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*lumb

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Advice for visiting a lesbian bar alone?

Q.   Hi, so I'm gay and I've been out about 5 months. I've been in one short relationship but that's it. I've recently moved to London and really want to meet other lesbians for friendship and possible dating as I have very few friends here. Does anyone ...

A.   1 September 2014: I think it all depends on if you like to be alone or not, if you would feel comfortable going to a gay bar your first time alone. Id personally bring a friend my first time especially being 5 months out, but if you do decide to bring a friend I'd ... (read in full...)

18 months together. At first it was perfect. Now all we do is argue. What can I do?

Q.   I don't know how to start this but here goes.. I've been with my partner just over a year and a half. I had just turned 19 and he was 22 nearly 23. At the beginning everything was perfect. We spent a lot of time together and did everything toget...

A.   1 September 2014: It seems like the honeymoon phase is over and now its time to move on. And please dont move in with him when youve only been dating for 18 months, it will only add more stress to the relationship. Now if you dont want to break up and make it work ... (read in full...)

I keep crushing on straight girls. How can I move on and find someone I might actually have a chance with?

Q.   I have a problem. I always seem to fall for people I have zero chance of being with like my close straight girl friends. I allow myself to fall even when I understand I have no chance. But here I am for the second time I find myself unable to...

A.   2 January 2013: Someone very close to me has the same problem as you do and the best advice I can give to you is, you'll know when you have found the right person and it's not uncommon for lesbians to fall for straight girls, or even best friends but unless you ... (read in full...)

My bf wants pics of me should I send them?

Q.   Hi Recently my bf asked me to send pics of myself in underwear I love him and trust him and I want to do it... its not I don't feel comfortable with it and he said if I don't want to do it its fine but I don't want him thinking I am some kind...

A.   9 December 2012: I personally feel like it's stupid when girls send those kinds of pictures to there boyfriend, it's degrading and makes you look like a slut. What if you two break up? What would he do with those pictures?? ... (read in full...)

Did I ruin the relationship, due to my dislike of porn? Or are there bigger issues of concern in this relationship?

Q.   Disclaimer: This is long but I really need advice and help. Please! I'm having a hard time letting go of my ex boyfriend. We were together for 20 months and just broke up last Sunday. We were living together the past 2.5 months. He was my first ...

A.   8 December 2012: I really don't see why women get so worked up about porn.. I personally think it was made into something bigger than it was supposed to be. You felt like you weren't enough when, watching porn wasn't even about you.. ... (read in full...)

I think he likes me but we're both way too shy... right?

Q.   Hey to all of the wonderful people out there trying to help! Sooo... Maybe some of you read the question I posted almost a year ago about falling for a student two semesters below me. This haven't changed. We're friends now, I know quite a few ...

A.   29 November 2012: Go for it, I don't think it will ruin your friendship with him. He might feel the exact same way.... (read in full...)

How Do I or Should I ask him about us?

Q.   I spent a month with a guy this summer, before he left for school. We knew each other before then, but I was seeing someone else so we kept it to friends. However we started texting after my relationship ended and we found that we both really liked ...

A.   29 November 2012: I think you should just be direct, if you don't then who will? Just let him know your always there and when he needs to talk he can come to you. Ask him what's on his mind and if he seems distant when he emails/calls you then ask him what's ... (read in full...)

Could I be missing out on something? Or was she acting differently because she was drinking?

Q.   I'm 18 and have been at uni a few months now. I'm bisexual, and within a few weeks of moving here met another bisexual girl in the year above through our LGBT soc. I made friends with her and her housemates very quickly, and also fell for her very ...

A.   29 November 2012: Like you said she could be seeing you in a new light. I know you don't want to ruin the friendship but I really do think the best thing to do is ask her if she likes you. Seeing as you two are getting close I don't think it'd ruin the friendship. ... (read in full...)

I've been having passionate dreams about a man I know from school.

Q.   Hi all, for the past month or so I have been having dreams about this man I see at school. It has been 6 months since we met, and I do not know a whole lot about him. Sometimes we make small talk in between classes, but that's it. I have noticed ...

A.   29 November 2012: Dreams are just dreams for the most part, you might find this man attractive but I don't think it's something to dwell on. Unless you want to try to form a relationship with this man?..... (read in full...)

Both these guys were once very important to me. Is it normal that I still care about them?

Q.   Despite first impression, i'm not easy. I'm very picky i have somewhat standard. Sadly i'm also very sensitive person, so when do find some i really like, i make the mistake of giving my heart to easily. Even though i never been in a relation...

A.   29 November 2012: Most of the time being friends with an ex just never works out but as for dj figuring out his problem, it's for him to notice really.you can slowly talk to him about if he's up for it but the person who has the problem needs to actually start caring ... (read in full...)

I care, but I don't care?

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 9 months now. There's some issues though. I care about her, but I really don't know if I care about her. I know it sounds weird, but it's what I've concluded to be the case. I care about her because ...

A.   29 November 2012: Your young, you have plenty of time to find someone who you won't have to think twice if you want to be with them or not. Letting her go is the best choice. ... (read in full...)

My gay lover left me because I'm bisexual. I want him back!

Q.   Hi friends please help for my problem I'm a bisexual guy but I have s gay lover now it became as problem because of im a bisexual he left me and found another gay but I love him truely I don't want any other guy or girl please tell me help me to get ...

A.   26 November 2012: If the only reason he left you was because you are bisexual then I don't think you need him back. I think you should find someone who is going to love you for you.... (read in full...)

Both these guys were once very important to me. Is it normal that I still care about them?

Q.   Despite first impression, i'm not easy. I'm very picky i have somewhat standard. Sadly i'm also very sensitive person, so when do find some i really like, i make the mistake of giving my heart to easily. Even though i never been in a relation...

A.   26 November 2012: It is common for people to still care for there ex's and be over them at the same time but I think what your worried over is there health and mental stability. Are you feeling like it was your fault?... (read in full...)

I care, but I don't care?

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 9 months now. There's some issues though. I care about her, but I really don't know if I care about her. I know it sounds weird, but it's what I've concluded to be the case. I care about her because ...

A.   26 November 2012: I understand completely but from a different veiw of course, but that's besides the point. I think if you have to actually ask yourself if you love her or want to be with her then that should automatically tell you something's wrong. I do also ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my female bestfriend, who's straight... HELP!

Q.   I'm confused about what to do about my feelings for my female bestfriend who is straight (atleast, I think she is). I'm straight too (atleast, I thought I was). My bestfriend and I are sooo close. We talk and/or text everyday. She gets upset...

A.   16 October 2012: She seems to be giving of some major signals. So of course you would get a bit misleaded, I really think you should ask her if she's of a different sexual orientation. You guys seem close enough to have a conversation like that I'm assuming, if ... (read in full...)

My friend keeps devouring my food...help!

Q.   My friend Bridget drives me absolutely crazy with her eating habits because she is almost ALWAYS sponging off my food. It doesn’t matter if she just had a meal as long as food is around she always wants a bite or a sip or a few of whatever I’m ...

A.   27 September 2012: You should probably eat your food earlier then planned, without her seeing. If that's not an option then I'd probably eat the foods she doesn't like or just snack throughout the day. But you should really stop offering if you know you don't like it.... (read in full...)

My best friend and ex-boyfriend: inappropriate friendship?

Q.   Hey Everyone, I found out some information last night that is bugging/hurting me and i just would like opinions here. I was with this guy for three months(who i still really like) and he had hung out with my best friend a few times i guess...

A.   26 September 2012: You have all rights to be upset, you should just tell her how much you trust her and hope that nothing happens when she's drunk that'll hurt you. I can't say it's her to blame if something were to happen because she's drunk but I would hope that ... (read in full...)

I cant handle all this drama anymore, is this normal behaviour for a man?

Q.   My boyfriend is interested in buying a second hand suit (not really a suit, but just for the story's sake we'll say it's a suit). I went to look at it with him. It seems nice. I have a seamstress whom I trust very much. I told my boyfriend that ...

A.   26 September 2012: He seems too be a very big drama king , I'd say if you don't see the relationship going anywhere then do what you have to do. To what your saying it seems that your love for him as been worn down by the drama and his anger/blaming you for things you ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my family that I'm a lesbian?

Q.   I'm a 17, going on 18, year old female... I come from a pretty tight knit family. I am currently living with my oldest sister in North Texas. Me and my sister both are from southern Texas. I've had a total of 2 boyfriends in my life, never really ...

A.   26 September 2012: This situation is difficult for alot of people, my suggestion for coming out is to not rush into anything. Talk to yourself about how the conversation will go or how you will answer the questions they ask you if they ask, people are different so you ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my friend that just because she's dating doesn't mean that everyone wants to date

Q.   Hi. Yesterday i took my best friend to the restuarant to eat. While we were there..a certain guy who works there asked for my numbers and i told him that my phone just got destroyed so i had no cellphone at that moment (i lied). Well sure he didnt ...

A.   25 September 2012: You could tell her at this point in your life you don't feel like dating, you have all the time in the world to find someone that you'll love or whatnot. An then bring up the situation with her behavior at the restaurant, she will understand ... (read in full...)

I fancy famous females as well as guys, am I bi or just straight?

Q.   Hi! I basically have an issue with my sexuality, I do not know anymore whether I am bisexual or straight. Before around the time of May/June this year, I've always been certain I was heterosexual. I'd never been attracted to a female in the sli...

A.   25 September 2012: I think your in a questioning/experimental phase. Like you've said you've never had girls in your daily life that youve felt attracted to but have kissed and felt it to be normal. But then you've seen your celebrity crush in real life which is a bit ... (read in full...)

What do I say when people ask "why don't you have a girlfriend"?

Q.   I tend to get asked this every now and then, and I just can't help but feel down and frustrated when they ask why I don't have a girlfriend. One, and pretty much the main, reason is that I just haven't bothered. Don't get me wrong, having a ...

A.   25 September 2012: Just tell them your working on it, even if it is a lie. People don't need to be in your business but that's life. I hope everything else works out :)... (read in full...)

Do you believe in 'if you love them let them go'?

Q.   This is just a random poll question: You know how in movies or TV there's always the theme of "if you love him/her, you'll let them go and be happy"... do you agree with that? Given that the relationship in question is pretty good but not ...

A.   21 September 2012: I belive in doing that but i do also belive if it IS the love of your life you should do nothing but hold onto them and never let them go.... (read in full...)

Is it normal that my boyfriend and I don't talk when we're apart?

Q.   Me and and boyfriend has been together for almost a year. When we were together in same city, we meet around 2/3 times a week and almost everyday when we have to study together. but whenever either of us is traveling/ back home, we don't talk at ...

A.   11 September 2012: There is no such thing as "Normal" in a relationship, because everyone has there own thing. There is no rule book on how to date someone or if you should constantly talk, Everyones diffrent. If you and your man seem to be fine with the way things ... (read in full...)

How do I flirt with a girl I've just met?

Q.   I was just at the hospital picking up my cousin. While I was roaming around the gift shop, an extremely beautiful girl came in to buy something. We instantly locked eyes for like three seconds. She gave a friendly smile that seemed to say "I like ...

A.   11 September 2012: You don't, More of an ease your way in kind of situation. Basically what bondgirl said. You start a conversation rather then rushing into something your not even sure it happening.... (read in full...)

Confused bi-guy with some questions

Q.   I'm a 15 year old bi guy who is so confused. I'm bi, but really want a wife and kids, but I can't ignore the fact I also like guys. There's this guy, he's actually really good looking, he's smart and a Rugby player, he's my dream guy. But h...

A.   11 September 2012: Well being bi is liking both women and men so it's normal for you to want one more then the other or just both, but you have so much time to be thinking of these things and one day you'll be at a stage with someone either it be a man or women, and ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my friend with her much older, possessive boyfriend

Q.   The situation is this. I am friends with a work colleague, and lately we have gotten a bit closer, so she has started to confide in me about her relationship. I've heard gossip before about her partner, people have mentioned that he is a great de...

A.   11 September 2012: Women who've been in abusive relationships always find it hard to leave, now i say abusive only because it could lead to aggresion and what not. But putting that aside i think you should find out more about whats going on.. that is if shes ready to ... (read in full...)

All my friends throw doubt and scorn on me for me LDR and say nasty things. What to do about their words?

Q.   I have another question what do i do if my friends are giving ishh about my long distance relationship? like half of them would be like yeah you should give him a try and keep your realtionship and the other half is like you dont know what his doin...

A.   8 September 2012: I'm in an ldr and Im in this situation constantly, to be honest you could listen to some of it but other then that it's your relationship and in the end you and your other are the only ones in it and that should be it. Oh and just a tip, with the ... (read in full...)

Can we start again afresh? Does the relationship start over because we took a break?

Q.   I was with my boyfriend for just over 17 months before we broke up. I broke up with him because I needed time alone to sort things through with myself, and during that time neither of us had a relationship with another person, and we still talk...

A.   8 September 2012: Well whenever I've taken a break from my relationship it continues as if nothing happen, but that all depends on the people in the relationship. You could ask your boyfriend about what you think about it or just start from were you left off.. ... (read in full...)

Why is he ignoring me and cutting me out of his life? What have I done?

Q.   Met a guy through my house mate. Everything was amazing ... He went away for 3 weeks with some friends, but continues to call and text me all the time whilst he was away. When he returned we spent 2 days with each other ( I thought everything was ...

A.   8 September 2012: Sounds like he's playingwith you a bit, like someone already said trying to figure out a guy like this is a waste of time and will lead to heartbreak. And I didn't know just because you have someone on your FB, your considered apart of there life or ... (read in full...)

I-am-in-love-with-my-straight best friend, How do I tell her? I'm hesitant to tell her

Q.   Hi,I am both a lesbian and straight. My friend is a girl too. Once we did this weird/gay test. It's where we do gross stuff to each other (like humping and all that) She made it up. She did to me first. Every time she did something she would sa...

A.   8 September 2012: Well I think you should first find out more of her sexual orientation, even if you already did the test it would help you see if you have a chance at her feelings be same as yours. If you really want to tell her I think you should. But if your ... (read in full...)

Married for sixteen years and he's cheated three times that I know of

Q.   My husband and I have been married for sixteen years and with two children. One child is special needs. There has been three cheating incidences that I knew of during the marriage. The last one he left me for twice in a year and he came back. I ...

A.   8 September 2012: Leave him, he's playing games with you and trying to get the full package at the same time, it not fair to you or your kids. He obviously doesn't love you if he's cheated 3 times and continues to do so..... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?

Q.   Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...

A.   8 September 2012: If you need tip to tell a parent or adult then I'd suggest you set them down and just tell them, there's no other way to get around it..I know it is scary but that's just how it is when your this young and something like this happens. Good luck:)... (read in full...)

I'm scared about my feelings for another woman and what that makes me

Q.   I don't know how to feel about a girl. I have never had a relationship before, I am a 22 year old female. I have never had a crush on anyone before until i had one on a female close friend. I told myself it was fleeting, and when she was with her ...

A.   7 September 2012: Family matters but you can not make desions base on them, you need to do what you think is right for you. What if you look back one day and regret not taking the chance to actually be with her and embrace your feelings? ... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?

Q.   Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...

A.   7 September 2012: I don't think you should get an abortion, many girls I know that have had them have gone through so much . You should tell someone and find out what the best option for you is even if it does come to abortion.. I do hope your ready for that ... (read in full...)

I don't want to be a desperate, clingy girlfriend!

Q.   Hey...this sounds really sad but I'd like some advice on how to cope with missing my boyfriend. I'm usually not the clingy type (completely the opposite in fact!) but this ones different and I really really like him. When I dont see him for a few ...

A.   5 September 2012: Your neither being desprate nor clingy, You simply just miss your boyfriend. I know it may feel like an overwhelming feeling of cinglyness but its just you wanting to be with him. The feeling of him always being there in your mind will somewhat... (read in full...)

I've been very depressed since moving to the US from Mexico

Q.   Lately I have been very depressed. I move to the US for college six months ago, I've been in a LDR since then. I haven't really made much friends since i moved here, people are just very different and not that open compared to the people in my co...

A.   5 September 2012: Yout not a failure, when your in the artisitic feild it will and always be hard. Only because of the reason being there are so many that are going for the same thing as you may be. but you shouldnt get down on yourself because of that, if you try ... (read in full...)

LDR. I think the advice I need is how we stop these little arguments?

Q.   Me and my girlfriend have been in an LDR for a year and 2 month's now and I love her so much I can't imagine life without her. We always get into argument about the smallest thing, other then that we are amazing together. We do have a plan to close...

A.   5 September 2012: I wrote this, Just didnt feel like signing in but... No we have not met but we are going too, and we mainly argue about not talking to each other or just silly things. and no we dont have a schedule even though we are thinking of making one since we ... (read in full...)

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