Should it bother me that my boyfriend still speaks to former sexual partners?
Q. The title question should sum it up nicely, but I guess I'll go ahead and tell a little more depth. While I'm still a virgin, my boyfriend is about a year younger than me, and has had three sexual partners. It doesn't bother me that he's not a ...
A. 4 October 2008: Sounds like these women are his "back up plan" for when things are not going well between the two of you, or he's feeling horny. Men only remain "close" friends with an ex for the sex. In my opinion, there is no place for an ex in the present ... (read in full...)
What is this stuff material around my clit, after sex?
Q. sometimes after i have sex and dnt shower after.. ( which is not often i do btw) i get this white stuff around my clit what is this? it goes away after i shower and its fien. it doesnt hurt or anythin. Please help x...
A. 4 October 2008: It's called SMEGMA (that's the abbreviated version for the very lengthy complicated name physician's actually give it) The bottom line is this; it's harmless and it just means you need to clean inside the folds of your clit more thoroughly. Try ... (read in full...)
How do I tell her to improve her hygiene?
Q. Hi, I have a problem wich is kinda acward... My GF´S... Private part smells realy bad and when im "downstairs", shure i can make it, I made it once but its realy a anticlimax, I cant tell her or suggest she could be a little "cleaner" its just... I ...
A. 4 October 2008: Let's assume she's not suffering from an STD, which can cause a very smelly discharge in the nether region. Because if that's the problem, then she'll need an antibiotic to clear it up (and so will you). But putting that aside, some women have been ... (read in full...)
Why don't my parents love each other like they should?
Q. Help! My family life seems to be going down the drain. My parents have never showed any affection towards each other, not setting a good example for me or my little brother, both of us starting to date. They argue a lot, 16 years of it. My dad has a ...
A. 11 February 2008: Ask them. Maybe it'll help them see themselves the way you see them. You should schedule a family night meeting and tell him how their behavior is affecting you and your brother and ask them to tell you why they treat each other so bad? Maybe ... (read in full...)
How can he say he loves me when he behaves like this?
Q. My husband has damaged our relationship, we have been married for 30 years, recently I discovered he had been watching porn and masturbating to it, he said he would stop and that it was probably due to boredom having been together for so long. Then ...
A. 24 January 2008: You are in a no-win situation because he refuses to get help for his addiction, instead acting like it's your problem. You could fight fire-with-fire. If it were me, I'd start spending alot more time looking at other men, and be open about your ... (read in full...)
How do I handle competition?
Q. I love someone. He loves someone else. She's beautiful. And I've just found out that she has an an amazing voice too. How am i meant to take his attention away from her? She's just using him. I don't want to see him hurt, not again....
A. 23 January 2008: Just wait and be patient. If she's just using him, as you say, then she will grow tired of him and move on to someone else who will bask in her glory. When she does, you'll be there to "pick up the pieces" and perhaps he'll start to see you as ... (read in full...)
I do not have a driver's license yet, thus feel a bit embarassed. Is this a huge deal?
Q. Im almost 30yr old. And Im terrified of driving. So therefore I still haven't obtained my drivers license. Now is this a huge deal breaker for men ??? I don't lie about it but at the same time Im a little ashamed at times so I don't bring it up ti...
A. 23 January 2008: If you signed up for driving classes you'd probably realize it's not so bad afterall. In fact, you may actually like the freedom and independence that comes with being able to go where you want, when you want etc. I think it's time for you to take ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for yrs, my kids love him, my parents love him, but I am not attracted to him - but to someone from my past who came back.
Q. I have been dating a guy for 3 years...my kids love him, my parents love him but really I am not attracted to him...someone from my past has come back into my life and has swept me off my feet....I had doubts about my feelings for my boyfriend ...
A. 8 November 2007: I once married a guy that I wasn't all that attracted to, but I was only 19 years old. If you don't think you are attracted to your b/f why did you start going out with him to begin with? And why have you managed to last 3 years if there was no ... (read in full...)
They split over a year ago, but he's still close w/ his cheating ex! What can I do about my jealousy?
Q. my bf txts his ex constantly. She is a solicitor and helped him gain access to see his son at wkends. i spoke to him and how it makes me feel insecure, her txting him every day and him itching to reply, but waiting till i'm out of the room to do it. ...
A. 18 October 2007: Her texting him maybe once every couple of months, to see how him and his son are doing might be okay. But every day? That's extreme. That's obsessive. That's what I'd call, a man who is not over his ex. Since she cheated on him, she left him ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and shy. I'm too young for bars, so can anyone recommend where I can got to meet women?
Q. Hi there i'm 17 year old male looking for a raltionship... the problem is as i'm only 17 i can't go to bars to meet women. I'm a really shy guy so i was wondering if anyone could recommend any places i can meet girls? also i have a full time job wo...
A. 17 October 2007: At your age you should be able to meet women who work at the same place you do. Or attend the same university you do. If you don't go to college, you might want to consider it -- it will help you achieve a better job down the road, plus it's a ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married and recently started an affair. Is this so wrong?
Q. I am unhappily married and i think it is too late. i recently started an affair with a man from my past who is also married. he blows hot and cold. i think we are soul mates and believe i am falling in love. i would be quite happy to stay in my ...
A. 17 October 2007: Affairs never really solve anything, they just make bigger messes of people's lives and families and leave you with tremendous guilt. Considering what you've already been through with your husband, it sounds like it may be time to file for divorce ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me...What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me the day before we had been together for 7 months. [a couple weeks ago] He brought this girl home and kissed her then within 5 minutes was at my house kissing me again. He did not tell me. His 13 year old sister just told...
A. 17 October 2007: You should cut him loose. Men seldom can be faithful at 30 years old, much less at his age. He's too young and immature to devote himself to just one gal. There will be time for that later in your life. It's time to move on.... (read in full...)
Why does my daughter accept his behaviour?
Q. I have a 17 year old daughter who has an very controlling, jealous boyfriend. He left for college and is still controlling her. He tells her where she can work, go, who she can hang out with and even what she can/can't wear sometimes. No one in ...
A. 17 October 2007: Instead of telling her how you feel about her b/f why not take her out to lunch sometime and talk to her woman to woman and simply ask her how she feels about her b/f? How does she feel when he gets jealous, or tells her what to do? Ask her if ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he be the one getting therapy, since he caused the marital problems? Who is in a denial here? Does therapy work? He said it'd be better if I didn't dig back to our issues...
Q. Am I losing my mind. I am so unhappy in my relationship that the only way to keep peace and not to bring up stuff from the past that affects our immediate future is to talk to people with more marital problems than i have and help them solve theirs. ...
A. 17 October 2007: I think you both need couples counseling to understand what's going on in your sex life. It's highly unusualy for a healthy man in this 30's or 40's to only want sex once a month, unless he's depressed, having an affair, or taking some kind of ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks I'm cheating because she wants me to stop this female friend from calling me.
Q. my girlfriend thinks i'm cheating because she wants me to stop another female friend of mine from calling but i said no. How do i convince her i'm not cheating? ...
A. 17 October 2007: Why are you so set on letting another woman come between what you and your g/f have together? And what makes you so sure your so-called female friend isn't trying to cause interference by calling you when she knows you're in a committed ... (read in full...)
I feel I am being used
Q. i have a really attractive boyfriend and he always flirts with other girls. everyone seems to fancy him and he likes it. i have been with him for 2 years and i love him like mad but it seems like he would rather be wit other girls than me.all we ...
A. 17 October 2007: You and your b/f are really both too young to expect that your relationship is going to be permanent or serious. Yes, I think he is using you for sex. Do yourself a favor, and cut him loose. And wait until you're much older before you allow ... (read in full...)
Am I losing the baby?
Q. i found out i was pregnant about a week ago. i started spotting very lightly yesterday. could this mean im having a miscarriage? i have not had any alcoholic beverages since i have found out but i have had a couple cigarettes (i know, im horrible! ...
A. 17 October 2007: Go see your physician. Some spotting is normal during pregnancy, especially at the beginning because your uterus is stretching and there is some breakage of small blood vessels during the process. But if the amount of blood is heavier, it could ... (read in full...)
Rape victim wants to be thought as virgin
Q. Hey. When I Was 13 I Was Raped By A Guy And His Friends 3 Times And I Didnt Tell AnyyOne About It Although I Wish I Had Of Doe But Its Too Late Now. Well Any Wayy When Me And My Friends Are Talking About Boyfriends And Stuff At School They Alwa...
A. 17 October 2007: You are dealing with two problems. Number one, your friends are teasing you about sleeping with your b/f (mainly because they're hoping you'll cough up the details in some sort of juicy story) but this is no one's business but yours. So tell them ... (read in full...)
Something's wrong with me cuz I dumped a loser?
Q. What do you guys think of a 29 year old guy thta lives with his mom and dad, doesn't lift a finger to help his mom around the house who works midnights in a nursing home and is in her 60's, does not work and has not worked in 1.5 years, says ...
A. 17 October 2007: Nope, there's not a thing wrong with you. He's not normal and he will never find a normal, loving woman to spend his life with because he is indeed, a loser. Stay on your path, and keep avoiding him. Contact the police if he becomes threatening ... (read in full...)
I don't understand his language
Q. If a man simply cannot say "I love you" is it possible that he replaces these words with another phrase, such as "It's suppose to rain today so drive carefully."? My guy says this or something similar whenever I tell him I miss him, or I love him or ...
A. 17 October 2007: Men are perfectly capable of telling a women they love them -- when they do. Perhaps he's just not sure yet so he doesn't want to rush into saying something until he's sure. You don't really say how long you've been together but if the ... (read in full...)
I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should... but I'm worried he'll talk me into staying
Q. I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should. We had grown apart, and I felt no physical attraction for him anymore. But I didn't rush into divorce either because my husband insisted that I wait, hoping ...
A. 17 October 2007: Here's a question I have, how do you deal with a loss of physical/sexual attraction? I've been with my husband 15 yrs. and no longer feel attracted to him. I've read books and listened to cd's about how to heal your marriage, how to fix what ails ... (read in full...)
It's been a couple of days since she said she'd call and no sign of her! Is she playing the "not wanting to seem too eager" game ?
Q. Hi, I met this awesome girl who works at at restaurant about 3 months ago. At that time I had a girlfriend who she met when we cam in to eat. I have now been single for a couple of months and decided to roust up the courage to ask for her number. ...
A. 3 October 2007: No, it doesn't sound like she's playing games to me. It sounds like she had to end up working on a night you had originally planned to go out. Maybe someone called in sick and she had to pull and extra shift. She invited you to come see her that ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF keep his exes on his computer?
Q. hellllllllp!!!i was looking through my mans computer nd found loads of pictures of other girls we go to college with, with the captions 'fit' and 'oooooh'. i also found some of him and his ex girlfriend called 'me and my baby'. iv been with him 6 ...
A. 3 October 2007: Are you kidding me? Men in their 40's don't delete pictures of their exes, why would a guy who's 18-21? He's still in his prime and probably enjoys knowing he's had so many women already. Maybe you could ask him to move them to a thumb drive, or ... (read in full...)
I am shorter than average, and my sisters upset me by hiding my things in places I can't reach. How do I handle it?
Q. I am a shorter than average person,i am 4'11 tall or not so tall.My problem is that my 2 sisters are very abusive to me and i am the older one.This has always been going on especially while growing up.My 2 sisters are 5'8 and 5'9 tall.When my ...
A. 28 September 2007: Buy a step-stool. And by the way, on your post it shows your age to be 41-50 years old. Surely you don't still live at home with your sisters at this age? I'm confused....
... (read in full...)
I think my bf has been hanging out with my ex! It's weird, b/c when I introduced them they didn't get along! This is so odd! What do I do?
Q. Last week a friend of mine told me that my boyfriend has been spending time with my ex-b/f. I asked her if it was true, and she said, yes, she'd seen it several times during the week. I've only introduced my boyfriend to him once, and they ...
A. 28 September 2007: Is he gay?... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea when we marry to have our own bank accounts and have a joint account intended for all of our household budgets/emergency purposes?
Q. im in a relationship for a year now, my bf is great, he is intelligent and very responsible. One night while we're having dinner in a restaurant by the beach we've talked about bank accounts, anyway were both had a good salary from our works. the ...
A. 28 September 2007: I agree. It helps neither of you to feel "dependent" on the other for minor purchases, such a shoes or clothes or cosmetics. If you put ALL your money into a joint account, then one of you has to manage all the money, and the other one will start ... (read in full...)
He misunderstood what I said, and became rather distant. What should I do so that he will meet me when I travel to B next month?
Q. I have known a guy since November 2004 during my trip to Michigan through a friend. He texted me everyday. As he stayed in Michigan and I was in New York, we could not see each other but only communicate through sms or he will call me once a week. ...
A. 28 September 2007: From now on, say what you mean, and mean what you say. You're sending mixed, and confusing messages and I think he backed off because he doesn't really know what you want. You are keeping him at arms distance for your own reasons, more than likely ... (read in full...)
In love with my soon to be husband, but can't push away the feelings of lust for other men...
Q. normally i am the one giving the advice but the tables have turned. i love my man and we are getting married next year and i cant wait but i am lusting after other men. i have 2 really close friends who have said that they love me and if anything ...
A. 28 September 2007: Don't get married anytime soon. You have to know the person you're marrying is the ONLY one for you. If you're having thoughts or fantasies for other men, you need to wait. Good luck.... (read in full...)
My ex keeps harassing me, even though I'm married now. He was also aggresive to my husband. What to do?
Q. My ex keeps harassing me. We broke up 2 years ago, and I am married and have 2 kids now. He treated me like absolute dirt, he hit me, mentally abused me, he wouldn't work, he lied all the time. I gave him 5 years of chances and then I had it ...
A. 28 September 2007: I agree with rcn! Take legal action and make sure the authorities are on alert to his psycho behavior. I think he's OBSESSED and I am concerned about the safety of you and your family. If you get the chance to move, please make sure you have your ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mom I'm not a virgin without freaking her out?
Q. how do u tell your mom who is a massive freaking out person that there 15year old daughter isnt a virgin?...
A. 28 September 2007: I wouldn't tell her. She doesn't need to know. Part of being an adult is knowing when to open your mouth, and when to keep it closed. Once you cross that line and start having sex, it's your business and no one else's. Only a child kisses and ... (read in full...)
My ex has started speaking to me again, and I'm replying to her. But am I just headed for MORE heartache?
Q. My question is this: My ex has started speaking to me again, and I'm replying. But am I just headed for more heartache? I posted a question just yesterday telling how miserable I was (Because yesterday, I really was miserable over the situation...
A. 28 September 2007: Did you call her?....Or did she call you?....If she's the one who called you, then I'd say she might still be thinking about you and may have feelings for you and now that she's situated in college, her thoughts have turned you because she may be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always wakes me up when he is horny. Is this normal?
Q. my bf always wakes me up when he is horny is this normal ?? ...
A. 21 September 2007: Consider yourself lucky that he turns to you for his sexual pleasure. He could just get up in the middle of the night and go masterbate, but frankly lost sleep and all, I'd rather be the one getting him off.... (read in full...)
We're not married but have been together for 20 years. How do I tell him I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him?
Q. I have been with my partner for 20 years, we are not married but have two lovely teenage daughters. How do I tell him I no longer love him enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him?...
A. 21 September 2007: You simply tell him gently, and as honestly as you can. I myself moved out of the home I shared with my man for 20 years in an effort to help him prepare for the possibility of divorce. He still hasn't adjusted, but I have. And I've met someone ... (read in full...)
Why don't I seem to truly like myself, although am aware of my qualities?
Q. Everything about me seems to link to a high level of insecurities and a low level of self esteem. I am unassertive, try overly hard to please others, constantly look for reassurance from males, and i let people walk all over me. However desp...
A. 21 September 2007: It could be connected to your relationship with your Dad, but it's different for every woman. For me, I had a really good relationship with my Dad, and he was very affectionate and involved in my life, but I was such an ugly-duckling when I was ... (read in full...)
Do I follow my head or my heart?
Q. Hi Do I follow my head or my heart? I am with a girl, and do like her, things have been slow since weve been away from uni for the summer hols. I think we get on ok and will have some good times to come, but I don't see if going too far to be...
A. 21 September 2007: My advise is, never settle for "comfortable" when you can have "exciting". If there aren't many sparks with the first girl you mentioned, but you have stronger sexual or attraction feelings for the 2nd girl, then it's the 2nd girl you should be ... (read in full...)
My wife is always putting me down. Sometimes I hate her, But I love her, if that makes sense. What can I do?
Q. ok here you go: I am married with children. Love my kids to death. I love my wife, but not as a wife. That may sound confusing, but let me explain. She is not a nice person at all, she constantly downs me and talks to me like I'm meaningless...
A. 18 September 2007: Well don't die, that won't solve anything and it will leave your kids devastated. I assume you've talked to your wife about her abusive behavior and to no avail? I'm wondering if she'd consider entering into couple's counseling? If not, I would ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship but I keep having dreams of someone I knew 20 yrs ago! Why is this happening?
Q. I am in a commited relationship. yet i keep having dreams of someone i knew about 20 years ago. At the time i was too young for him. Then we moved away. So i have not seen him in 20 years. why am i having these dreams now?...
A. 17 September 2007: Maybe it's God's way of putting them on your mind because they are going through some trials and hardships right now and maybe you need to be the guardian angel that is praying for them to get through whatever it could be. I always think things ... (read in full...)
I'm begining to think he doesn't find me attractive anymore. He seems to prefer girls on tv!
Q. please help, i moved in with my boyfriend about one month ago.we have been dating for four years now our sex life has been great.i wen't ot bed the other night and he was still up. well i got up to go to the bathroom and found him masterbating, to a ...
A. 17 September 2007: Think about the way some of these girls look. How do you compare? It could be that he was initially attracted to you because he didn't want to be alone. Maybe you were stable, funny, sweet. Maybe it wasn't based on his attraction for you at all. ... (read in full...)
A guy in my dorm says his body is mine to explore, no commitments. What does that mean?
Q. I am in college and just met a guy two weeks ago who lives two doors down from me in my dorm. We have gotten pretty close in the past two weeks with great conversations and I even started giving him back rubs. I have to admit that at I really like ...
A. 17 September 2007: Then you probably need to tell him this before things get more physical and emotional. And maybe spend less time with him if you can. He's obviously attracted to you, and interested in having sex. If you're not feeling the same way, then you need ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to know my every move and who I've been talking to. Is this normal???
Q. My girlfriend and I of 9 months have recently moved in together. She feels as if I am lying to her if I don't tell her EVERYTHING I do. From who I talk to, to emailing an accquaintance to who I had lunch with. Am I in the wrong for feeling ...
A. 17 September 2007: There must be something fueling her suspicions. It could be that in the past, she's been hurt by an unfaithful mate and she's looking for signs in this relationship so she can bail before she gets her heart dashed to pieces again. It could be ... (read in full...)
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