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Why should you listen to my advice?: If I give you it, it means I probably have experience with the situation/problem you're having
Location: Oxford - UK
Currently: Single
Profile updated: 27th of March 2011
I'm Andy. I'm something of a sentimentalist. I consider myself to be romantic and affectionate
I first found my way to Dearcupid after my first dose of heartbreak. I was in a long distance relationship (240 miles) for over two years from 2005 - 2007. I met my girlfriend originally in December 2004 over the website Habbo Hotel, she found me purely because she liked my hair (I had an Afro at the time!). We ended up talking every night over MSN. By April, she revealed that she liked me, and very soon after, I decided I felt the same way.
On the 10th of July 2005, we met in her home town. I remember getting off the train, and she was stood right down the other end of the platform, and ran towards me like something out of a movie. I threw my bags down, and she dove into my arms for the first time. Later that day, after 3 hours of being crowded by her sister and mum, we got our first minutes alone, and kissed for the first time. In my case, it was my first kiss ever. It was magic.
We met up on 13 different occaisions, including a couple of camping trips alone together as well as a holiday to Cuba as late as April 2007. Then everything changed.
On the 25th of June, just over 2 weeks before the anniversary of the day that we met on that Summers day at the train station, 5 weeks before we were scheduled to meet up again; She rang me up in tears and told me that she thought we should end things. I was completely devastated. She told me her decision came due to the fact that she didn't think we would have as much time to meet up when she went to University, and that things were hard enough as they were. Also, we had argued over stupid things a little more regularly, but I didn't think it was any thing worse than what all couples encounter. I hadn't fallen out of love with her, but she now expected me to do so and become just a friend. By breaking up with me, as of that day, I had pretty much lost my best friend in all the world, and it wouldn't take long before it was clear that I couldn't handle the transition from boyfriend to friend.
Instead of talking every night, we went back and forth from talking to not talking. Anytime I spoke to her, after a few days I would start to miss her, and even cry over her. Her father died of liver problems less than 6 months after we broke up. After he passed, me and her spoke for a couple of nights, and I told her that I would try and support her like a friend should during that time of sadness, but it didn't take long for me to start avoiding her again. I felt really guilty for that. She wanted to be my friend, and I wanted to be more than her friend. I was crushed by what she had put me through. It always stuck with me when we spoke for the last time. It was about 2 months after her dad died. She told me "I feel like I've lost so much already, I don't want to lose you as a friend." And as much as it kills me, she did. We haven't spoken since... and to this day I still feel guilty, though I have come to accept that I had to protect myself from being hurt further.
I can honestly say that that experience has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. But we're 5 years on from when we met each other and I have since found love and lost love again, twice in fact! My 2nd love showed me that I am capable of loving others and having meaningful relationships. The 3rd one has shown me how to be happy without having someone in my life. In truth, I have never really been happy within myself since my first love left me. I felt like I needed somebody in order to be happy. It's a shame that I have had to go through heartbreak to learn that, but for the time being I feel a great deal better about myself and even feel like I can maintain a friendship with my ex's... Maybe even my first love in time.
Throughout this whole experience, I have found out that pain only make you stronger, the first cut is the deepest and time really does heal all wounds.
Cheers for reading, and may this be an encouragement to everyone else out there who has experienced heartbreak! Things really will get better for you one day, you have to believe! |
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| Latest articles: The Last Laugh... Is it really on me? ;)
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hi, it's Andy00. I just thought I would share something with all of you. As you all know, I went through a horrible case of heartbreak 10 months ago, after my distance relationship was cut off by the girl I love (it still hurts to this day). But h...
1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2008: Hi everyone. This is my second article. I just felt the need to tell the story of some occurrences that took place a year ago from today, where me, my family and my beloved girlfriend took a trip together across the atlantic ocean to Cuba. To s...
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 February 2008: Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
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1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
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A. 23 April 2009: Wow... I don't know if either of you are still around, but you were right. This year it didn't even cross my mind that it has been over 2 years since that holiday. It has only just occurred to me while I re-read this article. I guess this is further ... (read in full...)
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Has anyone else ever sent naughty pictures to anyone???
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I think what you're feeling is normal. There is a thrill in doing something like that, but also a feeling of worry and regret. Lets face it, after a while you never know whe... (read in full...)
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... (read in full...)
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I've read that my first love is in a relationship. We broke up a year and a half ago... Why am I so upset??
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Q. My Question is: Should I break up with someone because of long distance? I've been seeing a guy for nearly a year now, but we're long distance. At first it wasn't so bad because we were between cities, but now it's across continents. I ha...
A. 11 October 2008: Hi there. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. When it ended, it broke my heart. For over a year after the break up, I still felt hurt by it not working. However, after a period of time, I took a look at the situation on a whole. While ... (read in full...)
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I consider him the villain but I know she's not innocent! How can I forgive her and move past this?
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A. 8 September 2008: Well, I went round to her house last night. We had a lovely evening together. It seemed no different from when before all this occurred. We watched some stand-up comedy, she made pizza and Garlic bread, she gave me a card and some presents that ... (read in full...)
I consider him the villain but I know she's not innocent! How can I forgive her and move past this?
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My BF doesn't work and is immature, the new guy is a drug dealer. Who do I choose?
Q. ok i got a problem...ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year and i love him to death, but he dont work he is kinda immatuire and we fight about stupid things...well i met this other guy he is so sweet to me he is all i think about he does everything ...
A. 30 June 2008: It's clear that you find major faults with both guys. So why should you choose between the two? You have two low-life's in your life currently. Why not wait for a guy who shares the same qualities of BOTH guys, AND has a (legal) occupation?
Don't... (read in full...)
My brother and his girlfriend had a baby. I want one so much...
Q. ok my brother and his girl just had a baby and i love her dearly and i want one but you see im only 13 and they live far away so i dont get to see her that much and i really want one what should i do ...
A. 30 June 2008: Given your age, it's understandable why you feel the way you do. But you must remember that you are not the one that has to look after the baby every hour of every day. You're just the young aunt. All you have to do is hold and play with it for as ... (read in full...)
I've missed coursework deadlines and now I'm worried my overall grade may suffer. How can I calm myself down??
Q. Hello all. This may not be a relationship question, but I could really use your advice. All of my college assignments must be handed in by Monday afternoon. I have been a good student. I've put a lot of effort into my work over the past 2 years...
A. 14 June 2008: I did eventually get to sleep last night. These answers were a nice thing to wake up to. If I had time maybe I'd go to a remedy store, but I'm short of it as you know. Still, a very good suggestion.
I will just have to wait and see what happens ... (read in full...)
The Last Laugh... Is it really on me? ;)
Q. Hi, it's Andy00. I just thought I would share something with all of you. As you all know, I went through a horrible case of heartbreak 10 months ago, after my distance relationship was cut off by the girl I love (it still hurts to this day). But h...
A. 23 April 2008: Just wanted to thank you all for your kind comments. It makes me proud that people are enjoying my work :)... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: New feature, "watched questions" list
Q. I've added a new feature that lets you add questions to your "watched questions" page. It's just an easy way to make a list of questions that interest you and that you want to keep track of. It's easy to remove items from the list or clear it. ...
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How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 15 April 2008: "I know what your going through"
...I'm better now. Lol! It was 4 months ago. But in all seriousness, I will keep your advice in mind for the future. Cheers!... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Over half a million visitors in March!
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A. 4 April 2008: Excellent statistic. Congratz!... (read in full...)
Here's a question for the men... can you ever see yourselves settling down with just ONE woman???
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months, and it's become a bit serious in the past 2 or 3. We see each other every night and make love all the time. We have said "I love you" and he's even starting talking about me being "the one"- like the one ...
A. 30 March 2008: I'm sorry to say this, but the man is a fool. What he said, to you especially, was horrible. He's shown you signs that he believes that all men cheat, and that of course includes him. Whether those are his beliefs or not, it isn't true, but I think ... (read in full...)
I need a boyfriend and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hey I am 13 and I have never had a boyfriend. I don't know what to do. Please help me....
A. 25 March 2008: Ahhh, wishing for partnership. I know that feeling!
I was like you. Perhaps even a little older than you when I first felt like that. At 15 certainly I would have given anything to have been in a relationship. I had never been in one. I didn't h... (read in full...)
What's 'cowgirl' please?
Q. Hi, Just a quick question.....What's cowgirl position? Is it like "French carriage to Lyon" due to the bumpy road which lead from Paris to Lyon. Anyway......I dare say I've just realised that I've become old...........thank you all. ...
A. 25 March 2008: Uncle Phil is quite right. "Cowgirl" is when the woman is on top, facing the man, and on her knees. There is also "Reverse Cowgirl" which is the same thing, only the woman faces the other way.... (read in full...)
Do you think he's gross to like me?
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl, well I'm almost 14. Recently since I've been on msn, someone added me on their list. I accepted them because I might know the person. I asked them who they were. He said his name and that he was 26. I told him I was 13. Don't ...
A. 25 March 2008: Personally, I do. If you were older, say, if you were say; 22 and this guy was 35 maybe this would be acceptable, but given that you're only 13 and he's double your age, this guy should be avoided. Be friends with him online by all means, but I urge ... (read in full...)
Why do guys break up with their girlfriends once they are comfortable?
Q. hello guys. I have always wondered why men always break up with their girlfriends once they get settled into a relationship. I'd like guys view on this....
A. 22 March 2008: Yes, that is probably true to some extent. Some guys do get bored with relationships, or they don't want to get tied down. Personally, I would love to find myself in a "settled" relationship again, and if I did, I certainly wouldn't be the sort to ... (read in full...)
1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
Q. Hi everyone. This is my second article. I just felt the need to tell the story of some occurrences that took place a year ago from today, where me, my family and my beloved girlfriend took a trip together across the atlantic ocean to Cuba. To s...
A. 22 March 2008: Oh man! More coincidences: When I woke up this morning and it was snowing! TYPICAL!! It never snows here, and yet, one year to the day, I wake up to a snow shower. Unbelievable.... (read in full...)
1 Year since the holiday of a lifetime - 3 months before life as I knew it came to an end
Q. Hi everyone. This is my second article. I just felt the need to tell the story of some occurrences that took place a year ago from today, where me, my family and my beloved girlfriend took a trip together across the atlantic ocean to Cuba. To s...
A. 22 March 2008: Thank-you.
I guess sometimes things simply aren't meant to be. Unfortunately, that won't be much comfort when I go to my empty bed tonight. Atleast I've gotten used to that.... (read in full...)
My first love cheated on me and then dumped me... I'm so clueless!
Q. I really don't know what to do...My ex boyfriend cheated on me 3 times and then dumped me. He was the first guy I have been in love with and it has been 5 months since we broke up and I am still not over him and I constantly think about him, I ...
A. 17 March 2008: My strong advice would be; don't give up on guys. A guy wouldn't be good for you at this specific moment in time, but don't let one bad experience make you give up on guys altogether.
First love or not, I'm afraid he was a bad apple. I understa... (read in full...)
Unique appearance vs. Attracting women
Q. Unique appearance vs. Attracting women. Is this why I can't get a girlfriend? Hi. Most of you by now will have seen my avatar. I have an afro. I like my hair. I feel like it adds more to my character. Unfortunately, I don't feel attr...
A. 16 March 2008: Well, this has given me a slightly more positive outlook. Thank-you.
After all that has been said here, it's reassurance that I will find somebody who will like my hair again. But another girl who I'll love as much as my ex still feels like a w... (read in full...)
He's not affectionate and I love it! I want more and he's pulling away..what can we do?
Q. Hi hope you all can help as I'm feeling pretty down right now. Basically I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 months. He is wonderful we have the exact same sense of humour, similar interests, similar tastes, we basically on the outside looking ...
A. 15 March 2008: My ex-girlfriend was the same (Don't think that I'm just saying that to take the spotlight off of unaffectionate guys!). I felt myself showering her with affection all the time, and would rarely get the same thing back. Not even when we spoke on the ... (read in full...)
Unique appearance vs. Attracting women
Q. Unique appearance vs. Attracting women. Is this why I can't get a girlfriend? Hi. Most of you by now will have seen my avatar. I have an afro. I like my hair. I feel like it adds more to my character. Unfortunately, I don't feel attr...
A. 15 March 2008: Another point about why keeping my hair seems almost necessary is that, as a musician in a band, it is good to have something that makes you stand out amongst others. In music, it is very hard to get the attention of the people as there is so much ... (read in full...)
Meeting with my ex's friend for the first time in nearly a year.
Q. Hi everyone. Tomorrow I am going to a university for an interview. This university is located about 50 miles from where I first met my long distance (240 miles) first love at a train station in her home town 3 years ago this summer. She brok...
A. 11 March 2008: It went well, thanks.
After my interview (which went pretty well I think), my dad drove me to where we arranged to meet, and she was already there waiting. After chatting for a little bit, my dad decided we should maybe all go for a drink. I... (read in full...)
Meeting with my ex's friend for the first time in nearly a year.
Q. Hi everyone. Tomorrow I am going to a university for an interview. This university is located about 50 miles from where I first met my long distance (240 miles) first love at a train station in her home town 3 years ago this summer. She brok...
A. 11 March 2008: Well, I'm leaving very soon. Thanks anyway.... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 24 February 2008: R&B, I'm sorry. What you're saying is making a lot more sense now that you have explained it a little more. I'm very thankful that you want to help me through this. I hope you will continue to do so. Take care.... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 23 February 2008: Hi rhythmandblues. I do appreciate the words of encouragement, but I think you have misunderstood me in places, as well as assumed things which are false. "I must find a way to stop her" means that I must find a way to stop MYSELF from ruining my ... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 23 February 2008: Gosh, so many people think I'm a great guy. It's a comfort I must say.
Do you really think I've gotten better in the past 8 months? (it'll be 8 months on monday. She broke up with me on a monday). I've not contacted her for about a week now. Whe... (read in full...)
Why do long term relationships end?
Q. Hello, Andy00 here. First, I want to suggest that nobody here answer this question if they think that they will just be opening up old wounds. Most of you know that my long distance relationship (2 years) disbanded (she dumped me) almost...
A. 22 February 2008: I should explain, because I think some of you... Danielepew atleast, misunderstand me. "I have since been with somebody new, but only for a very short time". This is because we broke up. It only lasted 3 weeks.
To everyone who calls me a thinker,... (read in full...)
I can't get the fact that she went to a 'naked party' out of my head.
Q. I'm having a real problem getting my girlfriend's past out of my head. I know there have been some other questions like this on the board, but nothing that really matches. Basically, I've been dating a wonderful woman for three months. She's am...
A. 21 February 2008: I sort of know what you mean, but there is a key difference between you and myself: You're still with her!! A few months or so after my ex broke up with me, I found out she had played strip poker with a bunch of people (guys included) within WEEKS ... (read in full...)
My relationship, its end, and the 7 months of confusion and hurt... that made me stronger.
Q. Hello everybody, this is Andy00. And to all fans who like long articles, this one is a treat for you... Unfortunately, it's a true story. I have been on this site for about 7 months now. I have posted many, many questions over time, but...
A. 12 February 2008: I'd like to thank both of you or your support.
anon e mouse, I will look back at your article it I need something to put things into perspective for me, and eyeswideopen, I just want to thank you for your continued support. It's something you have... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 20 December 2007: Well, that's it. It's over. I've done it.
It was okay apparently. I know I messed up a few times, but my mistakes were more instrumental than vocal. I've yet to watch the tape back, but I'll judge it for myself, and maybe upload it for all of y... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 20 December 2007: Thanks for the continued advice, but I'm freaking out just now. It's nearly 20 minutes to 3am, and I can't sleep because (guess what!) I'M COUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY!! What the hell is going on? I've felt way better today, and the night has brought me ... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi everyone, so tomorrow is the night!
I've felt my voice returning quite rapidly over these past couple of days. I'm hoping it will be fine for my performance tomorrow! Not completely healed, but in decent enough condition. I still can't hit cert... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 17 December 2007: Richard, no offense, but it's a bit late for that, don't you think? lol. We perform in 2 days, and we have no practice sessions left. It's do or die, I'm afraid.... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 17 December 2007: I'd just like to thank everybody for the advice. I have taken to sipping from a jar of Honey occasionally (which feels about as disgusting as it sounds) and that's helping. I'm also taking cough syrup and nurofen, along with having about a pack of ... (read in full...)
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