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*unty Babbit agony aunt

*unty Babbit

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*unty Babbit's profile:

I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are in their teens OMG!

I am very happily married, second time round.

My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.

I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.

I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well

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How do you respond to a Facebook flirt?

Q.   With Facebook, Google +1 and the ilk we are flooding more of ourselves into the public eye than at any other time in history. Given that fact, do you take comments, flirts or pokes too seriously? These sites are targeted as social interaction, for...

A.   31 March 2014: Firstly I think if a person is uncomfortable with back biting, Chinese whispers or flirting on Facebook then they should use the privacy settings available on Facebook. This way they can monitor who can see their posts and pictures and communic... (read in full...)

How much are you expected to spend on your girlfriend?

Q.   Hi, I need an opinion and an advice, it's a bit long but I would really appreciate your help! First of all some details: I'm in a long relationship, we are about 6 years together (from age about 20), I love her but not sure how much she loves m...

A.   31 March 2014: I don't think these expectations by your girlfriend are at all normal or reasonable for that matter. I do think that she's self centred, lazy and taking you for granted. You're both students but YOU work part time, she just spends your mone... (read in full...)

If he can't stop I wtll walk!

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. My Fiance and I have been together 5 years, we have two soon to be three beautiful children together (4, 2 soon to be 3 and our last due in june) We are getting married next month. My deliemma is that I found he posted a ...

A.   30 March 2014: You say you have dealt with loss of trust twice before and now this is the third time. My heart goes out to you. You've taken such a brave step to rebuild trust and fight for this relationship only to have this happen again. I can't help think... (read in full...)

I try my best but he gets angry and irritated with me.

Q.   Why is my boyfriend behaving this way? I'm really upset.? My boyfriend is really upsetting me. He's get angry and irritated with me and is making me really upset. I'm a good girl. I try my best with him. I go to gym regularly to keep fit lo...

A.   30 March 2014: Your boyfriend is a bully. Maybe he's been cheated on in the past and he now has issues where fidelity's concerned HOWEVER, this doesn't give him the right to accuse or insinuate that you would behave in that way or threaten you in any way. ... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant, and it's not a good time!

Q.   I just found out I am three weeks pregnant - it's not the best time for it in that Myself and my boyfriend have just moved into his parents house for the year so that he can afford to start his own business. (I have a permanent job.) And right now, ...

A.   29 March 2014: It's very early days but I think he needs to know as soon as possible. His stress isn't going vanish overnight and there may always be another stress on the horizon that needs dealing with before it's the "perfect" time to tell him. You're ... (read in full...)

I know if I talk to him I'll take him back ...

Q.   Dear Cupid I am with my bf for almost 4 years. We never really talked about marriage as he has some commitment issues. We had our ups and downs, but for past 2 months relationship is going downhill, he often talks about his boss (lady) with whom...

A.   29 March 2014: If he is in love with his boss then it's no doubt unrequited, it's probably in all honesty just a crush! He obviously has good self esteem to think that so many women want his attention. Whether this belief of his is true or not, it's disres... (read in full...)

Never thought it would go on so long or get so serious, and now I can't live with the lies

Q.   You guys have probably never gotten a problem like this before...what I'm about to say is completely disgusting but please bare with me. I randomly met a guy online about 1 year ago. It was all just fun and games at first and a few days into ta...

A.   29 March 2014: cont.... (sorry I got posted too soon) If you end up getting hurt then, to be honest, I feel it's your due. I just hope you learn from this and never do it again. I wish you well AB x... (read in full...)

Never thought it would go on so long or get so serious, and now I can't live with the lies

Q.   You guys have probably never gotten a problem like this before...what I'm about to say is completely disgusting but please bare with me. I randomly met a guy online about 1 year ago. It was all just fun and games at first and a few days into ta...

A.   29 March 2014: I don't think that there is any easy way out of this mess. This is exactly why we warn people, who write to us about their LDR boyfriend/girlfriend who they've never met but KNOW it's the real thing, to be careful. Your intentions may n... (read in full...)

Sex when on my period?

Q.   My boyfriend won't have sex with me when I am on my period. It's nothing to worry about to have sex on my period - what should I do??? ...

A.   26 March 2014: Respect his wishes. Many women feel very turned on during their period but if your guy doesn't like having sex at this time there is nothing you can or should do to make him. As other aunts say there are steps you can take to make it less mes... (read in full...)

The bio father has never shown any interest in her but she's been messaging him

Q.   My daughter has recently been messaging her biological father through Facebook. I'm really not sure how to handle this or feel about it. He has never shown any interest in her and has never actively tried to see her. I know that now she is 14, I...

A.   26 March 2014: At 14 years old, as lovely as she may be, your daughter will only consider herself, she is not an adult and will not think like one. Like all children she will have totally taken for granted everything you and her step father have done for her.... (read in full...)

I'm thinking of giving the baby up for adoption but getting no support

Q.   Dear Cupid, I'm having a kid soon, and I was wondering what the cons of adoption are. When I first discovered I was pregnant, I nearly had an abortion, but was convinced not to follow through by my mother and friends. Now that I mention adoption...

A.   26 March 2014: No, you are not wrong and I think you are wonderful to consider what is best for your baby. Everything you say is right, up to a point. Living in poverty is no fun and trying to raise a child alone is very difficult but not impossible and raising ... (read in full...)

I feel bad for making him suffer

Q.   Hi, this is my problem: I was really in love with this bodybuilding guy. He was the only guy who had ever treated me with love and cared and pampered me and spoiled. He was almost perfect. We were really in love and by no means would we ha...

A.   26 March 2014: No, your not a bad person and neither is he, you are both young and both of your parents put you in a very difficult situation. Rightly or wrongly your parents believed that your ex wasn't right for you. Sadly his immaturity was evident in that ... (read in full...)

Why couldn't he perform?

Q.   I lost my virginity tonight, it wasn't what I thought it'd be like, the guy was drunk. We did it for a little bit and then he started talking just about random stuff and we were just laying there not doing anything. He started falling asleep. When i ...

A.   26 March 2014: Honeypie is so right, just because he didn't ejaculate in you does not mean you're protected from STD's or pregnancy. You must contact your GP or local STD clinic and get advice as soon as they're open. She's also right in saying that the ... (read in full...)

I am already pregnant. So how do my husband and I handle his parents who flipped about the pregnancy because my husband is disabled?

Q.   I need some advice on how to deal with the things going on in my life at the moment. I Will tell u the back story. My husband and I were involved in an accident a few years ago and it left my husband significantly physically disabled and I'm now ...

A.   26 March 2014: I was totally shocked to read your letter. Surely after everything you have both been through you would have thought that your husband's parents would be thrilled that something so wonderful is happening for you both. I really cannot understan... (read in full...)

Fell pregnant after a holiday fling, now he wants to meet to discuss my choice!

Q.   I fell pregnant after a holiday fling last year when my group of friend met a few guys at the same hotel. I decided to have an abortion because I wasn't in anyway ready for a child. Plus I couldn't see the child's father being supportive at all ...

A.   26 March 2014: This guy has no right at all to make you feel bad. Given the circumstances I think you made a brave decision and the right one for you. It wasn't an easy choice but it was your choice to make given the circumstances, not his. I can't see how... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to look at other women and come to the conclusion that some are better than my wife?

Q.   Is it wrong to look at other women if you find yourself thinking they are better than your wife in some way? For example you see a woman who has long shapely legs, and you catch yourself thinking for a second she has nicer legs than your wife. I ...

A.   25 March 2014: Hi OP, You pose an interesting question so I spoke to Mr Babbit about this to see if our opinions varied. We both had the same opinion and here it is. It is perfectly normal, as you state, for men or women to notice someone they find attrac... (read in full...)

Feels like no one is genuinely excited about our engagement. There are challenges. What can I do to cope with it all?

Q.   It feels like no one is genuinely excited about my recent engagement. I've been dating a wonderful man for about 6 months and he recently proposed. We are in a long distance relationship, and there are a lot of challenges to us being together-t...

A.   25 March 2014: I'm sure you are finding it depressing and not what you want to hear but your parents and your best friend only want what's best for you and they feel concern. I will be honest with you and give you my opinion. I'm sure this man is as lovely... (read in full...)

Do folk think the likes me or not? How can I show him I am interested ?

Q.   Hi, I'm feeling confused over a man I have knew for a few months. He blows hot and cold! I see him once a week at church, Some weeks he is great around me and comes up to me and chats away, putting his arm around me,rubs my arm, flirts ect a...

A.   25 March 2014: I really don't know whether or not he "likes" you in a romantic way, only he would know the answer to that question. It does seem strange, however, that one week he's friendly, the next he's distant. This doesn't sound like the behaviour of a man... (read in full...)

The guy I'm seeing will be leaving for Germany soon and now seems reluctant for me to visit

Q.   Met a guy who I really like. He said it was his best first date etc. He's now met my family and we get on so well we could spend days together. Been dating 2 months now. However he's unfortunately going to Germany for 5 months next week for univ...

A.   25 March 2014: It's not needy to want to know where you stand and I think how you come across depends on how you pose the question. I would be honest and ask him outright whether he's uncomfortable about you visiting him in Germany. If he says yes, explore ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be anxious after becoming engaged?

Q.   Did I just make a huge mistake accepting a proposal? I've been dating a wonderful man for about six months, and he just proposed yesterday. I love him, and I feel like I can see myself having a happy life with him. I am freaking out right n...

A.   24 March 2014: I think after only six months of dating it would be quite normal to feel anxious about accepting a proposal. I don't think this means you've made a huge mistake, I just think it means things are moving faster than you're able to handle. I think... (read in full...)

Why do young girls keep naughty pictures and make mean comments?

Q.   hi this is not a relationship question or sex question, but anyway i decided to ask in order to get some feedback from you guys. i've been searching (and viewing)a lor of facebook profiles (of girls) and there is a thing i don't understand. why thes...

A.   24 March 2014: Because maybe they're NOT the "nice" type of girls you'd like to introduce to your mother. But let's look a little deeper. Firstly YOU are searching through profiles of girls aged as young as 14 years. 14-20! That's a very diverse age range... (read in full...)

How to I reconcile knowing something significant about my boyfriend's father that even he doesn't know?

Q.   So my partner is one of three children. He has a different father to the younger two and sees this dad as his also. He has no interest in his biological 'father' since he never had anything to do with him. Last night I was drinking with my...

A.   24 March 2014: What a horrible situation to be in! If you're not going to tell him (and for what it's worth I completely agree with you it's not your place to tell him) I think you need to consider what his reaction could be if he discovers that you knew and... (read in full...)

Why won't he dance with me?

Q.   My husband to be dance competitively in college - salsa, tango and ballroom with his ex wife for many years. We've been together 3 1/2 yrs and not once has he taken me dancing. Our wedding is this summer and I don't know how to deal with the first ...

A.   23 March 2014: You've been together 3 1/2 years and are engaged to be married but you can't let him know how you feel about wanting to dance with him, especially at your wedding? You're making a lot of assumptions. You assume he enjoyed dancing in college,... (read in full...)

IS it crazy for me to try to work things out with my ex?

Q.   I broke up with my bf last November after being together for 2 years. We're both in our mid 30's and were in somewhat of a long distance relationship causing us to only see each other on the weekend. The main reasons for the breakup was that we were ...

A.   23 March 2014: Dear OP, thank you for your update. I hope you're OK. For what it's worth, I think you acted sensibly and responsibly in telling this guy how you feel and his response was less than immature. You come across as a caring person who has tried ve... (read in full...)

IS it crazy for me to try to work things out with my ex?

Q.   I broke up with my bf last November after being together for 2 years. We're both in our mid 30's and were in somewhat of a long distance relationship causing us to only see each other on the weekend. The main reasons for the breakup was that we were ...

A.   20 March 2014: I can see why you two argued. I don't think your original argument was immature, the points raised were reasonable given your ages and the point you were at in your relationship. What you need to know is where you both stand on these issues ... (read in full...)

Need help deciding on my 30th birthday plans!

Q.   I'm not sure what to do for my 30th birthday. It is on 16th May, so I don't have much time to plan this. I hope you can help. 1 . My favourite singer is doing a concert on my birthday in London. I could go to London from Wednesday or Thu...

A.   8 March 2014: If you love the sound of all of these things and they're all possible, I say put the choices on slips of paper and pull one out of a hat. One of two things will happen, you'll either have your answer OR you'll be disappointed with choice and know... (read in full...)

We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.

Q.   is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...

A.   5 March 2014: You are very brave and I admire you for your courage in writing your original post and the decisions you have made. I wish you nothing but happiness Love AB xx :)... (read in full...)

We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.

Q.   is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...

A.   3 March 2014: Thank you for your response OP, however I would just like to point out that pre and post nuptial agreements, in this country are very often not worth the paper they're written on, so please be sure yours is watertight.Please note that although your ... (read in full...)

My brother's future wife is lying about her age and her sexual past! Do I tell him or keep my mouth shut?

Q.   Hey, everyone...am in desperate need of advice. My elder brother is set to marry this coming july. The problem is he is marrying a woman he dated for only two months. I know most will say that it doesn't matter how long you date. But I think he...

A.   2 March 2014: Everything you've heard is just gossip and rumour. You have nothing factual to go on. I can understand that you're protective of your brother but he has to live his own life and make his own mistakes. There are a few ways to deal with this a... (read in full...)

I always think the worst, even when things are great!

Q.   I've known my boyfriend for over seven years, but have only been dating him for a little less than a year. I love him dearly. However, he lives in Europe. I'm American. We visit as much as possible, but it's expensive. We've talked about vis...

A.   2 March 2014: You're feeling this way because your heart is telling you one thing and your head is telling you to be cautious. Yes you're in love and that's exciting and wonderful, so are dreams of your wedding day and the future you could have. The rea... (read in full...)

Why did he suddenly start texting me again?

Q.   All of a sudden he started texting me again after being distant for months. Here is a little of history: We became friends very fast around this time last year (we had a lot in common) and we hang out a lot (I fell in love with him). Then one...

A.   2 March 2014: This guy loves the thrill of the chase and he sees you as a sexual challenge. He's ignored you for ages but he only has to text you a couple of times and start communicating again. He loves your naivety and innocence but I truly believe he... (read in full...)

We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.

Q.   is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...

A.   2 March 2014: I'm so sorry, but I'm reading your letter and seriously wondering why you're still bothering. Yes, he's been sweet, attentive, charming and kind but all players are like that. This man was married for 25 years and cheated throughout, you ... (read in full...)

I am starting to get angry at his attitude!

Q.   I have been dating a man for 3 years. I have stupidly "overlooked" some interesting behaviors on his part including: does he like and respect women? (Example: if it's breast cancer awareness month he goes on about how come its all about women? If ...

A.   1 March 2014: Think of his silence as a lucky escape and keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't contact you anymore. There is nothing you could possibly do to make this man happy, he's the type of personality that will suck the joy out of everything in life.... (read in full...)

Natural birth questions

Q.   These questions are for mothers who chose to have a natural birth with no pain medications. I am expecting my first baby this summer and i want to do it with out pain medications but my mother thinks i'm not strong enough to and iv hear some bad ...

A.   1 March 2014: Just to add, labouring in water (and birth too if you like the idea) is a wonderful form of pain relief. TENS machines (do not use in water) are excellent too if applied in early labour and used throughout the whole labour. This machine stimulat... (read in full...)

She cheated on me with my cousin but now wants me back?

Q.   My wife cheated with my cousin she said it was my falt i was in jail at the time she. said she didn't feel loved now I'm out she says she want me back i feel that she was lusting for him but now I'm hurt and don't no if i wanna be with her what ...

A.   1 March 2014: It must have been hard for her when you were in prison however if she still wants to be with you then she should have stood by you whilst you were in there and that includes being faithful. I don't know why you were sent down and whether it was r... (read in full...)

Natural birth questions

Q.   These questions are for mothers who chose to have a natural birth with no pain medications. I am expecting my first baby this summer and i want to do it with out pain medications but my mother thinks i'm not strong enough to and iv hear some bad ...

A.   1 March 2014: As a mother of 2 and a retired midwife, you're not alone in wanting a natural birth. Every birth is different, every woman will have a different experience with each child she has. For each natural birth with a desired outcome there will be a ... (read in full...)

Birth control question!

Q.   Okay so I have been on birth control for about 4 months and after the first two months I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend a bunch. A condom is not used AT ALL. Do you think I should have less sex, sex with a condom all the time, or ...

A.   1 March 2014: The birth control pill (if taken properly) will pretty much protect you against unwanted pregnancy. The % of protection varies depending on which pill you're taking. It will NOT, however, protect you from any sexually transmitted diseases (STD's).... (read in full...)

I am waiting for the text that will ruin my weekend ...

Q.   Hello. I will probably get the answer to this question either later on today or tomorrow from the source, but I was just curious to find out other people's opinions and whether or not other girls or guys out there have had a similar experience. I...

A.   1 March 2014: Firstly, YOU haven't blown anything, FA is right, she's playing it safe. She's set all the rules and you've played by them. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't but if it doesn't, neither one of you is to blame. It could just be that she isn'... (read in full...)

He is eight years older, I like him and I think he likes me!

Q.   Ok so I'm at my moms friends house all the time ...I sleep here almost every night. She is like another mother to me and I've known her my whole life. She lives with her husband, her kids, and her brother in law. They are all like a family to me and ...

A.   23 February 2014: It's reassuring to hear that you're not intending to consider a sexual relationship with this guy. He seems like a nice guy and you appear to be quite sensible, the one concern I have, if I'm honest, is where you are emotionally. You say you'r... (read in full...)

Wrong name caused husband's family to miss flight to see ill family member. How do I help husband get over the guilt?

Q.   The other night my husband's close friend's sister who lives in the south (we live in the north east) hung herself (very sad as there was no indication just 1 day before in social network posts). She was actually found and revived, then sent to a ...

A.   23 February 2014: The family will lash out, my love, due to their grief. In my experience of people dealing with bereavement, especially suicide, emotions run incredibly high. In cases of suicide the family will feel guilt because they were not able to save her... (read in full...)

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