A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey-This may be a bit silly, but I was just wondering and I wanted to know what everyone thought.My girlfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me out of nowhere about a month ago (there was distance, and a lot of outside circumstances on her end, but prior to this, things were perfect). Naturally, i was hurt, not that I was so damaged that I never wanted to be in a relationship again, lol, just I didn't feel I was ready to be in another committed relationship for a while. I wanted to just live a normal college life for a while, since that's not really something I had since I was with my ex since I graduated high school.And yet, there's this girl that popped into my life 2 weeks ago. I don't see her any more often than I see any of my other friends, but at the same time I catch myself thinking about her a lot. I find myself smiling at her texts - sensations that get lost in a long relationship and that I have gone a while without.And sensations that really catch me off guard because I wasn't ready to find them so soon.Perhaps very superficially (and is going to make me sound very shallow, and a huge jerk lol) body type wise, she really isn't who I typically date. Otherwise, I find her super attractive. But it makes me wonder if my mind is tricking me into trying to just rebound.So am I rebounding, or should I let things just fall in place?Thanks in advance!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the speedy replies!
The biggest thing is... I kinda suck at being single lol. Like, I feel way to bad if I lead someone on. So typical college single life will probably never happen anyway lol.
But yeah - I totally agree. I'm not looking to dive into anything, I'll just let this carry on the way it's going.
I guess what I was really asking was if I should keep building a relationship (even if it's just as friends) or just kinda let her back off.
For now I'll just let it carry on, as I kinda really do enjoy her friendship.
Sorry for being unclear - but I didn't even realize what I wanted until you helped me figure it out haha
Thank you guys!
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (27 October 2012):
 Your not a jerk for thinking her body type isn't what your into! Being attracted to someone is all about honesty after all ;)
I will say, as i have been there, you need to be very careful about how quickly you get into relationships or even how quickly you start feeling for another person once you come out of a serious relationship.
Alot of the time when you have just broken up with someone you start immediatly looking for someone else, sometimes even sublimingly doing it without realizing it.
Us humans mainly do this because when we lose someone we love, we immediatly just want someone else to make us feel special again, or we want someone to make us feel wanted or cared about or etc.
We especially want this the most when someone you have loved for a long time decides they do not feel the same anymore, its a natrual feeling.
I would as your young, give yourself some more time before you take any drastic steps, the feeling of being single is very reliving even if it is sometimes abit depressing, and in your case i think its best you let this feeling last a little bit longer.
However if you do decide that you want to get to know this girl theres a very simple way you can tell whether this is more of a rebound thing.
When i had a rebound relationship i found myself constantly comparing my previous partner and my new one, i also found little things me and my new partner did together instantly reminded me of my old partner, Also i would spend long nights debating to myself who i thought was better and always found it very hard to acutally say that my new partner was better than my old one.
I eventually got back with my old partner and wished i had never jumped into another relationship so soon.
If you still miss your ex, or have days where you just want her back, then its best to hold your horses and wait, as the worst thing to do is just to get other peoples feelings involved aswell as your own.
In my opinion i would let the dust settle and give your self a couple of months at most, to just be single and give yourself abit of recovery time to just get over your ex, also this time could also be used maybe speaking to this new girl abit more aswell, but i would jusst for the moment enjoy being single.
Good Luck xx
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 October 2012):
 My advice would be to just let things fall in to place. Yes it can be hard to deal with a break up but it sounds like you are doing really well and that you are moving forward with your life. If it feels right to you to get with this girl then go for it you have nothing to lose. Good luck.
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