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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 9 February 2013: Tbh, its his choice not mine. If he can afford to spend that amount of money on me then yeah he can.
I haven't told him to nor do I expect him to do something like that, he did it out of the kindness of his hear... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 9 February 2013: The gift is sentimental to me, because it is a cross necklace. The first cross necklace I got was when I was with my aunt, who passed away 3 months ago due to cancer. Since I got that first cross necklace and it unfortunately broke, all the most imp... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 8 February 2013: I won't decline the gift simply because I was offended when he didn't like that hat that I bought him, I couldn't even begin to imagine how annoyed I would be if someone gave me a £120 gift back, not to mention as it was bought online you can't get ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a type... and it's not me?
Q. Hello. I am a lady in desperate need of hearing some truths. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about five years now and we're doing great except for a couple reoccurring issues. Our relationship started in early college and therefore suffer...
A. 8 February 2013: I am not going to criticize your decision as you are in-control in this situation as it is your life. If you feel that getting your breasts done would be a benefit for yourself then go for it. But still you do not need to change for anyon... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 8 February 2013: 2 months, If your unsure about which one please read the bottom part of my bio.
I will admit I didn't ask for anything this expensive, and I did feel very bad about taking it, but it was a nice thought atleast, I gave him the ... (read in full...)
I was about to end things with him and he turned his act around. Now I'm confused.
Q. I am 26 and have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years. I love him a lot, but for the last couple of months I feel like I don't know if I want to be with him anymore but at the same time I can't imagine not being with him either. What should I do? We ...
A. 8 February 2013: Yes it is most likely he sensed a change in you. He probably noticed you weren't as entusastic about things he may of noticed your reluctance to go out with him when your invited to and thought that he might not of been putting as much effort into ... (read in full...)
My sister is ill with a serious mental illness. I want the sister I know to return. How do others cope with a loved one with this illness?
Q. my sister is schizophrenic, in the last two months she has relapsed, she wont talk to me or family. It is hard explaining this to outsiders, but it feels like she is not here anymore (the way she was). You watch soaps, and in soaps where peopl...
A. 8 February 2013: Scizophrenia is a mental illness that really consumes peoples lives.
And by people, I don't just mean the person who it is effecting, I mean the people around that person aswell.
With Sci... (read in full...)
I thought we wanted the same things. But he wants lots of changes. I'm struggling with this. Options? How to deal with this?
Q. There are a ton of HUGE things that are about to change with my husband and I, and I find myself questioning our relationship and whether or not were even compatible anymore. First off, he's telling me that he wants to quit his job and take ano...
A. 8 February 2013: Everyone in life have there own wants and goals starting out from being a child, and as we grow we all feel we need to meet these wants and goals. Being in a relationship is about combaining these wants and goals with someone elses that may be t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a type... and it's not me?
Q. Hello. I am a lady in desperate need of hearing some truths. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about five years now and we're doing great except for a couple reoccurring issues. Our relationship started in early college and therefore suffer...
A. 8 February 2013: This is a very sad story to read simply because you do not realize how badly you are being treated. You even said "I would consider plastic surgery" why? Your proud of yourself aren't you? Why on earth would you want to change for someone who ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep coming back to him for sex when the sex isn't even good?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have known this guy for about 3 years give or take. He's 4 years older than me. Ever since I met him I have had this strong sexual attraction towards him. We first hooked up when I was 18, then the second time when I was 19. I am abo...
A. 8 February 2013: I have had similar problems in the past and been extremely attracted to certain men who really have absolutely nothing going for them, but only in a sexual way. It could really be something in our hormones that make us like this, or maybe them k... (read in full...)
I think there might be a connection, but I don't know.
Q. i have a guy friend that I've known for about a year now and last year we used to hangout in the library with my his friend who was in the same class with me, helping each other with work class during lunchtime, so yesterday he asked me to do ...
A. 1 February 2013: He could just be a really good friend, but then again he could have some kind of feelings for you. Its very hard to tell with bestfriends, sometimes they can just be being nice and other times there could be more. Does he act like this wi... (read in full...)
Why is my teacher suddenly ignoring me?
Q. well there's this teacher, we talk quite often. i kinda favours me just as a student, he'll say hi to me in the corridors, even in lessons he's always giving me positive marks,i think he knows im quite shy naturally. He's married and has two kids, ...
A. 1 February 2013: You must remember. Hes working, hes probably very busy and has lots of other students who he needs to deal with, mark there papers, etc. He might just be having a few rough days at work, or is preocupied. Like I said, you must remember for hi... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at getting this girl?
Q. There is this girl I've had my eye on at school lately. I don't know her on a personal level at all because we've never spoken to each other. However I have another female friend that does know her. I had my friend ask the girl what she thought ...
A. 15 January 2013: In answer to your question. Normally yes, winning people over with your personality is an easy thing to do, considering if you have a nice personality. However it will vary depending on how important looks are to a particular girl.
... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at getting this girl?
Q. There is this girl I've had my eye on at school lately. I don't know her on a personal level at all because we've never spoken to each other. However I have another female friend that does know her. I had my friend ask the girl what she thought ...
A. 13 January 2013: Saying your average isn't necessarily a bad thing. She is just basically saying she doesn't look at you and think "ew omg whos he?" and she doesn't look at you and think "Omg hes so hot" She looks at you and think "Oh just an average guy." ... (read in full...)
Was this 'picking someone up at a bar', or not?
Q. So I just want to know if this is considered picking up a guy from a bar? There is a guy I have met but don't know too well. He is a friend of a friend. I have met him before, sat on the same table and had dinner. On my friend's birthday I hook...
A. 13 January 2013: You met him with your friend and had dinner with him. That isn't picking someone up from a bar. Normally picking someone up from a bar is more like : Going out for a drink, meet a random person you've never met before, and go back and have sex. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend could have cheated, help?
Q. My new boyfriend of one month has basically been accused for cheating on me. What can I say? Thought I might of had a nice one but now I beleive I could be wrong. Basically he wen...
A. 11 January 2013: I did plan to stay single for alot longer than I did, and I do know that I have a tendancy to rush into things. And I guess it is a lesson that I am going to have to learn as I get older.
I do worry about how quickly things progress with me, ... (read in full...)
Self esteem is becoming an issue again. Any advice?
Q. Lately i've started to have real problems with my self esteem. I've always had a very low self esteem and have been working through the last few years trying to improve it, i've had couselling and all sorts, and self esteem has always been a very b...
A. 7 January 2013: Thankyou both for your wise words. I would first like to say considering my new boyfriend...We normally have jokes together and to be perfectly honest I am not entirly innocenct, as the reason why I normally get the bad jokes coming at me is becau... (read in full...)
He expects so much. Gives back nothing. Am I not supposed to feel appreciated by my boyfriend?
Q. Dear cupid My bf of 3 years never appreciates me even for things I do for him. However much I do for him and the lengths I go to do things for him, he just treats as if it's my duty to serve him. Am I not supposed to feel appreciated by my b...
A. 24 December 2012: Sometimes you need to let people stand on there own two feet. People whether it be a boyfriend or not can take advantage of you. There are certain peop... (read in full...)
My relationship's been ruined by my boyfriend taking drugs. Advice?
Q. I've broken up with my first boyfriend of 9 months today for the second time. I lost my virginity to him, he was my first proper love and i planned to have a future with him. We first split up 2 months ago shortly after he...
A. 25 November 2012: Oh i would also like to say, when i first got with him, he didn't need to change, he seemed perfect but i guess that was just a fake persona. 2 or 3 months in was when i started to see what he was truely like, and i know full wel... (read in full...)
My relationship's been ruined by my boyfriend taking drugs. Advice?
Q. I've broken up with my first boyfriend of 9 months today for the second time. I lost my virginity to him, he was my first proper love and i planned to have a future with him. We first split up 2 months ago shortly after he...
A. 25 November 2012: Last night i got a phone call from a bunch of kids i didn't know. They said i needed to get down to the park quickly because Joe had passed out or something.
I couldn't just leave him there, so i went down to help... (read in full...)
He's still with the other girl. I told him I can't be with him if he's still with her. Should I stick to my words?
Q. hey everyone.. i recently started seeing my ex boyfriend again.he has been dating another girl since the breakup he said that things have not been good with them for a long time and that he want's to breakup with her but he doesn't know how to gent...
A. 21 November 2012: Yes of course you should stick to your words! This man is playing you for a fool.
I've been in the same situation with my boyfriend, before i went out with him, he was with another girl, when he confessed he liked me, i said i wo... (read in full...)
What am I? Is what I am feeling a normal part of going through puberty?
Q. ok im 13 going through puberty and i don't know what im going through. I like girls ( I HAVE A GF) but i look at boys sometimes, girls too. Though I only look when im horny. When I'm horny a lot i do masturbate. I look some gay porn pics Now I need...
A. 21 November 2012: Just because you like boys aswell as girls doesn't mean your gay.
I went through the same stage as you, but with girls instead, its a common part of growing up and just discovering who you are.
Its not wrong to be interested in both ... (read in full...)
I suggested he be tested for STD's before I sleep with him and he took offence...
Q. I am a 23 year old virgin and I'm dating a 24 year old guy,the reason I stressed on being a virgin is that I've waited for the right man to come along and I think he has, and I know it will happen soon.. but now I think he's not the one, cuz he took ...
A. 7 November 2012: Luckily when i first had sex we were both virgins, so a test wasn't needed.
However i have always prided myself on trying my best to stay safe, and i had already decided that before i lost my virginity if a man came along who wasn... (read in full...)
If your 15 year old daughter had a boyfriend, how would you react?
Q. Okay, so i am 15, and i want to tell my mom about my boyfriend. If your daughter came to you and told you this, how would you react? How would you want to be told?...
A. 30 October 2012: Just because you have a boyfriend at 15, doesn't mean your going to go ahead and have sex... people can be abit too stereotypical these days. Its best you tell your mum, and don't panic at what everybody is saying, most of ... (read in full...)
If your 15 year old daughter had a boyfriend, how would you react?
Q. Okay, so i am 15, and i want to tell my mom about my boyfriend. If your daughter came to you and told you this, how would you react? How would you want to be told?...
A. 29 October 2012: I got myself a boyfriend when i was 15 years old. I didn't want to tell my mum because i thought she would embrassass me, however she kind of found out anyway. She was very relaxed abo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I smelled bad during oral sex. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend went to eat me out and he said that I "smelled bad" he didn't say it was fishy, just smelled bad. What can I do to fix this? I know I don't have any infections. Is there any soaps, cleansing pads, etc. I could use to fix this? Thanks!...
A. 29 October 2012: Oh and just saw this question after answering the one about not being able to stay wet.
May i say this seems abit strange, that you can't stay wet and you smell abit bad down there.
... (read in full...)
I can't stay wet during sex
Q. I have a problem, I can't stay wet when I have sex. I get really wet before hand then after 5 minutes I get really dry. Help?!...
A. 29 October 2012: Sometimes due to friction. That can happen.
You can dry up and sex can be painful.
ALso if you have alot of breaks during sex, such as if he pulls out for a short period of time this can also cau... (read in full...)
My husband left me for a 19 year old and took our kids with him
Q. I have two children, a 16-year-old son and a 21-year-old daughter. Me and my husband have been married for 20 years now. I'm 42, and he's 45, and recently he left me for a 19-year-old and moved in with her taking the kids. I'd gone out to work one...
A. 29 October 2012: Unfortunately, to do with your children's ages, they are both legally allowed to choose where they live. If they want to stay with their father then they are now entitled to, but from the sounds of it they ... (read in full...)
How do I stop from coming across as clingy?
Q. I'm afraid I come across as a clingy/ desperate person to this guy I'm dating. I don't have much experience and he's aware of this but I still don't want to make some major mistakes and annoy him. He initially asked to meet up and we have had a few ...
A. 29 October 2012: Maybe it's best not to send 2 texts in a row, when dating, as women sometimes play hard to get as always the best way to go about it. If you seem too interested sometimes men can think your handing yourself over on a plate. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my guy that I might be pregnant?
Q. I was with my last boyfriend stuart for 6 months. I have the contraceptive implant and when me and ever since me and stuart broke up we still sleep together. I have miscounted my last period as I bleed everyday and have for a few months. I am ...
A. 29 October 2012: Its unlikely you could be pregnant, when your on the implant, unless you have taking either St. Johns Wart, or anti-biotics that could of affected it. You can easily take a pregnancy test. The impant doesn't make a difference for the outcome. A... (read in full...)
Choosing between 2 men
Q. Who should I choose .... One is attractive, financialy and career stable, more serious about me and the future, loved by my parents, love him but sucks in bed The other is less attractive, less serious, can make plans forever, my family dont like...
A. 29 October 2012: Sex can be joyful, if you spend a bit of time and love on the first one. Some men get to be really good at sex, simply because they have had a women with alot of paitience who have shown them the in and outs of it all. I won't deny, sex is a... (read in full...)
Married user man vs nice guy
Q. Hi, I have been in an affair with a colleague of mine for about 5 months now. He told me he is having a really tough time with his fiance that he has known for 10 years and lived together with. They are separated now and live in different states. ...
A. 29 October 2012: Yes, he's using you for sex. I sn't it obvious? He will say things to you, such as h's going to leave her for you, he would say stuff to you such as he hasn't had sex with her, hes cheating for goodness sake, he will feed you as much rubish as he p... (read in full...)
Who do I believe? My friend? Or the guy?
Q. Sorry in advance, this is probably going to be long. I've been joking up with this guy since July. From the beginning we said it wasn't going to be serious and if either of us wanted it to end we would say it flat out. We got closer over the weeks ...
A. 29 October 2012: You agreed at first to be his ^^^k buddy, that ovbiously meant from the beginging he was planning to simply have sex with you and that was it. In a way you have to take a moment to step back and just think that you did both agree in the begingin... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend really changed?
Q. I have had a rocky 8 months to say the least, with my first ever boyfriend and now i'm just wondering has he really changed? I first met my boyfriend when i went back to school after missing a year, i was sent to learning support ...
A. 28 October 2012: iAmHereToHelpYou- Sorry only have just seen your post. I have been in your position aswell, I have helped him so many times, and so have my family. We let him live here for a week when he was homeless the first time, ... (read in full...)
Contraceptive ideas???
Q. I've been with my bf for close to 3 years now and we've used condoms as a contraceptive. We got tested together and we're both sti free. Im really tired of using condoms, I'd like a different kind of contraceptive. I'm not a fan of the pill either ...
A. 28 October 2012: You could try the contraceptive implant? Its a very effective method and a lot more reliable than the pill. You said you were worried about gaining weight, which unfortunely is a risk with the contraceptive implant, however the difference b... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend really changed?
Q. I have had a rocky 8 months to say the least, with my first ever boyfriend and now i'm just wondering has he really changed? I first met my boyfriend when i went back to school after missing a year, i was sent to learning support ...
A. 28 October 2012: CindyCares- I will take everything you have said into concideration, thankyou for your advice, and i will make sure to update this situation in the future. And i will admit his mental health problem, will no longer be taken as an excuse, as i... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend really changed?
Q. I have had a rocky 8 months to say the least, with my first ever boyfriend and now i'm just wondering has he really changed? I first met my boyfriend when i went back to school after missing a year, i was sent to learning support ...
A. 28 October 2012: You Wish - He will be 17 in June. I personally don't agree with what you say, i know people with mental health problems find things such as relationships hard, but it doesn't necessarily mean i shouldn't have one, he more than anyone knows about my ... (read in full...)
I feel as if I've lost myself . I love him but I've changed. how do I tell him I need "time out" without hurting him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years. We love each other and all, but we've broken up and made up numerous times. I feel I've changed drastically from being the fun girl to being the obsessed girlfriend. I feel as if I...
A. 27 October 2012: I constantly throughout my relationship have had moments such as yours. I've had times when i just really needed a break, and i've had times where i felt a compulsive need to be on my own to simply let my hair down find out who i really a... (read in full...)
I don't approve of boyfriends friendship with this girl. what to do?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been arguing for the past few days about his friendship with a girl who continuously flirts with him. he says the flirting has stopped after the first time I confronted him about her texting him saying"call me so j can give...
A. 27 October 2012: Sometimes it isn't all about you being insecure. I've had countless arguements like this, about different girls my boyfriend has been friends with overtime, because unlike him i could see they were in it for something else, or they wanted more ... (read in full...)
First meeting with his parents and I. Do I take a present and if so what?
Q. My Boyfriend said he wants me to meet his parents next weekend and I am scared. We have been together now for 6 months and this is the first time he has suggested this. He said to me to not be bothered by his Mother. I asked him what he meant an...
A. 27 October 2012: His mother sounds like the picky kind, so maybe a gift isn't the best idea.
The only thing you can do is be yourself, and relax. Make sure you have manners, and just try and show them your personality.
If you feel you... (read in full...)
She lives in his house, wears his clothes and has him at her beck and call... am I wrong to think this is out of order?
Q. My boyfriend and I both are 17. I have recently found out that one of the girls my boyfriend introduced to me as his sister is not, in fact, his sister. She is just a really close family friend. She has no blood or legal ties with him what so ever! ...
A. 27 October 2012: It sounds like to her this is more of her second family. I will admit if i was in your situation i would be rather jealous and i would have alot of concern.
However just for a second you must think of some... (read in full...)
Is this just a rebound move on my part, considering I only just broke up with my Gf?
Q. Hey- This may be a bit silly, but I was just wondering and I wanted to know what everyone thought. My girlfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me out of nowhere about a month ago (there was distance, and a lot of outside circumstanc...
A. 27 October 2012: Your not a jerk for thinking her body type isn't what your into! Being attracted to someone is all about honesty after all ;)
I will say, as i have been there, you need to be very careful about how quickly you get into relationships or even... (read in full...)
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