A
male
age
30-35,
*ndy00
writes:When will my heart heal?I promised myself long before my girlfriend of 2 years split with me that I would never allow myself to become depressed... But I think that is what's happening, and it just doesn't seem right.It's been almost 3 1/2 months since she broke up with me after long distance became too much to bear (she says). We met up 13 times over 2 years, and shared some wonderful moments together.And now I don't know what to do. I did all I could to be the perfect guy for her, and in the end I still lost her. Once more, it feels more like my loss than hers, and a lot of people have told me that it should be the other way around after everything I did for her.I'm very lonely at the moment. Not only is she more or less out of my life, but so are all my friends who used to live close by. They have all gone to University, as she did. All my current friends I never see outside of college because they live far from me.I don't know why I feel this way. I don't feel happy, I don't feel loved, I don't feel attractive. I feel like I'm nothing.^^^^ This is exactly what I swore to myself I wouldn't become. And look at me now. She is off at University having a great time, meeting new friends, probably NEW GUYS. And here I am, in the same life I had before only without any girlfriend or any of my old companions.After losing what we had, I think she should be feeling this instead of me. I was great for her, and yet she's had the easy escape route of starting a new, exciting, happy life. I'm abandoned.I thought time would heal me. In some ways it has, but in other ways, it has just made me miserable. I feel like I've lost it all.Am I depressed? Can anyone help me? Or is this my life from now on.
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broke up, depressed, long distance, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Briony +, writes (10 October 2007):
 I know exactly how you feel. You just have to be careful that you don't have too many of 'those days'. My ex and i split after the distance became too much, and i don't start uni until February. If you feel yourself thinking about things that make you feel sad then try and distract yourself. I find that getting lost in a good book helps. Like others have said it takes time for your heart to heal. And in that time why not go out and meet new people, i'm sure that not everyone has gone to uni and left you, hang out with them for a while and see how things go.
good luck.
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (10 October 2007):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your help everybody. I guess it's just been one of them days. Recently I've been so easilly dragged into this state, and I really don't like it. I will try to take your advice for the good of myself... I still really miss my ex though. Feels like I won't find another her, but then, coming from an 18 year old, that might sound a little silly.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (9 October 2007):
 First of all i just have to give you some *hugs* life does get better we all have ups and downs and sometimes they all happen at once and you think it sucks but then something great will happen and life will get better, relationships end it happens and if we all wasted our lives wandering why it happend why us nobody would be happy, life gets better dont give up hope.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 I think you are battling some form of mild depression, which is common after a break up. Since your ex and alot of your friends have all gone of to University, have you considered doing the same, but not necessarily attending the same school she is attending though...? If that is not possible, have you considered taking up a new hobby or sport? What helps most people heal quicker after a break up, is not the mundane aspects of every day life, but throwing yourself into something new. Maybe enrolling in a few college classes will keep your mind so busy, you won't have time to think about her as much. Once you fill up your time you'll be able to channel some of your sadness in a more positive way. Stimulating your mind works wonders on helping you heal. Also, physical energy works well too. Maybe you could simply enroll in some kick-boxing or karate classes and burn off some of your angst, instead of allowing it to overwhelm you every day. It's experiencing things that are new and different that helps your get over things from the past. Also, it might help if you could attend a few counseling sessions, if you can afford them. It'll help you sort out these feelings and feel like you're more in control -- rather than letting them control you. In doing these things, you will rebuild your self-worth, and possbily make new friends, form new relationships, which will help you feel happy and intereseted in life again, and that will ultimately lead you to another lovely lady who will love all the qualities you have.
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A
male
reader, Ozsong +, writes (9 October 2007):
 It does get better, but you have to let it heal. When you least expect it, you will meet someone new who makes your heart bounce. Believe me, My wife of 17 years left my daughters and I for another guy in another country, we lost an entire family (grand parents, uncles aunts, in laws), it takes time to get over it, it will always be there, but it does get better.
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