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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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She says she loves me so why does she turn me down?
Q. I once proposed a girl and she turned me down,however she contied relying on me for anything she wanted.she started making sexy moves towards me but if i try to propose again she dismises the issue.if i cal her to go out for lunch she turns me ...
A. 25 October 2011: It kind of sounds to me like she might be using you. Relying on you for everything she wants and then not talking to you for ages.
That isnt love thats just selfishness.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to experiment and will a girl mind if her virgin boyfriend had a bj from someone else?
Q. Im a virgin and for awhile ive been wanting to get a blowjob. Is this okay for me to do because ive always wanted to be in a real relationship before I started to experiment with sex. Will it be okay for me to experiment a little since im single ...
A. 25 October 2011: Okay, well i gusse if it is a close friend then it isn't as bad, and as i said dw too much as loads of people have a past and i am sure most girls would not be bothered by it (it would only be abit tacky if it was an complete stranger or someone you ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a family party, or the fan party for my favourite band that wont happen again until the year after?
Q. I'm not sure which party to go to next march,as they are both on the same weekend.one is a fan party for my favourite band in london,and the other is a party for my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary.i went to another fan party for the band ...
A. 24 October 2011: Well personally i know it might sound harsh but i would go to the band concert, maybe its just because i'm young i don't know but i guess sitting around all night pretending to be having fun when i could be doing something ten times better would be ... (read in full...)
Could this be love?
Q. Could this be Love? iv'e been seeing this guy for about 3yrs, he has always told me he likes me lots and lots and lots. we only see each other. we get on fine everything is great and we don't argue to much, he calls me everyday and texts me morning ...
A. 24 October 2011: Well from what ive heard it does defointly sounds like he cares about you an awful lot and i would say that yeah he does love you.
But you too are going out aren't you? So surely he should of loved you from the start of your relo... (read in full...)
Lots of questions about sex, please help!
Q. hey i am suresh from india !! i have many questions first of all !! 1) my penis size only 5 inch long so is it normal size or not ? 2)can we increase our penis size ? 3)i am very fond of sex i masturbate twice a day !! is it normal ? 4)whenver i...
A. 24 October 2011: 1. The average size of an indians man penis is 4 inches so yeah your fine.
2. You will find alot of things on the internet about increasing your penis size but normanally none of them work i don't think you can find a perminant solution to incre... (read in full...)
Do all girls use emotional blackmail to get things done for them?
Q. My girlfriend emotionally blackmails me that If I don’t do this or that , she will dump me. It has been happening for the last 8 months and we have been together since April 2006. She also loves me and three days back, when I came back from office, ...
A. 24 October 2011: Well i would never dream of doing that to a partner! I think its really low for someone to that in there relotionship just because they want something and if someone done it to me i wouldn't think twice about telling them to sort it out.
... (read in full...)
Is it okay to experiment and will a girl mind if her virgin boyfriend had a bj from someone else?
Q. Im a virgin and for awhile ive been wanting to get a blowjob. Is this okay for me to do because ive always wanted to be in a real relationship before I started to experiment with sex. Will it be okay for me to experiment a little since im single ...
A. 24 October 2011: I can tell you that the expierence will be alot more enjoyable and comfortable if you get a blow job off someone who your in a relotionship with but i can understand that is just a matter of waiting for the right person to come along.
... (read in full...)
Ladies: How important are a man's looks in a relationship?
Q. Hello. This is not a "problem" as such, but i have a question for the ladies.... TRUTHFULLY, how important are a mans looks in a relationship? I ask this for 2 reasons. Firstly women always say that its personality, kindness, empathy, sense o...
A. 24 October 2011: I always find myself getting attracted to a boys personality before looks, it might sound wierd but i can fall in love with someones sense of humour before i take into concideration what they look like if that makes sense.
... (read in full...)
Why should I stay with a guy whose mom truly doesn't like me?
Q. Why should I stay with a guy whose mom doesn't like me? I'm getting so fed up with everything, if I been with her son for 2 yrs why does she still sit there and acts like a bitch with me ? I never cheated on him or anything. Okay yes we have our ...
A. 24 October 2011: When my mother got with my farther his mother hated her, for no reason what so ever! She would blame everything on my mum say that the reason my dad always ended up in prison was because of her, even when my mother was pregnant with me at the age of ... (read in full...)
Should I end all ties? It will upset me. But my FWB guy wants no commitment.
Q. Hi, I've been friends with benefits with this guy i've known since school for like 3 months now. We text each other constantly and are always talking to each other. We see each other about 3/4 times a week and when we're not with each other we...
A. 24 October 2011: Well friends with bennifits simply means friend you can have sex with and thats it and from what ive heard this does sound like you both have slight feelings for eachother.
You are ovbiously very attached to him now and if he is acting like... (read in full...)
I haven't had a first kiss yet?
Q. I am 18 years old and have yet to have a first kiss let alone a first boyfriend. I do feel really bad about it especially since most of my friends have fwb's and hookup buddies. I wanted to wait until I have a boyfriend to have my first kiss, b...
A. 24 October 2011: I can tell you now having your first kiss with someone you love (or atleast someone you fancy) will be an all together better expierence than just kissing a stranger.
Please don't be put off because all ... (read in full...)
My biggest fear is being cheated on?
Q. I haven't had a boyfriend yet, but my greatest fear is being cheated on. I guess it's because growing up my dad cheated on my mom and even went as far as to introduce me to one of his mistresses. But my greatest fear is being cheated on and hur...
A. 24 October 2011: Well unfortunely thats life. Things like that happen in a relotionship (im not just talking about cheating) but in relotionships you have ups and downs good times and bad times, sometimes things will be perfect other times they might feel like its ... (read in full...)
I found out that my girlfriend was talking to another guy, on the phone? What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend was working and a guy that she use to hangout with called her and they were on the phone for 20 min or so. Should I get mad at her? Plus she was ignoring my phone calls. What do I do ...
A. 24 October 2011: No you shouldn't get mad at her. He's an old friend they were probably having a good catch up you wouldn't get mad at her if she was talking on the phone to a female friend for 20 minutes would you? So why is this different.
... (read in full...)
Everytime I'm with him, he gets a hard on!
Q. Hello! I am just beginning to date a new man (5 dates, its still early days and not yet 'official' in terms of being classed as bf/gf). He is a total sweetie, and a real gentleman, I really couldnt wish for a nicer man. I really do like him,...
A. 23 October 2011: It is a scientific fact that sex hits the back of a mans brain every 52 seconds.
I am a women so i don't have an insight to the male mind or anything.
But do you reckon he might like may... (read in full...)
Is everyone capable of finding love?
Q. Do you believe anyone and everyone is capable of finding love if they put in effort to do so? Thanks for answering :)...
A. 23 October 2011: Do you know back in anicent greek times people beleived that the gods first made these great beings and creatures but one day the gods decided that these creatures were too strong for there own good so he split there soul into two which is where the ... (read in full...)
I am struggling with my sexuality!
Q. hi i am a 15 year old boy i dont know if im bisexual or gay because i find boys attractive but not girls if i see girls its like i get quite nervous and boys aswell but i dont feel attracted to girls as i do with boys so i would like to know if i am ...
A. 23 October 2011: Hey, well like you i am 14 and i am qeustioning my sexuality aswell, it is a diffucult time being a teenager as alot of changes to do with hormoans and puberty can cause you to become sexually confused. Like the... (read in full...)
Schools won't take me in, do I have a future? Help!
Q. Hey, well before i start i'm 14 years old and i am in England so i'm sure school situations and things like that are rather different to places in America so just clearing that up. Well haven't been in school for a year now...
A. 22 October 2011: Wow may i say iAmHereToHelpYou thankyou so much! you don't realize what a reliefe it is to acutally here from someone who has been in the same postion as me.
I will give childline a go so thankyou. Also than... (read in full...)
Schools won't take me in, do I have a future? Help!
Q. Hey, well before i start i'm 14 years old and i am in England so i'm sure school situations and things like that are rather different to places in America so just clearing that up. Well haven't been in school for a year now...
A. 20 October 2011: Thankyou for your advise. First of all i only have one parent my mum but she is doing everything in her will power to get me into another school, she has tons and tons of crap to deal with at the moment as she has recently been listed disabled and ... (read in full...)
Struggling to get my 14 year old to open up about her first love and first break-up, any other moms going through this?
Q. Hi...so, my 14 year old "little" girl has just experienced her first love and now it seems like her first breakup!..She is not allowed to go on dates yet, but the young boy often came to our house over weekends..and every now and then a group of ...
A. 18 October 2011: I am 14 years old, and like your daughter with my mum i really do not like talking about love and romance and boys.
When i had my first (you could say crush) love and i stoped to talking to them and we just drifted apart i just wanted to keep... (read in full...)
do guys even want to be in a casual relationship with a girl who doesn't want to offer him sex?
Q. i've recently starting hanging out with a guy who is in an open relationship with another girl. this works for me as i'm not interested in anything serious, i just enjoy the flirting and the company because we are both attracted to each other. the ...
A. 18 October 2011: There are boys who really just get on alot better with girls (in a friend way) than they do with boys.
However as it is sort of nature i'm sure alot of men would admit maybe to being attracted even if j... (read in full...)
Did he "do it" with his ex... or didn't he???
Q. Basically I have been with my bf for 2 yrs and 7 months, we have been through everything together. But I am too nosey for my own good, and I found on FB that he was messaging his ex talking dirty and he suggested meeting up for sex :O its killi...
A. 10 October 2011: Hello.. he was talking dirty with an ex. He ovbiously was sniffing around for abit of action and despite you thinking he is all nice and would never do anything like that the proof was right there infront of you. ... (read in full...)
Help! Advice? Am I driving my daughter away? Am I being too controlling?
Q. My daughter will be 21 on her next birthday. She is a high achiever but also could be a handful at times. From the ages from 16 to 18 she was out a lot, yes she was doing her A levels, part time job and cared for her horse. She also did go out with...
A. 5 October 2011: It is her life not yours. She wants to move in with her boyfriend let her. She wants to have sex with him let her. It doesn't matter if you beleive your daughter is out of his league they are in love that is really all that should matter.
She... (read in full...)
How do guys act when they like the same woman?
Q. Can anyone tell me why two guys that like the same woman (and both know the other likes the same woman)would ignore each other when they run into each other in a public place? They know each other. They both had opportunities to talk to each other ...
A. 5 October 2011: Well, look at the animal kingdom, especially lions. When a male lion comes into a dominent males terriotity and trys to start seduceing all the other lionesses what does the dominent male do? He fights, and the strongest lion will then win the ... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl to accept my proposal?
Q. I'm 3rd year Electronics engineering student,I like a girl and I had been proposed her 1 year ago but she says that we are good friends.I have special feelings for her I still love her.What should be done which help to get my answer? ...
A. 5 October 2011: If you asked this girl to marry you, and you were only good friends and weren't in no current relotionship at the time it really doesnt make much sense? You have to acutally love eachother first, you can't just leap into marriage after all it is a ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my cruel sister for what she has done? She's ruined my education, I miss my husband and she destroyed my passport.
Q. Help help help Please. I got married and was to travel for honeymoon with my husband the next day. as we were to pursue our masters degree in england. On The day, we went to the aiport but We couldnt go. We had to return home because we found out ...
A. 4 October 2011: Well personally, if that was my sister i would confront her! that is a wicked and horrible thing to do, maybe you should speak to her alone before you tell any other family members but i wouldn't let this slip. Also as for your education is there... (read in full...)
Worried about my friend's health, what can I do to help her?
Q. Ook, this may sound stupid ... Well i worry about my friend all the time , because well her mom has heart problems, and is on the urge of dying and so is her grandma, because in there family heart attacks are in there .. and well my friend doesn't ...
A. 4 October 2011: First of all, if someone over eats it is there fault alone, no one controls what food they put in there mouths, so please stop thinking that everything to do with your friends health is your fault. Even though you may ... (read in full...)
I have never been pursued by a guy.
Q. Through out high school, and now in college, I have watched my friends have guys coming up to them, flirting with them and getting their numbers. This has never happened to me and makes me feel extremely sad, unwanted and lonely. The only two guys I ...
A. 2 October 2011: It isn't about the way you look it is all about the way you ACT! You have to give off the right vibe for men to feel combfortable enough to approach you, if you appear to be rather shy ot abit timid and queit then i find men tend to be abit less ... (read in full...)
Do all guys use girls?
Q. Why do all the guys i know say they like but just want to use me for sex? Then the guys i do like will like my friends or just stay long enough to get wat they want then wen they do they stop talking to me until they want something else? Are all ...
A. 29 September 2011: Answer to your question, no not all guys are like that, i know it is hard not to judge all boys by your own personal expierence but everyone is different.
Oh yeah, and HoneyComb, just because someone is youn... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I have feelings for a 20 year old man
Q. So im 13 going to be 14 and there is this guy that i like but hes 20 and he knows that i like him and he says im not supposed to but i seriously like him i can't stop thinking about him. He always listens to my problems and try's to protect me. He ...
A. 26 September 2011: Hey, well i know things are hard when you are young, as there is defointly that big legal age limit it makes things so much more complicated. Even though he may well seem lovely and nice, you do however need to keep ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that no woman will ever be interested in me because of my financial problems
Q. I need some encouragment. I am 26 years old and just going to college. I am having some money problems with school loans so I may have to drop out, but I will pursue my education none the less. I am worried that no quality woman I would want to be ...
A. 26 September 2011: Hey, i do kind of agree with pinktopaz, but i do beleive that if someone truely wants to be with you, then matrielistic things and money should not be a big issue. I come from a very poor family, ... (read in full...)
I may have messed things up...Help!!
Q. So, I met this guy online. We'd been talking for about 3 weeks because he was on leave when we first started talking. He's now back from visiting home and we met about 3 days ago and I ended up liking him WAY more then I expected to once I met him ...
A. 17 September 2011: Hello. He might of got all sorts of mixed signals if you said you wanted to change your relotionship status on "facebook". He might not be too sure if you meant as a friend, or in an acutual relotionship or something else. ... (read in full...)
Confidence issues. Can I stop having off days?
Q. Hi everyone, I wondered if you can tell me what's wrong with me (if anything is) I'm having some issues with confidence. I've always had an issue with confidence to some extent, but over the past few months I've tried to change. Some days I feel ...
A. 17 September 2011: Hey, well my friend it kind of sounds like this could be one of two things. First one. You could be depressed, has anything happened recently which has really set you back? maybe a split up, or a big change? I used to be extre... (read in full...)
Why is this guy avoiding me after one awkward conversation?
Q. So there's this guy at work who I thought I could be friends with. When we first met, he wasn't shy, but nervous, and really friendly. Although we never talked (other than during first introduction), he always looked into my eyes with a sincere ...
A. 26 August 2011: Hello. Well if he is quite shy it can really take the littlest thing to bash his confidence. Maybe he could feel it was his fault that the covorsation didn't go well and feels like he doesnt want to embarass himself anymore. He could of caught o... (read in full...)
I am dating an older woman,what issues could come up due to the age gap?
Q. I'm 25 and my girlfriend is 37. Why is it that I get criticism over the age gap from people who I see? I was in a local pizza takeaway joint when the guy behind the counter said "here's the pizza for you and your mum!" I've also had criticism...
A. 26 August 2011: This is horrible, groups of youths shouting things at you its just malicious and disgusting. This is in no way your fault and their is nothing wrong with the age gap aslong as you and her are fine with it and love each other it should'nt be a ... (read in full...)
My man will live in my basement, but not move upstairs with me, WHY???
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner for almost 5 years we live in the same house for just over 3 years . We have great sex in bed lots of passion, but he only sleeps with me on weekends. He lives in my basement, I have asked him to move up ...
A. 26 August 2011: Hey. Well some people just really enjoy there own space, and even though it is nice to sleep in the same bed somtimes it can get irrateing if the other person snores or rolls over alot etc. I do find personally having a whole ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend teases me about having sex but then doesn't follow through
Q. I am a 19 year old virgin guy and I have a great girlfriend though she isn't a virgin oh well. One thing i am haveing a problem with is that she teases me and then when we are about to have sex we stop and she says sorry to me. We were about to have ...
A. 19 August 2011: Well she said she isnt ready so basically she isnt ready to have sex with you yet, maybe you could talk to her and just pleasure eachother in different ways by starting off slowly. Build up her confidence and let her come around naturally and when ... (read in full...)
I caught my husband in bed with another woman.
Q. i saw my husband on bed with another woman may 13 2011 his friends gve me the hint and help me open to reality, the worst day of my life. i hate him now and we have a child. a very beautiful child. i want to teach him a hard lesson??? tell me how?...
A. 19 August 2011: It is a terrible thing he has put you through but like many people have said below revenge is not the answer. Why would you want to spend your time plotting against him ? if he has done this to you then simplely was your hands of him as Unknown said ... (read in full...)
I cant get over the fact I'm not going to be her first kiss!
Q. I've never been kissed. My girlfriend has. We met in person, now long distance, it has been almost a year. She was kissed years ago, and it still makes her feel used to me. It hurts so bad, and I am so depressed. I've waited my whole life for h...
A. 19 August 2011: Dude, if you have some sort of idealism in your head of the women you being with to be "pure" i'm afraid your going to be waiting a very long time.
I find it horrible that you say because of her past you woul... (read in full...)
Open eyed when kissing???
Q. This is a silly question but I keep opening my eyes when i start to kiss fellas is this right/normal or what?...
A. 14 August 2011: Hey, well to be honest i remember when i snogged someone for the second or so time and i opened my eyes. It really does not matter if you keep your eyes shut or not its what ever is comfortable with you. In kissing there really is no guidlines. Just ... (read in full...)
Why do some men prefer porn over true love?
Q. I guess I am just an old fashioned girl. I have been married twice/divorced twice and am in a relationship with a wonderful man right now. We are both in our mid forties. To me, "sex" is about intimacy and love. It is about sharing the m...
A. 14 August 2011: Hey, Well you see porn promotes a level of fantasy. For instance a man might have a fetish lets just say a bondage fetish or something along those lines.
And maybe he's to insecure to tell his wife he has that... (read in full...)
Sexual joke gone wrong. Help!
Q. ok. i have a strange dilemma with a girl i work with. I have known this girl for about 2 years, and she knows I like her. She knows I like her for her, so it isn't based on a lust. She does have a boyfriend that she has complained that he "doesn't ...
A. 10 August 2011: Well it sounds like she might be having abit of a rough time at the moment. I reckon you should go with the bestfriend and just leave it a while before you talk to her about the whole facebook thing.
And if your... (read in full...)
Sexual joke gone wrong. Help!
Q. ok. i have a strange dilemma with a girl i work with. I have known this girl for about 2 years, and she knows I like her. She knows I like her for her, so it isn't based on a lust. She does have a boyfriend that she has complained that he "doesn't ...
A. 9 August 2011: Hey, well if her boyfriend is basically abit of an arsehole do you reckon shes blocked you to simplely stop him from asking qeustions or finding out ? The amount of people i have met in my time who are ... (read in full...)
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