A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I think my boyfriend wants me to get pregnant , without actually saying it . This is more of a question for the guys since they may know more about how they think.First of all we haven't been dating for long but he's already talked about getting a place together which is cool I don't mind, he wants me to get my life in order so we can hustle better together , but I feel like he wants a baby . He seems to always "accidentally" cum inside me , and never wants to use a condom. He doesn't care and hasn't asked me to get on birth control . The part that throws me off more is that he is always talking about babies. Well his babies like what they will look like how they will act and how he will raise them , he is very handsome and athletic so he knows his kids will be. He will randomly grab my stomach and say something corny about having a baby, or he'll put his ear or mouth to my stomach and whisper something. I might just be paranoid but it's not the first time he's came inside me. I also said I could take a plan B pill and he said , "I wouldn't if I was you just take the risk " . Am I tripping or does he want me to get pregnant??
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): Stop bring careless and focus on your own "hustle" i.e a career/job and supporting yourself. This is not how a long term relationship should be, it should be about open communication. Get on some contraception and take control of your body
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 April 2017):
 Op honestly what are you thinking allowing him to do this? So you even want a baby? Start using protection, actually you should also get tested for stis because he may have verywell gave you one. You should always use condoms, get yourself on birth control. But honestly this is not the kind of boyfriend that you want. He doesn't care about how you feel, he is selfish and manipulative and instead off being mature and talking to you about what he wants he is trying to trick you in to having a baby. You need to take charge off your own body and mind and stick up for yourself. This man does not care about what you want. Do you really want a baby so young, with a man who doesn't care about how you feel about it and doesn't care to ask you what you want? Honestly honey run for the hills before you are trapped in a unhappy relationship with a baby on the way.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (26 March 2017):
 Either stop having sex with him or use some other form of contraception that is effective all the time and leaves control in YOUR hands (pill, coil, injection, etc).
Neither of you sound mature enough to be responsible for a child. He is just a fantasist who will probably run at the sight of a dirty nappy or baby sick, while you are content to let this guy "accidentally" get you pregnant.
Just because he is good looking does not make him good partner or father material.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2017): This is bordering on abusive. In fact there are scenarios with abusive men who can't wait to 'lock you down' and then they've got you. And I don't mean in a nice way. This could be similar to the abusive men who sweep you off your feet and talk marriage in weeks or months.None of this is good news. Please start to think about how he's behaving and what he is subjecting you to. He is trying to make a life altering event happen, not by a matter of choice, but without your input, your say so, your permission. And it's YOUR BODY!! and you seriously have no idea if this man will care or stick around. By the sound of how he has acted so far, this guy is seriously bad news and you would do yourself and your self esteem a big favour if you sent him packing. The way he is behaving SHOWS that he could not care one jot ABOUT YOU.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (25 March 2017):
 He is not mature enough to be a father if he can't even be responsible enough to use contraception.You must *not* get pregnant by him. You are very young yourself and it's highly unlikely you're financially stable enough to raise a baby between you, let alone if he is as flaky as he is behaving.You could be pregnant already! You must see a doctor, get on the pill and stop allowing him to not use condoms. Not only that, but you can't trust him to use them properly.OP, please listen to reason. It's great that you've picked up on this, but you must stop allowing it. This is such risky behaviour and it's so irresponsible.Personally, I think it's a *very* bad sign for him to be saying these things so early on. It means he has nothing against rushing things with any woman. Please be more careful.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2017):
 He wants you to get pregnant. Ask him directly, if this is what he wants, then the two of you need to have a proper chat about it, rather than "accidentally" make a baby.
Also, do YOU want a baby with someone you have not dated that long and when you are this young? It'd be a different matter if you were done with education, had a job and was mature and proper adult. Do you even have your own place, or do you still live with your parents?!
I think now is not the best time to have a baby. Also, if he's this carefree about making babies, do you really think he will stay with you for life? Sp maybe he gets you preggers, and then two months into the pregnancy he leaves and knocks up the next woman he sees.
I would have a serious conversation about this to rule out all doubts. Then, if you and him both want to have a baby, instead of having "accidents" and not using protection, start to make a proper plan for a baby instead. Save up money. Get decent jobs. Get a place to live together with room for a nursery. Maybe even get married first. Plan for when is a good time to try for a baby, maybe say you will start trying in 6 months time, or maybe i 1 years time or so.
Make it a plan, if this is what you actually both want. Don't sit around and guess what the other is thinking. Who wants to tell their child "well mommy and daddy had you just because we didn't want to use condoms" or "we didn't want to take any responsibilities, and you were the result" etc etc. Isn't it much better to make a child with someone when you have both made this decision together? Also, when you're not dependent on your parents still? I don't know many people your age in your country who are independent, in fact I know no one.
Talk to him about it, and until you and him can have an adult conversation about this, then you should not be trying to make babies. Be an adult, if you want to make adult decisions and have babies. Act like an adult. Talk about it. Make proper arrangements. Make a plan.
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A
male
reader, Faint  +, writes (25 March 2017):
Ok, that is obvious your boyfriend really like babies but I can tell your not ready for it and if that's the case u should just talk about it before any problem get between the 2 of you and your relationship.There is indeed chances to "accidentally cum inside you" accident wont be happening every time or so often as you said, this is more like "purposely cum inside you" cause once an accident happen human usually find a way to prevent it and he surely know when he is about to cum, you pretty much have the answer yourself but you just don't want to doubt humor accept the realistic answer.Before getting a baby u need to make sure if he has what it takes, I'm saying his economic state, enough time to take care the child, does he know how to? Even if he does but what about you? If your not ready or have everything ready then it wont work out.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 March 2017):
 Are you nuts OP?
TALK IS CHEAP. He can talk babies ALL he wants but that doesn't mean common sense should go out the window.
You are 18-21 - why on EARTH would you ALLOW him to try and knock you up?
You haven't been dating that long so a pregnancy is NOT something that would be SMART - you don't know yet if he would even stick it out with you if you DID get pregant.
What about STD's/STI? Have you both been tested? Why is it totally up to him to use or not use condoms?
If you were my daughter I'd try and drum some sense into you. a BABY is not what you need with a new partner. If he doesn't "like" to wear condoms then DO NOT have sex. If you can't afford to be a single mom (sounds like you still live at home) BE ON birth control and STILL use condoms.
Having a baby is not like getting a kitten or a babydoll that can poo and pee. It's FOR life. Another life that YOU will be responsible for.
Has he knocked up any other girls that you know of? Because I can tell you this, a guy who is THIS careless with his partner's LIFE and HEALTH has either done it before or will do it again and not because he wants the RESPONSIBILITY of having a child and be a great dad.
You need to talk to your mom. And you NEED to start using some common sense and birth control. UNLESS you want to be just another statistic of a young single mom struggling to raise a child she really wasn't ready for.
Plan B are for EMEMGECIES not for CARELESS acts, it's not a gumdrop, but a much larger DOSE of estrogen and progestin (or progestin only) than the average birth control pill. There are NO long-term studies showing what effect taking plan B over and over can affect your productive system. And IF you have a partner who is SO careless about YOUR health that he doesn't CARE if you get pregnant or NEED to take a Plan B to NOT get pregnant then what?
THIS IS YOUR body and YOUR life.
Do YOU want a baby you can't afford? With a guy, you haven't even dated long and there is NO indication that he is in it for the long haul.
Come on OP - THINK. BE smart.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (25 March 2017):
 Run,
He is trying to make this decision for you by default. If he wants a baby now, he needs to find a partner who shares that desire and who is ready for it.
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