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Hello! I have not been on this site for a very long time due to committments with college and just life in general, but I am proud to announce that due to changes in events I will be attempting yet again to make this a permanent hobbie. :)
I have always enjoyed giving advice and as I have gotten older I am proud to say that I am able to realize that I do give good advice. I have many friends who do come to me seeking advice, and I always try to see both ends of the spectrum and feel that judging people is not a good way to help them.
I also apologize to all those who sent inbox's to me since I went away and I am now going to try my best to answer all of the messages I get within the same week. Now on with the questions!
What qualifies you to help people?
I have nothing offical that says I am able to help people, but I have a unique prespective on things which enables me to understand how someone must feel. I at a very young age had to be exposed to things that were out of mine and my families control and as my teenage years approached, I saw many more problems arising. My main reason as too whyI enjoy helping people is because I myself have been in positions where I needed an outsiders point of view. I think websites like this allow people to get honest advice on situations that some people might not be able to talk about to those around them.
However I do believe that some aunts and uncles on this site can be too forceful, as after all this site is about advice and no one is inclined to be forced to take it. I believe that harsh advice just makes people feel worse about a situation which why I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way, as only the OP truly understand the problems they have.
Where do you live?
I live in the UK, England, in a small coastal town which is the most easternly point in England and even though this town may seem like a nice little haven for tourists every summer, it has been incredibly hard to grow up surrounded by people who you have known since nursery. Also as I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone's business which is more a hindrance than anything. Hard times as of late, have fallen upon my town due to the recession and because of the lack of opportunities, however hopefully I will be able to think about where else I would like to live in the foreseeable future.
What makes you tick?
All sorts of things. I can't stand selfish people or ungrateful people... I think everyone should value what they have as in this day and age there is more important issues at hand than who has the newest Iphone. I think my generation is far too materialistic and I hate it when people are brought up getting everything handed to them on a plate, as from a young age I had to fight for everything I have. I also don't like judgemental people or liar's, who has time for those sort of people anyway? ;)
What's your relationship status?
I am currently in a relationship :) And so far it is going well. I am not very experienced when it comes too relationships as I have only ever had two, and both of them I had at a a very young age. I do believe that relationships are definitely better to have when you are an adult, as I found the stress and strain of both of my relationships took a lot of fun out of what should been the best years of my life. I am hoping that this relationship turns out well as I had been single before now for a good year or so. So all I can do is hope for the best :)
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| Latest articles: Domestic Abuse: My Story- Part 1
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 July 2015: Okay... Well basically I have recently come out of an abusive relationship and I have had a lot of time to sit and reflect on my relationship as a whole, and I have decided I want to share my story of domestic abuse, as an attempt to both educate ...
Dating tip: determine your five non-negotiables!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2014: Hey! Been a while since i've done one of these and I just want to share a little tip with those who might be dating or have had some trouble with relationships in the past and might want to find a way to find someone who they aren't going to get ...
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 December 2012: I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 December 2011: At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
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5 December 2011: Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2011: Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
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Sexual joke gone wrong. Help!
Q. ok. i have a strange dilemma with a girl i work with. I have known this girl for about 2 years, and she knows I like her. She knows I like her for her, so it isn't based on a lust. She does have a boyfriend that she has complained that he "doesn't ...
A. 10 August 2011: Well it sounds like she might be having abit of a rough time at the moment. I reckon you should go with the bestfriend and just leave it a while before you talk to her about the whole facebook thing.
And if your... (read in full...)
Dating 2 weeks and already there are problems
Q. So I just started dating this girl 2 weeks ago and already there are problems. We met a year and 7 months ago when she was dating another guy named Hunter, and even though I reaaly liked her, I wasn't going to try and break them up. So they dated ...
A. 9 August 2011: Hey, Well unfortunely this does sound like she is not over Hunter at all and unfortunely she probably does still love him. As im sure you know when you go through a breakup everyone needs recovery time, if you started dating about a month af... (read in full...)
Sexual joke gone wrong. Help!
Q. ok. i have a strange dilemma with a girl i work with. I have known this girl for about 2 years, and she knows I like her. She knows I like her for her, so it isn't based on a lust. She does have a boyfriend that she has complained that he "doesn't ...
A. 9 August 2011: Hey, well if her boyfriend is basically abit of an arsehole do you reckon shes blocked you to simplely stop him from asking qeustions or finding out ? The amount of people i have met in my time who are ... (read in full...)
Why do people take an instant dislike to me ?
Q. Hey, well i was wondering why people seem to take an instant dislike to me, or simpley start on me for no reason what so ever. i currently have one friend, i have tryed to get along with other people but they seem to either t...
A. 6 August 2011: Well thanks for all your comments. I will admit i find it hard to act natrual around people, i have social anxcity so i am nervous at pretty much everyone. I do try my best to act normal i don't do anything which is bascially asking for it.
... (read in full...)
I just want them to leave me alone. Suggestions?
Q. Hey, well basically ill try and keep it short and simple. About 7-8 months ago i left highschool because i had a mental break down and everything just went wrong. I fell out with pretty much all my friends, for different reasons, some of them i fell ...
A. 6 August 2011: Yeah sorry about that. I wrote this one first but my connection cut out just when i sent it, so i didnt think it had sent so i wrote another one. ... (read in full...)
Why do people take an instant dislike to me ?
Q. Hey, well i was wondering why people seem to take an instant dislike to me, or simpley start on me for no reason what so ever. i currently have one friend, i have tryed to get along with other people but they seem to either t...
A. 6 August 2011: People round here arent to nice. The strangers do it to alot of others as well who they don't know, there normally girls the same age as me if a little bit older. They are normally just looking for a fight, it just pisses me off and for some reason ... (read in full...)
Why do people take an instant dislike to me ?
Q. Hey, well i was wondering why people seem to take an instant dislike to me, or simpley start on me for no reason what so ever. i currently have one friend, i have tryed to get along with other people but they seem to either t...
A. 6 August 2011: Hey, well thank you for your feed back. I have infact asked my friend about a week ago what he thinks about me, and what im like, he said he likes me because im different and one of a kind, but i can worry to much and should stand up for myself ... (read in full...)
Can't stop having sex with this ugly girl. HELP!!!
Q. Right now I am currently married. The relationship has fizzled out the last few years. For the past 2 and a half years I have been having sex with this girl Jamie. Shes my age and has a daughter. The problem is that she is got a nice body but she is ...
A. 4 August 2011: P.S Also i hope you realize how wrong and cruel your actions have been, to take andvantage of someone in that way is a really horrible thing to do. I hope you realize the extent of your actions, and do not do things like this in the future again. As ... (read in full...)
Can't stop having sex with this ugly girl. HELP!!!
Q. Right now I am currently married. The relationship has fizzled out the last few years. For the past 2 and a half years I have been having sex with this girl Jamie. Shes my age and has a daughter. The problem is that she is got a nice body but she is ...
A. 4 August 2011: First of all "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" and you must find her somewhat attractive because you're able to shag her. There is no way that you can end this with her and her not being a crazy bitch about it, you have played w... (read in full...)
I want to draw a nude woman (not for sexual reasons), but I'm afraid to ask
Q. I am an 18 year old art student, and far from sad or weird. What I have always wanted to do is draw an undressed girl live, preferably someone I know, but have never had chance to do it. I want to ask someone, but am afraid of sounding creepy. Would ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hey, well maybe it isnt a good idea to ask someone you know and maybe go to a live nude painting session, as i am sure if you go to your local art college or wherever they should be able to arrange for you to go to one. ... (read in full...)
Asking the girl's friend if she will date me or not? Good or bad idea?
Q. We've become good friends over the past few months, very good friends. But, she remembers everything about me, all the little things, she lets me touch her and tickle her, something that I don't even do with my best friend of many years. I really ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hey, Well when i had my bestfriend who was a girl i would tell her everything, so it depends if you can trust the girl you like bestfreind as normanally girls to tend to tell eachother everything.
Maybe you should flirt with... (read in full...)
Which is considered more attractive - quiet or cocky? I can be both
Q. I'm a bit stuck. I don't want anyone to answer 'just be yourself', because it isn't that simple. I'm only 18 and still haven't really discovered myself. Sometimes I can be bubbly and confident [if perhaps a little annoying], and other times, deadly ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hello, well first of all both as you probably know has the same amount of down sides, if you are often quiet people tend not to recognise you and sometimes think you could be insecure and shy which is most the time is a turn off for girls, but its ... (read in full...)
Paranoia is ruining my life, I can't express myself any more
Q. Hey, sorry if this is really long and i'll stay to the point. Basically i think i have social anxiety, it's pretty ovbious but i havent been offically diagnosed with it. I am 14 years old and about 7 months back i suffered an extr...
A. 3 August 2011: Thankyou very much for your comment. First of all i will not be going back to the help center. Even tho it might sound stupid they put me and my family through more stress than good. They said that i was just a disobendent child who was refuseing to ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my man may be attracted to my good looking sister!
Q. I would like to understand if I am being unreasonable in my conclusions, or if my bf is covering up his blunder. Here’s the details of the situation: 1. My sister, I’ll call DD, is attractive and she has sort of a Betty Boop killer figure. S...
A. 2 August 2011: Hey. Well personally i do think you may be reading into this too much. It really depends what type of person your bf is, is he the sort that looks at other women at every chance he gets ? or is he the sort who loves you and only you and wouldnt ever ... (read in full...)
Tell me about love bites
Q. what is it called when a guy sucked or bites a girls neck? and will it go away? when?...
A. 2 August 2011: Its called a love bite or a hicky. It basically is just a bruise, and can go away with in about 2 weeks or a week... (read in full...)
Guys: Are you intimidated by pretty girls?
Q. ok so im going to ask a question which im sure many of you will find sounds shallow and conceited. but i genuinely am asking because i have a problem and im not fishing for compliments or trying to make anyone angry. so if you find this question...
A. 2 August 2011: Hey.Well first of all your not vain in thinking your good looking or hot. Vanity is when you consider yourself higher than other people and delibratly treat them like they are lower than you, so aslong as you don't do that its all good in the ... (read in full...)
14 year old guy never had a girlfriend
Q. I got a question. I don't usually compare myself to others at all but, all around me I see guys my age with girlfriends. They have girlfriends and had. While I haven't even had one yet. I don't look bad and I've got a pretty good personality. But I ...
A. 2 August 2011: Hey. Well i am a 14 year old girl and ive never had a boyfriend, so i would say that you are pretty normal. Most people think im okay looking and i have been told by alot of people that i have an amazing personality, but i think differently but any ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to spend time with me.....
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 3 years now and we've been living together for pretty much the whole time. Recently we started arguing a lot (before we'd obviously argue but we'd work it out straight away because it was over ...
A. 2 August 2011: Hello. Well it is aparent that you two not spending qaulity time with eachother is really putting a strain on your relotionship and surely he should as you are his girlfriend make more time for you.
You need to tell... (read in full...)
Why do girls think that all men are scum just because they weren't treated right by a guy once?
Q. It really bothers me when women say that all men are pigs and all men are scum. When I hear girls say that, it kind of offends me. I am a nice guy. Every time I'm around a girl, I'm always a gentleman. (Hold doors open for them, pick up things when ...
A. 31 July 2011: Hello. Well i to am a girl and i also think it is rather judgemental and mean when a girl ses all guys are scum but at the same time im equally offended as when a guy says all girls are slappers.
Maybe it is because these girl... (read in full...)
Do shallow people lead better, easier and more fun lives?
Q. I have been wondering for some time about some of my girlfriends who I think are somewhat shallow. I mean, they don't reflect on anything, they just pursue what they want (sex, money, relationships) and don't much care who and what they damage in ...
A. 31 July 2011: Hey. In my own opinion, i think being shallow is a curse rather than a gift. I used to have alot of friends like yours, they seemed rather nice but they never seemed to want much in life, and they could never see the deeper meanings to things, and ... (read in full...)
Clingy boyfriend is suffocating the life out of me!!
Q. My boyfriend is getting on my nerves so much! He wants to see me every single day! I no thats nice, and its nice to feel wanted but i want my own space. Ive only been going out with him for a month, and now its the six week holidays and its the ...
A. 30 July 2011: Hey. Simplely tell him as nice as you can that all though you love him you want some time on your own or to go out with friends. Tell him you do really appreciate him wanting to see you all the time but sometimes he can get a little bit annoying and ... (read in full...)
I hate being her backup friend
Q. Basically my friend has got closer with somemeone else who she always falls out with. I'm sick of them getting close because something always happens and my friends comes running back to me! Should I tell her this? I hate feeling like second ...
A. 30 July 2011: Hey. Ive had many simarlar situations like this, i had a bestfriend once, and when we started highschool she got pretty popular. She would always leave me out or we couldnt do things together because she was busy with other people. When things would ... (read in full...)
Do I take heed of the Value Judgements of others? Or can my fiance and I find happiness following our dreams to help others?
Q. im having a bit of a personal crisis in my life right now, this may take a while to explain so bear with me. When i was a teen i had 2 best friends, we had all been home schooled and spent as much time together as we could. that all changed ...
A. 30 July 2011: Well this guy does sound brilliant if i say so myself. From what it sounds like i wouldnt let him go if he makes you feel that brilliant.
And as for your friend with bi-polar ive had a simarlar situation except from this frie... (read in full...)
Is he just not interested or does he really like me?
Q. What should I do? is he just not interested? I really like this guy at work. He's really friendly and lovely. He stares at me when am not looking and looks away when I catch him. I gave him my number, we were chatting on the phone for over an hour...
A. 29 July 2011: Hey. Well if he said that he likes you and likes the way you look then i personally think he might fancy you abit. if you were talking on the phone for hours this is good sign that you both have alot in common which is excellent relotionship wise. ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty for lying so much to my ex, help me get rid of this guilt
Q. My girlfriend dumped me one year ago. We remained together for two years. It was long distance relationship with occasional meeting here and there. When I looked back into that relationship, I felt guilty and ashamed for lying with her about my job ...
A. 29 July 2011: Hey. Well first of all she dumped you because she wanted a richer more educated guy to impress her parents ? that is an extreamly stupid reason to be dumped. No offence but when you are looking for someone to love you don't just go out with them ... (read in full...)
Do I take heed of the Value Judgements of others? Or can my fiance and I find happiness following our dreams to help others?
Q. im having a bit of a personal crisis in my life right now, this may take a while to explain so bear with me. When i was a teen i had 2 best friends, we had all been home schooled and spent as much time together as we could. that all changed ...
A. 29 July 2011: Hello. Well first of all, are you defintely sure that he is the right man for you ? do you defointly know it in your heart and are sure that he is the one who can give you these dreams and most importantly will treat you respectively and stand by ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my anxiety? It is holding me back in life....
Q. How can i get over my anxiety ?. I am unemployed at the moment, and i enquire about, and apply for , jobs and college courses, e.t.c, but sometimes, when i have been offered interviews , i have been too scared to go and haven't gone to them. And i ...
A. 29 July 2011: Hello. Well i have severe social anxcity which is real pain. I don't think that your anxcity has anything to do with being born premauture, it is most likely to do with the bullying you expireneced at school. I got my anxcity from being rejected so ... (read in full...)
Why did he move on so fast after he said he wanted to be single?
Q. I was dating this guy for a little while not that long then he broke up with me saying i became too clingy and that he doesn't want to be with anyone for a while but it has been two days i called him and he had someone over and he hung up in my ...
A. 29 July 2011: Hello. Well if he dumped you and that was a week or so ago and now he is with another women it sounds like he just used "i want to be single" as an excuss to break up with you. I have seen a lot of boys and girls in fact use that as an excuss ju... (read in full...)
Is it ok for 17 y/o to date a 15 /yo??
Q. Is it ok for a 17 year old (like me ) to date a guy whos almost 15?......
A. 28 July 2011: Well yes i would be abit careful about that. You have to be kinda sure that just because your older isnt the only reason he wants to go out with you, as im sure their are quite a few boys who thinks the older the girl the more expeirenced they ... (read in full...)
Should I come out and be honest about my sexuality?
Q. okayy im 14 and definitely a lesbian , have know for years , and the other day the pressure of it all was too much because i told my friedns about it but felt like i needed and adult to talk to it about ,not my family though coz i dont want them to ...
A. 27 July 2011: Hey. well you must understand that there are going to be people who might not agree with it and yes they could be nasty and horrible to you about it. But you see people are going to know one day, and if you ever want to date another gilr you have to ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for 17 y/o to date a 15 /yo??
Q. Is it ok for a 17 year old (like me ) to date a guy whos almost 15?......
A. 27 July 2011: Hey. Well it depends really do you and this 15 year old have a big problem with the age gap ? if not and you both get on and you want to make a go of it then yeah its fine. Some people care about age and our very picky about the age of people who ... (read in full...)
If this guy is serious about meeting me, is it reasonable for me to ask to meet him half-way?
Q. Hi Readers, I need some advice please. I have been in contact with a guy in Sydney over the last 2 and a half years. The contact to be honest has mainly involved pics and phone sex, a little bit of chat about life etc although to begin with he di...
A. 27 July 2011: Hello. Well first of all if he is on an extreamly high income then why cannot he not fly out to you ? it only seems more intelligent that if he is as rich as he says he is he could come to you instead.
But yes it is a... (read in full...)
Do emo boys go for non-emo girls?
Q. I'm not emo and find some emo boys attractive. Do you think straight emo guys would go for a non-emo girl?...
A. 27 July 2011: It doesnt matter weather your an emo, goth, geek, chav, gangster, girlie girl, jock, scean, nerd, skank, metal head, social outcast, popular person or if you belong to any other sort of group. When it comes down to relotionship people go for other ... (read in full...)
He hasn't said anything about last night......
Q. I am living with my boyfriend. We are together a year now. He has a 7 year old son. He had to work last night so I was babysitting his son. I hadn't heard from him all night so at 10 I text him and said we are off to bed and what time would he be ...
A. 27 July 2011: Hey. Well first of all how drunk was he ? he might not acutally remember what he said or he thought it was a good idea at the time and then realized how out of order he was in the morning but didnt really have the balls to apolgyize.
From... (read in full...)
I miss him so much it actually hurts!! How do I move on?
Q. I had everything and now I have nothing. I feel like me and my ex were doomed from the start. (I must apologise as this will be long and muddled due to how confused I am). Me and my ex got together 4 years ago when he was with someone else, I didn't ...
A. 27 July 2011: Anytime good luck ;) x... (read in full...)
Does he like me or am I getting tricked?
Q. A really popular guy is always saying hi to me and asking me how I am and he asked me if I wanted to do something with him when my friend left. He's got some friends who are super-popular and i'm a nerd. Is it possible he likes a nerd or is he ...
A. 27 July 2011: Hey. Well first of all i hate it in school/college or wherever you are is just because you might not have all the friends and be in the "popular" crowd people think it is okay to take the piss and treat you like you are "lower" than them.
... (read in full...)
Ex girlfriend said I did nothing for her.
Q. My ex gf popped up and we got into a huge blowout. She yelled at me, insulted me and said stuff but when I said the same thing to her it was a blowout. She started talking about how she did all this stuff while we dated, I'm not good with ...
A. 27 July 2011: Hello. Well first of all it is normal to feel upset, she said some hurtful things to you and offended you. When anyone critizes your relotionship skills of course you are going to feel upset.
But try not to let her get to you ... (read in full...)
The ex that wont go away.....
Q. My relationship with my husband has been one I have never experienced. We met online and 7yrs later we'd never thought wed be this happy as parents. There's one issue that has haunted our relationship since day 1-his ex girlfriend. She ...
A. 27 July 2011: Hey. Well from what it sounds like is she has not 100% got over him. They have might of broken up like a decade ago but feelings can sometimes take a life time to get over. It must be very hard for her if she now has to watch him happy and married ... (read in full...)
Qeustions for the guys ...do you prefer bigger women ?
Q. Qeustion for the men. What do you think about bigger women ? Would you ever date one, or do you prefer smaller women, do you find bigger women attractive or do find slim women more attractive ? I ask this because well im trying to start dating and ...
A. 24 July 2011: P.s im not majourly fat i am just abit overwieght im an adult size 10-12 so i would class myself as abit chubby not obese. Its just around here especially being a teenager, if your not really thin normanally boys don't take as much intrest in you. I ... (read in full...)
Qeustions for the guys ...do you prefer bigger women ?
Q. Qeustion for the men. What do you think about bigger women ? Would you ever date one, or do you prefer smaller women, do you find bigger women attractive or do find slim women more attractive ? I ask this because well im trying to start dating and ...
A. 24 July 2011: Ahh thankyou :) And yeah i know that personality always wins over looks. I was just wondering but thankyou for your advice :D ... (read in full...)
I develop serious social anxiety in college and it is getting me really down!
Q. I'm a regular college going person who's subject to all the pressures and deliberations a girl of this age is wont to be under, at this time. However, ever since I left my first year, I've been struggling with a niggling problem that totally wei...
A. 24 July 2011: Ahh anytime i do try my best to help.
Well i did try to fight through it all and like you every day i would put on a brave face and just ignore it to the best of my abilitys, unfortunely i found with me that was ... (read in full...)
I miss him so much it actually hurts!! How do I move on?
Q. I had everything and now I have nothing. I feel like me and my ex were doomed from the start. (I must apologise as this will be long and muddled due to how confused I am). Me and my ex got together 4 years ago when he was with someone else, I didn't ...
A. 23 July 2011: I have been through something simarlar and i will agree that the pain you feel in your heart when someone you love is gone from your life is astounding.
There is no magic answer to moving on it really is just some... (read in full...)
I develop serious social anxiety in college and it is getting me really down!
Q. I'm a regular college going person who's subject to all the pressures and deliberations a girl of this age is wont to be under, at this time. However, ever since I left my first year, I've been struggling with a niggling problem that totally wei...
A. 23 July 2011: Hey :). well i have social anxcity and my story is alot like yours i had 3 best friends, and one of them got in a mood for a riduculous reason and never spoke to me again the other we simply drifted apart, and the last one had been slagging me off ... (read in full...)
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