| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Should I tell my daughter about her biological father?
Q. This is a family question, my daughter doesn't know who her biological father is but from the time she was a baby my boy friend has been her dad and plans on adopting her. She knows that he's not her bio dad. Her bio dad had his rights terminated, ...
A. 15 November 2017: I don't think she will care. You can tell her who he is, but she will probably not feel a need to ever "get to know" her bio dad. She already has a father, your boyfriend. You don't miss what you don't have, and you surely never miss having a toxic ... (read in full...)
How much does having a girlfriend actually cost?
Q. So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...
A. 14 November 2017: I hate these kind of questions. Women aren't objects for sale. We don't cost money. Get over that idea. We are human beings. Ask yourself how much it "costs" to have a friend. It's the same price. You put in time and effort, that's what the "cost" ... (read in full...)
How much does having a girlfriend actually cost?
Q. So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...
A. 14 November 2017: I hate these kind of questions. Women aren't objects for sale. We don't cost money. Get over that idea. We are human beings. Ask yourself how much it "costs" to have a friend. It's the same price. You put in time and effort, that's what the "cost" ... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating doesn't believe I have social anxiety, does it matter?
Q. I've been on a few dates with this guy. I feel a bit of a spark but I am worried about something he said to me. Part of me feels that if I liked him enough to date him I won't worry about what he said. I told him that I suffer from social anxi...
A. 10 November 2017: Do you have a diagnosis? And he dismissed it? In that case, boot him. Do you not have a diagnosis, and have just diagnosed yourself? If so, keep the guy and go see your doctor for correct diagnosis. ... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with my boyfriend! How much longer do I give him and how far does “for better or worse” really go?
Q. I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years, engaged for 6. I’m at the end of my rope and I know what I need to do but lack the ability to do it. I’m 28, a recent college grad, and have a job working at a hospital which supports me completely. He’s 34, ...
A. 10 November 2017: This is long overdue. Kick him out and break it off. He is not a man, but a child. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that I am pregnant with his child?
Q. Hello. I don't know how to say this but I recently found out that I am pregnant with my ex's child. He is 34 and I am 21 turning 22 January. While we were dating he told me he doesn't mind having kids. We dated for 6 months until we started arguing ...
A. 9 November 2017: I think you should tell him. So that he knows. So that he might learn from this as well, same as you have to learn to be more careful.
But even if you tell him, that doesn't mean you should return to a relationship with him. It sounds like for... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend makes more money than I do. I'm worried that I'm not contributing enough
Q. I'm dating a man much older than me. He earns a lot more than I do and is very generous so is always the one spending when we are together. Apart from the spending he tends to plan our dates (which I like because he has so many great ideas and he ...
A. 8 November 2017: How much older is "older"? If he's a couple of generations above you, then my guess is he likes that you don't contribute equally to him. Many men of the older generations were brought up to think the man should make the money, and the womans job is ... (read in full...)
My husband really wants a dog and I couldn’t think of anything worse!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 1 year and dating for 2 years before that. He really wants a dog and I really don't want one. (Both of us don't want kids). 3 years ago, when we met and began dating, he had just moved from another state an...
A. 8 November 2017: He asks you to pet the rabbit when he is away, and you laugh and say that you don't? You agreed to the rabbit, but wont even cuddle it while he is away? Something about that just comes off as very cold to me.
But hey, what can I say, I'm an anima... (read in full...)
My husband really wants a dog and I couldn’t think of anything worse!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 1 year and dating for 2 years before that. He really wants a dog and I really don't want one. (Both of us don't want kids). 3 years ago, when we met and began dating, he had just moved from another state an...
A. 8 November 2017: He asks you to pet the rabbit when he is away, and you laugh and say that you don't? You agreed to the rabbit, but wont even cuddle it while he is away? Something about that just comes off as very cold to me.
But hey, what can I say, I'm an anima... (read in full...)
I'm (21M) receiving ridiculously mixed signals from my best friend (18F)
Q. I met this girl during the summer when she was single and 2 months fresh after her breakup with her 3-year relationship and after two months of just getting to know her, I confessed how I felt but at the time she rejected me because she wasn't ...
A. 8 November 2017: Ah, the clue here is that you are long distance. You're her guilty pleasure, her dirty little secret on the side that no one else knows about.
If you were friends in real life and NOT long distance/internet, it'd be a very different story. I... (read in full...)
What is so "personal" that he can't tell his long term girlfriend?
Q. Hi! I've been seeing my bf for about 15 months and things have been mostly good. We have a very loving, affectionate relationship where we share most things and get on well. Except he has this female best friend that he's close to and the thing is I ...
A. 7 November 2017: This is not a black and white issue. I know of couples who share everything, and when you tell the one party you can't expect it to stay between the two of you, because they always tell the other everything. Most such couples give you a heads up ... (read in full...)
I am male and I have no sensational feeling during sex
Q. Hi, I have a very big problem - I do not feel anything during intercourse! Please help me! I am 35 years old and i have had this problem since my sexual debut. And the problem is really simple, yet very complex - I do not feel anything! When I...
A. 7 November 2017: I don't follow links from this page, so I will just ask a question here instead. How does it compare to when you receive oral? Do you also feel nothing? And are you able to orgasm?
I don't think there is anything wrong with you, just that you... (read in full...)
I love my long term partner but feel a spark for a coworker!
Q. Hi, i'm in a situation i never thought i'd be and i need advice, because i can't talk about it with anyone..I'm in a longterm relationship (7 years). I love my partner, although i can't deny that our relationship is much of a rutine now. We live ...
A. 3 November 2017: "To be honest, i feel like he's my last chance to have good sex ever again."
Look, in 7 years your sex life with this new guy would be even worse than the sex in your current relationship. A relationship with this new guy wouldn't ever actually... (read in full...)
A coworker eats smelly food right next to me!
Q. Hi everyone, this might sound like a trivial problem but it’s really bothering me. I recently started a new job and the man that sits next to me is a bodybuilder and as such eats an entire tub of cottage cheese at his desk every day at 9am. I think ...
A. 3 November 2017: Air freshener will definitely do the trick. The kind you usually have in the bathroom. Once our dog was feeling unwell and had diarrhea all over our living room. The smell was unbearable even after we cleaned it up. We had to leave the room for ... (read in full...)
I hate the person who I used to love for his std and promiscuity
Q. I'm in love with my partner , we've been together for a year and a half, we've been through so much, specially at the beginning. The truth is, even though I thought I knew him ( we were friends for years before falling in love ) the fact is I did ...
A. 2 November 2017: I think you are in pain, and it'd because of this man. His past is NOT in the past, as he has herpes. And he lied about it to you, which again brings up how this is not in the past, this is him right here and now. This is the present. He puts your ... (read in full...)
How do I tell guys I'm autisttic?
Q. i will jump straight in. I am autistic which is great, use to as a child find it a curse but as an adult truly get to see the beauty of the world. what i mean by this is i could be walking in the forest and i could stop and hug a tree or even lic...
A. 2 November 2017: You can bring it up during the first date. That way they didn't ask you out because of/despite of it, and that way they will not feel duped either. This is no different from all other things we share about ourselves while dating. If you have a kid, ... (read in full...)
A coworker eats smelly food right next to me!
Q. Hi everyone, this might sound like a trivial problem but it’s really bothering me. I recently started a new job and the man that sits next to me is a bodybuilder and as such eats an entire tub of cottage cheese at his desk every day at 9am. I think ...
A. 2 November 2017: Ask him if he wouldn't mind not eating at his desk as it distracts you from your work? Or find another option for where you sit during this time period. Eating at his desk though, really. Don't you have a room to eat your food at? It's unhygienic ... (read in full...)
How do men deal with the hair 'down there'?
Q. This question is really difficult to ask people in real life so here goes. Ladies, what's your opinion on pubic hair on your men? Shaved, trimmed or untouched? And men, if you're shaving down there, how do you handle the testicular area? ...
A. 2 November 2017: I like guys to have hair down there, but it can be trimmed and not growing wild in a large bush. When men shave it just reminds me of porn movies and when it grow back out it is uncomfortable, especially if they shave the sack and then during sex, ... (read in full...)
Is this the wrong time to have a baby?
Q. Hello,n I'm currently living with my parents as I've just graduated and it's quite crowded, I've also just found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend lives 100 miles away but has said if I choose to keep it he will move down and get a part time job al...
A. 27 October 2017: Without knowing any more than what you write, if I was in your shoes, I probably would have kept the child, but ditched the boyfriend. He's not being very supportive you say, and what does he mean "part time job"? Does he mean he does not want to ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong if I want to be a housewife and not work for a living?
Q. Hi , is it wrong to wants to be housewife? I want to get marry and want to have kids. I don’t think I will be able to work. Since, I am taking care of my elderly mom and I am going to have kids as well. I want to be housewife. Is it wrong to think ...
A. 27 October 2017: I think it's wrong to want to be a housewife. In this day and age, where you have the opportunity to be a free human being, why would anyone want to enter a cage?
I don't think you actually want to be a housewife, with all that it implies ... (read in full...)
Do I need to' know' he is the one?
Q. I’m 29. My parter is 10 years older. We’ve been together 5 years. I love him; he loves me and everything is great. I just want to know what people think of soul mates? Or when people say ‘when you know, you know’ i guess i just know that our re...
A. 25 October 2017: I think it comes down to your personality and need for passion and a sense of belonging. I know of people who marry just for the reasons you say: been together so and so many years, it was the "next step" and everyone expects it, you're getting ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was kissed by a gay guy and now he wonders if he is bi?
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months just told me he was kissed by a gay guy at a party I wasn't able to attend, and also told me he thinks he might be bi now. I'm just wondering if other people consider this cheating. I'm pretty uncomfortable with the whole ...
A. 25 October 2017: Yes, kissing other people is cheating, regardless of the gender of the person you kissed. In this case though, I would tell him that kissing others is not okay so if he wants to be with you he's not allowed to do that again.
But if he chooses ... (read in full...)
He's changed how the trip expenses will be split!
Q. So, I'm in a relatively new relationship.....we met in June but things have gotten more serious in the past 2 months where we now are exclusive......he's been talking about an event he wants to attend in the big apple in december and so we've been ...
A. 24 October 2017: I'm sorry, but Im not at all used to a man paying for everything while the girl gets treated like some paid for plaything. If a man was paying for everything for me, I'd feel like I was an item to be bought. To be equal in a relationship is ... (read in full...)
He is not being supportive and I am literally broken because of what is happening!
Q. Hi, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 6 months and a few days ago I found out I was pregnant. We both currently live 100 miles apart and only get to see each other once a week. We decided an abortion was the best option for us as it wou...
A. 23 October 2017: You're not being too sensitive, this guy sounds like a dick. Has he always been this way? Has he always put football above you or placed you last on his list of priorities?
It's the challenges in a relationship that really shows the characte... (read in full...)
Can I ask him to let me touch myself?
Q. I want to masturbate in front of my husband but I'm not sure how to go about it. Do I talk about it and just straight out ask him if he wants to watch or should I slip into something sexy just be waiting for him when he enters the bedroom and ask ...
A. 23 October 2017: I don't think you need to plan this. When you're in bed and if you feel like touching yourself, just go for it. Further explanation is not needed, in my opinion. Just start doing it. Why would you need to ask him or make a big deal out of it? ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation gay?
Q. If you are not thinking of anything and just masturbating for pleasure is this homosexual?...
A. 19 October 2017: No.... (read in full...)
Does this age gap between us matter?
Q. I am 27years old and the love of my life d one I wanted to marry is 37years old by age.we both love each other so dearly and he is a man every woman would wanted as a husband because he has d attribute he is loving,caring,calm,hard work and lastly ...
A. 13 October 2017: It's not too much of an age gap. Go marry him :)... (read in full...)
Should I let my wife have a young lover since I can't perform as I once did?
Q. My wife (aged 55)and very attractive, and I have been married for 24 years and over the last 3 years I (aged 57) have had trouble maintaining an erection during sex, I have tried all the usual medications but I get side effects from them, so I have ...
A. 13 October 2017: Hey, if you don't mind and you think it's a good idea, then sure why not. But I take it you do mind, and you don't want this, which is why you're coming on here for advice. So that's what I will base my advice on.
No. Don't let her take a younger ... (read in full...)
It was going great and now she has stopped responding ... I guess its over!
Q. Hello everyone! A few months ago I started exchanging Facebook messages with a girl I knew in high school about ten years ago. I'm 30 and she's 29. Things went really well and she agreed to meet up as soon as we could (she was moving back to h...
A. 13 October 2017: I agree with Honeypie. She got the message, and so did her boyfriend. Yes, there probably is a boyfriend. Don't make the mistake of thinking all women are innocent and only live to dote on their boyfriends. There are a good bunch of female players ... (read in full...)
I can't wait to get married - but family issues putting a dampener on it.
Q. Hi, I'm looking for some advice. My fiancé and I are engaged and are soon to start planning our wedding. I have an extremely difficult mother, and because of that she has pretty much damaged all family ties I have with aunts/uncles/cousins. ...
A. 11 October 2017: Yes, I've had the exact same dilemma. It's been sort of resolved now, because I went to the police and reported my father, so that's now all out in the "open" and a burnt bridge. I was heavily set on the eloping-idea too. I still am, because even if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is afraid of my beauty and that I will leave him!
Q. My boyfriend said he's scared of my beauty and is afraid I will leave him.what do I do to prove I won't and he doesn't take me out, prefers me staying indoor with him is dat y?. And I love this guy so much and it hurts me anytime he saids dat..pls...
A. 8 October 2017: He's not well in his mind, Im afraid. He tells you these things because he is insecure, and there is nothing at all you can do to fix it. There will never be anything you can do to help him understand, to help him trust you, or to make him feel ... (read in full...)
I need advice on a difficult stepchild!
Q. Hi all, I could really do with some advice on a difficult stepchild. I've been with my partner 2 years and I'm pregnant with my first. He has a 5 year old son from a previous relationship. At the beginning of the relationship he had great time for ...
A. 8 October 2017: Well, if it was me, I'd start raising this little brat. You're a parent to him as well. Don't let him dictate who he listens to or not. He's the child, you're the adult, and you are in charge of him just like his parents are. There's no such things ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is blaming herself for an early miscarriage.
Q. Dear Cupid, The other day my girlfriend had a few drinks and on the way home started going on about how she thinks she's pregnant. She hadn't done a test and was purely going off her breasts being tender and feeling "weird" plus she rambles when she...
A. 7 October 2017: The drinks didn't cause the miscarriage. Miscarriages are, sadly, very common. Roughly half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, although some are so early the pregnancy wasn't detected, and the bleeding mistaken for the regular period bleeding. ... (read in full...)
Is the guy I'm dating being a jerk?
Q. I started dating this guy about a month ago and we've been on four dates so far.. We haven't gone all the way yet but have done some stuff in bed, as well as the usual things like cinema etc. TBF to him he does have his good points like he pays for ...
A. 24 September 2017: Sounds like a jerk. ... (read in full...)
How can I last longer the first time?
Q. I just got into a relationship, its been quite a few months in. We are about to hit 3rd base and this is my first time someone will give me a handjob or even a blowjob. I don't think I can last for more than 30 seconds. Any tips on how to last ...
A. 24 September 2017: *compliment to her, autospell...
PS do her a favour and dont masturbate before you meet her. Because then you will either take too long time or not come at all, which will just make her think you dont enjoy it/dont find her attractive. ... (read in full...)
How can I last longer the first time?
Q. I just got into a relationship, its been quite a few months in. We are about to hit 3rd base and this is my first time someone will give me a handjob or even a blowjob. I don't think I can last for more than 30 seconds. Any tips on how to last ...
A. 24 September 2017: Yeah, dont bother trying to last long. Trust me. Its a commitment to her if its so good you can not last long. Also, if you last long she might be sore /tired. It is best for her that you are quick to finish, honestly. Especially when it comes to ... (read in full...)
I didn't bleed so is my hymen still intact after having sex lots of times?
Q. hello, well my problem is i had sexual intercourse several times but i did not bleed in any of them, so i'm wondering is it possible that my hymen is still intact??...
A. 22 September 2017: *bleeding because of friction. Pardon my autospell. ... (read in full...)
I didn't bleed so is my hymen still intact after having sex lots of times?
Q. hello, well my problem is i had sexual intercourse several times but i did not bleed in any of them, so i'm wondering is it possible that my hymen is still intact??...
A. 22 September 2017: Hymen is fictional. It doesnt exist. You didnt bleed because you were comfortable and lubricated and has sex the right way. Those who bleed do so because of fiction and getting scratched /ripped.
If there was such a thing as a "hymen", how woul... (read in full...)
Are we sexually incompatible? I need help!
Q. my fiancé and I have been together for a year and a half and we have been struggling sexually. when we first got together he told me he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex I was perfectly Fine with that as we both were practicing christianity ...
A. 21 September 2017: I think he need to talk to a psychologist / therapist. Sounds like he is hardwired to think of sex as sinful, and that's why his body reacts the way it does. He said he wanted to wait until marriage, so perhaps you should wait. But there is no ... (read in full...)
Is this something I can fix by correcting a few actions in our relationship? Do I give her space and trust that she will end up with me? What do I do?
Q. My gf of 1.5 years recently told me that she likes a guy from work as as more than friends but is unsure about what to do. She said she loves me and she doesn't love him because it is too early to tell. She said she recognizes that it is unfair to ...
A. 21 September 2017: Break up with her. She is not committed to you. Being in a relationship is more than just not kissing/having sex with others. Its about commitment and working towards building up your relationship and making it strenger. She, on the other hand, is ... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain why I have this dream?
Q. I am a mid 20s female and I'm trying to find out the meaning to a dream I have had twice. In my dreams I'm myself and I'm making out with a female (not the same person both times) I know but aren't close with in my wake life. Then the making out ...
A. 4 September 2017: The dream means you are exploring different sides of your femininity. You kiss different women in a search for different feminine expressions. A kiss in a dream often symbolizes unity, or closeness and family, and is not sexual. You kiss because you ... (read in full...)
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