Like what
he writes?
... Add *ndy00 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ndy00 a private message | | | *ndy00's profile:*There's more about me below*
Why should you listen to my advice?: If I give you it, it means I probably have experience with the situation/problem you're having
Location: Oxford - UK
Currently: Single
Profile updated: 27th of March 2011
I'm Andy. I'm something of a sentimentalist. I consider myself to be romantic and affectionate
I first found my way to Dearcupid after my first dose of heartbreak. I was in a long distance relationship (240 miles) for over two years from 2005 - 2007. I met my girlfriend originally in December 2004 over the website Habbo Hotel, she found me purely because she liked my hair (I had an Afro at the time!). We ended up talking every night over MSN. By April, she revealed that she liked me, and very soon after, I decided I felt the same way.
On the 10th of July 2005, we met in her home town. I remember getting off the train, and she was stood right down the other end of the platform, and ran towards me like something out of a movie. I threw my bags down, and she dove into my arms for the first time. Later that day, after 3 hours of being crowded by her sister and mum, we got our first minutes alone, and kissed for the first time. In my case, it was my first kiss ever. It was magic.
We met up on 13 different occaisions, including a couple of camping trips alone together as well as a holiday to Cuba as late as April 2007. Then everything changed.
On the 25th of June, just over 2 weeks before the anniversary of the day that we met on that Summers day at the train station, 5 weeks before we were scheduled to meet up again; She rang me up in tears and told me that she thought we should end things. I was completely devastated. She told me her decision came due to the fact that she didn't think we would have as much time to meet up when she went to University, and that things were hard enough as they were. Also, we had argued over stupid things a little more regularly, but I didn't think it was any thing worse than what all couples encounter. I hadn't fallen out of love with her, but she now expected me to do so and become just a friend. By breaking up with me, as of that day, I had pretty much lost my best friend in all the world, and it wouldn't take long before it was clear that I couldn't handle the transition from boyfriend to friend.
Instead of talking every night, we went back and forth from talking to not talking. Anytime I spoke to her, after a few days I would start to miss her, and even cry over her. Her father died of liver problems less than 6 months after we broke up. After he passed, me and her spoke for a couple of nights, and I told her that I would try and support her like a friend should during that time of sadness, but it didn't take long for me to start avoiding her again. I felt really guilty for that. She wanted to be my friend, and I wanted to be more than her friend. I was crushed by what she had put me through. It always stuck with me when we spoke for the last time. It was about 2 months after her dad died. She told me "I feel like I've lost so much already, I don't want to lose you as a friend." And as much as it kills me, she did. We haven't spoken since... and to this day I still feel guilty, though I have come to accept that I had to protect myself from being hurt further.
I can honestly say that that experience has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. But we're 5 years on from when we met each other and I have since found love and lost love again, twice in fact! My 2nd love showed me that I am capable of loving others and having meaningful relationships. The 3rd one has shown me how to be happy without having someone in my life. In truth, I have never really been happy within myself since my first love left me. I felt like I needed somebody in order to be happy. It's a shame that I have had to go through heartbreak to learn that, but for the time being I feel a great deal better about myself and even feel like I can maintain a friendship with my ex's... Maybe even my first love in time.
Throughout this whole experience, I have found out that pain only make you stronger, the first cut is the deepest and time really does heal all wounds.
Cheers for reading, and may this be an encouragement to everyone else out there who has experienced heartbreak! Things really will get better for you one day, you have to believe! |
|
| Latest articles: The Last Laugh... Is it really on me? ;)
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hi, it's Andy00. I just thought I would share something with all of you. As you all know, I went through a horrible case of heartbreak 10 months ago, after my distance relationship was cut off by the girl I love (it still hurts to this day). But h...
1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2008: Hi everyone. This is my second article. I just felt the need to tell the story of some occurrences that took place a year ago from today, where me, my family and my beloved girlfriend took a trip together across the atlantic ocean to Cuba. To s...
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 February 2008: Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
|
My parents will laugh and make jokes at me if I tell them about my girlfriend!
Q. I've been going out with this girl for about a month and I want to tell my parent but if i do, they will laugh and make jokes! I realy want them to know what happens in my life but it feels like I'm living two lives. I don't know what to do. ...
A. 29 October 2007: Hi.
You sound a little like me. I was worried that my parents would react this way when I met a girl. But I can tell you from my experience; they couldn't have been more cool about it. They didn't crowd me, they didn't pry into our relation... (read in full...)
My b/f and I can't talk without getting into a fight!
Q. My b/f and I can't talk without getting into a fight! It seems like he feels the need to challenge everything that comes out of my mouth, even the most benign statements. He corrects, or contradicts with attitude. It's getting to the point where I ...
A. 29 October 2007: I can see how this would become annoying. The realtionship I was in not so long ago found many arguements through things which you speak of; seems like anything you say has to be corrected, or challenged.
I will say that this is not a good sig... (read in full...)
13, worried because I've never had a boyfriend! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I'm 13 and I've never had a boyfriend. Everyone else seems to have had one. There are girls in my form that have been out with sooo many boys. They have like 10 different ones every year and have been going out with people since they were like 8. ...
A. 27 October 2007: I can say that I didn't get a girlfriend until I was 16, and I'm no different from anybody else.
There's nothing wrong with you. Be patient, and you will meet someone :)... (read in full...)
Is it love or addiction?
Q. Hey Aunts, My original post is here is you want to read: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-treat-her-like-a-princess-but-she.html I hav'nt spoken to my ex since sunday night, i was quite angry and I didnt part on good terms. Her depressi...
A. 24 October 2007: Hey Dude, it's been a long time.
I hate that you're still having some trouble with that girl, mate, but you're not alone. I'm still fairly stuck in the same old rut as usual. Me and you used to message eachother quite a lot some time ago, so just ... (read in full...)
I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?
Q. Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...
A. 22 October 2007: There's quite a lot of long answers on here, which is great. However, I would like to raise my swift opinion:
Slip of the tongue or not, that was a horrible remark for him to make.
He should definately apologize for his words, and if he wants ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't love me, after being with me for a year and a half... Will he ever love me?
Q. We've been together for a year and a half and and still says he doesn't love me. However, he is the most loyal and devoted man I've ever been with. This is his first serious relationship and besides that, I have no complaints...but I'm wondering if ...
A. 22 October 2007: Unfortunately I have heard that there are people out there who just aren't very good at showing, or even admitting their love. You mention a couple of good qualities in him, but I think it is such a shame that all you want for him is to tell him ... (read in full...)
He's been looking at busty women. Should I be worried?
Q. I know I shouldn't have done it, but because of past relationships I looked into my boyfriend's history on his computer and found that he looked at a couple of youtube clips featuring very busty ladies. He told me he was just curious when the clips ...
A. 22 October 2007: I wouldn't look too deep into it. I would say it's perfectly normal for guys, and indeed girls, to be attracted by things that may not be true of their partner. This doesn't mean that he would leave you for anybody with bigger breasts than you, so ... (read in full...)
Friendship is nice, but should I take ONE LAST CHANCE to try and make her mine again?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm sorry if this has come up before, but I'm faced with a bit of a crisis. Most of you on this site know me and my situation by now, but for those of you who don't; I was in a long distance relationship for two years, and this ...
A. 18 October 2007: Hmmm. Well, I've decided to try harder to make our friendship work. The only way I'm going to be able to move forward though is to see no future at all with her.
I guess things are in my favour to believe that. But as much as it was a mere gli... (read in full...)
Friendship is nice, but should I take ONE LAST CHANCE to try and make her mine again?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm sorry if this has come up before, but I'm faced with a bit of a crisis. Most of you on this site know me and my situation by now, but for those of you who don't; I was in a long distance relationship for two years, and this ...
A. 18 October 2007: Is now the time for me to just give up? It feels like such a weak thing to do; knowing that I've reached a point I maybe don't even have the gall to stay her friend anymore.
What do you think?... (read in full...)
Friendship is nice, but should I take ONE LAST CHANCE to try and make her mine again?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm sorry if this has come up before, but I'm faced with a bit of a crisis. Most of you on this site know me and my situation by now, but for those of you who don't; I was in a long distance relationship for two years, and this ...
A. 18 October 2007: Hi everyone, and thanks for your comments. But tonight I have really changed my prespectives.
I worry that I'm just being her friend, PURELY in the hope that one day we'll be together again. It's wrong. I'm wrong and I feel like a monster.... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to be upset about my boyfriend saying that I get attention from men because they think I am a hooker??? He said it was a joke...
Q. Hi, I took my boyfriend to Las Vegas for his birthday.On our second night we were all dressed up and waiting for a bus to go to a show when some guys in a car started screaming to get my attention. I just looked back and asked them if they wer...
A. 17 October 2007: Not being able to view the situation myself makes it a little difficult to really analyze if he was just joking around. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he was just joking with you, but it's difficult to know for sure. You weren't certain he was joking. ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with this break-up?
Q. I was with him for over a year and a half, and we were deeply committed and in love, and living together. he got very ill about 8 months into our relationship, and i stuck by him for all of the treatment. when the treatments were over, we fell ...
A. 17 October 2007: Coping with a break-up is rarely easy to manage. Emotions are obviously still high between you both, so I would suggest some time apart. A few months or so where you'll both be able to clear your heads a little. After that, see how things are. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't satisfy me - any hints?
Q. I have been married for 23yrs Usually he takes time to come. But in the last few years he no longer makes the effort after making love he masturbates to come. unsatisfied wife. any hint...
A. 17 October 2007: As suggested before; I would talk to him. Ask him why there has been an occuring change in your sex life. Hopefully he should be able to answer anything you want to know.
Discussing things with him holds the key to the possibility of making y... (read in full...)
I really like him. Should I carry this relationship on?
Q. i really like this boy and he likes me but he says he takes certain lessons just to be with the girls should i carry this relationship on?...
A. 17 October 2007: I can offer no better advice than Tommy7's, but I will say; make sure you don't try to "change" him as a person, because there's a difference from Teaching somebody and changing someone, so make sure you don't cross that path by trying to force ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my long distance relationshp, or tell him it's not working?
Q. Hi People, I need some advice. I have a boyfriend In Turkey who loves me and i love him 2. The problem is there is a guy over here who i really like and he likes me 2 and i am struggleing to find the power to say no to him because its hard for me t...
A. 14 October 2007: If there is no chance in ever meeting him, I would suggest ending it. Long distance relationships can work if you are able to see eachother some of the time, but if you never see them, then I don't think it can.
Sorry, I would call it quits. T... (read in full...)
My man cheated on me and I hurt so badly!
Q. i need advise really bad well my bf of almost 2 years had been hiding something from me for about 7 months and last night he fianlly admited that he faked phone sex with his ex girl friend, but we were not together and let me tell you why thi...
A. 13 October 2007: Give it time. Soon you will realize that this guy is not worth getting upset over. I understand that you probably are right now, but in the future you will find somebody worthy of your trust, and will love and respect you like every guy should, ... (read in full...)
When will I be ready for a relationship?
Q. when do i know im ready to start another relationship when my first true love just broke up with me i am shattered over it. in a million peices. i feel like love will never be the same....
A. 13 October 2007: I know what you're going through, Sealmire, and I don't think people are lying when they say "everybody goes through this". What you're going through is almost a fact of life, so to speak.
You're probably thinking "Well, we could have stayed t... (read in full...)
What is anal sex?
Q. what is anal sex?...
A. 12 October 2007: Your question was blunt, so in that respect, I'll answer in the same fashion:
Anal Sex is where a person penetrates their partners Anus.... (read in full...)
How can I deal with her eventually moving on??
Q. I can't bear the thought of my ex-girlfriend moving on. It feels as though it's going to take me a long time to get a new girlfriend, since she was my first, and I have loved her for the past 4 years I've known her, and these 5 months without ...
A. 12 October 2007: I will quickly say: I made a mistake. I put 4 years, I meant 2.
Apologies.... (read in full...)
Does splitting chores help the bond?
Q. ok is it a good idea to do things with my man like go do laundry together and stupid things that need done will this help our bond ...
A. 10 October 2007: I agree with, Stina. A little more detail will give us a little more understanding into your problem.
I would like to think that you are not doing this to earn his respect. He should have respect for you as a person without you helping him with... (read in full...)
Does splitting chores help the bond?
Q. ok is it a good idea to do things with my man like go do laundry together and stupid things that need done will this help our bond ...
A. 10 October 2007: I would have said doing anything together would help your bond. And if it makes the chore a little better than it would have been without the other's company, then what's the harm in that?
I'd say, yes, this will help your bond. But beware, ... (read in full...)
Will I always be this miserable?
Q. When will my heart heal? I promised myself long before my girlfriend of 2 years split with me that I would never allow myself to become depressed... But I think that is what's happening, and it just doesn't seem right. It's been almost 3 1/2 mo...
A. 10 October 2007: Thanks for your help everybody. I guess it's just been one of them days. Recently I've been so easilly dragged into this state, and I really don't like it. I will try to take your advice for the good of myself... I still really miss my ex though. ... (read in full...)
How can I keep my long distance romance alive?
Q. What can I do to keep my long distant relationship aflamed? How do I express myself feelings freely to my lover without being shy?...
A. 4 October 2007: In answer to how to avoid being shy: Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Say whatever your heart tells you and don't regret it.
To keep the relationship alive takes a lot of work. My only advice I can really give is; have things to talk abo... (read in full...)
I want to make my ex jealous
Q. hi i just wanted to get on here and see what this was all about. i love my exboyfriend, but im dating somebody else. just to make him jealous cause its his cuzin and all. what do i do? is that mean? ...
A. 4 October 2007: My advice? Grow up!!
Don't use jealousy as an emotional weapon. Consider the new guy you're dating? What of his feelings? Do they not matter a damn because you're trying to hurt the feelings of an ex? And furthermore! It's his cousin! That has... (read in full...)
I want her back, but it could destroy me. Do I gamble???
Q. Do I gamble and try and get something back with my ex? For those of you who haven't bee keeping up. My girlfriend of 2 years split with me back in June, because she was going to University. We had endured a long distance relationship sin...
A. 2 October 2007: Firstly, thank you all for your advice/opinions. I will do my best to keep some kind of friendship without me going through more pain.
I think my next step should be to text her now and again... I'm not sure how often though. The plan was that we ... (read in full...)
I'm suffering from BOREDOM! Any advice?
Q. Not really a relationship question, but more of a problem exacerbated by breaking up. I'm so bored! HELP ME! It's monday. I don't have college. It's raining. I don't have the car. My old friends who lived nearby have gone to univeristy. All ...
A. 1 October 2007: And for the record, you're advice was appreciated. Your assumption was not.... (read in full...)
I'm suffering from BOREDOM! Any advice?
Q. Not really a relationship question, but more of a problem exacerbated by breaking up. I'm so bored! HELP ME! It's monday. I don't have college. It's raining. I don't have the car. My old friends who lived nearby have gone to univeristy. All ...
A. 1 October 2007: Ok, since you want to continue to challenging my question;
Lets say you had a boyfriend. He lived over 200 miles away from you, hardly the most practical circumstance. Only able to contact eachother via phone, text or internet. After 2 years of... (read in full...)
I'm suffering from BOREDOM! Any advice?
Q. Not really a relationship question, but more of a problem exacerbated by breaking up. I'm so bored! HELP ME! It's monday. I don't have college. It's raining. I don't have the car. My old friends who lived nearby have gone to univeristy. All ...
A. 1 October 2007: That's fair, eyeswideopen. I did not mean to be rude, but an implication with no logic behind it was given out there, and I didn't like it.
Short stories. Interesting idea. I just wish I had any clue of what to write about. haha.... (read in full...)
I'm suffering from BOREDOM! Any advice?
Q. Not really a relationship question, but more of a problem exacerbated by breaking up. I'm so bored! HELP ME! It's monday. I don't have college. It's raining. I don't have the car. My old friends who lived nearby have gone to univeristy. All ...
A. 1 October 2007: And now I think I should question the anonymous answer;
Why the hell should you be glad we split up!? We split up because of circumstance, and now I happen to be bored. I didn't see my girlfriend as some kind of "Pass time" so if that's what you... (read in full...)
I'm suffering from BOREDOM! Any advice?
Q. Not really a relationship question, but more of a problem exacerbated by breaking up. I'm so bored! HELP ME! It's monday. I don't have college. It's raining. I don't have the car. My old friends who lived nearby have gone to univeristy. All ...
A. 1 October 2007: Ok, I've heard it a few times now.
A) I already have a job, with no extra hours avaliable to me. Not even over the summer!
B) There is a gym, but it's pretty far out of the way.
Nice ideas though.... (read in full...)
My partner wants to go to university, but I'm afraid of the distance this implies; feel miserable verytime it's brought up.
Q. my partner wants to goto university, and i hate the thought of them leaving me. I know a relationship couldn't work between us with a 50mile distance if they go. I don't know what to do or say. 'Cos its their life and they can do what they want, but ...
A. 30 September 2007: Distance might be a strain for you because you have been together the all the time before this. You are comfortable with how things are, and a dramatic shift from your current situation to a situation that takes a lot of mental strength to endure.
... (read in full...)
So miserable... My ex-girlfriend is all I want in the world. She cannot be mine, and it hurts. What do you think?
Q. Please help me. Today, I'm so, so miserable about everything. Call it an off-day if you must, but whatever it is, it's dragging me WAAAY down. It's just over 3 months since my girlfriend and first love broke up with me, due to (as she claims) ...
A. 29 September 2007: You're right Brooke, I have heard that a lot, but yours was a very honest and true answer. Thank you very much for your insite! xx... (read in full...)
I want to know how to make my boyfriend fall back in love with me with in a day!
Q. i want to know how to make my boyfriend fall back in love with me with in a day because he started being friends with this other girl and they went out about three to four times and he said its my fault because we are always fighting so please let ...
A. 26 September 2007: I agree with Basschick, but would like to add that; maybe you should be a little more realistic. Love takes time, and it isn't something you can force on people. To expect somebody to start loving you again within a day isn't a reasonable target. In ... (read in full...)
She thinks I've made a big mistake, and now I think she's gone off me! I don't want to lose her! Any advice?
Q. I'm currently dating a fantastic girl. Everything was going perfect for ages until she had to do these important exams.. Her mood totally changed around this time. When we were out she was aloof and detached and unaffectionate. I felt it best to ...
A. 23 September 2007: I'm sorry to hear that, my friend. But in the long run, this is probably for the best. Someday you'll find someone who you'll understand a little better, and hopefully, will understand YOU better too.... (read in full...)
Is she still thinking of me....?
Q. Hi, Please let me know something. I am broken up with my girlfriend. We had an intense love, but now we've moved on. It's been 4 months since the breakup, 2 months since last contact. The last contact she said at the end of her e-mail, "I'll be ...
A. 22 September 2007: I sound quite similar to you, my friend. Only my relationship was long distance and lasted only 2 years, and shared many happy moments together. Also, rather like you and your ex, we also shared a holiday in the Carribean. Not a day goes by when I ... (read in full...)
Does no contact really work when trying to get someone back? I'd like to hear some experiences please!
Q. my partner dumped me,and i want her back so im doing the no contact for 2 reasons,1 in the hope that with time to think she may feel differently,and 2 if that fails it will mean im on the way to recovery,my question is has anybody done the no ...
A. 22 September 2007: The answer is; sometimes.
The no contact thing does not guarantee getting somebody you love back. It hasn't worked for me, I'm afraid.... (read in full...)
Are we compatible?
Q. He was born May 4th 1961. I was born on April 30th 1959. Could we be together?...
A. 22 September 2007: Dates have nothing to do with compatibility. If you are compatible it will be through liking eachothers personalities, and through being attracted to eachother. Dates of birth have NOTHING to do with it.... (read in full...)
I saw the empty packing, he said he threw the condoms away because the date had expired, but it had not! Does he cheat on me, or I am exaggerating?
Q. Hi, does my boyfriend cheat on me? A while ago I've found some empty packing of condoms in the dirt bin at his house. He said that he threw the condoms away because the date had expired and he wanted to be sure that we would have save sex. I find t...
A. 22 September 2007: Well, you have every right to be suspicious. He clearly has lied to you somewhere here; by telling you they were out of date, when you saw that they weren't.
I think you two need to talk about it. Ask why he lied to you. If he should react an... (read in full...)
She dumped me out of the blue and now refuses to give my stuff back. What do I do?
Q. me and my girlfriend were very very close.on a sunday she told me i was the best,made love and she didn't want me to leave.on the monday i was dumped.that hurt was incredible.she has 2 remaining articles of mine.cassettes.only sentimental value to ...
A. 21 September 2007: That is awfully rude of her to keep what is rightfully yours.
I'm gonna go with Leanne on this one; give her a little time. A couple/few months, let her calm down, clear her head, and then you can ask again. She is obviously pretty confused... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have feelings for a one night stand?
Q. Alright so I'm just wondering if it is normal to have feelings for a one night stand? I know it defeats the purpose of it being a one night thing, but whenever I go with a girl for a night I end up wanting more than just a quick fling. Does th...
A. 21 September 2007: Well, it's not the sort of thing I've ever done, or for that matter, ever even tried to do. But in the recent months, it is something I have considered.
My feelings were brought on by being dumped, and wanted to have a one night stand for... I... (read in full...)
I'm lucky to get sex once a month and even then the deal she makes of it makes me feel dirty, and as a whole I get the impression she appreciates nothing I do...
Q. I'll give a basic outline of how i feel the relationship is going at the moment and then ask the opinion about it: I always put myself out to make sure she is happy, i go round to her place (we live seperately) pretty much all the time, whereas ...
A. 21 September 2007: Well, just to give my opinion since you asked for it, from sounds, I would say there is somebody better suited for you; somebody who will want Sex more often, and somebody who will show appreciation for you a more clearly.
You're young, she's yo... (read in full...)
She thinks I've made a big mistake, and now I think she's gone off me! I don't want to lose her! Any advice?
Q. I'm currently dating a fantastic girl. Everything was going perfect for ages until she had to do these important exams.. Her mood totally changed around this time. When we were out she was aloof and detached and unaffectionate. I felt it best to ...
A. 15 September 2007: I don't think you've really done anything wrong here. If you hadn't acknowledged her at all, I could understand, but you did send her a text. You aren't psychic! You didn't know that she wanted you to ring, and it wouldn't have taken much work for ... (read in full...)
| *ndy00's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ndy00 has
added them and they have added *ndy00!
|
