A
male
age
30-35,
*racle101x
writes:Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too. But, she did have a problem with it. She told me not to visit that site anymore. So, I asked her if she can have access to that site then why can't I? Her response was that she goes on that site to make money. Its her job. But, I go on that site to have a fling with the girls so technically I'm cheating on her. That's her argument. She also says she doesn't want me wasting money on that site. Its my money so I can spend it wherever I want. She is being a hypocrite. This is totally unfair.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2017):
 This is totally unfair? What are you a child? Honestly it sounds like you are spitting out your dummy and taking a tantrum. She does this as a living. You knew that but you still decided to be with her. That does not mean you get a free pass to view other girls and get pleasure from them. If she is not comfortable with that then I don't blame her, if that is what you want to do with your money then end things with her then you can view as many off these sites as you want.
Its my money I can spend it how I like, sounds like something a person who is throwing a tantrum and not ready for a relationship would say. Honestly are you sure you want to be in a committed relationship? Do you know what it means to stay faithful?
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (25 April 2017):
 If her issue is you being intimate with other women then yes, she is being SOMEWHAT hypocritical. Regardless of the motives, you're both engaged in, or trying to engage in, activities you normally reserve for each other.
If her issue is that particular site, then I can understand her position. She doesn't want you to watch her 'at work'. To put it crudely, it's like shitting where you eat. If she's fine with you subscribing to another site then she is not being a hypocrite.
Back to SOMEWHAT hypocritical, her terms were laid out for you from the start. You had the option to accept, decline or try to negotiate different terms. You choose to accept the terms as is. Now, after she's made an investment you want to change the terms, not for the benefit of the relationship but for your own immediate gratification. It can be argued that the money she earns benefits both of you, while your orgasm with another woman only benefits you.
So, in short, you have a point, but so does she. If you cannot negotiate new terms then you have to choose to maintain or end the current status quo.
...............................
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (25 April 2017):
Yes she's being a hypocrite. But so what? If you want this relationship to work you have to pick your battles and this isn't one you need to fight. Give her what she wants on this. If you want to watch cam girls go to another site and watch one there.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2017): What are you doing at that site ? Are you there for a livihood. It's only because you are getting sexual gratification from other women . By rights she is now allowed to seek sexual gratification from other men . To find men purely to pleasure her just like you are doing . That's fair !
This has nothing to do with her job , you knew what she did . Personally
If I were her I would have left you already
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2017): What are you doing at that site ? Are you there for a livihood. It's only because you are getting sexual gratification from other women . By rights she is now allowed to seek sexual gratification from other men . To find men purely to pleasure her just like you are doing . That's fair !
This has nothing to do with her job , you knew what she did . Personally
If I were her I would have left you already
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 April 2017):
 Unfair? Hahaha, oh my, what are we, 5? A relationship isn't about throwing a tantrum and arguing about what's fair, as if you were arguing about candy on a Friday when mom tells you only Saturdays....
Listen, relationship is about respect. You were OK with her working as a cam girl. You knew that before you started to date her. She did NOT sign up for having a cheater boyfriend who pays money on OTHER cam girls. She is telling you there is a thin red line here, and you're crossing it. Your response should be to respect that line and back off. If you want a relationship, that is.
It's not the same. You cheating on her or visiting that web site for fun and pleasure while she works there are two very different things. One, she doesn't pay guys to watch her. Two, she makes a living off it. Three, you knew about it up front and accepted that from the start. Four, she's not on there to flirt and get any sexual pleasure out of it for herself... You are.
If you started to work as a cam guy, on the other hand, now THAT would be the same. She's not being a hypocrite, and you are being childish.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (24 April 2017):
 I'm with honeypie. You knew she did this to earn her money, she isn't going on this site to watch guys jerking off, she's putting on a show to get paid.
You're going online to look at other naked females. It's really not the same thing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 April 2017):
 I honestly can see her point. She IS there to work. While it might seem like "play" to you, it all about pretends and faking in front of a camera.
Do you want to go there to play around with other women? Or pay to play with her online?
Either you RESPECT her and what she does or you don't. Your actions say you don't really give a flying fart about her that you can do whatever...
Because SHE talks to/cam with others (as a job) you can do it too? HOW is that logical?
You sound like you are dating her to access women online, not because you care about her. It's ALL about you.
Grow up. Either you can handle what she does or you can't.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 April 2017):
 If you are serious about her then offer to support her so she doesn't have to do sex on cam anymore. Is she a hypocrite? Well yes and no. It could be hard for her to perform if she thinks there is someone who knows her closely watching. The cam girl is an actress. Will you be able to tell the difference between your girlfriend and her acting?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2017): No, she is not being unfair.
She earns a living doing this. She is right. It is HER JOB.
You, on the other hand, have NO BUSINESS being on the site. You are not being paid to be on the site. You are PAYING to register on the site. Two different things.
Also, two different motivations.
She is on for work. You are on for recreation, amusement and pure pleasure.
OR... to keep tabs on your girlfriend?
WHY would you need to be on such a site when you already HAVE a GIRLFRIEND?
I can certainly see HER concerns.
Deep down, you do have a problem with her JOB. Are you trying to get back at her by ogling other women on the site to make her jealous because you do have a problem with her performing for other men for money?
What is YOUR true motivation for wanting to go on the site OP?
Can you answer that question honestly?
Does your girlfriend have reason to be concerned about your behaviour?
She is just standing her ground. I don't blame her one bit.
...............................
|
