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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
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This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
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This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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Is this just a rebound move on my part, considering I only just broke up with my Gf?
Q. Hey- This may be a bit silly, but I was just wondering and I wanted to know what everyone thought. My girlfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me out of nowhere about a month ago (there was distance, and a lot of outside circumstanc...
A. 27 October 2012: Your not a jerk for thinking her body type isn't what your into! Being attracted to someone is all about honesty after all ;)
I will say, as i have been there, you need to be very careful about how quickly you get into relationships or even... (read in full...)
We dated for a year. Then were told we're related. Is it wrong to stay together?
Q. I have been talking to this guy a year now and he's everything I wanted in a man. After the year was up we were told we were related. That hurt me to the core. We care for each other so much. Is it wrong to not let go? I wish I would have known...
A. 26 October 2012: I live in a very small town, and beleive it or not i do hear countless stories of how people get together and then happen to find out they are related in some way.
I can imagine how much it must hurt to find... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend seems indifferent lately ...
Q. What do I do if my long distance relationship with my bf has become shaky because he doesn't seem to reply most to my messages.. Also we didn't talk for 4-5 days and when he replied he sad he had been busy.. He seems very indifferent and uncaring ...
A. 10 September 2012: I am afraid that long distance relationships are abit like that.
You both are in different places, living different lives, doing different things each day. It can sometimes get hard to simply find the time to be able to speak to one and othe... (read in full...)
How do ask or find out if I'm wasting my time?
Q. Well there's this girl I really like. She is rather shy. I have taken her out once and we both had a good time. She's been rather quiet recently but theres been a lot going on in my life and her life. What I would like to do is get some ...
A. 10 September 2012: Asking a question like that is really the worst way to go. Girls don't want boys to just give up on them, they want boys to try there hardest with them even if they are maybe being a little bit difficult.
As you said she has alot goin... (read in full...)
How do I take my relationship further without sex?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are 15 and we have been going out for almost 10 months and we have done all the snogging and kissing lark. I'm wondering how to take our relationship further without sex. I don't touch his balls at all and he doesn't touch my ...
A. 9 September 2012: I lost my viriginity shortly after my 15th birthday, and i had only been with my boyfriend for about 2 weeks. So well done for not doing anything sexual after being with him for 10 months. Relationships can move forward without sex, but its ... (read in full...)
B/f on dating site saying he was single, we've been dating for 3 years!
Q. Hiya, I'm in a bit of a pickle. My boyfriend and I have started sharing his email account and he left his laptop here for me to use as mines broke. Basically I went to send a email and I found that he had dating matches so I had a look. It said ...
A. 9 September 2012: Beleive it or not i know this sounds like one of the most least likelyiest options right now. But maybe he was looking for friends? I know thaat a lot of people use dating sites to just chat to people and make friends sometimes. He might no... (read in full...)
Don't trust him, I'm ready to GO!
Q. I have been with my bf for five years now, and like most couples we have had to deal with various issues, in our case it is the issue of infidelity and trust, me being the one who doesn't trust him. He has stepped out on me several times, and each ...
A. 9 September 2012: You sound like your a person with a very big heart and I beleive he uses that against you. I was cheated on by my boyfriend for the first time in my life, i couldn't deal with what he had done, and deep down i had a fear he ... (read in full...)
Why does he go out of his way to push my buttons when I'm having my period?
Q. Around the time of my period, I've noticed myself to be in a pretty bad mood, feeling crappy and being over-emotional. I admit that. What I don't get is why my bf pushes my buttons about it. He will know that I'm on my period, and ANY comment I make ...
A. 9 September 2012: Men do not understand periods, they do not understand the pain of labour, they don't understand girls mood swings, and the definitly don't understand (most of the times) girls emotions. Thats just it, its men for you. Alot of guys do find ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend flirting on line? How is the best way to deal with this?
Q. So, a friend of mine is mutual friends with a girl on facebook with my boyfriend. We were hanging out yesterday and she told me she noticed he liked a lot of this girls statuses and when she posted about looking for work he said this "you should ...
A. 9 September 2012: I will admit, that does seem a little bit odd. Talk to him about it. Its quite hard in situations like these to find the right words to say, and to be subtle about something like this. However if this is really worrying you, then just t... (read in full...)
Does she want a relationship, with me? It's been 6 months. So why is she so cautious about a relationship?
Q. Okay so i keep asking this question but as yet the advice does not seem to help the situation. okay so i meet this girl online from europe and we have been talking for about 6 months and she came here to the United states to work for a while an...
A. 9 September 2012: Okay. Well its ovbious you do have some feelings for her even if they aren't that strong. However at the end of the day like she said, she does live far away. And unfortunely LDR's are not everyones cup of tea. ... (read in full...)
Would you consider this as stalker-like behaviour?
Q. Hello all, I am just wanting an opinion on a situation that has arisen on Facebook. I have a "friend" who I met through a mutual interest site. We spoke for a long time, and eventually added each other. I figured this would be fine, sin...
A. 9 September 2012: Facebook is not for that. Facebook is for keeping in touch with friends and family, and shairng your life with them. People just don't really use it in the correct way these days. ... (read in full...)
Would it be illegal or considered disgusting for me to date a former teacher?
Q. I am 18 years old and I'm a college student now. I have a huge crush on my English teacher in secondary school. He's 20 years older than me. However, he's baby-faced and he's a real gentleman. When I was still in secondary school, we used to hav...
A. 9 September 2012: It isn't illegal aslong as you are or over the age of 18. However, there are rules and regulations around that sort of stuff to do with his Job. It all depends on what country you live in and real... (read in full...)
I think she's the perfect girl for me. But does she really care?
Q. We've been together for six months, then I moved away and a month later she broke up with me because of she didn't want the long-distance. We kept in touch and at first it was awkward and now two months later we're back to talking 24/7, it's like ...
A. 9 September 2012: I will admit, it seems like all the effort is one sided.
It seems like your putting alot of time an effort to make her feel happy and to see how she is and she doesn't want to make the effort back.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend flirting on line? How is the best way to deal with this?
Q. So, a friend of mine is mutual friends with a girl on facebook with my boyfriend. We were hanging out yesterday and she told me she noticed he liked a lot of this girls statuses and when she posted about looking for work he said this "you should ...
A. 9 September 2012: Be careful. Things can get misinterupted on the internet.
He could of simply said it as a joke, and by reading what he put, it doesn't seem that bad to me.
He could just be the girls friend, and was ... (read in full...)
My ex has a new girlfriend barely a month after we broke up, and he's going all out to profess his love for her!
Q. My ex broke up with me like 4 weeks ago. It was such a hurtful break up that I kept questioning myself what went wrong in our 5 year relationship. The love, the mental, physical, and emotional aspects were there too but maybe they were to me and not ...
A. 9 September 2012: Look, sometimes when someone breaks up with another person, they do go straight to the next person, and use it as a form of coping with the fact they have just come out of a relationship.
Recently i have been in that position, me and ... (read in full...)
I've finished it with my first ever boyfriend after he cheated on me, Did I do the right thing?
Q. I was with my first ever boyfriend, and the person who i lost my virginity too for six months and it all ended today. Even though i'm being strong and trying my best to convince myself i deserve better i just want someones else opinion ...
A. 18 August 2012: Well, basically, over the last 48 hours things have taking abit of a turn for me. I will admit i did write this based on anger, however i'm not going to take back or deny anything i said because it was all true.
But howe... (read in full...)
Is 11 inch height difference too much? People keep telling me she is too short for me.
Q. Hello, My height is 6'1½" inches, she is around 5'3" we have nearly 11 inch height difference. We have been together for half a year I have never thought of height difference as a problem. I'm OK with it. I love her and we are planning our futu...
A. 22 July 2012: Hello, I am 5'3 and my boyfriend is 6'1.
Alot of people have commented on my height compared to my boyfriends but i don't think ANYONE has ever said that the difference in our height is a reason why we shou... (read in full...)
Would texting him at midnight on NYE be a good move? we fell out, but he said to try things again in 2012
Q. i really like this boy and we've been meeting up, texting and stuff like that. we fell out but we are ok now, he said to try things in 2012.. seeing as its new years eve i was thinking of texting him how i felt at midnight? but i wouldnt know what ...
A. 31 December 2011: Tbh, new years is all about a new start and a clean slate, and doing something like this isn't just rather romantic but quite a good idea too.
However, you haven't been talking for too long ovbiously you have to take that into... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to send a flirtatious text?
Q. Hey there, I have just started seeing someone and I am wondering if it is too soon to send him a flirtatious text? We have gone on two dates, both of which were really fun and I think I might really like him. I have never had a real relationship ...
A. 31 December 2011: May i just say, you mentioned that you don't know whats normal because you haven't been in a relationship before. I can tell you that in relationships there is no such thing a "normal" way to do things. You find w... (read in full...)
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
Q. At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
A. 28 December 2011: Thank you all for your kind feedback. :) means alot. I will check out the websites thanks Abella. And IAmAlwaysHereToHelp i have tryed to inbox you but for some reason the message thing majic ses i cannot. You can try to inbox me if you would like ... (read in full...)
He's on a 'am I hot or not' site and it's really hurt me..
Q. I have asked and been given some really good advice from this site before so I am hoping again you can help me. I have been with my partner over 2 years, this year we have had a bit of a rough patch, but things have been great recently,or so I ...
A. 24 December 2011: First of all you are not overeacting at all! But ovbiously he is trying to make out you are so he can turn it all on you, so right now just ignore him. The thing which concerns me is how he has just told you so openly, ... (read in full...)
What are your weight advice tips for the new year?
Q. Basically, for my new years revolution i want to lose some weight. I am overweight not majorly but yeah i would like to lose abit of weight. I am just over 11 stone (72 lbs) i am a size 12 to 14 ( european sizes) i...
A. 23 December 2011: First wow your advice has been great. :D thankyou. Happy new year and merry christmas to you aswell Abella thanks for the extra support as usual :) Now i would like to reasure most people that i have looked this thi... (read in full...)
What are your weight advice tips for the new year?
Q. Basically, for my new years revolution i want to lose some weight. I am overweight not majorly but yeah i would like to lose abit of weight. I am just over 11 stone (72 lbs) i am a size 12 to 14 ( european sizes) i...
A. 22 December 2011: oh okay thanks for the tips. :) and yeah about the 72 kg or lbs or whatever sorry i am terrible at maths but yeah i am just over 11 stone. It isn't the fact that i want to be thin for like the idolism of it or because everyone... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm being a pest.....do they really like me?
Q. Basically, i started highschool about a week and abit ago, and so far everything has been going brilliantly, i'm doing well with the work, my sets are getting sorted out and my anxiety ( i have a severe anxiety disorder) is getting easier to ...
A. 22 December 2011: Sorry for the delayed reply. I have now realized yes it was my anxiety and i have reasured myself, that if they didn't like me they wouldn't bother. I get so paranoid about it because it has happened to me on mutiple ... (read in full...)
I need a song to sing someone to sleep to!
Q. I'm sure that this might be the first time anyone on Dear Cupid has asked this question (with all the questions lurking in the archives, who knows?), but it means a lot to me, so thank you if you can answer. My romantic dream has always been to s...
A. 6 December 2011: Well if your main goal is to essentially send this person to sleep. You will need a very queit and smooth song i should imagine. So why don't you look up some lullabys on youtube? I will send you a few that i know of, they might not be to your... (read in full...)
Why would a man appear jealous if you are with someone else, even though he himself does not want to be with you?
Q. Hello, I just need opinions on this subject. Let me give a little info on my situation. I am seeing a man, and we have decided to just be friends with benefits. We have dated in the beginning and when a relationship was brought up he stated that he ...
A. 5 December 2011: Just because he doesn't want a relationship doesn't mean he does not have feelings for you. He could have turned down a relationship, because he said he didn't have time for one, and maybe at that time it was just not convenient for him. However that... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? My friends still don't trust her. She does still occasionally act weird and that bothers me
Q. There's this girl who i'm interested in. A few years ago she was totally crazy, like insane doing weird stuff and trying to fight other girls about me. I couldnt stand her then and did everything I could to make her go away. then we both switched...
A. 3 December 2011: I will just say again, that back a few years ago i was a lose canon.
I was pretty obessive and full on, not to mention i was the craziest person in school, simply because i was going through a real rough time, but now i am the comp... (read in full...)
Art and Design or Business and Enterprise? Which one to choose?
Q. Basically long story short i need help choosing one more subject for me to do for the next two years. In two years time i will be having a series of massive exams called GCSE'S. Depending on the results ...
A. 2 December 2011: I just thought id tell you i have decided to choose Art and Design, simply because i took everything into prespective and had a look at my mums GCSE art work and final peices, she got a B in Art and i had a look through and realized that my art ... (read in full...)
They all lied to me. How do I get over this anger and rage I have inside of me?
Q. Ok its been a while since I have posted on here. I had an ex girlfreind who I broke up with. This is because one of her male friends, who I knew and trusted very well. who also happened to be my friend, was getting too close. It bothered me....
A. 1 December 2011: When someone has lied to you i find that behind all the anger and rage there is normanally humilation.
You say you are over them, and by what you have written i beleive that, however you ovbiously feel... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? My friends still don't trust her. She does still occasionally act weird and that bothers me
Q. There's this girl who i'm interested in. A few years ago she was totally crazy, like insane doing weird stuff and trying to fight other girls about me. I couldnt stand her then and did everything I could to make her go away. then we both switched...
A. 1 December 2011: Its ovbious your friends are going to hate her if not that long ago she was fighting other girls for you. But it doesn't matter what they think, you can't let them choose who you love for you, its about what you think, do you think she's off her ... (read in full...)
What is with men being attracted to teenagers?
Q. I've seen a few questions on here about this. Guys if you're in your twenties why don't you want to date someone your own age? Why do you want to be with someone who hasnt even finished school? Is it because it's forbidden?...
A. 1 December 2011: men don't get with young girls to impregnate them, in fact they normally try as best as they can to do the opposite. But because its nature all men are automatically attractted to younger girls because younger girls are more fertile.... (read in full...)
What is with men being attracted to teenagers?
Q. I've seen a few questions on here about this. Guys if you're in your twenties why don't you want to date someone your own age? Why do you want to be with someone who hasnt even finished school? Is it because it's forbidden?...
A. 1 December 2011: I am a teenage girl, and unfrotunely i have known girls who aren't much older than myself (some even younger but we won't go there) end up with guys in there 30's 20's and even 40's. It is partly i think because yeah it is forbbiden and the ... (read in full...)
I gave him a taste of his own medicine and we've ended it but it still bothers me!
Q. Hello, i need a little advice. Urrm where to start, so quite a few months back a new boy moved to my school, i had known him from being a baby, his family knew mine they are friends. So a few days before he moved i spoke to his mum on facebook and ...
A. 1 December 2011: First things first. Despite him sending those messages to your friend there is no point in point scoring and trying to get back at him by doing the same thing, simply because it will make the trust in your relationship go rock bottom and then you ... (read in full...)
Art and Design or Business and Enterprise? Which one to choose?
Q. Basically long story short i need help choosing one more subject for me to do for the next two years. In two years time i will be having a series of massive exams called GCSE'S. Depending on the results ...
A. 1 December 2011: Wow thanks for all of your replies :). I forgot to include abit of info so i'll just write it now. First i forgot to say that i am starting my Gcse's later than everyone else because i have been off for a yaer bec... (read in full...)
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
Q. Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
A. 1 December 2011: Thankyou alot. And i can assure you this isn't being hard on myself it is simply telling the truth. Like my friend Brandon I only understood death when it acutally happened, the bit that freaked me out so much was... (read in full...)
"Momma's boy" - attractive or not to women?
Q. Want to get some feedback from women here... I grew up without a father so my mother had to be both parents in a way. As a result, I've always been a "Momma's boy". She's not protective or invasive in my personal life we just have a very solid and ...
A. 1 December 2011: I grew up without a farther and even though i am a girl i now have a rather close relationship with my mother.
Tbh if i had to choose between a partner or a relationship with my mum, i would choo... (read in full...)
I feel so used and don't understand what is going on
Q. So to make a long story short. Met one night 7 months ago. Been talking and hanging out ever since. One day, he just stopped talking to me. For two weeks I tried to pretend I didn't care, but one night, my emotions got the best of me and I contacted ...
A. 1 December 2011: Back again, now you have explained it more in detail, it changes alot of things.
From what you have said it does sound like he may well have some feelings for you, but maybe you two have really just fallen into abit of an repi... (read in full...)
I feel so used and don't understand what is going on
Q. So to make a long story short. Met one night 7 months ago. Been talking and hanging out ever since. One day, he just stopped talking to me. For two weeks I tried to pretend I didn't care, but one night, my emotions got the best of me and I contacted ...
A. 1 December 2011: "We only hang out at his place, when its convenient for him." "feel like I'm neglected." "than just sit on his couch and watch tv and have sex" "I feel like such a booty call" Lets be honest now, if you saw another qeustion like this sayi... (read in full...)
Bed bug problem! My boyfriend doesn't believe he has them even though I get bitten!
Q. I have a unique problem. My bf wont support me on bed bug problem and its causing great strain. I mistakenly bought a used mattress a little while back and i started getting bitten all over. I sanitized everything in my place but then I think one ...
A. 30 November 2011: May i make a small suggestion? Bed bugs are rather big in size so they are not hard to reckonize, they normanally are the same size as an apple seed so you would defintley see them if they were on a bed or sheet or matress. ... (read in full...)
Did I do the wrong thing by making the first move?
Q. I have a huge crush on this guy from my local store. I go in and out all the time to try and chat with him but there is always people there. I'm quite shy and my mother is old fashioned so she brought me up to believe that guys should make the ...
A. 30 November 2011: First of all by no means at all are your mothers views wrong but sometimes sitting around waiting for someone to make the first move or kind of catch on that you like them and do something about it can take forever or even not happen. I am a ... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with my LDR......I'm in pieces and need to know how to cope and be strong
Q. i need some advice please. Ive just ended it with my ldr boyfriend, after being messed around with yet again and now as i sit in here in tears, my heart is broken and i feel sick, I just need to know how to be strong over the next few weeks. We had ...
A. 30 November 2011: I'm sorry to hear that you have broken up with your LDR, but getting over someone you love will take time. I'm sure there will be many suggestions from aunts and uncles on here mentioning things y... (read in full...)
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