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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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I feel like I failed as a girlfriend
Q. I'm feeling hurt and in need of some advice.. I talked to my ex boyfriend recently (whom I am still in love with) and he said although I was "great" he was unhappy in our relationship. I am very hurt by this because I really tried my absolute best...
A. 16 April 2014: I know its hard to think this, but there is nothing wrong with you.
Sometimes we can try our very best to make someone happy, and it still won't work, and if you know you tried your best to make him happy and he still wasn't happy, there is o... (read in full...)
Break or no break?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and lately we've been having more conflicts than usual. We've been spending a lot of time together these past months and seeing each other almost every day unless we each other have plans. He's usually ...
A. 15 April 2014: days* not weeks, silly me!... (read in full...)
Break or no break?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and lately we've been having more conflicts than usual. We've been spending a lot of time together these past months and seeing each other almost every day unless we each other have plans. He's usually ...
A. 14 April 2014: I think like you said you need to attempt to to talk this out first. I think you should both sit down with eachother and tell eachother what you feel is wrong, if it breaks out into an argument then just walk away from it. ... (read in full...)
Is she just using me for attention?
Q. So me and this girl have a history in that we tried going out but she decided it wasn't working, that's was about five months ago.. anyway she moved on very quickly. We were good friends before and we still kind of are. But in the last months I ...
A. 14 April 2014: Wait a second, is she seeing someone at this moment in time? However she is still talking to you and you have planned to go on a meal together? I think this could end up going down the wrong p... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes my little sister!
Q. I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for the past 5 months.about two weeks ago I've been noticing that my boyfriend has been messing with my little sister. What I mean by messing with her I mean like talking and hanging out with her more it ...
A. 14 April 2014: I think you should defiantly talk to him about it, tell him about the rumours and ask him straight up if he likes your sister.
You'll be able to tell if hes lying or nervous from his body language, and if your gut instinct tells you he's... (read in full...)
Will my mom get over me moving out with bf?
Q. I am moving in with my boyfriend of almost four years and my mom is upset. I made all the arrangements before telling her and she apparently feels that was disrespectful. If I had discussed it before hand I think that would have felt too much li...
A. 14 April 2014: I think due to your mum being catholic she feels that you and this boyfriend of yours might be getting up to no good and she doesn't want you to go against her religon. I have Catholic relatives, and they... (read in full...)
Shouldn't people be more honest on online dating sites or do I expect too much?
Q. After a long break from online dating, I recently re activated my account. Maybe out of boredom, I don't know. I am making new friends and trying to meet people that way, but making no progress in finding available men. So I starting exchang...
A. 14 April 2014: I don't think people are entitled to tell you about their lives until you actually ask them. It might of been personal to him or he might of been worried once he said that women would go off him, which is kind of what happened. ... (read in full...)
Should I even bother? The guy I like lives several states away!
Q. Ahhhh I need help! I haven't had these butterflies in my tummy in a long time. Usually it would be a good thing, except the guy I'm feeling this for has to go back home to New Jersey! I live in Texas! He's a close friends brother. We talked on ...
A. 14 April 2014: If you feel like you could handle having a long distance relationship then go for it. You need to know if you'd feel okay with some of the things long distance relationships invovle, such as not seeing eachother for ages... (read in full...)
Feeling like I will never have a boyfriend.
Q. Hi, I am having a problem I'm only 21 which I know is considered pretty young, but I feel like I will never have a boyfriend. I've had a couple of 'boyfriends' back in high school that didn't really last long and they weren't that serious about me...
A. 13 April 2014: Hey! Even though I am younger than you, I have found myself in the same position as you.
I have only had boyfriends during my highschool days and they were a complete joke, since then I haven't met anyone special, my town... (read in full...)
Why would he give me his number then ignore me?
Q. Hey, I met this guy who said he was interested in me, he looked So too because he always seem to b staring at me.he gave e his numberaAnd asked me to text him for him to get my number, I text him that same night just said "Hi" And he rang me was to ...
A. 13 April 2014: A lot of people end up doing things like this so don't feel down-hearted.
Some people will exchange numbers and then not bother to reply to the person for whatever reason. Some of them just can't be bothered, some of them have seco... (read in full...)
Confused by this lady
Q. Hi all, I have met this woman she's 39 and I'm 38, things had been going really well over the last month or so but then she told me she has fallen in love with me and would love to spend her future with me, I'm not scared off or anything but she ...
A. 13 April 2014: If you want me to be honest, it seems that this lady here may have some set backs due to her previous relationship.
If she is asking you constantly how you feel about her, it may be because she does... (read in full...)
I feel out of place.
Q. Does anyone have problems with the changes that happen in your life as you get older? When I was younger I was pretty happy in life. In middle and high school I had some close friends and eventually had a first long term boyfriend. W...
A. 13 April 2014: I can tell you as a fellow teenager this is completely normal and happens to the best of us. Two years a go I had more friends than I could handle, a long term boyfriend, and a promising future in highschool. ... (read in full...)
Is it just human nature to be never thankful ?
Q. Hi I was wondering why sometimes in our lives when are having a normal life ; stable relationship and everything going on nicely ; we still think of our few crushes we had in our lives which makes us question that maybe this is something I don'...
A. 13 April 2014: I think once you start to love or like someone that person will always have a special place in your heart just because you thought of them in a loving way. Sometimes we as human beings miss small things people d... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I need to just be blunt, ask him his salary and then maybe nip it in the bud if it is too little money. Should I be honest?
Q. I'm in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would maybe prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a sweet guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very ...
A. 13 April 2014: Maybe you should get to know this person before hand, go out on a date with him, get to know him personally before thinking about the money, you migth surprise yourself. I think if you like a person g... (read in full...)
I left this woman to go back to my ex but I've never stopped thinking of her. Should I contact her?
Q. Hello, well about two years ago i met someone, it lasted about three months, she treated me fantastic, but then my ex poped back into the picture, she treated me really bad , even hit me but I was in love with her, so i dumped the new one, went back ...
A. 12 April 2014: I don't think you should try walking back into this womans life.
And to be honest even if you did she may well just push you straight back out of it. And I don't think either you or her needs that at this moment in time.
... (read in full...)
Do I confront him or ignore him when he makes these snide comments?
Q. Dearcupid, ive just stopped seeing a guy that i never should have seen in the first place. I was very lonely and his company made me feel good. The relationship started off great but it ended. I kno i am better off witout him. He had a lot of ...
A. 12 April 2014: Unfortunately this is exactly what he wanted to happen. He wants to make out now your no longer in his life, hes living it large and no longer cares. These snide remarks are just him trying to get to you a... (read in full...)
Could it be he prefers other girls but settles for me because I'm so eager to spend time with him?
Q. Hello. I have a complicated relationship with my best friend. We have known each other for two years now, and have spent a whole lot of time getting to know each other. In fact, we're together so much we are mistaken for a couple all of the time. ...
A. 11 April 2014: I think its because he has a different relationship with you compared to these other girls. After all you two are best friends, so over the 2 years you have known each other he may of developed a friendly relation... (read in full...)
Return it or wear it?
Q. My boyfriend got me a solid rose gold bangle for my birthday. It's simple, thin band that's beautiful. It's exactly my style. Only problem is that I have tiny wrists and big hands and it sits a little uncomfortable on my arm. Rubs against my wrist ...
A. 11 April 2014: He has told you to change it, so there is no problem there :) Go ahead and change it, you won't hurt his feelings I promise you.
Also are you planning to change it, so its the same bracelet just a different style? Therefore its still prac... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to feel less useless if my mother shouts at me and criticizes me all the time?
Q. I've decided I am going to try to get counselling because I feel very horribly about myself because my mother is very harsh on me and treats me like everything that goes wrong is my fault. She snaps at me all of the time when nothing has happ...
A. 11 April 2014: If your mother is making you feel intimidated, depressed or un-happy about yourself on a daily basis, then that does come under emotional neglect. You should know that it doesn't matter who a person is, whether its your mot... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels about me?
Q. How do can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels towards me? I recently broke up with my boyfriend and not on good terms I basically wrote to him on Facebook messages that I was cheating on him and it's best if we called it ...
A. 11 April 2014: Now, you see this is where your going to have to put yourself in his shoes. Imagine you were in love with someone, then one day they messaged you via facebook (not to your face), telling you they had been cheating on you. ... (read in full...)
Between family and school I'm just too tired to perform like I used to
Q. I feel stupid writing this but I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just…I don’t know what’s going on. Ever since I hit my second year at uni, my motivation has plummeted. I had (and still have) a lot of things going on at home, like my ...
A. 10 April 2014: It sounds to me straight away that you could be suffering with depression. Does everything to you seem like a stuggle? Even things you enjoy? Does the thought of having to do anything make you feel tired or weak? Does the thought ... (read in full...)
Facebook friend question
Q. Just a quick question. I want to know would you think it was strange/weird if someone sends you a Facebook request when although you've chatted briefly you haven't exchanged names. Would you think it was odd how they managed to find out your na...
A. 10 April 2014: Id say the older you are the more un-common it is. I find people who are older tend to just have close friends on facebook and maybe some family and other distant friends. ... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: If you have any reason at all to believe that this man has HIV you should tell her boyfriend straight away. It is actually a criminal offence for someone to sleep with another person before telling them the... (read in full...)
Do people tend to stick with life plans they made early on, or do other priorities start to take over?
Q. This is a very brief question I have, but how many of you stuck to life plans that you made in your teens? I stuck to the same job I wanted in my early teens and went to the university that I wanted to go to in my teens, but I know it's highly u...
A. 9 April 2014: Even though I am still a teenager, I can tell you that I am in a complete different position to what I planned to do just months ago. When I started at college I planned to be finished by the time I was 18, but due to having to re-take ... (read in full...)
Do men find a curved tummy a turn off?
Q. I was wondering if men find a curved tummy a turn off? I'm not overweight by any means (although I used to be), nor am I particularly thin. I'm probably relatively average for girls my age in my country (about size 10, 5ft7/170cm, 65kg/143lb)but my ...
A. 9 April 2014: If you have a boyfriend who is happy with you then I really wouldn't worry about it. Think about it like this, if he didn't like the way you looked he wouldn't be with you, and I think when people are self concious about ho... (read in full...)
He won't spend any time with my friends or family? I have to beg for him to do so!
Q. Hey everyone so I have a question. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and two months. We live together as well. The problem is he wont go around my friends or family at all like he used to and he doesnt take me around his friends ...
A. 9 April 2014: It does sound strange how one minute it wasn't a problem and now he hides away everytime a friend or family member comes over. It sounds just like what teenagers do when they don't want to interact with someone. M... (read in full...)
If he likes me why avoid touching me?
Q. please help me understand this if a guy likes a girl why would he avoid touching her.? there is one of my male friend he talks to me stares me does everything that makes me and my friends feel he likes me but he avoids to touch me he does touches ...
A. 9 April 2014: He probably does like you. But perhaps he is very shy and nervous about it. He might not touch you in anyway because he is so shy or may feel like hes going to scare you off or come across as innapropriate. I... (read in full...)
Are cheaters always cheaters?
Q. My ex constantly cheated when we were dating. I was even the one he cheated on his ex with. I forgave him everytime because I loved him and thought he loved me to death according to the commitment he gave and he would beg his parents and friends to ...
A. 9 April 2014: Cheating is always an awful and hard expeirence to go through. Especially when you love a person so much and unfortunately for you they cannot stay committed. Dealing with cheating is harder than it ... (read in full...)
May have to drop out of college, is there any hope for me if I do?
Q. Hey! I'd like to share something with you all and just gain some opinions and maybe some stories from others who may of not been able to continue with there education. As most of you guys already know I have Bipolar, and ontop of that I a...
A. 29 March 2014: Thankyou Aunt Westie. That gives me a lot more faith to know that it is possible to go and get a job.
And Malletchick, I have already dropped one subject, its not always the work load which makes it diff... (read in full...)
May have to drop out of college, is there any hope for me if I do?
Q. Hey! I'd like to share something with you all and just gain some opinions and maybe some stories from others who may of not been able to continue with there education. As most of you guys already know I have Bipolar, and ontop of that I a...
A. 28 March 2014: Thankyou so much chigirl. That has helped me out loads! I just get so worried when it comes to things like that, my college like many others, really like to put on the pressure. ... (read in full...)
My self-esteem issues are getting in the way of my life! Advice?
Q. Hey Guys! Little situation I need some help with and your input would be great. I am a 17 year old female, and I am currently at college and I have Bipolar as many of you may know. Before I share my problem...
A. 19 February 2014: Okay. I'll admit for once I do not know what to do anymore. I don't want therapy because they let me down, I don't want it because it makes me feel like a freak, it takes up time when I have... (read in full...)
My self-esteem issues are getting in the way of my life! Advice?
Q. Hey Guys! Little situation I need some help with and your input would be great. I am a 17 year old female, and I am currently at college and I have Bipolar as many of you may know. Before I share my problem...
A. 19 February 2014: Well thankyou for your advice like loads, but this isn't the only time i've been let down by the system and even though thats how it is and I am aware it sucks, its not helping anymore. I guess thats the bottom line, it just isn't doing an... (read in full...)
My self-esteem issues are getting in the way of my life! Advice?
Q. Hey Guys! Little situation I need some help with and your input would be great. I am a 17 year old female, and I am currently at college and I have Bipolar as many of you may know. Before I share my problem...
A. 19 February 2014: Thankyou for your feedback so far. I'd just like to say the reason why therapy is a no go is because the system is flawed. I know this might sound strange, but therapy has helped me so much, it has don... (read in full...)
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
Q. Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
A. 19 February 2014: Sounds like a good top 5 iAmHereToHelpYou x Pretty similar to mine, I can't deal with the sexism, racisms ones either :L
And TaylorSwiftFan, I have read your article, you are 13, you shouldn't even... (read in full...)
How do you feel about social media? It seems to cause problems for me.
Q. How do you guys feel about social media, especially Facebook? Do you think it's worth it to have one? Has it ever caused any problems for you? I'm asking this because it seems to cause a lot of insecurity within myself and other problems. I am n...
A. 1 February 2014: Facebook in the past have caused loads of problems to me.
It all started when I was 14 and encountered cyber bullying, I was very unwell at the time and got lots of people leaving sarcastic comm... (read in full...)
Can't sleep after giving up medication. Please help?
Q. I really need some help. For those of you who do not know last year in the summer I was diagnosed with Bipolar. Its a really difficult illness to live with and I can't say a day ...
A. 24 January 2014: Thank you IAmHereToHelpYou, you are right its a difficult situation and some people just don't get it.
And thats exactly what it feels like, my life is moving slower than everyone elses. Thanks for the insi... (read in full...)
Can't sleep after giving up medication. Please help?
Q. I really need some help. For those of you who do not know last year in the summer I was diagnosed with Bipolar. Its a really difficult illness to live with and I can't say a day ...
A. 24 January 2014: Thanks for the wise words Cindy Care but I know this might be super surprising but the reason why we have taken to my local GP is because the Psychiatric doctor who I have at a mental health adolescent centre is like what you described the GP being ... (read in full...)
Can't sleep after giving up medication. Please help?
Q. I really need some help. For those of you who do not know last year in the summer I was diagnosed with Bipolar. Its a really difficult illness to live with and I can't say a day ...
A. 24 January 2014: Thankyou all for your wise and helpful information. I eventually gave up last night and took my pill because I just couldn't handle it. First of all there are just one or two things I nee... (read in full...)
First time sex and I didn't bleed... should I see my gyno?
Q. Please i need an explanation i just had sex with my fiance for the first time,and he knows i am a virgin but the problem now is i didn't bleed at all just excruciating pains...please i don't know if that is normal or should i see the gynocologist ...
A. 22 January 2014: Your hymen is the thing which bleeds when some people have sex for the first time.
However its a huge mis-conception that all women bleed the first time they have sex.
Loads of... (read in full...)
I want to make amends for my social awkwardness
Q. Lately I have made many mistakes, one after the other. While some might seem small, this one I can understand my mistake and why she is angry. Someone I once knew walked past me while playing pool in a large group. I would'nt call them a friend, b...
A. 22 January 2014: I think you need to tell her that you find socializing with big groups hard and tell her you do not mean to be rude you just don't know what to say or how to introduce her. I think if she understa... (read in full...)
Her training to fight makes me feel insecure.
Q. I'm in a fairly new relationship with a woman I adore. Our courtship lasted a bit long but we didn't want to get into a relationship just after a few weeks of admitting we liked each other. After a little over a year, we became happily official. T...
A. 22 January 2014: She might well talk so aggressively about how she fights due to the fact she had to defend herself against her boyfriend.
Fighting for her might bring back memories and remind her of what she ... (read in full...)
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