Like what
he writes?
... Add *. Grant to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
|
How important is the first love to a man when it is years over?
Q. To men,how important is the first love to a man when it is years over? Does your first love still have a special place in your heart? If you have dated her for 4-5 years,do you still think of her at some point in your life even if you have a new ...
A. 11 March 2011: Do I miss her? No. In hindsight it took me a ridiculously long time (two years? Three?) to stop missing her.
If I got an email from her would I reply? I doubt it. I miss the times, the feeling of new love, and obviously have some fond memories... (read in full...)
How important is the first love to a man when it is years over?
Q. To men,how important is the first love to a man when it is years over? Does your first love still have a special place in your heart? If you have dated her for 4-5 years,do you still think of her at some point in your life even if you have a new ...
A. 8 March 2011: Funny, "our song" came up on the radio this morning. Hadn't heard it for years. I immediately was taken back to dancing in her living room. Love ya, Nancy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_96uyfmqgo... (read in full...)
Lump under my arm sent away for tests and I'm afraid its cancer
Q. i have an lump under my armpit ! its the size of a pea !! some people told me its just a sweat gland since the weather is changin and i sweat a lot! the thing is . its not painful so i guess its not something serious , i went to see a doctor and he ...
A. 5 March 2011: It's probably not serious. But if in the unlikely even that it is cancer, the faster you deal with it the better. Go get that biopsy done ASAP.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's father dying from stomach cancer..he suddenly broke up with me, never calls
Q. I don't know what to do. last year late october, my boyfriend of 3.5 years Father was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Initially his Father had gone to the hospital with symptoms which turned out to be a mild heart attack..after testing, the cancer ...
A. 5 March 2011: I was in my early 30s when my father was diagnosed with the same illness. I don't think anything in my life has ever messed me up as much as that did. I spent four months watching my best friend dying, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and a senior in high school. I got pregnant and my parents will kick me out if I don't have an abortion. Help!
Q. Hello my name is Jane and I am 18 years old. My parents are from Nigeria and I was born and raised here in Alabama. I am 17 weeks pregnant and my parents want me to get an abortion. I don’t want one, so they are going to kick me out next ...
A. 5 March 2011: I spent a bit of time looking for services in Alabama directed at teen mothers and didn't find much. If you are considering adoption, you might contact: Lifeline Village Maternity Home 205-967-0811 Birmingham 1-800-875-5595 ... (read in full...)
How important is the first love to a man when it is years over?
Q. To men,how important is the first love to a man when it is years over? Does your first love still have a special place in your heart? If you have dated her for 4-5 years,do you still think of her at some point in your life even if you have a new ...
A. 5 March 2011: Oh no, haven't had any contact with her since maybe 1983. Waay too much water under the bridge for that. I *remember* her well. That's not the same thing as *pining* for her. I did that for long enough after we broke up. I'm such a different... (read in full...)
How important is the first love to a man when it is years over?
Q. To men,how important is the first love to a man when it is years over? Does your first love still have a special place in your heart? If you have dated her for 4-5 years,do you still think of her at some point in your life even if you have a new ...
A. 5 March 2011: It's been a little over 30 years, and I remember her well.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells me he would be happy with or without me! We're supposed to marry next year. What should I do?
Q. Please give me advice! My boyfriend who wants to marry me next year is telling me he is happy with me or without me. Why would he say something like that? Is it because he doesn't love me? I can't get the answer. Please you might have good answer ...
A. 4 March 2011: Well you should get the answer from him - an answer that sets all your questions to rest.
He might, I suppose, be saying that he's a happy person in and of himself, who doesn't depend on anything outside of himself for happiness. Some sort of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have been offered to join another couple for a foursome. I want to do it, but I don't want to ruin my relationship. Help!
Q. One of my biggest fantasies is a foursome and recently some friends of my fiances saw my photo on his phone and basically asked straight out if we would consider doing a foursome as they love those kinds of things. The moment he came home he told me ...
A. 4 March 2011: Let's just be clear here. Your boyfriend simply isn't there. It's not on for him, period, full stop. You can fantacize all you want, get off to the fantasy all you want. But he isn't into it, and to push the idea into reality is for him as he is ... (read in full...)
Should I say something about the picture?
Q. I've being texting this guy for the last couple of weeks, he then just sent me a pic of himself... well his penis. It came just out of the blue. I felt totally creeped out by it. I have never met him either. We arranged to meet up the other day and ...
A. 2 March 2011: I suppose it's possible that he's actually thick enough to not get it, so it would be a politeness to tell him why you no longer care to meet him. But you're not obligated. Personally if you chose to never have any contact with him again I'd think ... (read in full...)
I'm worried this may be termed as incest???
Q. Ok so, I'm 22 years old and living in Canada. My dad's uncle George (my great uncle) has lived in the US for like 20 years. When he moved to the US he married an American woman named Kate (my great-aunt by marriage I guess?). Kate has a sister, ...
A. 2 March 2011: Your grandfather's brother married a woman who had a sister who had a son. Getting a little distant here, aren't we? The concern with incest is that too-close a blood relationship can result in reinforcement of bad genes which can have unfortu... (read in full...)
Thinking about the future -- would it be safe for third-cousins to have children together?
Q. I'm 17 years old, and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and we love each other very much. But recently we found out we are third cousins and we are both thinking about the future. Is it safe for us to have children together? ...
A. 1 March 2011: If you are third cousins, that means that the blood tie comes from a great-great grandparent. That's so distant a relation that the chance of a bad genetic reinforcement is scarcely higher than for someone you're not related to.... (read in full...)
My friend told me all men are really gay!
Q. Are all men GAY??? A guy who once had sex with another guy said to me that all men are gay, and that they just wont admit it, that they don't actually want women they just want to get off or have babies? He said stuff like they think the vagina...
A. 27 February 2011: CindyCares is right. You were being fed a line.
Ya, some guys are in to guys. Most guys are in to girls. So most guys, getting a glimpse of a naked girl, are very, very happy about it. And want more. The only thing you need to worry about is... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 27 February 2011: Thank you for that follow up post. This probably isn't what I should be saying, but wow. What you've said is absolutely the most amazing, the most wonderful thing that a parent could ever hope to hear. That you are so focussed on what is right ... (read in full...)
I'm depressed so often, and am so scared of my loved ones dying before I do. How can I help myself to move past this?
Q. Hello, I'm a 15 year old girl and recently I have been concearning myself about the deppressing thoughts I have been having. I keep thinking about death and how there's nothing I can do to prevent it from happening to me or my family, I'm scar...
A. 27 February 2011: Hon, what you're feeling is part of being human, it happens to all of us. No one knows what the future will bring. But we learn that, usually, the worst doesn't happen. And as we live and learn, we become able to cope when bad things do happen.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriends is taking care of his dieing father - being long distance I feel helpless and don't know how to help.
Q. My boyfriend (let's call him M) and I have been together for five years. We have had obstacles in this time (grad school, debt, moving) that we have overcome together, and have been better for it. However, we are now in the midst of an awful time, ...
A. 27 February 2011: It's wonderful that you're asking what to do. It certainly speaks to how much you care for your boyfriend.
I don't know if this suggestion is in any way practical, but you might think of relocating to where he and his father are, renting a place,... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 26 February 2011: I think Chigirl summed it up very well. You're 17; not having sex at that age is a very responsible decision.
That you masturbate may well have been news to him -- girls are mysterious, and the impression lingers that they're not as interest... (read in full...)
We're in financial trouble and have been offered money for sex, should we do it?
Q. I am currently engaged and still studying, which means I don’t have much time to work. Money for us is quite tight between paying for our house and other expenses. My fiance had lunch with a man who we have known for a little while and brought ...
A. 25 February 2011: I'm sure the financial pressures you two are facing are oppressive. You're not the first couple to be in that situation, being in school and having bills to pay.
You've been offered what's presented as a financial opportunity. They're telling ... (read in full...)
Should I stop this friendship or try dragging along longer and see if it gets better
Q. This isn’t a relationship as much as something I’m having problems with my best friend who’s a girl. Basically were really good friends. Hers the problem she seems to have completely changed in the course if 1 day and stayed that way for a month ...
A. 24 February 2011: There could be lots of things going on -- it might just be adolescent hormones.
There's also a possibility that it's something more serious. A change that sudden and that drastic? She could have had something traumatic happen to her. It would... (read in full...)
Does the wife have someone else?
Q. A guy I know talked to me the other day about his relashonship. He said that his wife hasn't slept in the same bed with for six months. He said he hsan't had sex for 2 months. They can't talk to each other. My girlfriend says she thinks that his ...
A. 22 February 2011: There's no way you can diagnose a marriage from a distance. The seperate beds might be because he snores, because she lets the kids sleep with her, or because the dog takes up his space. Same for lack of sex. Keep your nose out of it.... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my mother about going on birth control pills. How do I ask her?
Q. I'll be turning 17 in just over a month, and I've stayed a virgin for the fact that I'm waiting for the right guy. The older I get, the more difficult I find it to keep my virginity. So, I'd much rather be safe than sorry if anything were to end up ...
A. 22 February 2011: I'm sorry you feel like your mother isn't approachable on this and has preconceptions. You sound very responsible.
A couple of thoughts. You could show your mother this post as a starter for a genuine conversation.
You haven't mentione... (read in full...)
Getting over forbidden fantasies?
Q. I am married. My relationship with my husband is comfortable. Almost too comfortable. We only have sexual contact a couple times a year. We never fight about anything and have a very strong platonic relationship. People who don't know us think ...
A. 22 February 2011: Hmm. Your husband thinks you're "not a sexual creature" but you're having fantasies about someone else. Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds like you're the "sexual creature" and your husband isn't? If that's right, then don't let your ... (read in full...)
Decided to have sex with a friend, but kinda want to wait for the other guy
Q. Me and my best guy friend decided to have sex. He's been kind of hinting at it for a while, and for a while I thought he was starting to like me. I've liked someone else for 3 years and still like him, so I wasn't interested. but 2 nights ago we ...
A. 22 February 2011: Why would you want to have sex with someone you only "kind of" like? Even moreso, if I'm reading this right, lose your virginity to him? Like there's some problem taking your virginity to college?
Please give your head a shake here. Just bec... (read in full...)
She's not a virgin but doesn't want to have sex with me!
Q. Hello everyone, thanks for taking the time to read my question. Anyhow so I currently have a girlfriend. She is not a virgin; I am. We have been dating for 8 months now and I want to have sex but she keeps telling me she wants to wait until ...
A. 20 February 2011: Whoa, so she had sex with someone so you're entitled to have sex with her? I think you're missing the point here big time.
Whatever her past, she is who she is *today*. Her past may tell her that what she did wasn't right for her. The relation... (read in full...)
In love with a married man...what do I do?
Q. dear cupid, I been searching a sites that can answer my problem, i know that is common problem but i dont know yet the answers. i been falling inlove with a man that is married. we been dating and no commitment for this situation. Why he dont tell...
A. 20 February 2011: He is married. That means he made a committment to his wife which, among other things, included "foresaking all others". In other words, he vowed before God that he wouldn't have anything to do with you.
Move on, find someone who isn't ma... (read in full...)
Is it good to stop masterbating?
Q. i used to watch porn to make myself feel a bit better but now i have stopped because it always made me feel guilty, also i feel it ruins sex experience. is it good for me to stop masterbating? ...
A. 20 February 2011: There's a difference between porn and masturbation.
Masturbation is a perfectly reasonable thing for adolescent males to do. It's normal, it's healthy, it's been part of growing up forever.
Porn is something relatively new, in the context o... (read in full...)
I told my boyfriend I don't really enjoy sex, and he's taken it personally, as if he was bad in bed! What do I do now?
Q. Hey all. So I'm 17 and I'm sexually active (about 7 months now). And honestly, I'm not a fan. My boyfriend is the only person I've ever had sex with. (We've been together since we were 15.) To be honest, sex was never really and interest of mine...
A. 19 February 2011: I'm sure you didn't want to start playing "20 questions", but ...
Do you think of yourself as a sexual person? Have you spent time exploring yourself? Do you know what works for you and what doesn't? If the answer is yes, if you can give you... (read in full...)
Is it normal to think about cheating if you've only been married for 2 months. I'm in a sexless marriage!
Q. Hi everyone, I was just wondering whether it's normal to think about cheating if you have only been married 2 months and already sex is out of the question. Tried talking about it, but personal issues on my partner's side mean we don't. I have ...
A. 16 February 2011: OK, together for six years -- was there sex during the dating relationship? If so, was it satisfactory for either or both?
"Personal issues" -- is that abuse?
Is there a cultural issue -- the flag says UK, but are either of you from another... (read in full...)
My meds helped make this relationship possilble, but they're also getting in the way of me being all she needs me to be
Q. First of all, I have to give some background information on myself. I am 44 years old and have had mental problems all my life. My father was an extremely abusive person and I grew up either being beaten, or watching him beat my mother. I develo...
A. 14 February 2011: I applaud you for all the work you've done to change things in your life and behaviour. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to get to where you are today. The gal you're married to sounds like she has a heart of gold.
The big plus... (read in full...)
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Q. Why cant I get a girlfriend? Everyone tells me to be myself and it never works. Whats wrong with me?...
A. 13 February 2011: Hey bud, there's nothing wrong with you. The problem is that the popular girls aren't looking for good guys just yet. They're looking at superficial stuff, and they're going to have to go through a whole bunch of disappointment and heartache ... (read in full...)
Does having a baby really hurt ?
Q. I heard having a baby really hurts . I'm excited about having my baby buy I'm scared too I'm afraid to push the baby out I don't enjoy pain very much and I'm also worried my boyfriend won't be there because he goes to work during the day and comes ...
A. 13 February 2011: Do the pre-natal care program in the hospital in which you expect to deliver. Discuss with them what options are available for pain control. If you're wanting to do "natural" child birth, that means no meds. If you're wanting something different, ... (read in full...)
After having led me on with the promise of a life together, he suddenly decides to bail out. Should I tell his wife about the whole sham?
Q. Where to start. I fell in love with a married man. He told me that he was on his way out of his marriage. He gave me horror stories about his wife. 8, 9, 10 months go by and he and I are more in love than I've ever been with anyone and I'm not ...
A. 13 February 2011: Think on this for six months. You say, now, while you're (understandably) hurting that it's not out of revenge. Fair enough. Give yourself some time to heal. In six months you'll know better if it's revenge or some better motive.... (read in full...)
My BF left after having sex and messaged me..."I am not attracted to you anymore" ...
Q. Hello all. As I sit here writing this I feel pain, hurt, im emotional and a billion other things. Me and my boyfriend of 4 years had sex like 1 hour ago. It seemed to being going good until I got ontop of him and I felt like he was just sitting...
A. 13 February 2011: If it's been a four-year relationship, there is something else going on. He was already having issues. And for whatever reason wasn't man enough to tell you about them. Whatever happened during your last encounter, that was not what made him ... (read in full...)
Should I "come out" and tell my parents by letter?
Q. I'm gay and started university in October last year. The plan was to join the LGBT society, even though I was not out to anyone. I've now told some people who I live with that I'm gay,and, somehow, there's a rumour going round the rest that I am. ...
A. 13 February 2011: I'm a huge fan of letters. When it's a difficult thing to discuss, when it's important to get your words exactly right, to convey exactly what you want to convey, a letter simply can't be beat. You can draft it, you can revise it a hundred times, ... (read in full...)
All my friends are ignoring me and I feel like switching schools. Help!
Q. All of my friends have been ignoring me lately. It seems everyone else has their own clique except me, I'm thirteen. I only have about three friends I can actually talk to, and I have been feeling really depressed about this for a few months now. I ...
A. 13 February 2011: Anything in particular that makes you think that a new school is going to be better? Sometimes a fresh start is helpful, but usually it's no different. How about trying this: imagine how you'd behave at a new school, and do that where you are now. ... (read in full...)
Great relationship... ermmm... except for the sex!
Q. Have been dating a great man for seven months. Was never particularly physically attracted, but he's ok to me physically. Anyway, got into it for a few months, but after 3-4 months, have been very turned off physically. He's fairly overweight and ...
A. 13 February 2011: It's a question of your priorities, isn't it? Safety, security, comfort -- those are all great things. But the fact that you've posted the question kind of says that you're just not ready to 'settle' for what's at hand.
If I were him, I'd be a... (read in full...)
He's looking at porn every day, and defensive about it
Q. My boyfriend and I had a huge fight last night about porn. I dont mind he viewing porn but I saw he was viewing porn on everyday basis on his computer. I asked him why does he like porn and he told me , he doesnt know himself. He actually told me ...
A. 11 February 2011: This question has run its course and is now closed to further contributions.... (read in full...)
In love with a girl while in rehab...but her chequered past and questionable actions have launched me into a terrible dilemma...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 34 years old male. I was in a rehab for 5 months recently. I had been through a terrible heart break about 3 years back when the girl that I have loved since I was 14 married another guy. It's complicated, she married another ...
A. 10 February 2011: Don't mention the rumours. You have no way of knowing whether they are true or not, so why take the chance of hurting her further?
Tell her that you are taking the program seriously, that you absolutely will not have an emotional attachme... (read in full...)
Retroactive Jealousy An Opposite View Point
Q. I have read the articles on Retroactive Jealousy with great interest. I am the one that caused RJ in my lover, I have had less sexual partners than him but I have more sexual experiences. I am not proud of the things I have done and I am trying to ...
A. 10 February 2011: Wonderful sentiments, beautifully expressed. I hope you find the peace you seek.... (read in full...)
Sex Education...
Q. heres a question to all the agony aunts and uncles.... both sexes are welcome to give their opinion over this touchy mattter.... my bf and i fought today because basically i feel i dont want my daughter to be taught sex in a co-ed class, and he got ...
A. 10 February 2011: Is an all-girl sex ed class an option? If so, then talk to your daughter and see if that's what she'd prefer. I have no doubt that she would be more comfortable and get more out of it without a bunch of boys sniggering over periods (of course they ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my sister I think her boyfriend might be gay?
Q. I think my sister's boyfriend is gay. I had met him before she got together with him, and plain just assumed he was. He is very very camp, his voice, the way he acts and jokes, it would be right to assume he had to come out as straight. When my ...
A. 9 February 2011: If he is she'll figure it out on her own. There are occasions when it's reasonable to speak up with concerns -- if you know the guy to be an abuser or some such. This isn't one of those situations. You can't protect her from all the hurts in the ... (read in full...)
want passionate and mind blowing sex with my crush, not my husband!
Q. I have been married to my husband for 18 years and we have two sons together. I got married when I was very young and have had no other boyfriends ever. My husband is the only man I have ever been with in my entire life. I find that I am bec...
A. 9 February 2011: I second everything that Caring Guy said.
As the the boredom with sex, think about what you want. Sex in long-term relationships can become very routine, very predictable, and consequently dull. Are there things you want to try that aren't i... (read in full...)
I had a termination 24 hours ago and already he's wanting sex!!!
Q. i just have a quick question, i just had an abortion 24 hours ago, and for anybody that dont know how an abortion feels is painful, cramping feeling, and constant bleeding, my stupid ass boyfriend is asking me to please him sexually regardless of ...
A. 7 February 2011: He`s a pig. You can do much better.... (read in full...)
| *. Grant's friends
These are mutual friends, so *. Grant has
added them and they have added *. Grant!
|
