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If your 15 year old daughter had a boyfriend, how would you react?

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 October 2012) 28 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2012)
A female United States age 16-17, anonymous writes:

Okay, so i am 15, and i want to tell my mom about my boyfriend. If your daughter came to you and told you this, how would you react? How would you want to be told?

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A female reader, psychic fiona United States +, writes (1 November 2012):

psychic fiona agony auntlike i said before if its a boy or a girl, it really doent matter,if we didnt love you we wouildnt care but we do so this is touching when a child is growing up and espacally moms its very crazy we do go a little nuts, but we cant help it its all in love and care

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (31 October 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHi again,

Good Job on talking to your parents. I have to admit that I have been overly excited when my kids have a romantic partner. They tell me I tease but mostly I'm curious and want to know more. Yes, it will calm down. Yes a smarter parent would make less of a big deal about it.

Last bit of advice. You are a bit young to be exclusive. 3 years by my reckoning, less is comm in in the US. What that means is that you need to remain cautious. Double or group date. Keep communicating with your, and his parents. Your parents have accepted this as a done deal so I see no reason for me to complain.

FA

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (31 October 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt Relax. The attention is annoying - then again it was a side effect that both you and many posters had expected - but now do not blow it out of any reasonable proportion. Why is so terrible and torturous ... that your mom takes a deep interest in your life, and is excited about what IS a big milestone ?! and probably also excited that you confided in her ? . She is your MOM, do you think moms exist only to cook, give you money , give you rides to school etc., - and done that they must to put a lid on their emotions and just shut the f... up ? Ok, maybe she is going a bit overboard, she is acting a bit hyper , a bit daft,- so ? Why, are you always perfect as a daugheter ?...It will all die down in few days , can't you be a good sport for a few days ?

Considering, like the previous poster says, that anyway this was a POSITIVE reaction. If she had told you : no way, you are too young to date, just forget about it, in fact, I am taking your cell phone away, because I from now on I am keeping a closer eye on you "-that was another kind of reaction that she was also entitled to. I don't think you'd have liked that better .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, i told her.

Basically, i just summed up a bunch of courage and did it.

And i was right. She started in immediately with the "BABYGIRL ALL GROWN UP LEMME GET THE CAMERA". ugh, it was bad. And i've had to deal with that from everyone in my family since.

I am going to do all of your children a huge favor. Please don't react like that. This is horrible! I'm miserable! I can't do anything without his name being brought up! I feel like i can't talk to anyone. I feel so alone.

I haven't ventured far out of my room because of it. I hate this. I hate it so much. I want things to go back to normal. I've told them to stop, but they won't! I hate it. I want it to be over so bad.

So please, when your children get boyfriends or girlfriends, do not tease them. I feel like i can't go to my mom anymore. Its horrible! She's being such a bad parent! I can't stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm never doing this to my children. Ever.

Anyway, thank you to all who answered.

To answer fatherly advice's questions, yes we are exclusive, no we aren't going out with other people, yes we both like each other.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (30 October 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThank you for finally explaining, at least in part, what you mean when you say "boyfriend." I have a few follow up clarifications. Do you mean an exclusive relationship? That means that you two have agreed not to date, or hang out with any one else. Do you both have romantic feelings for each other?

I also approve of your commitment to your ideals regarding sex. I'm glad that your mother is aware of them. She can help you keep those commitments, if she knows what is happening in your life.

I just found your post about your ages. To me it appears that your relationship is appropriate for your ages (depending of course on your answers to the questions above). I do hope that soon (depending on your family rules about dating) he asks you out on a real date. It seems to be a lost art these days. I also hope that as your relationship goes from first week out to 2 months that you learn as much about him as you can. Learn about his hobbies and interests, about his dreams and values, his triumphs and disappointments.

I hope that you have many good friends, both boys and girls.

FA

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (30 October 2012):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntJust because you have a boyfriend at 15, doesn't mean your going to go ahead and have sex... people can be abit too stereotypical these days.

Its best you tell your mum, and don't panic at what everybody is saying, most of the aunts and uncles i am sure are just making sure if you are doing anything sexual (which your not) that your safe and protected.

If your older sister had her first boyfriend at 16 and your mum was perfectly fine about it, then i am sure it will be the same with yourself.

I have a boyfriend, who i've been with since i was 15, many people said i shouldn't have a boyfriend at that age as i wasn't mature enough to handle it, however i'm still with him now, i'm not pregnant, i haven't turned into a slapper, and tbh, i think 15 years old is a perfect age to start just exploring the relationship side of life.

And its up to you to see if your mature enough to deal with this relationship, but i wouldn't panic about it too much, just see what happens and have fun, don't take things like this too seriously your young after all!

I shall say it like this: Your mum is going to know that one day, your going to get a boyfriend, at some point in your life, i'm sure your mum is aware that your growing up, and i'm sure as you said your mum no knows you are interested in boys, so why not tell her?.

Like you, i hate discussing relationship stuff with my parents, always made me freeze up and wish something else was going on, but you don't have to go into an in depth conservation about it all, you can just simply say "mum, i have a boyfriend." and be done with it.

How she reacts is all to do with what kind of person she is, and what views she has on this.

However its a stage that every teenager has to go through at some point in there life, i'm sure you'll feel exactly the same breaking it to her that you have a boyfriend, when your 18, or 21 or whatever!

The nerves never go away when it comes to telling your parents something like that, so please, just relax, and be brave, chances are she will find out if you don't tell her anyway.

Good Luck xx

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (30 October 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt OP, good for you being so crystal- clear about you want to handle your sex life, but a ) how were we supposed to know ? Stay a bit on DC, read a few hundreds of " 16 and pregnant " posts, and see if we are making a big fuss about nothing .

b) the best laid plans etc.etc . One of the main problem with teenagers, even mature, intelligent teenagers , is that they have trouble staying on course and being consistent with their life plan. In ANY kind of life choices, from school, choice of friendships , tastes, hobbies, ideals and relationships. Another problem is an imperfect impulse control. So, you say you want postpone sex until 18 etc., and we don't doubt that you mean it, and YOUR MOM has no dount that you mean it. She also knows that you MIGHT change your mind, and for the wrong reasons, under the wrong influences. It's just a possibility, a remote one if you wish, but enough to make every parent slightly antsy.

As for having your teen heart broken, yeah I know it won't be the end of the world, and if it should happen , you'd get over it. And you know it too. And your mom knows it better than us. So ? She is a mom , she does not cherishes the thought of possibly see you suffering, even for maybe 3 days !

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My God, you guys are scaring me.

I don't want to have sex now! I want to wait! I always have! When i have sex i want to be on the pill, with someone i truly love, and i want to be at least 18! I've told my mom that before. And in no way do i want to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of 4 days.

And breakups are just a natural part of life. I don't expect to be with him forever. I mean, sure it will suck horribly when we do but still its kind of something you have to deal with. And you then move on to greener pastures.

He's a really nice guy. Sure, i know guys my age will do anything to get some but we've been friends for a while. He's really nice and sweet. all honors classes too. And he constantly tells me how pretty i am and stuff like that. I'll touch up my makeup before class an he'll be all "come on babe you don't need that".

And if he ever did try to force me to have sex or hit me or something, i would break up with him in an instant.

Hmm....i'm not so scared now. Maybe i should just tell them.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (30 October 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony aunt#1 Don't expect your mother to keep secrets from your dad. That would be unhealthy for their relationship.

#2 You haven't given us any good reason s why you shouldn't share this part of your life with both of your parents. The idea that you might be embarrassed or uncomfortable, just shows that you are emotionally unprepared for this boyfriend relationship. That means you need more support not less.

You are more likely to get helpful advice from your older experienced parents than from your inexperienced same age friends. It appears from your reply that your parents are not going to put a lot of restrictions on you. They are going to want to be part of your life. If you expect them top be part of your life when you are 30 then accept them as part of your life at 15.

FA

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (30 October 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt I think you are being very hard with your parents :). Parents are just human beings, with their quirks and foibles and sensitivities. You want, probably demand, that they'd be accepting of yours, so why don't you try to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and see where they are coming from ?

The " how cute " cringe factor- what's wrong with that ?! Well, that it makes you cringe :). But why ? Did you cringe when they made a fuss over your first day of school, or when you learned to swim, or to ride a bycicle ? parents DO notice and feel strongly about every step of your growth , of your path to adulthood. It's normal that it affects them somehow! Better the cringe factor .that being ignored or being thought of like " Little bitch is dating, acting adult now. Good , let's hope now she drags her ass out of my house soon so that someone else will be paying for her upkeep ".

The " I am uncomfortable with it " is an expectable and acceptable reaction too. Let's be frank, nowadays "having a boyfriend " rarely means that you'll just be taking romantic strolls in the park whispering each other sweet nothings. It means that pretty soon you'll be either fully active sexually , or at least engaged in some forms of erotic play/ exploration, how do you want a parent to feel totally cool about it ? Rationally, they might be PC and accept that the exercise of a healthy sexuality blah blah, - emotionally you don't want to even THINK of your baby "exploring " and touching this and that , it's hard to adjust to this idea .

Plus, if they are normal parents, they will be SCARED. Not only that you might get knocked up ( a very reasonable concern ! ), but that you may have to suffer: be used, be dumped, be jealous, cry for love,... all the dramas that usually accompany teen love . Newsflash, parents aren't always those selfish insensitive overbearing dummies they may look to their teen kids,- simply, their stomach churn at the idea of you being vulnerable to the slings and arrows etc.etc.

Of course they 'll have at some point to adjust and deal with it , they know they can't keep you under a glass jar forever. But that you want them to handle it in the perfect, textbook, " cool " parent way... come on, cut them some slack.

Said all this,DO tell them. It's not good to have secrets in a family, it breeds distance , resentment and mutual mistrust. Plus, I guess at your age you WILL have to tell them if you want to hang out with this boy, having him come and visit you at home, be allowed to stay out a little later etc.etc.It will just make your life easier- if you start with the first lie about where you went with whom, then you'll have to add a second, a third and pretty soon you'll have weaved a very tangled, and unmanageable, web.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

Its only natural for a father to be worried and defensive of his daughters, but as I said, telling your mum and being open and honest about your boyfriend, and then allowing her to tell your father, will show them that you are being open and not hiding anything from them. When people hide things from their parents (or anyone else for that matter) it only brings up suspicion in the mind, and then the general reaction is that the secretive person cannot be trusted, and this will only be a cause for more concern for your parents. At least if you are honest and open about it, your parents (more to the point your father) maybe able to relax a little in the knowledge that they have been included in the fact that you've got a boyfriend and that you are not hiding, and don't have intentions of hiding anything from them.

I say just tell them, your father my kick a fuss up about it and your mum may have a hard time getting him used to the idea that you have a boyfriend, but this is where YOU have your chance to prove to him that you can be responsible, trusted and that he has nothing to worry about.

Actually you may think this might come as a shock to him, but you are almost the age that your sister got a boyfriend and he found out about it, so there's a good chance he's expecting this news sometime in the near future anyway.

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A female reader, psychic fiona United States +, writes (30 October 2012):

psychic fiona agony auntwell, i do have 2 daughters at the age of 19yrs and 16 yrs , so i understand that a teenager thinks a grown up life is easy and they want to do what they want to do.

So i couild understand talking on the phone and meeting in a public place and sharing a milk shake, but going to a house were only them 2 are there and not being chaperoned is getting a little daring, i would not let it happen.

It's called being a parent.

It's not easy to let your child go and do somthing like this because times have changed and so have people.

It's Not safe, its good not to do this.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

by saying "boyfriend", you mean "a boy who is friends with you". right?

I assume having such a boyfriend is totally normal in american culture. so you should be fine.

but if you are having sex with your boyfriend or doing other naughty things with him, please don't tell your parents. no one wants to know that their daughter is doing dirty things with boys. if you feel you have to tell, only tell your mom.

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A male reader, TomWilkinson United Kingdom +, writes (30 October 2012):

TomWilkinson agony auntWhen I was 15 my parents had a golden rule, "if you can't be good, be careful".

I understand that generally America seems to be a lot more Conservative than us here in the UK and most of Europe, but having a boyfriend at 15 is completely normal.

It's good that you want to discuss such things with your parents, I had girlfriends at the same age, and brought them home to meet my parents, with the rule that the bedroom door stays open.

I actually find some of these reactions quite alarming, I'm a parent and although I know I'll be uncomfortable as hell when my Daughter is dating, I'd be delighted if she felt able to involve me to a limited degree in such matters.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I can actually see a couple reactions. Both equally horrifying.

We have the more likely, and more cringe worthy "OH MY GOODNESS!! my little baby girl has a BOYFRIEND!!! oh i need to get out my camera awww all grown up!"

and then we have the classic "im not comfortable with this".

You see, i feel like she would be cool with me having one. She's never been one to shun the idea. Many times she'll be driving me places and she'll see a boy and say "oh, he's cute!" or "oh, he's checking you out!"

Like I said before, my sister's first was when she was 16. And my mom was always in her defense when my dad went through that horrible "little girl growing up" stage.

I don't really like talking to her about this kind of thing. I've never told her who I liked, and i don't want to start.

I really don't want to talk about my relationship with her. I prefer talking about these things to my best friends, they understand more, as they are in my age group.

and not to mention, if my dad goes through that stage again with me, and my mom wouldn't keep that a secret from my dad.

I'm sorry if none of this is making any sense, i'm really just writing down whatever comes to mind

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A female reader, psychic fiona United States +, writes (29 October 2012):

psychic fiona agony auntwell, with kindness and for you to be open minded to what your mom has to say, because she know better and to be careful what you say and try to be her friend and dot say things with a attitude. and if you do all those things im pretty sure you wont have a promblem if anything you will have a better relation ship.

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A male reader, Wild Thaing Canada +, writes (29 October 2012):

Wild Thaing agony auntI'm a parent. If your actions to this point show a track record of being responsible and using good judgement in making decisions then there is nothing to fear. Regardless, in this age of cyberbullying and the internet where mistakes are forever recorded for perfect strangers to see, the risk that comes with sneaking around in ignorance is far higher than any risk associated with having a conversation with your mom.

Tell us, what is the worst thing that you imagine if you tell your mom?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

"Okay, so i am 15, and i want to tell my mom about my boyfriend. If your daughter came to you and told you this, how would you react? How would you want to be told?"

I would tell my fifteen-year-old daughter this: "Any horny fifteen-year-old guy (or horny sixteen-year-old guy or horny seventeen-year-old guy) is capable of saying anything he thinks you want to hear in order to get into your pants. DON'T BELIEVE HIM, even if what he says sounds so good that you want to believe him. THAT'S WHY HE'S SAYING IT! So he can get into your pants! That's all he wants from you! To get laid!"

OP, I can't help notice that you mention "[your] mom" but not "your dad." Believe me, any loving and concerned father who is present and actively involved in his daughter's life would offer similar advice, albeit perhaps less impolitely stated.

Very important that young women like you understand what teenage guys are like: all are perpetually horny, although SOME are also responsible; unfortunately you have no way of identifying those who have learned responsibility, and nowadays it seems fewer and fewer teenage guys are being taught responsibility, so those who are responsible are apparently a rare and unusual minority.

It's up to young women like you to educate yourselves so you can spot those who have not been taught responsibility and therefore have not learned to be responsible: They're the ones who will say anything they think you want to hear to get into your pants, making them the ones YOU DON'T BELIEVE because you know THEY ONLY WANT TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS!

Good luck and best wishes.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (29 October 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI have started answering this question twice, but I keep getting busy and leaving it. Now there are many good and long answers and I hope what I have to say will add to them.

You main question seemed to be how to tell your mother about your boyfriend and get as good of a reaction as is possible. I'd encourage you to be prompt and open and honest in talking to your parents about this. The sooner the better. When you delay telling your parents it seems to them that you are hiding something from them. Hiding is dishonest and will cast some doubt on what you do tell them.

Over the next 10 years you and your parents have a lot of important decisions to make. You need to have them firmly on your side. Don't jeopardize that relationship by telling half truths or hiding important facts.

Now as to age restrictions and meeting the parents and a few other side notes. Age restrictions are something you and your parent(s) should have talked about a year or three ago. Whatever limits your mom suggests will be for your good and with your safety in mind. That is your physical, emotional, and sexual safety. Possibly your spiritual safety if you are both believers.

About meeting the parents, Great way to make your parents feel more comfortable about him. My oldest daughter never could get any of her high school guys to meet me. Turns out none of them were keepers. Some guys are just clueless about what to where to meet the parents. If he needs coaching, do it. As a parent I expect him to be dressed a bit better than he would be for school.

Don't try to dictate to your parents what you will or will not do with the boyfriend. When parents hear that kind of talk they tend to dig in and fight. As your parents get more experienced they will issue dating rules as "suggestions" just to avoid the conflict. You are more likely to get cooperation if you are being helpful rather than bossy.

Mostly I am happy that you asked how to tell your mom rather than "if" you should tell your mom.

FA

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A female reader, maverick494 United States + , writes (29 October 2012):

I see many here have this minimum age requirement when it comes to dating. Reality is that teens are a stubborn bunch and they will often do what they want regardless. That's why my mom always told me: if you do something you think I won't approve of, tell me anyway because it's better to know than to be left in the dark. At least then I know what you're up to and I can support you if things go wrong. This brought me and my mom closer and she was always there for me when I messed up. I plan to raise my future kids the same way.

With this in mind, sit down with your mom one evening, just the two of you and tell her you've started seeing this guy you like. Then describe him, tell her what he's like without going all mushy. Your mom will probably be understanding, but she'll probably warn you about your safety.

Truth is guys' hormones are usually sky high at that age and he won't be the first trying to get it on with you in the name of 'love'. So beware of that and don't have sex with him until you're at least a couple of years older. It's a foolproof way of weeding out players and users, plus it'll show whether he really likes you. Never feel pressured by your peers either. When I was 15 half of my classmates bragged about having sex and most of them were lying.

Lastly, props to you for keeping your mom in mind. Keep doing that. She will be thankful and be a great help to you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

I don't have a daughter myself, but if I did, I doubt I'd be happy with her having a boyfriend until she was at least 18 years of age.

This is because teenagers think they know what's best for themselves and that its ok to do whatever they please, or cool to copy what everyone is doing these days. Often, they end up getting themselves into some right messes.

Too many guys out there who only have sex on the brain, and too many girls who are easily led.

Its better to be safe than sorry in my opinion.

I can't speak for your mum however, you know her and how she is likely to react, better than I do. Just go on your own judgement with this, bring it up with her how you think its best to, but definitely do tell her. It will instil some confidence in her that you are being honest and mature or sensible enough to tell her the truth.

Obviously based on certain things, you'll just know whether she will approve or not. If he's way older than you, or hangs out with the wrong people or has a bad reputation, she probably isn't going to be happy about it, as she shouldn't want a bad influence around her daughter.

Generally though, I think its farther's who are more overprotective of their daughters than mums are, but as I say, I don't know your mum either having said that.

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (29 October 2012):

Basically, it's admirable, healthy, and smart that you want to share this with your mom.

As a father of 3 (now adult) kids I know that you are about the age when people start to take special notice of the opposite sex. In fact, among my acquaintances I can think of 3 couples who first got together about your age and now have stable, decades-long marriages and their own kids. I have heard two of those couples say that, looking back, they really DID fall in love during High School - but it would be several years before it matured into the kind of love they could build a mutually-committed, long-term relationship on. Even though it's statistically unlikely, it IS possible that you have met your life-partner.

As a parent my first question is to determine exactly what you mean by "boyfriend". I probably wouldn't ask you this directly, but the more insight you can give your mother into the nature of your relationship the better it will be for both of you. Assuming the relationship is proper and acceptable, and you have chosen wisely, and are acting responsibly, your mother (or father) may actually be helpful and encouraging to you.

Your mom should know who this boy is. Not just, "Oh, he's a guy in my algebra class.", but an actual face-to-face meeting. Yeah, this is awkward and embarrassing for both you and the guy but in the long run it will build trust and confidence. It could be fairly simple - just arrange to have him waiting when your mom drops you off for a school event, then say, "Mom, this is Bill. We'll be watching the basketball game together, and I'll be right here when you pick me up at 9:00.". Or, "Is it OK for Bill to come over on Tuesday evening so we can work on the project for Spanish class?". Even better would be an event you can share together - "Mom, could you come to the basketball game with me next Friday? I want you to meet Bill - oh, and he needs a ride too.". And if you REALLY want to impress your mom, as well as your boyfriend, try, "Mom, I'd like to have Bill come over for lunch on Saturday. Can you help me make chicken salad sandwiches and some of grandma's baked beans?".

Believe it or not - your parents will NOT try to embarrass you, and will respect your boyfriend. They almost certainly experienced much of what you are going through and actually DO want you to grow into mature, fulfilling, and responsible adult relationships.

By the way - this "meet the parents" thing goes BOTH ways. He may need you to prod him a little with, "Bill, I want to meet your mom and dad. When can we do this?". Be persistent - by observing his parents, or even asking, you can learn A LOT of interesting and useful things about your boyfriend!

There should be some discussion between you and your mom about what is "appropriate" and "proper" with your boyfriend. I tend to agree with "eyeswideopen" that totally unsupervised, one-on-one "dates" may not be entirely appropriate yet. (The more contact there is between your boyfriend and your parents, and between you and his parents, the sooner you are likely to get permission for exclusive dates.)

At some point expect to have conversations about acceptable places to go and things to do; curfews; allowances; driving; alcohol and other drugs; and sex. Believe me, it's not any easier for parents to discuss these things than it is for you but it is the mature, responsible thing to do.

I hope you experience a long, mutually satisfying relationship with your boyfriend!

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2012):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntI got myself a boyfriend when i was 15 years old.

I didn't want to tell my mum because i thought she would embrassass me, however she kind of found out anyway.

She was very relaxed about it, and was happy for me, however i got the whole lecture about protection and everything as soon as she found out.

I know however in your country the legal age for sex is 18, so that does mean normally parents don't want their children having boyfriends untill they are at least past 16.

However if this is what you want then you need to tell your mum, she will find out sooner or later, it all depends what her views are on this, as to how she will react. But its best not to just keep it a secret.

Good Luck xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He just turned 16. I went over his house a few days ago, but she didn't know it was just us, alone. By the way, i'll be 16 in a few months. Also my sister's first boyfriend was when she was 16.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

I have a 15 yr old son, and I've found out about his girlfriends from other sources. I would have liked for him to tell me over dinner or some other casual time and just come out with it, "Mom, Katherine and I are together now." I'm not sure what the proper term is for bf/gf these days, so make sure you phrase it so that she knows he's your boyfriend. We ALL understand that term. Tell her all the things you like about him and bring him round so they can meet, if that's possible. She will be an invaluable resource to you, as you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the fact that somewhere along the way your mom herself had a boyfriend first!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (29 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI did not want my daughter dating till 16 as my parents were with me... when I went to them at 15 1/2 with my 17 yr old boyfriend they relented... and I dated him for 2 1/2 years..

my stepdaughter... I let her date a boy but not be alone with him... and i made sure she had birth control before she was sexually active....

does your mother know this boy? how old is he?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (29 October 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntMy daughters where not allowed to date until age 16 and that was only on double dates. No single dates until 18 and then they made their own decisions.

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A male reader, JogiBharat  +, writes (29 October 2012):

JogiBharat agony auntBecause i want to share your question, because question is of greater importance--morally.

I recall my 15 years old age, and remember one sexual encounter with girl of my age....what i did at that age ? I confess now at my age 63, that not only physically but intellectually i was immature. Yes, body was chemically able to react but emotionally and aesthetically almost blind...and it has take many years...may be around age 25 or more i feel mature sexually.

I am not in agreement with modern trend that excite sexual activity at teen age. I will tell...marriage--which meant, committed sex must be decided by parents and children in honest way.

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