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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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Her training to fight makes me feel insecure.
Q. I'm in a fairly new relationship with a woman I adore. Our courtship lasted a bit long but we didn't want to get into a relationship just after a few weeks of admitting we liked each other. After a little over a year, we became happily official. T...
A. 22 January 2014: She might well talk so aggressively about how she fights due to the fact she had to defend herself against her boyfriend.
Fighting for her might bring back memories and remind her of what she ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is financially irresponsible
Q. My gf has serious personal finance problems. Even though she makes more than enough to pay her expenses and save, she consistently spends her entire paycheck and sometimes overspends it. She's open to discussion and is often willing to cutback ...
A. 21 January 2014: May I ask, is all this money she is spending the money that she earns herself? Or is this money your money? You have spoken to her about cut backs on things and even though she has c... (read in full...)
I caught the man in lies and he finally came clean. No contact for 3 days--should I reach out to him?
Q. Ok so I started talking to this guy, who I met online, 8 months ago. We live two states away from each other and started developing this amazing emotional connection. We did eventually meet and the connection was even stronger. About three months i...
A. 21 January 2014: This is a huge problem when it comes to online relationships, you have no idea if a person is telling the truth. He has lied to you about this, and I hate to say but there could be so much more, how do y... (read in full...)
In a new relationship after a first love, and I'm confused that I don't feel that spark!
Q. About 7 months ago I went through terrible breakup with my 'first love/relationship'. About 2 months later I met the girl that is my current girlfriend. We dated for 3 months before making things official (The only thing I regret is having sex with ...
A. 21 January 2014: Some of your problem seems to stem around the fact that you both had sex with eachother to early, and maybe even got together to early. Like you said with your first girlfriend, you spent a year chasing her, and I bet when you... (read in full...)
He said, she said, so what should I say?
Q. Ok so basically this is what happened my crush called my sister a tramp and he was like I shouldn't be mad but then he went on to say that he don't like people calling him ratchet . I did at some hurtful things to him but he said some rude things as ...
A. 21 January 2014: If someone called my sister a tramp, or muttered a bad word about my family then i'd probably leave them right there and then. I had a boyfriend once who was racist to my best friend in an argument, and I dumped him there and then. ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome this resentment?
Q. I have been married for 2 years. My marriage started on a wrong note, because husband treated me awfully; neglecting me, treating me like his slave, demeaning, mental torture,just the treatment that no human being ever deserves. I think he wanted to ...
A. 21 January 2014: This sounds disgusting, and you need to remember you a human being and not someones slave. Whether he wanted to set his boundaries or not mentally abusing or neglecting someone is not what you do. If he was... (read in full...)
I want to marry a female and have children but I am a gay male.
Q. I want to marry a female and have children but I am a gay male. Please help. ...
A. 20 January 2014: I think maybe if you could elaborate on this it would be great :)
We as aunts and uncles can work better with more information.
From what you have written though, if you are a gay man why would you want to marry a women?
... (read in full...)
Is he interested or not?
Q. 2 weeks ago on a Friday night I went out in a nightclub in central London and met a 24 year old banker, who is single and a nice guy. I am 21 years old and go to university about 2 hours away from London. My home is in London (where my parents ...
A. 20 January 2014: You obviously don't know much about this guy as you met him in a club, and its very common for people you meet in clubs to seem all interested and then just stop talking..
Its kinda shitty but it does... (read in full...)
Any tips to look pretty?
Q. just looking for a bit of advice, I don't wear makeup on a daily basis, i.e just popping the shops ect, I like to give my skin a rest to avoid spots ect. if meeting friends during the day or popping along to the pub I will wear some makeup, a ...
A. 20 January 2014: To be honest it sounds like you are doing everything right in order to look your best, but maybe its because you are lacking confidence as all of your compliments have dissapeared. You do know it shows when you are lacking confiden... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me out of the blue and I'm feeling lost
Q. My boyfriend and I were together over 3 years. 2 weeks ago he told me that he has nothing to offer me. He called himself a pathetic piece of shit that can't get off his ass and take care of stuff that needs to be taken care of. He said that he wants ...
A. 20 January 2014: I believe from what you have said he is hurting just as much as you, and ontop of his depression to be honest I don't think he is in the right state of mind. He has gotten himself so wrapped up in his own problems... (read in full...)
Unplanned pregnancy after 1 month of dating and my baby's father isn't staying in regular contact with me!
Q. I am a 28 years old and pregnant for the first time. The pregnany was unplanned and came as a shock as it happened exactly after a month that me and this guy had started dating. I was living in a muslim country and since I was unmarried I had ...
A. 19 January 2014: I am not going to give you a lecture on protection, because you are an adult and of course know about all of that, but the important thing is you have a little life to take care of, and if you are going to go through with having the baby then you ... (read in full...)
Tired of my boyfriend's crap!
Q. Not sure where else to post this but hoping for some advice. My boyfriend, who is 34, and I have been living together for 3 years and I have asked him to clean up after himself in the bathroom many times. Specifically, he sits on the toilet in su...
A. 19 January 2014: Oh my goodness! I agree with you it is disgusting and I too wouldn't stand for it.
I've had boyfriends who left skid marks, and I would tell them that if they didn't clean it up then I wouldn't do certain things for them.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me out of the blue and I'm feeling lost
Q. My boyfriend and I were together over 3 years. 2 weeks ago he told me that he has nothing to offer me. He called himself a pathetic piece of shit that can't get off his ass and take care of stuff that needs to be taken care of. He said that he wants ...
A. 19 January 2014: I am really sorry to hear that you are going through so much pain and feel really hurt, but anyone who just came out of a 3.5 year relationship will do.
You seem to of followed all the right steps in order to reco... (read in full...)
Aunt died a year ago on the 11th due to cancer, now I'm being tested for it. Advice?
Q. Hello my aunts and uncles! I really could do with a tad of advice as I am slightly worried. I do not expect any medical advice and only wish for some support and general opinions. My aunt died a y...
A. 3 December 2013: The reason he has booked me in for a blood test to see if I have cancer is because aparently having bleeding from the mouth and ears (forgot to mention ears) is not very common and could be linked to cancer. I'm very to hear ... (read in full...)
Almost 17 and I feel like I'm having an identiy crisis, what do I do?
Q. For the last couple of months I've been feeling like i'm having an identity crisis. Throughout my whole life I have never been comfortable with my looks and self image, but it appears at this point in my life it is more ...
A. 22 November 2013: Thankyou everyone for your wonderful advice! I appreciate it so much. First of all I know its typical for a teenager to feel this way, after all i'm only 16 but sometimes I get so wrapped up in worrying about how I look where I'm going an... (read in full...)
Should I visit my old workplace again and try again? Or should I forget her?
Q. I was working at a company for about 8 months. There was a girl there who came from where I am originally from. When I started working there we had a long chat and she said she would love to talk more and really enjoyed it, but needed to get back...
A. 29 October 2013: This one is very hard to tell, women are strange creatures after all.
She could be interested in you, or she could just feel you are a good friend, maybe that day when you went and saw her and said hello, she may of just had a hard day ... (read in full...)
I don't want to let go of my ex ... what do his recent actions mean?!
Q. I fell for a guy just over a year ago and we got together, we were together for a couple of months and everyday he would message me 24/7 and I would message him back, we'd talk until all hours of the morning until one of us fell asleep. It was ...
A. 29 October 2013: Obviously for whatever reason he doesn't think that this relationship is going to work and even though he may mention you to your friends, doesn't mean he wants to get back with you. He is going to miss you, just as you miss him, bec... (read in full...)
Having trouble adjusting after moving back home
Q. When I spent a year working in Australia, I met the man of my dreams. He trained at a gym which had a coffee shop nearby, so as I worked there I saw him daily. After a few weeks of flirting, he asked me out and started dating. When my year was up we ...
A. 26 October 2013: First of all I know it may be hard, but you need to get him out of your life. Its been 3 years now! You need to let go of him and rid him from your life or you are never going to be able to go forward as he will keep dragging you back... (read in full...)
Is he afraid to commit because of his past... or what?
Q. I dated a man for 3 months. He was very good to me and chased me. I had no doubt that he was really into me. Things were going well and progressing. However, Towards the end he was pulling away from me and very distant. We broke up and went no ...
A. 26 October 2013: WOAH! He definitely sounds like he is rushing into things when he is already talking about the possibility of children. First things first, before you continue with this man if at all, you need to tell him to not rush ahead, get head ove... (read in full...)
Is asking your separated spouse for sex wrong, we were on very good terms
Q. My wife and I are separated for 4 years, it's a long story of infidelity on her part and neglect on my part. I have accepted the situation for what it is and to help keep peace in the family. We have 2 adult children. Recently she asked me to go ...
A. 26 October 2013: Just because you have done lots for her in your time doesn't mean she owes you ANYTHING! Firstly asking her to have sex with you after she visted her sick brother would of probably come off as inconsiderate and at t... (read in full...)
Is it OK for me to ask a girl to dress the way I like girls to dress when we go out?
Q. I would appreciate opinions on how to approach this, or indeed if to say anything at all. I seem to have some type of "fetish" where if a girl is dressed in a certain kind of way, she becomes irresistable to me. Not sluttish, certain types of...
A. 26 August 2013: You could put in a few hints and say how lovely she looked in her previous outfits and you think she would look beautiful in a dress.
I've always thought its very romantic when a man buys you a dress to go out to a date in, its ... (read in full...)
After six months I know something isn't right
Q. hi i have a boyfriend who moved in with me three months ago we even got engaged. the thing is for the last two weeks i feel like he is having second thoughts. he still has boxes upstairs and when i suggest to unpack them he just shrugs as if i am ...
A. 16 August 2013: Sometimes when you and your partner decide to move in with eachother things can take a big turn. A lot of people like there own space, and when you move in with someone things can change dramatically as living w... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has been ignoring my messages, I feel like she is seeing someone else
Q. So I want to keep this short because most people wont read it if its really long. My girlfriend has been short with me this week and distant she doesn't send me cute good morning texts and goodnight which makes me lead to the decision that she is ...
A. 16 August 2013: When people are distant or do not reply to texts, it does normally mean they have something else on there minds. This doesn't nesscairly mean that she is seeing someone else, but obviously whatever... (read in full...)
I regret breaking up with my girl, now I want to make up with her
Q. I think I made a mistake in ending my relationship with a girl who was deeply in love with me. I had reasons but did not make it known to her. She was quiet confused, but just agreed for our separation. I'd love to make up with her but will she be ...
A. 16 August 2013: Ovbiously she may not be the most happiest women in the world, as you did break up with her, which may of left her unhappy and confused. How long ago did you break up with her? If it has been over a long period of time, she coul... (read in full...)
Does this sound like a normal stag night or should I be concerned?
Q. I'm 28, my fiance's 31, we've been a couple for 5 years now, engaged for 2. We live in Southport, England. His stag weekend is coming up in 6 weeks, and this is what he's doing [quoted from itinerary]: STAG NIGHT WITH THE LADS ATTENDING: John [...
A. 16 August 2013: This to be honest sounds like a normal stag do, and if you feel you trust him then of course this is nothing to be worried about.
If it would put your worries to rest, ask one of his friends who is going with him to keep an eye on him ... (read in full...)
Ex blew his chances. Whats the next step?
Q. Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, due to him being a serial cheat. We had been together for 5 months, having a one month break up in the middle. We broke up due to him both sleeping with someone else and sending pictures and flirting...
A. 2 August 2013: Ahh thankyou. I know there is no rush, I have just had a bit of a compulsion to have someone there to kind of, well just look after me everyday really and reassure me that somebody loves me.
I'm kind of realizing however that bein... (read in full...)
Ex blew his chances. Whats the next step?
Q. Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, due to him being a serial cheat. We had been together for 5 months, having a one month break up in the middle. We broke up due to him both sleeping with someone else and sending pictures and flirting...
A. 2 August 2013: Thankyou for the feedback its good to hear what other peoples opinions are on this. I have deleted his number and he is blocked on every single social networking site I have. We haven't spoken since and I am happy n... (read in full...)
I'm feeling rubbish about myself because I can't get my girlfriend to orgasm!
Q. I'm good at getting girls off and always been very confident about it. My new girlfriend acts just like the others getting closer and closer until its like she's about to orgasm when she pushes me away saying everything is too sensitive. I'm used to ...
A. 26 June 2013: I have had a similar problem with a boyfriend infact. I always liked to think I was reasonably okay at sex, and non of my previous boyfriends had ever complained. I ha... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 26 June 2013: Wow! This guy sounds like a nut job! I'm sorry but I agree with you, who randomly bites someone? If it was me i'd most definitely get up straight away and leave and tell him I never wanted to see him again. ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex contacting me and even wanting to have a pajama party??
Q. I havn't seen my ex boyfriend who dumped and left me alone in another state for nearly 3 months though he has phoned me regularly like once a week since leaving. I have now returned to the same state as him and been here for 3 weeks. He has done ...
A. 25 June 2013: Its very obvious hes trying on his luck, he thinks that maybe if he cooks you some dinner and has a pyjama party he might be able to win you round and be in with another chance. I find men do things like that a lot once they break up with som... (read in full...)
Is it bad that I've never had a kiss or relationship at 16?
Q. is it bad that im 16 and still haven't my first kiss, or better yet a realationship at all? I feel like im the only one at school that hasn't even had a guy that has said anything nice to me yet. :(...
A. 22 June 2013: I know exactly how you feel, as I was growing into a teenager, I used to constantly think things like this through. When I was about 12-13, I was very different, compared to the other girls in my school, I didn't fit in, I was very over wei... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has had a history of cheating, and the paranoia has gotten too much. Help?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months now and tbh i'm now wondering where I stand and in general what to do. In the first 3 months of this relationship, my boyfriend cheated on me. ...
A. 15 June 2013: Thankyou once again for your feedback. Things have well esculated since my last post. Since this, he has been messaging me via text and telling me how much he loves me, how i'm the only girl in... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from sending messages to a man who isn't interested in me?
Q. I met a guy who's 2 years younger than me in a dating site. At first, he was very much interested in chatting with me, in meeting me, and was even telling me that i was more important than his work, so he wanted to chat with me more in the middle of ...
A. 13 June 2013: Okay. I'm sorry to tell you this but sometimes when you met someone via the internet or messaging this can happen. They might meet you and not really feel the same spark as you or they could suddenly just dec... (read in full...)
How can I convince my ex that it was he who drove me away?
Q. My ex boyfriend split up with me six weeks ago he said he wanted a break. My and my ex used to argue a lot over him going out really. He has also cheated on me a few months ago so I feel like I can't really trust him. After my ex split with me ...
A. 13 June 2013: So your ex has gone crazy because you are staying in a guys house who HAS a girlfriend? Real that's insane? You see I find a lot of guys who cheat on girls then end up getting back with them also in a way develop trust issues t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has had a history of cheating, and the paranoia has gotten too much. Help?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months now and tbh i'm now wondering where I stand and in general what to do. In the first 3 months of this relationship, my boyfriend cheated on me. ...
A. 13 June 2013: Thankyou for all of your advice. First of all i'd like to clear a couple of things up, he was not living with me no, I kicked him out that night as he was meant to be sleeping round my house, and I am receivin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tried to cheat, so I left. Did I do the right thing?
Q. Well..Basically i broke up with my current boyfriend sometime last week. It was hard because I had faith that he was different, but I guess not. I've had two serious relationships since being a te...
A. 13 March 2013: Thankyou for your answers, they have really given me some faith. I never found out if he actually cheated on me, but there was a situation where we had only been a month in and he was accused of kissing a girl at a party. We came to t... (read in full...)
Mother's strong opinions make her tough to be around
Q. My mum is far too opinionated and it's getting very stressful to deal with. For example, my female friend has just ended a relationship with her boyfriend to go out with a girl. My mum thinks this is a phase and someone needs to sit her down and ...
A. 10 February 2013: She is right, everyone is intitiled to there own opinion, but then again you are also intitled to disagree. You must remember that you and your mother have been brought up in different times, differen... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 9 February 2013: Tbh, its his choice not mine. If he can afford to spend that amount of money on me then yeah he can.
I haven't told him to nor do I expect him to do something like that, he did it out of the kindness of his hear... (read in full...)
What can I do? I don't like it when he calls me bad names, but I'm also scared of him.
Q. I have been hanging out with this man for about 5 months, he says we are just friends but we act more like a couple, heres my question!! I have been giving him b j a lot and there have been times he pushes my head down and he calls me bad names a ...
A. 9 February 2013: First of all, have you tried to tell him you don't like this? If he’s not listening to you it’s a very serious thing, you need to get away from him like any normal women would. If you’re scared of him then that’s an even bigger reason to st... (read in full...)
Can anyone please explain to me how it's possible to be too sweet?
Q. Can anyone please explain to me how it's possible to be too sweet? Last weekend when I went out with a girl I've known a few years, we got a little drunk and totally unexpected she kissed me, I've liked this girl since the moment I met her but be...
A. 9 February 2013: She may have meant that you being too sweet could simply mean that you are maybe a bit too shy and sensible. You see, I am a very strong character, I like having a joke around, with the guys I go out with they have to be able to have a joke back ... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 9 February 2013: The gift is sentimental to me, because it is a cross necklace. The first cross necklace I got was when I was with my aunt, who passed away 3 months ago due to cancer. Since I got that first cross necklace and it unfortunately broke, all the most imp... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 8 February 2013: I won't decline the gift simply because I was offended when he didn't like that hat that I bought him, I couldn't even begin to imagine how annoyed I would be if someone gave me a £120 gift back, not to mention as it was bought online you can't get ... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 8 February 2013: 2 months, If your unsure about which one please read the bottom part of my bio.
I will admit I didn't ask for anything this expensive, and I did feel very bad about taking it, but it was a nice thought atleast, I gave him the ... (read in full...)
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