring and in fact without substance. You can't ... (read in full...)
Why are so many men scared of the real world ?
Q. Why are men scared of life ? ive given so many men chances after they claim so many excuses . they get given 'gold' to say they darent do things and no joke it could be smal things such as meeting up in a pub for a meal theyd rather end things ...
A. 19 November 2016: Could use a few more facts to fill out the picture. Is this your view of all men or just the ones you have dated?... (read in full...)
I really like him but I fear rejection. What can I do? What should I do?
Q. Modnote: two almost identical questions combined. ................................... dear cupid, ok so there is this guy that I really like he is a grade bigger than me, he used to like me at the beginning of the year (I could tell from the cle...
A. 18 November 2016: I think you should be careful. Your feelings can lead you astray. You didn't like this guy but now you do. You liked being liked, and now he has cooled off you are interested.
You should cast your net around for a new catch.
... (read in full...)
Which should choose to attend? Tribute band or the comedy? Both on the same night.
Q. Can anyone advise me on which show to go to tomorrow?. There are two great shows on tomorrow night in the same city. One is a comedy show. The other is a tribute band to a band that I like. I have seen both of them before. I will be going wit...
A. 18 November 2016: Sorry to hear you have been feeling depressed. What would you really like to talk about? You surely didn't write in about your choice of entertainment did you? I feel sure you didn't because that would be wasting people's valuable time with a rather ... (read in full...)
I'm losing my mind over my finances! This is worse than rock bottom. What do I do?
Q. I know this isn't exactly a relationship question but this is killing me. I'm in debt after helping out financially. I haven't been able to pay credit cards, haven't been able to find a second job and now, I'm in danger of losing my car. My ...
A. 18 November 2016: This is an awful experience you are going through. The way out is to face it. Pay off your smallest debts first. These are often to the smaller traders and businesses who need the cash flow more than larger organisations. Also it psychologically ... (read in full...)
How can I face loneliness?
Q. How can I stop feeling so lonely? I have just started the process of getting to know myself yes at 31- meaning finally dealing with my loniloness and not using escape mechanisms such as the wrong crowds(friends) to waste time with or men(bad ...
A. 16 November 2016: It is hard not to appear trite in answering. The problem is clearly very real to you. Are you extrovert or introvert? Extroverts gain energy from being with crowds. Introverts are drained by them and need time alone to recharge their batteries.
D... (read in full...)
My relationship seems to be breaking down, and I think I'm having a quarter-life crisis over it
Q. Long story short, I feel like I am having a quarter-life crisis. I turned 23 this year and although I am in a good career already and finished university, I have become paranoid about EVERYTHING. From the way I look to the friendships/relationships ...
A. 13 November 2016: I think you may be right - your relationship seems to be breaking down. You cannot change a negative into a positive. You can however change a negative into reality.
From the earliest wisdom comes 'acceptance'. If you can accept what is happ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about whether this guy is gay or straight
Q. I'm very confused about this guy is he straight or gay. Before we started talking their were a couple of instances he'd stare at me once in a supermarket once or twice in my gym. We started talking through one of the social media platforms and what...
A. 12 November 2016: I'm confused about why you are asking. How would we know? You need to find out at your end. We can't see that far. Ask some questions. Get in conversation with him. Be a bit of a detective. But please don't make us guess.
Have a good one.... (read in full...)
My insecurity will cost me this relationship
Q. I am in a relationship from past 7 months .....he is such a nice guy truely to be loved .....bt i dont knw what is wrong wid me i keep on suspecting him ...n fear to lose him ....i m madly in love with him ....he always says that i love u he has ...
A. 11 November 2016: You have to face your fear. Easy to say I know. But ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Will the world stop turning? No. Will you be unhappy for a while? Yes. Can you get through it? Yes. Will you ever find someone else? Yes - ... (read in full...)
I'm in a slump with boyfriend
Q. Hi All, Thankyou in advanced for all of your help. I have a quick question. My partner and I have been together for about a year and are set to move in together soon. I absolutely adore him and know that he feels the same about me al...
A. 9 November 2016: During this period strengthen yourself. You do this by following your own interests, or finding some new ones. You aren't just sitting by the hearth waiting for him to come home. You are living your life with your interests and your friends.
W... (read in full...)
Am I confusing love with sex?
Q. I'm in love with my best friend. We have been friends for years and have slept together on and off for a while. Am I confusing sex with love. Should I tell him?...
A. 9 November 2016: Well if you find the right moment then see if you can find a way to ask him if he would like to go to the next level - whatever that might be. ... (read in full...)
How do I know which one is right for me?
Q. My friend and I have been friends for 9 years now and we didn't start out as friends when we we're younger. He use to bully me a lot since we lived next door to each other. He is bisexual and I'm don't know if he's interested in me or maybe I'm ...
A. 8 November 2016: These two don't seem the right candidates for your heart. By all means go out and enjoy yourself with them as friends. I think Mr Right is probably still waiting to make his entrance into your life.... (read in full...)
My fiance lost his job and I'm freaking out about the money
Q. Hai.....my fiance just lost his job. We are supposed to get married next year in June or July (haven't set a date yet). I have a full time job which pays well. My fiance is in school at the same time. He is getting a university degree. The thing...
A. 8 November 2016: For better or for worse, in sickness and in health. That's how it goes - the rough with the smooth. You can get by between you if you both try.... (read in full...)
I don't want my mom to be pregnant I like being the only child!
Q. I think my mom mother is pregnant she told my we are having a baby but I thought she was joking and I'm scared to really ask her cause I don't want another child I'm the only one and I like it like that...
A. 8 November 2016: Boohoo! You are now on the verge of leaving home, or should be. This extra child isn't going to make much difference to your life unless you are a mummy's girl. In which case get over yourself and give your young sibling something to look up to; and ... (read in full...)
My inability to interact with others is making me very lonely
Q. Help please! I am very awkward around people and have trouble with keeping eye contact.i have a tendency to sweat profusely and stutter when I speak. I think I offend people when I don't look at them or say hi but really I'm just terrified of min...
A. 8 November 2016: You need to join some groups, art, theatre, a choir,night school. Also get fit. Go to the gym. Shower a lot and wear natural fibre clothing. The effect of this won't be instantaneous but over a period of time it will help.... (read in full...)
How can I ever trust my husband?
Q. Hello about 2 weeks ago I wrote about my husband going away for training and me not being able to trust him. For reasons like him texting a escort. But when he came home I felt I should let go and maybe try to trust him. But then 2 days later I ...
A. 7 November 2016: I have seen this question on here before. You know where the door is. If you want be a doormat stay and let him do whatever he likes. You will be a fool if you do.
Loving someone doesn't mean you have to take whatever they dish out. What will it t... (read in full...)
I love my stepdaughter is that normal?
Q. Is it common for stepfathers to fall in love with their stepdaughters. Should i tell her she is a grown woman, and im not with her mother anymore.Iam going absolutely insane. I love her so much.what do i do? Am i a pervert for even thinking that....
A. 7 November 2016: No-one can say who love whom or why. However I think you had best keep this as a fantasy. Don't go there. There is nothing but trouble in store if you do.... (read in full...)
I don't match his ideal. Should I worry?
Q. Hiya I've been with my boyfriend now for 4 years when we first met he told me he likes women that have long blonde hair and pale blue eyes it never bothered me when we met as I thought nothing of it but lately these last few months any blonde haired ...
A. 5 November 2016: Humour can be a good weapon sometimes. If you take the piss out of him for his busty blonde fixation in front of friends then pretty soon they will start taking the piss out of him too. They become your allies. Then it isn't just you on your own, ... (read in full...)
Should I accept the new job?
Q. Hello there, I work as a preschool teacher making 15/hr. Recently I graduated with a Bachelor's in my field of choice and began job hunting. The basic living wage (enough to afford a one bedroom) is 25/hr. But I applied for a job (working with au...
A. 4 November 2016: I think you have aswered your own question. Why would you stay? You can see colleagues for a drink out of work time.... (read in full...)
I just feel emptiness! How do I bounce back?
Q. Hello people I suffer from anxiety and OCD. In the last 2 years, I found out my girlfriend was cheating, I dropped out of college, changed 2 jobs and currently unemployed. I spend most of my time in my room. My thoughts drive me crazy. I've trie...
A. 4 November 2016: Yes, people recover from depression all the time. It may not be permanent - depression is like that. However you have to find your coping mechanisms, and you need professional help to do that.
You can't think your way out of depression. You can'... (read in full...)
My husband never agrees with me!
Q. My husband never agrees with me . I will say , you siblings dont like me and he will say yes they do or i will tell him something that has happend and he will say no they didnt but if they say something about me he will do the same thing say i didnt ...
A. 4 November 2016: Ah! You say potaito I say potato. What exactly is your question?... (read in full...)
I'm not convinced she's stopped contact with him!
Q. I had found out that my girlfriend had accepted a married man while still in love with me, I ask her but there was no proper answer from her and I told her to call the man and tell him that she is going out with me but she refused to tell him on ...
A. 3 November 2016: You have to take your girlfriend's word unless you have evidence to the contrary. If you think she is that untrustworthy then you shouldn't be together.... (read in full...)
How do I stop being obsessive about my boyfriend's ex?
Q. I hope I don't get judged too harshly for this question because it's extremely shallow and I have been through a lot worse before. But I'm struggling with extreme jealousy that I can't stop feeling. I currently work in a weird kind of job wher...
A. 1 November 2016: I think the main problem you have is with your job. Start looking for a new, more fulfilling occupation. I know that any job is better than no job but if you spend your time surfing for a better way to sell your time then you won't be obsessing over ... (read in full...)
Is he holding back because I hurt him? Or punishing me?
Q. I met an Irish guy doing the regional work in Aus and became close. While he went on a road trip for a few weeks,I met someone else,which only ended up as a fling, and had to tell him when he returned before Christmas. He was very hurt and bitter. ...
A. 1 November 2016: Softly, softly catchy monkey. You need to draw this guy in. Alcohol releases inhibitions - in vino veritas. He clearly wants more with you but doesn't have the confidence to act. Lead him to where he wants to go.... (read in full...)
Did his remark mean if I gain weight he won't be interested?
Q. Last year September my mother's sister who was very kind to everyone passed away. Her death left most of us stressed out because of that I gained a lot of weight and stopped looking after myself. I was also going through a terrible breakup with my ...
A. 1 November 2016: He is joking with you. However you owe it to yourself to look after yourself. That doesn't mean you have to be a perfect 8 - or 12, 16 or whatever. It means you have to be healthy, eat properly, take some exercise, and be happy. The last one is the ... (read in full...)
How do I become dominant for this guy?
Q. I am mid twenties and I have always shied away from topping due to problems with premature ejaculation. I have also never really felt truly comfortable with sex because I used to be very overweight and have never felt sexy. So mostly I bottom and ...
A. 29 October 2016: You are what you are. I think you should appreciate that. You need to try to find a way to make it work with your partner. if you don't then you might end up looking for someone more compatible.... (read in full...)
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