Like what
he writes?
... Add *. Grant to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
|
Obsessed with wife's prior sexual history
Q. I have been married for 25 years. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. My wife is a wonderful person. Everyone loves her except my family. My problem(s) stem mostly from my lack of self esteem. I have suffered from clinical depression and a...
A. 10 January 2012: I think this is a point where you should be asking yourself what you want from life. You know and I know that there are fewer days ahead than behind. At the moment you are wishing away the remaining days. Not only wishing them away, but wasting ... (read in full...)
Broken family, broken spirit
Q. I'm nearly 16, am British but live in an Arabian country. Looking back, I remember my childhood as happy and stable, but behind the scenes my dad would cheat repeatedly. The final straw came for my mum when he slept with our in-house cleaner who was ...
A. 17 January 2011: Cerberus' suggestions are good ones. I have to think that any place is better than where you are. Shame on your father for leaving you in this situation. It's horrid that girls have to endure that treatment anywhere, but it must be even harder ... (read in full...)
Why do parents disapprove of their children masturbating?
Q. Why do parents dislike that their kids masturbate ? Is it a bad thing ?...
A. 17 January 2011: A parent wants their child to grow into a successful and happy adult. Intellectually they know that that includes an appropriately developed sexual identity, and that masturbation is usually a step along that path. Emotionally, having to ... (read in full...)
Sexual relationship with my 2nd cousin?
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with my second cousin. Is this wrong? We are in love. Its not something we sought out. It just happened....
A. 17 January 2011: Legally and genetically there's no problem. If you're a particularly close family you might raise some eyebrows: "Wrong" is to some extent in the eye of the beholder.... (read in full...)
My second wife doesn't like my children from my 1st marriage!
Q. I have 4 children from my first marriage who now live in the UK with their mother, and I am in another relationship with a new wife and we have one child together. Ny new wife does not like the children from my first marriage, is resentful to them ...
A. 16 January 2011: Sorry, mate, but you screwed up by not sorting this out before you remarried. Now that you've created a new family there are no easy answers.
If you're not willing to sacrifice the relationship with the kids from your first family (which it doesn... (read in full...)
What do you do when your husband wants to live somewhere you don't?
Q. What do you do when your husband wants to live in a town (ten years at tops) but you dont want to live there? He used to live there when he was younger and i know some of the people there they were very rude and jerks to me and now that me and him ...
A. 16 January 2011: Hon, you haven't given us enough to go on. You don't live there now but you know the people there? And you feel like you know what to expect from them and it's not good. What's the problem?
Look, two years is no better than ten. If you're g... (read in full...)
She wants me to get my penis pierced!
Q. Hey everybody! I've been in relationship with this girl for 2 years now... She wants to spice things up so she got a tattoo and she asked me to get my dick pierced!! Is this too much? Is it gonna hurt? Should I do it? So many questions...
A. 16 January 2011: Oh frigging YUCK. I feel like puking at the very thought. She must be hot as hell if you're even considering it. Good God man, you want someone to stick a pin in your prick????... (read in full...)
I want to get some sun but don't want to burn or get red!
Q. Hey guys, how's it going! I haven't posted any questions in a while. But I've got one now. Soo... I'm kind of a ginger. Some people say I am, where other people say I'm "more blonde". Truth is, my hair is a strawberry blonde with red highlights. ...
A. 16 January 2011: The smart thing to do is sunblock. If you're pale, then get the highest SPF that works with your skin. Ya, the first week in the sun with SPF 80 you're going to blind people with your pale skin but you're Canadian, and all the other Canadians are ... (read in full...)
Is it important to date during your youth?
Q. is it important to have girlfriends or boyfriends during your youth? ...
A. 16 January 2011: Dating in your adolescence is important, in the sense that it helps you to understand other people your age and at your stage of development. It's an important part of the socialization process. I'm not necessarilly talking about exclusive ... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 16 January 2011: OK, I don't think I've ever seen an OP post a follow-up to this sort of question before. So I'll bite.
You want some advice that goes beyond "get over it." How about taking your brother out for a pint and telling him exactly how you feel abo... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 15 January 2011: How about learning what it means to be an adult human being, and earning the priviledges that go with that status. Which means just because you want something doesn't mean you get to have it. Do what every other responsible man in your position ... (read in full...)
My siblings are causing me misery, over my relationship. Do I stay home and put up with it, or move out?
Q. I'ts been a while since my sister revealed my intimate relationship with my 1st cousin, to my mom. Ever since I have been forbidden to see him, or have any type of contact with him. Although I know I can get in to much trouble and get him in ...
A. 15 January 2011: One of the points I always raise when people ask about cousin relationships is the effect on the family. Sounds like you're living that consequence.
If this relationship is important to you it sounds like your only choice is to move out. You're ... (read in full...)
I've tried talking it through, but she just wants sex once a month.. What can I do?
Q. I been with my girlfriend for 4 years now, she is 26 and I am 30. All that time she has never liked sex but does it just for me, once a month, always the week before her period. The thing is, I want it to last a few hours at least as we hardly do ...
A. 15 January 2011: I'm assuming that you've worked at seduction, worked at doing things to get her in the mood like massages and flowers and all the usual things that people suggest.
The thing that jumped out was "she has never liked sex but does it just for me".... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is incredibly pretty and I am worried about her cheating when she goes away to college.....
Q. my girlfriend and i have been together for over a year now. we started dating in high school and now i am at a local university, she wants to go to a different province for school. anyway, my gf is really god looking, brown hair, hazel eyes, to make ...
A. 14 January 2011: Worry and jealousy are unattractive things that won't strengthen your relationship. She's going, so act trusting and confident that your love with be enough to keep her faithful and coming back to you. Not so much that she feels taken for granted, ... (read in full...)
S it healthy for a man to masturbate even if his girlfriend will give it to him whenever he wants?
Q. Is it healthy for a man to masturbate even if his live in girlfriend will give it to him whenever he wants? Do I have a right to be upset if he rejects having sex with me time to time yet masturbates instead..keep in mind, two days in a row wihtout ...
A. 13 January 2011: OK, so masturbation is selfish. He can do it without worrying whether it's good for you. So that might be a starting point for the discussion you need to have. Is he just doing something where he doesn't have to make any effort to make it good for ... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I messed up, but I don't think it's a big deal.
Q. I need some advice. My wife thinks I messed up, and I think that what I did was no big deal. I was out with a bunch of work people after work. I occasionally take my team out for after work drinks/appetizers when we make a project goal. Th...
A. 11 January 2011: My view is that such personal information does not belong in the workplace. If you must disclose your intimate grooming habits to your co-workers that's your business, but anything that might allude to your wife's private life is really out of ... (read in full...)
My fiance watches porn on my teenage daughter's computer!
Q. Is it unreasonable to confront my Fiance on his recent porn watching on my computer that my young teenage daughter uses as well? I am another one who is not thrilled about him watching the porn, but he can do what he wants (I'd rather not know ...
A. 11 January 2011: I'm one of the people here who typically defends porn use. But absolutely not when there's the risk of exposing kids to it. How on earth could your kids ever have a decent relationship with their step-father if they know his porn habits? That's ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with wife's prior sexual history
Q. I have been married for 25 years. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. My wife is a wonderful person. Everyone loves her except my family. My problem(s) stem mostly from my lack of self esteem. I have suffered from clinical depression and a...
A. 11 January 2011: We've had a lot of discussion of retroactive jealousy on this site. I suggest you do a search on it, because some of what you are going through is relevant.
"I know I am crazy: paranoid, OCD, depressed, anxious... "
I'll take you at your word... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't propose, he comes up with lame excuses!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and we've lived together for 4 of those years. He won't propose and comes up with lame excuses. The thought of starting all over with someone else stinks but I'm tired of his excuses. Should I stay or ...
A. 11 January 2011: Illithid has it right on. Ya, starting over stinks, but that's the better of two poor options.... (read in full...)
What should I do about my sister copying me?
Q. What should I do about my sister copying me constantly? My sister is 8 years older than me and has always been a bit two faced and nasty to me even though we are fairly close. Without going into too much detail she and her friends always u...
A. 11 January 2011: Live your life, which sounds very successful. Leave her to her life, which sounds rather sad. Nothing she is doing affects you directly, so let her carry on with her illusions.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my boyfriend's overactive child?
Q. I love my boyfriend, I always have, since we were in highschool I just never got the chance to be with him, until now (10 years later). He has a 5 year old son (with his exgirlfriend) who is completely overactive. They broke up just after he was ...
A. 11 January 2011: You are in a very difficult situation, and I completely sympathize. The child wants attention, and has learned how to get it. The thing to do is to change how the child gets that attention.
When he does something that you want him to do, lavi... (read in full...)
What do guys look at and expect when giving oral sex?
Q. Hello ,ok i have been going out with a guy for about a month now,we haven't had sex because we realy like each other and wanted to know each other well before doing it,it's realy hard because we are both so phisicaly atracted and from what i have ...
A. 11 January 2011: Good hygiene is the only thing. Just be clean and everything is good. Enjoy!... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to not tell anyone I'm pregnant, and that I'm secretly getting an abortion?
Q. I need some good advice, I'm 18 and I'm in college it's my first year. I found out that I'm one month pregnant and I don't know what to do. I feel as if my life is over. I'm thinking about getting an abortion without anyone knowing. Is that wrong, ...
A. 11 January 2011: It's your body and your choice.
That said, do you have a relationship with the father? If you do, then courtesy might suggest that you discuss it with him. But that's subject to circumstances, and is your call entirely.... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm just yet, is that normal?
Q. I am 14 and masturbate occasionally, although i am never cummed :/ all my friends keep on saying they can masturbate for ages and have cummed since year 7/8. Am i not normal ? Also when i am masturbating my foreskin goes up and down and the middle ...
A. 10 January 2011: If I understand you correctly, yes, that part's normal. The foreskin should retract to expose the head of your penis when you're fully aroused.... (read in full...)
Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?
Q. I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...
A. 9 January 2011: It doesn't matter if guys in general are losing respect for women. What matters is if you demand respect. Women will get what they accept. If they put up with crap, that's what they'll get. But if a woman demands respect, if she'll only ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm just yet, is that normal?
Q. I am 14 and masturbate occasionally, although i am never cummed :/ all my friends keep on saying they can masturbate for ages and have cummed since year 7/8. Am i not normal ? Also when i am masturbating my foreskin goes up and down and the middle ...
A. 9 January 2011: Don't sweat it. There's a huge age range for when ejaculation first happens. Ya, some guys start earlier than you, but you've nothing to worry about yet. Just keep doing what feels good and you'll be fine. :)... (read in full...)
He is cheating and I am scared he will leave.
Q. My SO and I have been together for 5 years now. We have had many trials including infidelity even including a child. HE had an affair 4 years ago which resulted in his son. He left me for some time when the little guy was born but then came back ...
A. 9 January 2011: "Unconditional love". Well, that sounds very much like what you're giving him -- love not conditional on fidelity.
If you are content with the affection you and the children are getting then fine. That's your call. But it's quite clear that you... (read in full...)
I want to be spanked but my husband just cant do it!
Q. I like to be spanked but my husband just can't bring himself to do this,what can I do to change this and increase our sexlives. ...
A. 8 January 2011: If he's fundamentally less adventurous in the bedroom than you are I can't see how it will ever happen. But if he's just too much of a gentleman, perhaps you find a way for him to accept being a bit less civilized under the sheets. He knows your ... (read in full...)
Why would he masturbate when he has his wife?
Q. I periodically find used condoms in my husbands things. Like in the bathroom under a towel, or this week in his bathrobe. I know he is masturbating in them, but what should I do?? When I was first married I called him screaming and crying thinking ...
A. 8 January 2011: You haven't given us the sort of details that will help give you a proper answer. For example, have you been married 20+ years or is this a new relationship?
You will occasionally find old married couples who have great sex lives. They're ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex so I won't be the only virgin
Q. So I'm 16 and a half and junior in high school. I'm a virgin and this fact hasnt really bothered me really. Now im finding out that alot of my friends are having sex or doing other sexual things with either their girl friends or random chicks. I ...
A. 8 January 2011: I could have written this post back in the day. Something to keep in mind -- teenage guys *talk* big but what they say may not correlate with reality. In other words, there are a whole lot more virgins around you than the parking lot bullshit ... (read in full...)
I'm having anxiety problems about moving in with my soon to be husband
Q. Is it just me or is this normal....I've been having anxiety problems about moving in with my soon to be husband. I'm not moving in yet, but on the day we get married after the honeymoon, I'll be moving in with him and living with him "from here on ...
A. 8 January 2011: Your concerns are completely normal. It's difficult and a bit scary to go from living on your own to integrating your life with someone else.
Give it some time to get used to his place, but if you can't get comfortable and feel like it's home the... (read in full...)
How can I persuade my parents to let us in my room during the day?
Q. I'm 14 years old, and my boyfriend is 17. We've been together for about 2 months, he isn't one of these older boys who are just after sex or anything, he is a really decent lad. I persuaded my mum and dad to let him sleep round at the weekend. They ...
A. 4 January 2011: I can tell you that nothing would persuade me, as a parent, to allow it. It's not so much a question of trusting you. Part of a parent's job is to keep you from being in situations that can get out of control. Two teenagers dating, with privacy, ... (read in full...)
Should I keep on ignoring my mother or try to be civil with her?
Q. my mother and i have a horrible relationship. we dont talk anymore, and when we visit family around the holidays we dont even look at each other or go in the same room as each other. we stopped talking because she kicked me out because of one of...
A. 4 January 2011: The best thing you can do for yourself is only have people in your life who lift you up. As an adult you get to choose who is in your life. In an ideal world your parents would be people you would choose, but there are lots of parents out there ... (read in full...)
My fiancee wont let me leave the home unless I have a baby sitter! ! Should I cancel the wedding?
Q. Ok, here's the thing. My fiancee and I have been together on and off for 4 years. we have a 1 year old and I have a 6 year old. My fiancee has a problem with parenting. He wants to be dad when its convenient for him. dont get me wrong, he is a good ...
A. 4 January 2011: It's not called "babysitting" it's called "parenting." Somehow he doesn't sound like the type who will change after the wedding, all other things equal. You are quite right to identify this as a potential deal breaker. Sort it out and make sure ... (read in full...)
Husband expects me to go down at him at all times when he wants it. If I say no he gets agressive. Should a wife treat sexual favours as a part of the job?
Q. So I have been with my husband for almost 7 years, married for about 3 and we have a 3 year old son. Our relationship has never been super wonderful but I’m still here and I am happy some times. My issue right now is sex. As a wife am I suppose...
A. 3 January 2011: His attitude sounds like something out of the Dark Ages, not 21st century America. Sure, an active and mutually satisfying sex life is an important part of a successful marriage. In that sense, sexual "favours" are indeed part of the deal. The ... (read in full...)
My cruel and spiteful mother has left me with no self esteem...
Q. Having just turned 21, I've realised that there isn't a single year of my life so far that I can remember where I haven't hated my mother. From about the age of 10, she has repeatedly spewed hate and cruelty at me. Her favourite being to refer t...
A. 3 January 2011: Good for you! How wonderful that you're getting help!
The more open and honest you are with the counsellor, the more effective the treatment will be. The counsellor is required to keep what you say in confidence. By all means tell them *everyth... (read in full...)
Why is oral sex frowned upon?
Q. Hi(: Okay this is going to sound really awkward but I just want to know. Why do some people have such a strong opposition towards oral sex? I know this girl who told me (in her exact words by the way) "You're nothing but a slut, you sucked h...
A. 3 January 2011: Her comments might just have been a bit of jealousy. I recall saying very anti-oral things too as a teenager -- because I'd never had it, desperately wanted it, and was incredibly jealous of people who were in relationships where oral was a part. ... (read in full...)
My older brother said I can, but should I go for it?
Q. I'm a 14 year old male and am still a virgin. My older brother is 17 and has been sleeping with a couple girls since he was 13 and said I could sleep with them if I wanted. I have never seen her but I know she's hot. Should I go for it even though ...
A. 3 January 2011: You seem to be thinking that your virginity is some sort of curse, something to be gotten rid of as soon as you can. That's more or less how I felt about it when I was 14. I did indeed toss it away one drunken night, and have regretted it to ... (read in full...)
Is the porn industry corrupting me?
Q. My new years resolution would be not to masturbate while dating. Though since im not I do everyday after school ( Finished all my homework etc.) will it be hard to stop. the reason(s) are below 2. I heard that an over consumsion of Pornagra...
A. 3 January 2011: The depictions of sex in porn are often completely unrealistic. So for someone young with limited experience in real-life relationships, porn can indeed be very damaging if it results in unrealistic expectations of your partner. That in my mind is ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want sex and I don't want an affair
Q. My wife has not wanted sex for over 2 years. Should i consider a prostitute. I do not want an affair....
A. 3 January 2011: You haven't given us much to go on. Is your relationship otherwise good? Has she been made aware of your distress, and has she given a valid reason for cutting you off? If the answer to those questions is yes, then you might consider raising the ... (read in full...)
My cruel and spiteful mother has left me with no self esteem...
Q. Having just turned 21, I've realised that there isn't a single year of my life so far that I can remember where I haven't hated my mother. From about the age of 10, she has repeatedly spewed hate and cruelty at me. Her favourite being to refer t...
A. 3 January 2011: Your story sounds quite incredible. Normal? Not in any way. You are being abused. Whatever it takes, move out. And once you're out, seek counselling -- it will take a great deal of time and professional assistance to undo the damage that's been ... (read in full...)
I was told by my GF :"Girls don't like it when guys last long, they get sore and it hurts down there". Really???
Q. Hi, Happy New Year by the way! So, when I have sex with my girlfriend, first I pleasure her for about 7 minutes until she finishes, then we have sex and I last for about 1 minute on a good night. Now, once I kept "doing it" for a while after I wa...
A. 2 January 2011:
The only thing that matters is what's good for her. Yes, girls can get sore if you go on too long. Do what's good for her, and enjoy.... (read in full...)
| *. Grant's friends
These are mutual friends, so *. Grant has
added them and they have added *. Grant!
|
